Whereby my broilers, every one,



Are execrably underdone.

What would they have? -- although I yearn



To do them nicely to a turn,

I can't afford an honest heat.



This tariff makes even devils cheat!

I'm ruined, and my humble trade



All rascals may at will invade:

Beneath my nose the public press



Outdoes me in sulphureousness;

The bar ingeniously applies



To my undoing my own lies;

My medicines the doctors use



(Albeit vainly) to refuse

To me my fair and rightful prey



And keep their own in shape to pay;

The preachers by example teach



What, scorning to perform, I teach;

And statesmen, aping me, all make



More promises than they can break.

Against such competition I



Lift up a disregarded cry.

Since all ignore my just complaint,



By Hokey-Pokey! I'll turn saint!"

Now, the Republicans, who all



Are saints, began at once to bawl

Against _his_ competition; so



There was a devil of a go!

They locked horns with him, tete-a-tete



In acrimonious debate,

Till Democrats, forlorn and lone,



Had hopes of coming by their own.

That evil to avert, in haste



The two belligerents embraced;

But since 'twere wicked to relax



A tittle of the Sacred Tax,

'Twas finally agreed to grant



The bold Insurgent-protestant

A bounty on each soul that fell



Into his ineffectual Hell.

Edam Smith



TECHNICALITY, n. In an English court a man named Home was tried for

slander in having accused his neighbor of murder. His exact words



were: "Sir Thomas Holt hath taken a cleaver and stricken his cook

upon the head, so that one side of the head fell upon one shoulder and



the other side upon the other shoulder." The defendant was acquitted

by instruction of the court, the learned judges holding that the words



did not charge murder, for they did not affirm the death of the cook,

that being only an inference.



TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many

fanciful derivations of the word have been affirmed, but so high an



authority as Father Jape says that it comes from a very obvious

source -- the first words of the ancient Latin hymn _Te Deum



Laudamus_. In this apparently natural derivation there is something

that saddens.



TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally,

sometimes tolerably totally.



TELEPHONE, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the

advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.



TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that

of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us



with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a

bell summoning us to the sacrifice.



TENACITY, n. A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to

the coin of the realm. It attains its highest development in the hand



of authority and is considered a serviceable equipment for a career in

politics. The following illustrative lines were written of a



Californian gentleman in high political preferment, who has passed to

his accounting:



Of such tenacity his grip

That nothing from his hand can slip.



Well-buttered eels you may o'erwhelm

• privilege [´privilidʒ] n.特权 vt.给….特权 (初中英语单词)


• properly [´prɔpəli] ad.适当地；严格地 (初中英语单词)


• guilty [´gilti] a.有罪的；心虚的 (初中英语单词)


• standing [´stændiŋ] n.持续 a.直立的 (初中英语单词)


• female [´fi:meil] a.女(性)的 n.女人 (初中英语单词)


• assert [ə´sə:t] vt.认定；维护；坚持 (初中英语单词)


• victim [´viktim] n.牺牲者；受害者 (初中英语单词)


• talent [´tælənt] n.天才；才干；天资 (初中英语单词)


• wealthy [´welθi] a.富有的；丰富的 (初中英语单词)


• freight [freit] n.运货 vt.运送；充满 (初中英语单词)


• visible [´vizəbəl] a.可见的；明显的 (初中英语单词)


• civilization [,sivilai´zeiʃən] n.文明，文化 (初中英语单词)


• supposed [sə´pəuzd] a.想象的；假定的 (初中英语单词)


• tendency [´tendənsi] n.趋势；倾向 (初中英语单词)


• conscience [´kɔnʃəns] n.良心；道德心 (初中英语单词)


• alphabet [´ælfəbet] n.字母表 (初中英语单词)


• existence [ig´zistəns] n.存在；生存；生活 (初中英语单词)


• ornament [´ɔ:nəmənt] n.装饰(物) vt.装饰 (初中英语单词)


• imagination [i,mædʒi´neiʃən] n.想象(力) (初中英语单词)


• acquire [ə´kwaiə] vt.求得，获得，学得 (初中英语单词)


• commit [kə´mit] vt.犯(罪)；把…判处 (初中英语单词)


• sovereign [´sɔvrin] a.至高无上的 n.君主 (初中英语单词)


• nicely [naisli] ad.恰好地；谨慎地 (初中英语单词)


• humble [´hʌmbəl] a.谦卑的 vt.贬抑 (初中英语单词)


• competition [,kɔmpi´tiʃən] n.比赛；竞争 (初中英语单词)


• wicked [´wikid] a.邪恶的；不道德的 (初中英语单词)


• sacred [´seikrid] a.神圣的；庄严的 (初中英语单词)


• instruction [in´strʌkʃən] n.教育；训练；指导 (初中英语单词)


• charge [tʃɑ:dʒ] v.收费；冲锋 n.费用 (初中英语单词)


• invention [in´venʃən] n.创造；发明；虚构 (初中英语单词)


• device [di´vais] n.装置；器具；策略 (初中英语单词)


• multitude [´mʌltitju:d] n.大群(批)；众多 (初中英语单词)


• equipment [i´kwipmənt] n.装备，设备 (初中英语单词)


• career [kə´riə] n.经历；生涯；职业 (初中英语单词)


• crimson [´krimzən] a.&n.深(紫)红(的) (高中英语单词)


• ballot [´bælət] n.&v.投票；抽签 (高中英语单词)


• suffrage [´sʌfridʒ] n.投票(权)，选举权 (高中英语单词)


• commonly [´kɔmənli] ad.一般地；通常 (高中英语单词)


• refusal [ri´fju:zəl] n.拒绝；优先取舍权 (高中英语单词)


• legitimate [li´dʒitimit] a.合法的 vt.使合法 (高中英语单词)


• limited [´limitid] a.有限(制)的 (高中英语单词)


• greatness [´greitnis] n.巨大；高尚；卓越 (高中英语单词)


• eagerness [´i:gənis] n.渴望；热忱 (高中英语单词)


• formula [´fɔ:mjulə] n.公式；配方；原则 (高中英语单词)


• apparently [ə´pærəntli] ad.显然，表面上地 (高中英语单词)


• ghastly [´gɑ:stli] a.苍白的；可怕的 (高中英语单词)


• shabby [´ʃæbi] a.(衣服)破旧的 (高中英语单词)


• learned [´lə:nid] a.有学问的，博学的 (高中英语单词)


• concession [kən´seʃən] n.让步；租界 (高中英语单词)


• uneasy [ʌn´i:zi] a.不安的；不自在的 (高中英语单词)


• attire [ə´taiə] vt.装饰；穿 n.衣服 (高中英语单词)


• species [´spi:ʃi:z] n.(生物的)种，类 (高中英语单词)


• persistent [pə´sistənt] a.坚持的；固执的 (高中英语单词)


• temptation [temp´teiʃən] n.引诱，诱惑(物) (高中英语单词)


• producer [prə´dju:sə] n.生产者；演出人 (高中英语单词)


• tariff [´tærif] n.价目表；分类关税 (高中英语单词)


• ignore [ig´nɔ:] vt.忽视，不理，不顾 (高中英语单词)


• forlorn [fə´lɔ:n] a.被遗弃的；绝望的 (高中英语单词)


• bounty [´baunti] n.慷慨；恩惠；赠物 (高中英语单词)


• stricken [´strikən] strike的过去分词 (高中英语单词)


• affirm [ə´fə:m] vt.肯定，断言，证实 (高中英语单词)


• disagreeable [,disə´gri:əbl] a.令人不悦的 (高中英语单词)


• plague [pleig] n.瘟疫 vt.使…染疫 (高中英语单词)


• needless [´ni:dləs] a.不必要的；无用的 (高中英语单词)


• petticoat [´petikəut] n.裙子 a.女性的 (英语四级单词)


• reptile [´reptail] n.爬虫 a.爬虫类的 (英语四级单词)


• robbery [´rɔbəri] n.抢劫(案)；盗取 (英语四级单词)


• logical [´lɔdʒikəl] a.逻辑(上)的 (英语四级单词)


• accessible [ək´sesəbəl] a.易接近的；可到达的 (英语四级单词)


• utility [ju:´tiliti] n.有用 a.有各种用途的 (英语四级单词)


• sinner [´sinə] n.罪人 (英语四级单词)


• whence [wens] ad.从何处；从那里 (英语四级单词)


• freshly [´freʃli] ad.新近，刚才 (英语四级单词)


• hereditary [hi´reditəri] a.遗传的；世袭的 (英语四级单词)


• ancestral [æn´sestrəl] a.祖先的；祖传的 (英语四级单词)


• cravat [krə´væt] n.领带；围巾 (英语六级单词)


• thrifty [´θrifti] a.节俭的；兴旺的 (英语六级单词)


• holding [´həuldiŋ] n.保持，固定，存储 (英语六级单词)


• rightful [´raitfəl] a.正义的；合法的 (英语六级单词)


• defendant [di´fendənt] n.&a.被告(人)(的) (英语六级单词)