1.

How Much Is It?

It was winter, and Mrs. Hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was Saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to pay for everything and to carry her parcels. They went to a lot of shops, and Mrs. Hermann bought a lot of things. She often stopped and said, "Look, Joe! Isn't that beautiful!"

He then answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?" and took his money out to pay for it.

It was dark when they came out of the last shop, and Mr. Hermann was tired and thinking about other things, like a nice drink by the side of a warm fire at home. Suddenly his wife looked up at the sky and said, "Look at that beautiful moon, Joe!"

Without stopping, Mr. Hermann answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?"

多少钱？

严冬来临，荷曼太太想采购一大批东西，所以她就一直等到周六丈夫有空的时候，她拖着他去商店付钱连带拎包裹。他们去了许多商店，荷曼太太买了一大堆东西。她经常停下脚步说道："看，乔伊!那个多漂亮!"

他总是回答："好吧!亲爱的，多少钱？"然后掏钱去付款。

他们从最后一家商店出来的时候夜幕已经降临，荷曼先生已精疲力尽了。他心里想着其它事情，比如在家里暖暖的火炉边呷口美酒。突然他太太仰望天空，说道："看那月亮多美，乔伊!"

荷曼先生不加思索答道："好吧，亲爱的，多少钱？"

2.

Three Whistles

I promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday, but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked, I let out a long, low whistle. "And how much are they then?" I asked, pointing to another tray.

"You, sir," replied the jeweler, "about three whistles."

三声口哨

我答应过我的女朋友过生日进送她一条金项链。可是当珠宝商报出我们看中的那条项链的价格时，我低低地打了个长口哨。"那这条项链多少钱呢？"我指着另一个盘子里的项链问。

"先生，对你来说，"珠宝商答道，"大约值三声口哨。"

3.

Early Shopper

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

采购过早

那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。"你为什么而被起诉？"他问。

"采购圣诞节物品过早。"被告答。

"这不算犯法，"法官回答，"你购物多早？"

在商店开门之前，"犯人应道。

4.

Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

中间战术

三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书："大减价!""特便宜!"

左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称："大砍价!""大折扣!"

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着："入口处"。
关键字:笑话幽默
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