Do his thinking in prose and wear
A crimsoncravat, a far-away look

And a head of hexameter hair.
Be thin in your thought and your body'll be fat;

If you wear your hair long you needn't your hat.
SUFFRAGE, n. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right

of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means,
as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another

man's choice, and is highly prized. Refusal to do so has the bad name
of "incivism." The incivilian, however, cannot be properly arraigned

for his crime, for there is no legitimate accuser. If the accuser is
himself guilty he has no standing in the court of opinion; if not, he

profits by the crime, for A's abstention from voting gives greater
weight to the vote of B. By femalesuffrage is meant the right of a

woman to vote as some man tells her to. It is based on female
responsibility, which is somewhat limited. The woman most eager to

jump out of her petticoat to assert her rights is first to jump back
into it when threatened with a switching for misusing them.

SYCOPHANT, n. One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he
may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an

editor.
As the lean leech, its victim found, is pleased

To fix itself upon a part diseased
Till, its black hide distended with bad blood,

It drops to die of surfeit in the mud,
So the base sycophant with joy descries

His neighbor's weak spot and his mouth applies,
Gorges and prospers like the leech, although,

Unlike that reptile, he will not let go.
Gelasma, if it paid you to devote

Your talent to the service of a goat,
Showing by forceful logic that its beard

Is more than Aaron's fit to be revered;
If to the task of honoring its smell

Profit had prompted you, and love as well,
The world would benefit at last by you

And wealthy malefactors weep anew --
Your favor for a moment's space denied

And to the nobler object turned aside.
Is't not enough that thrifty millionaires

Who loot in freight and spoliate in fares,
Or, cursed with consciences that bid them fly

To safer villainies of darker dye,
Forswearing robbery and fain, instead,

To steal (they call it "cornering") our bread
May see you groveling their boots to lick

And begging for the favor of a kick?
Still must you follow to the bitter end

Your sycophantic disposition's trend,
And in your eagerness to please the rich

Hunt hungry sinners to their final ditch?
In Morgan's praise you smite the sounding wire,

And sing hosannas to great Havemeyher!
What's Satan done that him you should eschew?

He too is reeking rich -- deducting _you_.
SYLLOGISM, n. A logicalformula consisting of a major and a minor

assumption and an inconsequent. (See LOGIC.)
SYLPH, n. An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when

the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory
smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization. Sylphs were

allied to gnomes, nymphs and salamanders, which dwelt, respectively,
in earth, water and fire, all now insalubrious. Sylphs, like fowls of

the air, were male and female, to no purpose, apparently, for if they
had progeny they must have nested in accessible places, none of the

chicks having ever been seen.
SYMBOL, n. Something that is supposed to typify or stand for

something else. Many symbols are mere "survivals" -- things which
having no longer any utility continue to exist because we have

inherited the tendency to make them; as funereal urns carved on
memorial monuments. They were once real urns holding the ashes of the

dead. We cannot stop making them, but we can give them a name that
conceals our helplessness.

SYMBOLIC, adj. Pertaining to symbols and the use and interpretation
of symbols.

They say 'tis conscience feels compunction;
I hold that that's the stomach's function,

For of the sinner I have noted
That when he's sinned he's somewhat bloated,

Or ill some other ghastly fashion
Within that bowel of compassion.

True, I believe the only sinner
Is he that eats a shabby dinner.

You know how Adam with good reason,
For eating apples out of season,

Was "cursed." But that is all symbolic:
The truth is, Adam had the colic.

G.J.
T

T, the twentieth letter of the English alphabet, was by the Greeks
absurdly called _tau_. In the alphabetwhence ours comes it had the

form of the rude corkscrew of the period, and when it stood alone
(which was more than the Phoenicians could always do) signified

_Tallegal_, translated by the learned Dr. Brownrigg, "tanglefoot."
TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thriftyconcession to the universal

passion for irresponsibility.
Old Paunchinello, freshly wed,

Took Madam P. to table,
And there deliriously fed

As fast as he was able.
"I dote upon good grub," he cried,

Intent upon its throatage.
"Ah, yes," said the neglected bride,

"You're in your _table d'hotage_."
Associated Poets

TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its
natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of

its own. Excepting in its foetal state, Man is without a tail, a
privation of which he attests an hereditary and uneasy consciousness

by the coat-skirt of the male and the train of the female, and by a
marked tendency to ornament that part of his attire where the tail

should be, and indubitably once was. This tendency is most observable
in the female of the species, in whom the ancestral sense is strong

and persistent. The tailed men described by Lord Monboddo are now
generally regarded as a product of an imagination unusually

susceptible to influences generated in the golden age of our pithecan
past.

TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an

impulse without purpose.
TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the

domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.
The Enemy of Human Souls

Sat grieving at the cost of coals;
For Hell had been annexed of late,

And was a sovereign Southern State.
"It were no more than right," said he,

"That I should get my fuel free.
The duty, neither just nor wise,

Compels me to economize --