MORE, adj. The comparative degree of too much.
MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women. As in

Rome Christians were thrown to the lions, so centuries earlier in
Otumwee, the most ancient and famous city of the world, female

heretics were thrown to the mice. Jakak-Zotp, the historian, the only
Otumwump whose writings have descended to us, says that these martyrs

met their death with little dignity and much exertion. He even
attempts to exculpate the mice (such is the malice of bigotry) by

declaring that the unfortunate women perished, some from exhaustion,
some of broken necks from falling over their own feet, and some from

lack of restoratives. The mice, he avers, enjoyed the pleasures of
the chase with composure. But if "Roman history is nine-tenths

lying," we can hardly expect a smaller proportion of that rhetorical
figure in the annals of a people capable of so incrediblecruelty to a

lovely women; for a hard heart has a false tongue.
MOUSQUETAIRE, n. A long glove covering a part of the arm. Worn in

New Jersey. But "mousquetaire" is a might poor way to spell
muskeeter.

MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of
the heart.

MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted
to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.

MULATTO, n. A child of two races, ashamed of both.
MULTITUDE, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In

a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration. "In a multitude
of consellors there is wisdom," saith the proverb. If many men of

equal individual wisdom are wiser than any one of them, it must be
that they acquire the excess of wisdom by the mere act of getting

together. Whence comes it? Obviously from nowhere -- as well say
that a range of mountains is higher than the single mountains

composing it. A multitude is as wise as its wisest member if it obey
him; if not, it is no wiser than its most foolish.

MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern
civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with

an excellent pigment. He is handy, too, in museums in gratifying the
vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower

animals.
By means of the Mummy, mankind, it is said,

Attests to the gods its respect for the dead.
We plunder his tomb, be he sinner or saint,

Distil him for physic and grind him for paint,
Exhibit for money his poor, shrunken frame,

And with levity flock to the scene of the shame.
O, tell me, ye gods, for the use of my rhyme:

For respecting the dead what's the limit of time?
Scopas Brune

MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English
society, the American wife of an English nobleman.

MYRMIDON, n. A follower of Achilles -- particularly when he didn't
lead.

MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its
origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished

from the true accounts which it invents later.
N

NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The
secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe

that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.
Juno drank a cup of nectar,

But the draught did not affect her.
Juno drank a cup of rye --

Then she bad herself good-bye.
J.G.

NEGRO, n. The _piece de resistance_ in the American political
problem. Representing him by the letter n, the Republicans begin to

build their equation thus: "Let n = the white man." This, however,
appears to give an unsatisfactory solution.

NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who
does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of
the party.

NEWTONIAN, adj. Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented
by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but

was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so
far as to be able to say when.

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but
Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

NIRVANA, n. In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable
annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to

understand it.
NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious

to incur social distinction and suffer high life.
NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief

product and authenticating sign of civilization.
NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To

put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting
of the opposition.

NOMINEE, n. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of
private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public

office.
NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.

NONSENSE, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent
dictionary.

NOSE, n. The extreme outpost of the face. From the circumstance that
great conquerors have great noses, Getius, whose writings antedate the

age of humor, calls the nose the organ of quell. It has been observed
that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of

others, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that
the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

There's a man with a Nose,
And wherever he goes

The people run from him and shout:
"No cotton have we

For our ears if so be
He blow that interminous snout!"

So the lawyers applied
For injunction. "Denied,"

Said the Judge: "the defendant prefixion,
Whate'er it portend,

Appears to transcend
The bounds of this court's jurisdiction."

Arpad Singiny
NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The

kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A
Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending

and descending.
NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which

merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is
a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only be a process of

reasoning -- which is a phenomenon. Nevertheless, the discovery and
exposition of noumena offer a rich field for what Lewes calls "the

endless variety and excitement of philosophic thought." Hurrah
(therefore) for the noumenon!

NOVEL, n. A short story padded. A species of compositionbearing the
same relation to literature that the panorama bears to art. As it is

too long to be read at a sitting the impressions made by its
successive parts are successively effaced, as in the panorama. Unity,

totality of effect, is impossible; for besides the few pages last read
all that is carried in mind is the mere plot of what has gone before.

To the romance the novel is what photography is to painting. Its
distinguishing principle, ability" target="_blank" title="n.或有；可能性">probability, corresponds to the literal

actuality of the photograph and puts it distinctly into the category
of reporting; whereas the free wing of the romancer enables him to

mount to such altitudes of imagination as he may be fitted to attain;
and the first three essentials of the literary art are imagination,

imagination and imagination. The art of writing novels, such as it
was, is long dead everywhere except in Russia, where it is new. Peace

to its ashes -- some of which have a large sale.
NOVEMBER, n. The eleventh twelfth of a weariness.

O
OATH, n. In law, a solemnappeal to the Deity, made binding upon the

conscience by a penalty for perjury.
OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from

struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground.
Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet