1.

Uncle Silas had lighted his pipe for a comfortable smoke，when Aunt Rebecca looked up from her knitting and said："Silas，do you know that Sunday next will be the thirtieth anniversary of our wedding？"

"I swan，"said Silas，"is that so，and what about it？"

"Oh，nothing，"said Aunt Rebecca，"only thought may be we ought to kill them two Rhode Island Red chickens．"

"But，Rebecca，"said Uncle Silas，"how can you blame them two Rhode Island Red chickens for what happened thirty years ago？"

赛拉斯大叔点燃了烟斗想好好吸一口，丽贝卡大妈织着毛衣抬眼说："赛拉斯，你知不知道下星期日是我们结婚三十周年？"

"老天哪，"赛拉斯说，"是吗？那又怎么样？"

"噢，没什么，"丽贝卡大妈应道，"我只是想，也许我们该把那两只罗得岛红鸡宰了。"

"可是，丽贝卡，"赛拉斯大叔说，"你怎么能够把三十年前发生的事怪到那两只罗得岛红鸡的头上呢？"

2.

A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor．

"When I was first married，I was very happy． I'd come home from a hard day down at the shop，and my little dog would race around barking，and my wife would bring me my slippers．Now everything's changed．When I come home，my dog brings me my slippers，and my wife barks at me．"

"I don't know what you're complaining about，"said the counselor．"You're still getting the same service．"

汪汪叫的妻子

一个结婚十年的男人正在请教一位婚姻顾问。

"刚结婚那会儿，我非常幸福。我在店里劳累一天回到家，我的小狗会绕着我跑，汪汪叫，而我的妻子给我拿来拖鞋。现在一切都变了。我回到家里，我的狗给我拿来拖鞋，我的妻子对着我汪汪叫。"

"我不知道你在抱怨什么，"婚姻顾问说。"你得到的服务还是一样的呀。"



3.

On his deathbed poor Lubin lies；

His spouse is in despair；

With frequent sobs and mutual cries；

They both express their care．

"A different cause，"says Parson Sly，

"The same effect may give：

Poor Lubin fears that he may die ；

His wife，that he may live"．

合理的哀伤

马修·普赖厄

可怜的鲁宾躺在他的病床里；

他的妻子陷入绝望；

频频啜泣，相对哭啼，

他们都表达着忧伤。

"不同原因，"滑头牧师说，

"可产生同样结果：

可怜的鲁宾怕他会死；

他老婆，怕他会活。"
关键字:笑话幽默
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