章节正文
1.
我忘了那人是谁
A society youth writes ironically to the young lady in the case："Dear Miss Smith， perhaps you remember I proposed to you last night， and I do not now recall whether you said yes，or no．"
"Dear George， I remember I said'no' to someone last night， but I had forgotten who it was．"
我忘了那人是谁
一个社交界的青年给一位年轻女士挖苦地写道："亲爱的史密斯小姐，您也许记得我昨晚向您求婚，但我现在记不起您到底是答应了还是没答应。"
"亲爱的乔治，我记得昨晚是对一个人说了'不'，但忘了那人是谁。"
2.
父亲的东西
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tallas his father，so he began to borrow Mr．Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening．
Mr．Howard did not like this， and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things．
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out， his father stopped him in the hall． He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully．
Then he said angrily，"Isn't that one of my ties，Tom？"
"Yes，Father，it is，"answered Tom．
"And that shirt's mine too，isn't that one of my ties，Tom？"
"Yes，that's yours too，"answered Tom．
"And you're wearing my belt！" said Mr．Howard．
"Yes， I am， Father，"answered Tom．"You don't want your trousers to fall down， do you？"
父亲的东西
汤姆·霍华德17岁的时候，长得和他父亲一般高了，于是当他想和朋友晚上一起出去时，就开始借穿起霍华德先生的衣服来。
霍华德先生可不喜欢这样，所以，当他发现儿子穿了他的什么衣服时，就总是十分恼火。
一天晚上，正当汤姆走下楼来要出去时，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细地打量着汤姆身上的穿着。
然后他气呼呼地说："汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？"
汤姆回答说："是的，父亲，是你的领带。"
他的父亲又继续问："还有那衬衫也是我的，对吧？"
汤姆回答说："是的，那也是你的。"
霍华德先生说："还有，你连皮带也是用我的！"
汤姆回答说："是呀，父亲。你总不希望让你的裤子掉下来吧，是吗？"
3.
I Didn't Notice It
Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?
Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn't notice the other.
我没有看到它
母亲：约翰尼，今天早上我在食品橱里放了两块蛋糕，现在只剩下一块了，你说是怎么回事？
约翰尼：哦，我想是因为里面太黑，我没有看见另一块。
4.
He Was Only Wrong by Two
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren't always smart enought to be accepted by the college.
One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I'd better ask him a few questions first."
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn't know any of the answers.
At last the dean said, "Well, what's five times seven?"
The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."
他的得数只比正确答案多二
杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练，他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行，院方不愿录取。
有一天，教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长，希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说："那我最好先问问他几个问题。"
然后他转向学生，问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。
最后院长说："那么，五乘七得多少？"
学生想了很久，然后回答说："三十六。"
院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说，"噢，录取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。"
关键字:笑话幽默
生词表:
我忘了那人是谁
A society youth writes ironically to the young lady in the case："Dear Miss Smith， perhaps you remember I proposed to you last night， and I do not now recall whether you said yes，or no．"
"Dear George， I remember I said'no' to someone last night， but I had forgotten who it was．"
我忘了那人是谁
一个社交界的青年给一位年轻女士挖苦地写道："亲爱的史密斯小姐，您也许记得我昨晚向您求婚，但我现在记不起您到底是答应了还是没答应。"
"亲爱的乔治，我记得昨晚是对一个人说了'不'，但忘了那人是谁。"
2.
父亲的东西
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tallas his father，so he began to borrow Mr．Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening．
Mr．Howard did not like this， and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things．
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out， his father stopped him in the hall． He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully．
Then he said angrily，"Isn't that one of my ties，Tom？"
"Yes，Father，it is，"answered Tom．
"And that shirt's mine too，isn't that one of my ties，Tom？"
"Yes，that's yours too，"answered Tom．
"And you're wearing my belt！" said Mr．Howard．
"Yes， I am， Father，"answered Tom．"You don't want your trousers to fall down， do you？"
父亲的东西
汤姆·霍华德17岁的时候，长得和他父亲一般高了，于是当他想和朋友晚上一起出去时，就开始借穿起霍华德先生的衣服来。
霍华德先生可不喜欢这样，所以，当他发现儿子穿了他的什么衣服时，就总是十分恼火。
一天晚上，正当汤姆走下楼来要出去时，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细地打量着汤姆身上的穿着。
然后他气呼呼地说："汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？"
汤姆回答说："是的，父亲，是你的领带。"
他的父亲又继续问："还有那衬衫也是我的，对吧？"
汤姆回答说："是的，那也是你的。"
霍华德先生说："还有，你连皮带也是用我的！"
汤姆回答说："是呀，父亲。你总不希望让你的裤子掉下来吧，是吗？"
3.
I Didn't Notice It
Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?
Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn't notice the other.
我没有看到它
母亲：约翰尼，今天早上我在食品橱里放了两块蛋糕，现在只剩下一块了，你说是怎么回事？
约翰尼：哦，我想是因为里面太黑，我没有看见另一块。
4.
He Was Only Wrong by Two
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren't always smart enought to be accepted by the college.
One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I'd better ask him a few questions first."
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn't know any of the answers.
At last the dean said, "Well, what's five times seven?"
The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."
他的得数只比正确答案多二
杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练，他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行，院方不愿录取。
有一天，教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长，希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说："那我最好先问问他几个问题。"
然后他转向学生，问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。
最后院长说："那么，五乘七得多少？"
学生想了很久，然后回答说："三十六。"
院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说，"噢，录取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。"
关键字:笑话幽默
生词表:
文章标签:笑话
章节正文
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