1.
A Great Man
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
一名伟人
老师:如果莎士比亚还活着,他会是一名伟人吗?
学生:当然。因为到目前为止,还没有人活到400多岁。
2.
Happiness in Dream
There was a wife who told her husband, "Last night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring."
The husband put down his newspaper and said, "Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them."
妻子告诉丈夫说:"昨天晚上我梦见你给我买了一件裘皮大衣和一个钻石戒指。"
丈夫放下手中的报纸说:"好啊!今晚再睡着时,你就穿戴上它们吧。"
3.
Too Smart for Dad
"Young man," said the angry father from the head of stairs, "didn't I hear the clock strike four when you brought my daughter in?"
"You did," admitted the boyfriend, "it was going to strike eleven , but I grabbed it and held the gong so it wouldn't disturb you."
The father muttered, "Wonder why I didn't think of that one in my courting days!"
青出于蓝
"小伙子,"父亲在楼梯口板着脸说道,"闹钟敲了四下,你才把我女儿带回来,我没听错吧?"
"是的,"男孩承认说,"闹钟本来是要敲11下,但我拽住了钟摆,以免影响您。"
父亲低咕道:"奇怪,我谈恋爱时怎么没想到这一着呢!"
4.
Class, Lass and Ass
Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day,
so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow."
A student,
seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.
班级、情人和蠢驴
汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面,因此他在黑板上写道:"汤姆教授明天将和大家见面"。
一位学生看到这条通知后,觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了,就走上前,将"class"中的"c"擦掉,将意思变为"汤姆教授明天将和情妇见面"。教授听到笑声,转过身走回来,看了看那位学生,又看看被改动过的通知,不动声色地走上前,把"lass"中的"l"擦掉,将意思改为"汤姆教授明天将和蠢驴见面"。看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生,教授扬长而去。
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