tribes of Vermont.
LYRE, n. An ancient instrument of torture. The word is now used in a

figurative sense to denote the poeticfaculty, as in the following
fiery lines of our great poet, Ella Wheeler Wilcox:

I sit astride Parnassus with my lyre,
And pick with care the disobedient wire.

That stupidshepherd lolling on his crook
With deaf attention scarcely deigns to look.

I bide my time, and it shall come at length,
When, with a Titan's energy and strength,

I'll grab a fistful of the strings, and O,
The word shall suffer when I let them go!

Farquharson Harris
M

MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a
heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from

dissent.
MACHINATION, n. The method employed by one's opponents in baffling

one's open and honorable efforts to do the right thing.
So plain the advantages of machination

It constitutes a moral obligation,
And honest wolves who think upon't with loathing

Feel bound to don the sheep's deceptive clothing.
So prospers still the diplomatic art,

And Satan bows, with hand upon his heart.
R.S.K.

MACROBIAN, n. One forgotten of the gods and living to a great age.
History is abundantly supplied with examples, from Methuselah to Old

Parr, but some notable instances of longevity are less well known. A
Calabrian peasant named Coloni, born in 1753, lived so long that he

had what he considered a glimpse of the dawn of universal peace.
Scanavius relates that he knew an archbishop who was so old that he

could remember a time when he did not deservehanging. In 1566 a
linen draper of Bristol, England, declared that he had lived five

hundred years, and that in all that time he had never told a lie.
There are instances of longevity (_macrobiosis_) in our own country.

Senator Chauncey Depew is old enough to know better. The editor of
_The American_, a newspaper in New York City, has a memory that goes

back to the time when he was a rascal, but not to the fact. The
President of the United States was born so long ago that many of the

friends of his youth have risen to high political and military
preferment without the assistance of personal merit. The verses

following were written by a macrobian:
When I was young the world was fair

And amiable and sunny.
A brightness was in all the air,

In all the waters, honey.
The jokes were fine and funny,

The statesmen honest in their views,
And in their lives, as well,

And when you heard a bit of news
'Twas true enough to tell.

Men were not ranting, shouting, reeking,
Nor women "generally speaking."

The Summer then was long indeed:
It lasted one whole season!

The sparkling Winter gave no heed
When ordered by Unreason

To bring the early peas on.
Now, where the dickens is the sense

In calling that a year
Which does no more than just commence

Before the end is near?
When I was young the year extended

From month to month until it ended.
I know not why the world has changed

To something dark and dreary,
And everything is now arranged

To make a fellow weary.
The Weather Man -- I fear he

Has much to do with it, for, sure,
The air is not the same:

It chokes you when it is impure,
When pure it makes you lame.

With windows closed you are asthmatic;
Open, neuralgic or sciatic.

Well, I suppose this new regime
Of dun degeneration

Seems eviler than it would seem
To a better observation,

And has for compensation
Some blessings in a deep disguise

Which mortal sight has failed
To pierce, although to angels' eyes

They're visible unveiled.
If Age is such a boon, good land!

He's costumed by a master hand!
Venable Strigg

MAD, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence;
not conforming to standards of thought, speech and action derived by

the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority;
in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad

by officials destitute of evidence that themselves are sane. For
illustration, this present (and illustrious) lexicographer is no

firmer in the faith of his own sanity than is any inmate of any
madhouse in the land; yet for aught he knows to the contrary, instead

of the lofty occupation that seems to him to be engaging his powers he
may really be beating his hands against the window bars of an asylum

and declaring himself Noah Webster, to the innocent delight of many
thoughtless spectators.

MAGDALENE, n. An inhabitant of Magdala. Popularly, a woman found
out. This definition of the word has the authority of ignorance, Mary

of Magdala being another person than the penitent woman mentioned by
St. Luke. It has also the official sanction of the governments of

Great Britain and the United States. In England the word is
pronounced Maudlin, whence maudlin, adjective, unpleasantly

sentimental. With their Maudlin for Magdalene, and their Bedlam for
Bethlehem, the English may justly boast themselves the greatest of

revisers.
MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are

other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet
lexicographer does not name them.

MAGNET, n. Something acted upon by magnetism.
MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet.

The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the
works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the

subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of
human knowledge.

MAGNIFICENT, adj. Having a grandeur or splendor superior to that to
which the spectator is accustomed, as the ears of an ass, to a rabbit,

or the glory of a glowworm, to a maggot.
MAGNITUDE, n. Size. Magnitude being purelyrelative, nothing is

large and nothing small. If everything in the universe were increased
in bulk one thousand diameters nothing would be any larger than it was

before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be
larger than they had been. To an understanding familiar with the

relativity of magnitude and distance the spaces and masses of the
astronomer would be no more impressive than those of the microscopist.

For anything we know to the contrary, the visibleuniverse may be a
small part of an atom, with its component ions, floating in the life-

fluid (luminiferous ether) of some animal. Possibly the wee creatures
peopling the corpuscles of our own blood are overcome with the proper

emotion when contemplating the unthinkable distance from one of these