Orson enters and Bree meets him.



Orson: "She's not going."



Bree: "Why not? And what the hell was that on the porch?!"



Orson: "She kissed me good-bye. What was I supposed to do, slug her?"



Bree: "You went over there to read her the riot act. Instead, it looked like you were reading her a bedtime story."



Orson: "Bree, I told her we don't want her here. I threatened, I shouted. She refuses to go. We're just gonna have to make the best of it."



TOM'S RESTAURANT



Tom picks up his cell phone when it rings.



Tom: "Hello?"



Lynette: "Hey, it's me. You wanna meet for lunch?"



Tom: "No, honey, I got--I gotta drive to Greendale to pick out napkins. Remember? I told ya.



Lynette: "Oh. Yeah, that's right."



Tom: "So I'll, um, I'll see you tonight."



Lynette: "Okay. Good. I'll see ya."



He gets into his car and drives away. Across the street, Lynette gets out of her car, where she was watching Tom, and goes into the restaurant. She looks around, visibly impressed.



Lynette: "Oh... my... god."



Andrew: "Hey, Mrs. Scavo."



In the corner, Andrew is sitting on the floor playing a handheld video game.



Lynette: "Andrew, hi! I thought you weren't starting until the opening."



Andrew: "Oh, yeah, there's just so much work that needs to be done. Mr. Scavo asked me to start early."



Lynette: "Oh."



Andrew: "He's not here, by the way."



Lynette: "Yeah, I-I know. And hey, don't tell him I stopped by. I'm not supposed to be here. I just wanted to sneak a peek."



She pauses.



Lynette: "Shouldn't you be working?"



Andrew: "Shouldn't you not be here?"



Lynette: "Touché."



Andrew: "So, uh, how do you like the place?"



Lynette: "I think it's fantastic. It's really coming together. Ooh, I love the bar."



Andrew: "Oh, yeah, it's, uh, it's pretty cool. It's too bad we can't get a liquor license."



Lynette: "What?"



Andrew: "Oh, uh, didn't Mr. Scavo tell you?"



Lynette: "No, he didn't. Don't, um, restaurants make half their money on the liquor?"



Andrew: "Oh. Yeah. We're--we're completely screwed."



Lynette: "This is a nightmare. How did this happen?"



Andrew: "Uh, the city, uh, rezoned and said he had to get all the residents within a block to sign a waiver, and there are some holdouts. He's kinda bummin'."



Lynette: "Well, then why isn't he dealing with it instead of shopping for napkins? We could lose our shirts in this dump!"



SUSAN'S HOUSE



Susan is on the phone while holding the birth control pills.



Susan: "Is this Dr. Marvin Tashman? Hi. My name is Susan Mayer. Um, my daughter Julie came in to see you...Yes, about birth control. So I'm just curious...Where do you get off prescribing that without my consent?! What?! No, I most certainly was not there. What do I look like? I don't have blonde hair."



She looks out the window and sees Edie talking with Alma on Alma's front lawn.



Susan: "Wait, did my blonde hair have dark roots?"



OUTSIDE ALMA'S HOUSE



Alma's about to go inside when Edie turns to her.



Edie: "Oh! I forgot to give you the keys to the shed."



Susan comes out of her house and shouts across the road to Edie.



Susan: "You got my daughter the pill?!"



Edie turns to Alma.



Edie: "Here. Catch."



She throws the keys to Alma, then walks quickly back to her own house. Susan runs to follows her.



Susan: "Don't you walk away from me!"



Edie: "Do we have to do this now?"



Susan: "Yes, we do. You might have gotten your first diaphragm with milk money, But that doesn't give you the right To corrupt my daughter!"



Edie: "Look, it's not like I went after Julie and said, "Hey, do you wanna go out for a burger and some birth control?" She came to me."



Susan: "You do not get to decide this for her! What were you thinking?!"



Edie: "Aah! I was thinking, if Julie got knocked up, That--That you and I could become family, And I'm sorry, I cannot take that chance."



Susan: "Oh, you know what? It wasn't till your rotten nephew came to town That Julie was a perfect kid. And now she's lying and scheming and having casual sex! She's just a boob job away from being you!"



Edie: "Look, Mayer, Julie has discovered sex. The genie is out of the bottle. And you better get good with it, or you could lose her forever. 'Cause like it or not, she loves him. And you know what else? He loves her."



They enter Edie's house and see Austin making out with a girl on the couch.



Edie: "Ahem!"



Austin and the girl look up in shock. The girl is Danielle.



FANCY RESTAURANT



As Gabrielle is seated at a table, the maitre d' hands her a menu.



Maitre D': "Your gentleman friend went to make a call. He'll be with you shortly."



Gabrielle: "Thank you. Oh."



Zach Young comes up to Gabrielle.



Zach: "Gabrielle."



Gabrielle: "Zach Young! Oh, my god! It's been ages. Wow. Look at you! So handsome in a suit.



Zach: "You look beautiful."



Gabrielle: "Aren't you sweet? Uh, well, anyway, I--I'd love to catch up, But I'm kinda waiting for someone."



Zach: "Yes, I know."



He sits down across from Gabrielle.



Zach: "So the dress fits. Cool."



The waiter comes up to them.



Zach: "I'd like a bottle of your 1982 Château Lafitte Rothschild, please."



Waiter: "I'm sorry. How old are you?"



Zach: "Oh, uh, why don't we say...a hundred?"



He hands the waiter a hundred dollar bill.



Waiter: "So you are."



The waiter leaves.



Gabrielle: "Wow, someone got an advance on their allowance."



Zach: "I was my grandfather's sole heir. I'm--I'm actually in the Fortune four hundred. Does that--does that seem weird to you?"



Gabrielle: "I'm on a date with Zach Young. Nothing's ever gonna seem weird again."



OUTSIDE LYNETTE'S HOUSE



Lynette is talking with Mrs. McCluskey, who's holding Penny on her lap.



Lynette: "Every cent we have is circling the bowl and Tom never said a word. Why didn't he come to me?"



Mrs. McCluskey: "Well, clearly, he's embarrassed."



Lynette: "But I'm his wife."



Mrs. McCluskey: "Don't be dense, Lynette. Half the reason men want to accomplish anything is so they can show off for the women they love and when they fail, they like to keep it to themselves."



Lynette: "I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna tell him I went to the restaurant and that I know he screwed up and that I'm gonna fix it."



Mrs. McCluskey: "Oh, for god sake, it's bad enough you cut off his cojones. Now you wanna juggle them?"



Lynette: "My husband is in trouble. I love him. Shouldn't I want to help him?"



Mrs. McCluskey: "Well, if you really love him, you should help him without letting him know that you did."



FANCY RESTAURANT



Zach: "Yeah, so in addition to my penthouse, I also have a château in Switzerland And a cottage in the Hamptons. That's pretty impressive, huh?"



Gabrielle: "You got a little chocolate on your shirt."



Zach: "Hmm? Damn it!"



Gabrielle: "Here, let me get it."



Zach: "No, I can do it! I can do it! I--I'd like to do it myself, thank you very much. I'm sorry, I--you know, I'll--I'll be neater for you next time."



Gabrielle: "Next time? Honey, let's get real. You are way too young for me."



Zach: "I'm two months older than John Rowland."



Gabrielle: "Well, John Rowland was a mistake. I was lonely."



Zach: "You're not lonely now?"



Gabrielle: "You've heard about my divorce."



Zach: "Yeah. You were really smart to get rid of Carlos. You deserve much better.



Gabrielle: "And let me guess--now you're my upgrade?"



Zach: "Well, everybody knows you need someone to take care of you, and I'm rich now. I can give you anything you want."



Gabrielle: "Wait a minute. Who says I need someone to take care of me?"



Zach: "My mom, her friends from the neighborhood. They said it was the only reason you stayed with Carlos, considering how he treated you."



Gabrielle: "Well, they were wrong. Thank you for lunch, Zach."



Zach: "Wait, Gabrielle. I'm not that awkward kid that I was before. Can you please just... Please take me seriously."



Gabrielle: "I'm sorry. I just can't."



Zach: "I'm not--I'm not gonna give up."



Gabrielle: "Oh, sweetie. I really wish you would."



She leans over and kisses him on his forehead. As she starts to pull back, he grabs her and kisses her on the mouth. Gabrielle yanks herself away.



Gabrielle: "For god sakes, Zach! Don't hijack a Ferrari if you don't know how to drive!"



MR. GAUNT'S HOUSE - NIGHTTIME



Lynette knocks on the door and an older man opens.



Lynette: "Mr. Gaunt? Hi, I'm Lynette Scavo. My husband is opening the pizzeria Right down the block--"



Mr. Gaunt: "If it's about that liquor license, I'm not signing."



Lynette: "Please, I've been at this for hours. Just hear me out."



Mr. Gaunt: "Well, I never could resist a pretty lady."



Lynette: "Oh!"



Mr. Gaunt: "Come on in"



Lynette: "Thank you."



Later, Lynette is holding a drink as she looks at the pictures Mr. Gaunt has on his wall. There are many pictures of him with showgirls.



Lynette: "Did you live in Las Vegas?"



Mr. Gaunt: "I was a croupier for forty years, and as you can see, I had a weakness for showgirls."



Lynette: "I bet you were quite the player."



Mr. Gaunt: "You have no idea. Can I top you off there?"



Lynette: "No, thanks. Two's my limit."



Mr. Gaunt: "Well, suit yourself."



The two of them sit across from each other at the kitchen table.



Lynette: "Look, I understand your concerns about the license. Your neighbors had them, too. But they signed the waiver once I explained to them that this is a family restaurant. No late nights, no loud music."



Mr. Gaunt: "If there's one thing I learned in Vegas, it's that booze turns most people into noisy jackasses, and I don't want 'em puking on my doorstep."



Lynette: "Come on, Harry. You are my last holdout. What's it gonna take? Cash? Uh, free pizza for the rest of your life? You name it."



Mr. Gaunt: "Look, I-I hate to disappoint a pretty lady, but I'm not signing."



Lynette: "Harry, my husband quit his job to start this restaurant, and if we can't sell liquor, we can't make a profit."



She notices that he's staring at her breasts.



Lynette: "And whoa, whoa, whoa, Harry. Eyes up here."



Mr. Gaunt: "Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry."



Lynette: "This place is his dream, and if he can't make it work, then it's just gonna kill him, and consequently it's gonna kill our marriage."



She notices that he's staring at her breasts again.



Lynette: "And, Harry--Harry, what did I say?"



Mr. Gaunt: "I know, uh, uh, I don't mean to be rude. It's just that my showgirl days were a while ago, and I can't remember the last time I laid eyes on a... a beautiful woman's...bosom."



Lynette: "Really? Well, what if I were to very briefly refresh your memory?"



Later, Mr. Gaunt is signing the papers while Lynette buttons up her shirt.



Mr. Gaunt: "Completely worth it."



Lynette: "Glad you thought so."



ALMA'S HOUSE



Movers are carrying furniture into Alma's house. Alma talks to her bird.



Alma: "Mmm! come on, baby. Say it one more time for mommy."



Mover: "So you can teach 'em to say whatever you want?"



Alma: "Oh, yes. These birds are very bright. I think they're smarter than people. Some people, anyway."



Bree walks over to Alma's house and comes inside.



Alma: "Bree! Come in. I just made some lemonade."



Bree: "This isn't a social call. We need to talk."



Alma: "About what?"



Bree: "About what it's gonna take to get you to sell this house and move."



Alma: "Move? Why?"



Bree: "You're my husband's ex-wife. You disappeared so people would think he killed you.



Does my discomfort really need any further explanation?"



Alma: "I had no idea you felt this way."



Bree: "Oh, please. Orson made it perfectly clear we don't want you here."



Alma: "Okay, now I'm really confused. When Orson came by, all he said was, "Welcome to the street" and did I need help unpacking."



Bree: "That's not true."



Alma: "You know what? I-I think I've said too much. How about that lemonade?"



She pours out a glass of lemonade. A mover comes into the kitchen.



Mover: "Ma'am, where would you like this?"



Alma: "Ooh, uh, upstairs. I'll show you." (to Bree) "Here, drink this. You look a little pale. Be right back."



Bree stands in the kitchen alone, holding onto her lemonade. The bird begins to talk.



Parrot: "Don't tell Bree."



Bree drops the glass of lemonade on the floor.



Parrot: "Don't tell Bree."



Bree walks over to the pantry to find a dustpan. As she steps into the pantry, her heel catches on a small hole in the floor and she realizes that the floor board is loose. She crouches down and pries up the board. Underneath is a picture of Orson and Monique, both looking very happy and content. Next to the picture is a small velvet bag. Bree picks it up and empties the contents into her hand. The contents of the bag are bloody teeth.



Bree (whispering): "Oh, my..."



She hears noises from upstairs and quickly pours the teeth back into the bag, puts the picture back, and replaces the floor board. She stands back up and starts to leave the pantry, where she bumps into Alma.



Alma: "Are you all right?"



Bree: "I'm so sorry. I br--Broke a glass."



Alma: "Don't worry. I'll get it."



Bree: "Well, okay... I have to go."



Alma: "Oh, Bree. Wait. I understand why you might feel a little threatened about my moving in here. But in time, you'll see I'm...I'm perfectly harmless."



Bree leaves.



OUTSIDE GABRIELLE'S HOUSE - NIGHTTIME



Gabrielle is sitting on the front porch when Carlos walks up.



Carlos: "So... how was the mystery date?"



Gabrielle: "Uh, it was fabulous. Thanks for asking."



Carlos: "Oh, come on. I want details. Who is he?"



Gabrielle: "Oh, some global financier, saw me on the cover of Paris Match. Good-looking, just not my type."



Carlos: "Really? 'Cause I always thought that you and Zach would make a really great couple."



Gabrielle: "You son of a bitch. You were there?"



Carlos: "Parked across the street, laughing my ass off."



Gabrielle: "I can't believe you followed me."



Carlos: "I thought you were meeting a psycho killer for lunch. I was worried. Well, at least until they brought out the crayons and children's menus."



Gabrielle: "All right, off my porch."



Carlos: "Okay, but don't forget, you asked me to watch your back."



Gabrielle: "Yeah, about that--Um, I'm installing an alarm system tomorrow, so I'm not gonna need you to look after me anymore."



Carlos: "Gaby, I don't mind."



Gabrielle: "I mind. We're divorced. I can't keep running to you every time I get scared. I want to be the kind of woman who can take care of herself."



Carlos: "Well...good for you. I'm still right down the block, so if you do need me..."



Gabrielle: "I won't. But thank you."



LYNETTE'S HOUSE



Lynette comes down the stairs into the kitchen and sees Tom there pouring himself a glass of wine.



Lynette: "Hey."



Tom: "Hey."



Lynette: "You're home early."



Tom: "I'm celebrating. We got our liquor license today."



Lynette: "Really? That's great!"



Tom: "Yeah, Andrew said he went all over the neighborhood getting signatures."



Lynette: "Good for him."



Tom: "But I think he's lying. I think somebody else got the signatures."



Lynette: "Okay, let's say just for the sake of argument, that someone else did. Someone who clearly loves you very much. What's wrong with that?"



Tom: "Nothing. Nothing. Order has been restored in the universe. You saved the day. I'm a loser."



Lynette: "Aw, come on, Tom."



Tom: "I tried for two months to get that waiver signed. You did it in a day. Like I said…"



He makes the letter "L" with his hand and places it against his forehead.



Lynette: "You can't drown in self-pity just because I helped you with one tiny little thing."



Tom: "Okay, but if I tell you that the plumbing's not up to code, that we have termites and that the chairs won't be there until after we open, can I drown in self-pity then?"



Lynette: "Why haven't you told me about all of this? "



Tom: "Because I wanted to accomplish something on my own. I'm the man. I shouldn't have to run to my wife to bail me out."



She hits him across the head.



Tom: "Ow!"



Lynette: "Gambling with our life savings and not asking for help doesn't make you a man. It makes you an idiot. Come on, Tom, for god sakes, we are a team, and that restaurant is a huge undertaking. No one could do it alone."



Tom: "You don't ask me for help with your ad campaigns."



She hits him again.



Tom: "Ow!"



Lynette: "I don't have to. You're always giving it to me, inspiring me. Remember the mouthwash jingle? You came up with the hook. And--And what about the Bartlett campaign? Would I have ever come up with tango-dancing fleas? All you. There's nothing that I have accomplished That I could have done without your help."



Tom: "Okay, fine. I help. We're a team. Just don't hit me again."



Lynette: "So tomorrow, first thing, we'll fix the plumbing, we'll call an exterminator, we'll rent some chairs and we will open on time, and it'll be a glorious success that you will have achieved with my help, okay?"



Tom: "Okay."



Lynette: "And tonight I'm gonna slap on some sex perfume and you're gonna get naked, and then we're gonna see who the man is."



Tom: "God, I hope it's me."



Lynette: "Oh, I'm sure it will be."



OUTSIDE SUSAN'S HOUSE



Julie walks up the sidewalk to the house. Susan is sitting on the front porch steps.



Julie: "Hey, mom. What are you doing out here?"



Susan holds up the birth control pills.



Julie: "Oh. Okay, here's the thing…"



Susan: "Don't worry, I'm not gonna get mad. Just sit down. You know what upset me the most? That you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth."



Julie: "I tried to. You freaked out."



Susan: "Well, of course I freaked out. I'm a parent. You know, we hope that our children will wait to have sex till after we're dead."



Julie: "And you wonder why I went to Edie."



Susan: "Okay, that's the other thing. That cannot happen anymore. You and I have always had an amazing relationship. Let's not mess it up now."



Julie: "Okay. I'm sorry. Look, I know you think I'm too young, but...Austin and I are in love."



Susan: "Yeah, um...about that...God, I wish there was a pill you could take to protect your heart."



Julie: "What do you mean?"



Susan: "Honey, I was over at Edie's today and I walked in the door and…"



BREE'S HOUSE



Bree is on the phone.



Bree: "Uh, yes, I need to speak to my husband. Yes, there is. Could you please ask him to come home as early as possible tonight? Thank you."



She puts down the phone and looks at her hand, where she's holding the bloody teeth.



Mary Alice: "It's a dangerous world. So we all look for protection."



OUTSIDE SUSAN'S HOUSE



Julie sobs in Susan's arms.



Mary Alice: "And whether we find it in the arms of our mother…"



PRISON



Mike likes in his bed, holding the sharpened toothbrush.



Mary Alice: "…or at the end of a jagged blade…"



LYNETTE'S HOUSE



Lynette leans over Tom, who's lying on the couch, to kiss the top of his head.



Mary Alice: "…or in the kiss of our sweetheart…"



BREE'S HOUSE



Bree reaches into a drawer and removes a gun.



Mary Alice: "…or at the end of a barrel. We do what we have to to feel safe."



Bree looks out her window and sees Alma putting boxes by the curb.



Mary Alice: "Because we know somewhere in the world there are those who would do us harm."



Alma sees Bree watching her and waves to her.



The End

关键字:绝望主妇第三季

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