1.

Impudent Questions

A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic lady to a group of little East-Siders.

The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet lawn under a white-blooming cherry tree, said to her hostess:

"Does your husband drink?"

"Why-er-no, not to excess," was the astonished reply.

"How much does he make?"

"He doesn't work, " said the lady. "He is a capitalist."

"You keep out of debt, I hope?"

"Of course, child. What on earth do you mean by all these impudent questions?"

"Impudent?" said the little girl. "Why, Ma'am, Mother told me to be sure and behave like a lady, and when ladies call at our rooms they always question Mother like that."

无礼的问题

　　一个住在城东贫民区的小女孩获得邀请，参加一位贵妇人为城东贫民区的孩子们举行的花园晚会。

　　在一棵开满了白色小花儿的樱桃树下，小女孩坐在柔软的草地上，一边品尝着她的茶和梅子蛋糕，一边对贵妇人说："你的丈夫酗酒吗？" "呃，呃，不，他喝得不多。"夫人一脸惊诧。

　　"他挣多少钱？"

　　"他不工作，"夫人回答说，"他是个资本家。"

　　"我希望你们没有负债吧？"

　　"当然没有，孩子。你问这么些无礼的问题到底是想说什么呢？"

　　"无礼？"小女孩说，"怎么会呢，夫人？妈妈要我的举止一定要象夫人们一样，当她们到我们家做客的时候，她们总是那样问我妈妈的。"

2.

Go Barefoot

In secondary school, I was always self-conscious about my height.

Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's and run upstairs to let me know which shoes to wear.

When doorbell rang I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: "Go barefoot."

光着脚去

中学的时候，我对自己的高度非常敏感。

一次，一位救生员约我出去。事实上，我从未和他并肩站过，因而不知道他到底有多高。因此约会那晚，我拿出两双鞋，一双高跟，一双平跟。我安排哥哥去开门，让他和救生员比比高度，再上楼告诉我应穿哪双鞋。

门铃响了，我在楼上等着。哥哥跑上楼告诉了我一个不幸的消息："你可以光着脚去约会。"
关键字:笑话幽默
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