1.

What soldiers?

Wife: Dear! Take a look at those soldiers gawking at the lovely young girl passing by.

Husband: Soldiers? What soldiers?

什么士兵？

妻子：亲爱的！快看那些士兵，他们看经过的那位漂亮女郎都看得发呆了。

丈夫：士兵？什么士兵？

2.

Five Hundred Times

In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

五百遍

　　在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道："你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现今生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写'我开车闯了红灯'500遍。"

4.

Not too Bad

"Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?"

"No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."

不算太坏

"你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗？"

"没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，"他回答说，"有人偷走了一幅。"

5.

When a Tiger comes

Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.

One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?"

His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."

老虎来了

　　两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。

　　当中的一个人从包里拿出一双"耐克"跑鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，"你以为穿上跑鞋就可以跑得过老虎吗？"

他的朋友回答道："我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。"
关键字:笑话幽默
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