Susan: "Bree, we have to talk."



Lynette goes to the door and locks it.



Church Side Room



The reverend enters.



Orson: "Ah, Reverend. Any word from the bridal party?"



Reverend: "They're still in the Bride's Room. You know women. They are probably in there fussing about mascara and blush."



Bride's Changing Room



Bree: "He did not hack her up and dissolve the pieces in acid."



Gabrielle: "I said it was a theory."



Lynette: "The point is Alma disappeared under very suspicious circumstances."



Bree: "I don't have time for this. I'm getting married now."



Susan: "This is your day. You can push the ceremony back an hour. Now get that detective on the phone and talk things out with Orson."



Bree: "I can't talk to Orson. It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding!"



Lynette: "You know what's really bad luck? Marrying a wife killer."



Bree: "If the three of you don't drop this right now, I will never forgive you."



Susan: "Bree, we are just doing this because we love you. But, if you can honestly tell us that you don't have the slightest doubt..."



Bree: "None whatsoever."



Gabrielle picks up her bouquet, Lynette follows, and Susan follows them out to the chapel.



Wedding Chapel



Orson is standing at the altar. The Wedding March theme plays on the organ as Bree walks down the aisle and the guests stand up. The reverend signals everyone to sit as Bree joins Orson at the altar.



Reverend: "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together in this site of God to join this man and woman in Holy-"



Bree: "Excuse me, could you give us just a second?"



Reverend: "Is something wrong?"



Bree: "I just need a moment."



Bree pulls Orson off to the side.



Bree: "Before we do this, there's something I need to ask you."



Orson: "What?"



Bree: "Did you kill your wife? Susan talked to that Carolyn woman. Why didn't you tell me that the police searched your house?"



Orson: "'Cause it's embarrassing. And they didn't find anything."



Bree: "Is that because you scrubbed the house so thoroughly?"



Orson: "When I'm upset, I clean. For God's sake, Bree, I swear to you, I did not kill my wife."



Bree: "Okay."



They walk back up to the altar. Susan, Lynette, and Gabrielle glance at each other.



Bree (to the Reverend): "Proceed."



Reverend: "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together in this site of God to join this man and woman in Holy Matrimony, which is an honorable estate..."



Bree and Orson's Wedding Party



An elaborate tent is set up in Gabrielle's yard. Bree and Orson kiss at the head table. Everyone applauds. Lynette looks over at the table where Nora is surrounded by men. Nora gets up and walks over to Lynette.



Lynette: "Hey, look at you. Miss Popular. So, you having a good time over there?"



Nora: "As if! And I don't know what idiot stuck me at that table, but every guy over there is just a boring stiff!"



Lynette: "All of them? What about Jerry? Jerry's fun."



Nora: "You mean Mr. Fatty Hairplugs? Oh, yeah, he's a blast."



Nora holds her fingers like a gun and shoots her head while making a noise like a gun shooting.



Lynette: "Um. How about Steve? You know what? I hear his family has money."



Nora: "Well, then maybe they could all chip in and buy him some deodorant. I'm through with those losers. I'm gonna stay right here with you. Are you gonna eat that?"



Carlos walks in and runs into Gabrielle.



Gabrielle: "Hey, look at you."



Carlos: "God, I hate wearing a tux. On my way in, Bree's Aunt Fern asked me to park her car."



Gabrielle: "She's got glaucoma. To her, you're nothing but a Hispanic blur. Let me fix your tie."



Carlos: "Hey, you're wearing mama's pearls."



Gabrielle: "Yeah."



Edie and Austin walk in.



Edie: "Oh. Hey, Julie. Have you met my nephew, Austin?"



Julie: "Yeah, we met. I just didn't recognize him with his shirt on."



Julie walks away.



Austin: "She couldn't take her eyes off my ass. I felt violated."



Austin walks away in the opposite direction. Susan walks up to Edie.



Susan: "Hi, Edie. Nice party, huh?"



Edie: "It was."



Susan walks over to Gabrielle, who is finishing up fixing Carlos' tie.



Gabrielle: "Perfect."



Susan: "Well, it's nice to see you two getting along again."



Carlos: "We've sort of turned a corner."



Susan: "Really? Does that mean you're gonna be getting back together?"



Gabrielle (at the same time as Carlos): "God, no!"



Carlos (at the same time as Gabrielle): "Maybe."



Susan: "Wow, is that shrimp?"



Susan walks away.



Gabrielle: "What would make you think I would have even considered taking you back?"



Carlos: "Well, you invited me to be your date."



Gabrielle: "Guest, Carlos. I said guest."



Carlos: "Come on, you've been flirting with me since I came in. 'Here, baby, let me fix your tie.' Well, for a woman who is not interested, you sure are sending some mixed signals."



Gabrielle: "You want a clear signal? How's this?"



Gabrielle pulls Carlos' tie apart and walks away.



Susan is at the buffet table.



Susan: "Ian!"



Ian: "Susan?"



Susan: "What are you doing here?"



Ian: "Well, my cousin is Dr. Hodge's dental hygienist and her husband, he couldn't join us since he's come down with a spot of impetigo, so she called me. Knowing how much I love a Garden Toss and so..."



Susan: "Ian?"



Ian: "Yes, I'm such a terrible liar. Impetigo? Where did that come from?"



Susan: "Hmm? So what are you really doing here?"



Ian: "Look, I can't stop thinking about us. About how great we could be together and I think you're making a mistake."



Susan: "Ian."



Ian: "Susan, please don't go. Can't we at least talk about this?"



Susan: "I can't 'cause I have bridesmaid stuff."



Susan walks away. Gabrielle walks over to a young waiter.



Gabrielle: "Hi there. I just wanted to say you're doing a great job, Tad. That's such a masculine name."



Tad: "My boyfriend seems to like it."



Gabrielle: "Okay, here's the drill. My ex is here and I want to piss him off so just act like you're all hot for me and there's a hundred buck tip in it for you."



Tad: "Right, uh, so should I cup your boob?"



Gabrielle: "No, I'll drive."



Gabrielle laughs loudly and keeps putting her hand on Tad's chest. Carlos sees her and walks over to the bar.



Carlos: "Tequila, straight. Hey, are there any decent single women as this wedding?"



Bartender: "Not that I've seen."



Carlos: "Ah, damn it, not a one."



Lynette overhears Carlos and walks up to him.



Lynette: "Hey, Carlos. You should come over to our table. That's where all the hotties are."



Tom is on the stage with a microphone.



Tom: "Hey everyone, I say it is time that we get Bree and Orson up here for their first dance as a married couple. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mr. and Mrs. Orson Hodge."



Everyone applauds and Orson and Bree get up to dance.



Bree: "Orson, you look so serious."



Orson: "Trying to remember my steps."



Bree: "You're upset, aren't you? You're still thinking about what I said at the church."



Orson: "Which part, darling? The 'I do' part or the 'did you kill your wife' part?"



Bree: "I'm sorry, but I had to ask."



Orson: "That's my point. You had to ask."



Later, Tom and Lynette look on as Carlos and Nora dance. Carlos has picked Nora up and is spinning her around.



Nora: "Whoo Hoo!"



Tom (to Lynette): "You are going to rot in hell for this."



Lynette: "Hey, I just brought two lost souls together. Okay, how about this? He cheated on my friend. He deserves every bit of crazy she's gonna rain down on him."



Tom: "Hell, rot, you."



Later, Carlos and Nora are still dancing as well as kissing.



Lynette: "What are they doing?"



Tom: "Rounding second and heading for third."



Lynette: "Uh oh."



Gabrielle storms up to Carlos and Nora.



Gabrielle: "Carlos!"



Carlos: "Oh, hey, Gaby. Look, I made a new friend."



Gabrielle: "Yes, I've been watching you make your new friend and it's disgusting!"



She pulls them apart.



Nora: "Do you mind? We're trying to dance here."



Gabrielle: "Who the hell are you anyway? And why the hell are you at this wedding?"



The music stops. Tom and Lynette watch as Carlos, Gabrielle, and Nora argue.



Tom (to Lynette): "This is not going to end well."



Lynette: "They are just two random people who met at a wedding. Can't pin it on me."



Nora (pointing at Lynette): "It was her!"



Gabrielle: "Lynette Scavo, I want to talk to you!"



Lynette starts walking away.



Lynette (to Tom): "I'll see you at home."



Gabrielle turns toward Carlos.



Gabrielle: "What were you thinking? I didn't invite you here to embarrass me in front of my friends."



Carlos: "Oh, no, you just wanted me to watch while you sucked the zits off some teenage waiter."



Gabrielle: "That's it! I take my invitation back! You are no longer welcome in my house!"



Carlos: "Fine! I'll go. Just give me back the pearls."



Gabrielle: "No!"



Carlos: "Gaby!"



Gabrielle: "Carlos! No!"



Carlos: "They were my mama's!"



Gabrielle: "No!"



The necklace breaks and the pearls spill all over the dance floor. Gabrielle hits Carlos on his chest.



Gabrielle: "Now look what you've done!"



They both stoop down to pick them up.



Xiao-Mei, in her nightgown, comes in. Carlos and Gabrielle are on the dance floor fighting for the pearls.



Xiao-Mei: "Mrs. Solis!"



Gabrielle: "No, Carlos!"



Carlos: "Give me that!"



Gabrielle: "Give me those! Get away, those are mine."



Carlos: "No! The hell they are."



Xiao-Mei is at the edge of the dance floor.



Xiao-Mei: "Mrs. Solis!"



Gabrielle: "Not now, Xiao-Mei!"



Xiao-Mei: "Mrs. Solis!"



Gabrielle: "Oh for God's sake, what?"



Xiao-Mei's water breaks onto the dance floor.



Xiao-Mei: "I think maybe it's time."



Later, Tom is holding the microphone by Aunt Fern who is making a toast.



Aunt Fern: "And I wish you both a lifetime of happiness."



Tom: "Wow, that was beautiful, Aunt Fern. Thank you. Hey, they mopped up all the amniotic fluid so we should feel safe to start the Conga line!"



Ian (standing up): "Actually, I'd like to say a few words. Bree, Orson, your love is an inspiration to us all."



Bree (whispering to Orson): "That's very sweet."



Orson: "Mm."



Bree: "How do you know him?"



Orson: "I thought he was on your side."



Bree: "Mm-mm."



Ian: "Well I know this is the second marriage for both of you and I think you are jolly brave. So often people find excuses not to fall in love again. They're afraid." (he looks at Susan) "But it's rare to find somebody that you connect with. So when you do, you have to follow your heart. Bree, Orson, I salute you."



Tom: "All right. Let's get the music cranking and the..."



Susan (standing up): "Actually Tom could you just hang on a second. Uh, I also would like to say a few words. To Bree and Orson, ah yes, what could be better than a second love, and this time you enter it a little older, a little wiser, but also, and this is key, uh, with a bit of caution. Because, while love can be spontaneous and wonderful, it can also be selfish and sometimes the best thing you can do is just to walk away. Uh, not you two. You two crazy kids are great. Congrats, yeah."



Tom: "Well, then. Let's..."



Ian: "Hang on, I'd like to respond to that toast. Bree, Orson, sometimes walking away can seem the best choice. It's certainly the safest, but what do you do when you find someone that makes you feel joy when you thought you never would again? Do you just let them go? No, no, I can't do that."



Ian sits down. The guests turn to look at Susan.



Tom (to Susan): "You wanna..."



Susan: "No, I'm good."



Tom: "All right then. Let's dance!"



The music begins to play and everyone gets up. Ian smiles at Susan, who smiles back.



Fairview Memorial Hospital Waiting Room



Gabrielle is reading a magazine when Lynette walks in with a carry-on bag.



Lynette: "Well, I thought you might need a change of clothes. Yeah, you're still mad at me, huh?"



Gabrielle: "What were you thinking setting Carlos up with that skunk!"



Lynette: "I'm sorry, I was desperate. I had a little too much to drink and you are divorcing Carlos."



Gabrielle: "Lynette! Carlos will never be fair game! You know the rules!"



Lynette: "You're right. You are right. You're right. I'm so sorry. It's just..."



Gabrielle: "What?"



Lynette: "I'm so unhappy. Ever since that woman pushed her way into our lives I can't even work up a smile. And the more she pushes the more I resent Tom. Tom. For something he did twelve years ago. And I'm afraid if I can't fix this, that the anger is just going to fester until.."



Gabrielle: "Lynette, listen to me. You and Tom will survive this."



Lynette: "No, seriously, Gaby, I am so tired of pretending to smile."



Gabrielle: "You and Tom will survive this."



Lynette: "Yeah? How can you be so sure?"



Gabrielle: "Because some marriages were built to last. And some aren't. Trust me, I know the difference."



Wedding Party



Orson is feeding Bree a piece of cake. Everyone applauds. They kiss.



Detective: "I'm looking for Bree Van de Kamp."



The waiter points to Bree.



Bree: "Could you excuse me for a just a minute."



Bree walks over to the detective.



Detective: "Excuse me, are you Mrs. Van de Kamp?"



Bree: "It's Hodge now."



Detective: "Yes, I'm terribly sorry to barge in like this, but we need your husband to come down to the morgue. We may have found his wife's body."



Fairview Memorial Hospital Maternity Ward



Xiao-Mei is in labor. Carlos and Gabrielle are standing on either side of the bed. Xiao-Mei is breathing very hard and struggling between Carlos and Gabrielle.



Carlos: "Push, Xiao-Mei, push."



Doctor: "Okay, deep breaths now. We're getting close."



Gabrielle: "It's time! I can't believe this is happening!"



Carlos: "Honey, I want to cry."



Gabrielle: "Carlos, I am so sorry about the..."



Carlos: "I, me too, me too. I was way out of line."



Gabrielle: "I forgive you. It's worth it when you experience a moment as beautiful as this."



Xiao-Mei: "Ahhhh!"



Doctor: "Okay, I see the head now."



Gabrielle (to Carlos): "Ah, get the camera, get the camera!"



Carlos grabs a video camera.



Xiao-Mei: "Ahhhh!"



A baby cries. Gabrielle and Xiao-Mei look at the baby and freeze. The doctor holds up an African American baby. Carlos continues to film.



Carlos: "Man, I got to get the color fixed on this thing."



Gabrielle pushes the camera down. Carlos looks at the baby in shock.



Fairview Memorial Hospital



Carlos and Gabrielle are talking to the Fertility Doctor.



Gabrielle: "How could this have happened? What kind of half-ass fertility clinic are you running?"



Doctor: "Prior to implantation, your embryo was accidentally switched with another client's."



Carlos: "So, if we got theirs and they got ours, then it's possible..."



Doctor: "No, I'm afraid your embryo didn't take. Again, on behalf of the clinic, I am so sorry. It's rare but these things do happen."



Gabrielle: "Excuse me, you screw up our lives and the best you can do is, 'that's the way the cookie crumbles?' And who is this guy? Why is he writing down everything I say?"



Doctor: "This is Mr. Darby, our attorney. We thought it wise to have him present."



Gabrielle: "You know what else would have been wise? Sticking the right baby in the right belly!"



Doctor: "Mrs. Solis, please."



Gabrielle storms out.



Fairview Morgue



Bree and Orson follow the detective into a room where the body is lying. The coroner is standing by the covered body. He lifts the sheet. Orson shakes his head.



Orson: "That's not Alma."



Detective: "Are you sure?"



Orson: "Absolutely! Thank God."



Carolyn Bixby walks in from another entrance.



Orson: "Carolyn. What is she doing here?"



Carolyn: "You didn't honestly think they'd take your word for it, did you?"



The coroner lifts the sheet again.



Carolyn: "It's not her."



Detective: "Well, that's it, then. Sorry for wasting your time."



Carolyn: "This mean nothing. I'm telling you that man is as guilty as sin."



Bree: "We know what you think. Now would you please leave us alone?"



Carolyn: "He's a cold-blooded killer."



Bree: "He's kind and decent and nothing you could say will ever make me doubt him again. Now please go."



Carolyn stops before she walks out the door.



Carolyn: "You deserve him."



Bree: "I hope to."



The detective follows Carolyn out.



Orson: "Darling, I am so sorry you had to endure that. Are you all right?"



Bree: "I'm fine. Let's just go back to our guests and forget any of this ever happened."



Orson: "Right."



Bree walks out. Orson turns toward the covered body.



Orson: "Tu me manques, Monique."



Wisteria Lane



Carlos and Gabrielle drive up to their home. The waiters are cleaning up the yard and taking everything to the trucks.



Gabrielle: "Well."



Carlos: "Yeah."



Gabrielle: "I feel so..."



Carlos: "Me too. Well, you know what the good news is?"



Gabrielle: "What's that?"



Carlos: "Now that there's no baby, it will make the divorce a lot simpler."



Gabrielle: "Yeah, that's something."



Carlos: "So, see you at the mediator's."



Gabrielle: "See you then."



Gabrielle gets out of the car and as Carlos drives away, they stare at each other.



"Have you met the perfect couple? The two soul mates whose love never dies?"



Lynette's House



Tom is fast asleep on the bed. Lynette stands over him watching him sleep.



"The two lovers whose relationship is never threatened."



Hotel Room



Bree and Orson enter.



"The husband and wife who trust each other completely."



Wedding Party



Ian and Susan are slow dancing under the empty tent from the wedding.



"If you haven't met the perfect couple, let me introduce you."



Focus in on the bride and groom at the top of the wedding cake.



"They stand atop a layer of butter cream frosting. The secret of their success? Well, for starters, they don't have to look at each other."



~ The End ~

关键字:绝望主妇第三季

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