中华民族自古以来就十分注重"礼",《礼记》上说:"礼尚往来。往而不来,非礼也;来而不往,亦非礼也。"意思是说,如果别人送礼给你,你也要回送给别人一份,这才是礼貌的。
正因为注重"礼",在中国,逢年过节,亲朋好友之间都会互相登门拜访,并馈赠礼品。馈赠礼品也有很多禁忌,送礼物本来是为了传递美好情谊,加深人们感情的,但如果因为不懂而触犯了某些禁忌,就会适得其反,造成误会。
那么,中国人送礼物都有哪些禁忌呢?
一般来说,钟是不能作为礼物送人的,因为"送钟"和"送终"谐音,被认为是很不吉利的。
绿颜色的帽子也不能作为礼物送给男性,"绿帽子"这个词在中国有特殊的含义,即妻子出轨。
菊花是葬礼用花,因而无论是什么颜色的菊花,都不宜作为礼物赠送。
很多地方还忌讳送"梨"和"伞",因为"梨"暗示着"离","伞"寓意着"散",离和散都是人们厌恶的。
鞋子也一般不宜当做礼物,因为如果送的鞋子比较小不合脚,就是给人"穿小鞋","穿小鞋"有打击报复、使人难堪的意思。
此外,中国是一个多民族国家,很多少数民族也会有特殊的禁忌,比如给回族朋友送跟猪有关的礼物,一定会惹得他们恼怒等等。
Taboos on Giving Presents in China
Chinese people have long paid much attention to the etiquette since ancient times. It is said in Book of Rites that "Propriety suggests reciprocity. It is not propriety not to give but to receive, or vice versa". It suggests that courtesy on one side only does not last long. If somebody gives you a present, it is polite for you to give him one in return.
Courtesy is highly suggested in China. On holidays, relatives and friends visit each other and exchange presents. Giving presents is a way to convey friendly sentiments and deepen intimacy, but there are many taboos about giving presents. Ignorance of etiquettes will lead to violation of taboos and arouse misunderstandings. Let's see some interesting cases in this regard.
Generally speaking, people don't give a clock to each other. In Chinese, "送钟(sòngzhōng)" (to give clock as a gift) and "送终(sòngzhōng)" (to attend upon a dying parent or other senior member of one's family) sound exactly the same. Therefore, it would be considered as ominous if you give a clock to people.
Green hats cannot be sent as gifts to men, because a green hat has a particular implication in China. "绿帽子"(a green hat) in China suggests a man is cheated by his wife.
The chrysanthemum is often used for funerals in China and therefore cannot be given as a gift, no matter what color it is.
In many places, pears and umbrellas should not be given to people. "梨(lí)"(pear) and "离(lí)" (to depart) are homophones, and "伞(sǎn)"(umbrella) sounds similar to "散(sàn)"(to separate). Since the Chinese hate the departure and separation of family members, they would avoid giving pears and umbrellas as gifts.
Generally, shoes are not used as gifts either. If you give somebody a pair of shoes which turn out to be too small for his feet, you would be suspected to try to make things hard for him. In Chinese this is described with the colloquial saying "穿小鞋(chuāng xiǎoxié)", which means taking revenge on somebody by bringing troubles to him.
China is a multi-ethnic country with 56 nationalities altogether, and many nationalities have their own taboos on giving presents. For example, you will surely annoy a friend who is a Muslim of the Hui nationality by giving him a present related to the pig, because the Hui people hate pigs and consider them to be foul and impure.