Phyllis stands to hand the Reverend the sheets. Bree reaches over and grabs them from Phyllis' hand. They all sit down. Bree begins reading the sheets.



Phyllis: "Well, you're hardly going to have to write anything at all, Reverend. Some of those anecdotes are just priceless."



Bree: "Phyllis, these are all things that happened to Rex before he went to college."



Phyllis: "So?"



Bree: "Well, don't you think it'd be nice if Reverend devoted part of the eulogy to his life after he was married?"



Phyllis: "Oh, well, yes, of course. The Reverend will mention that part of his life."



Bree: "He's going to do more than mention it. That's the part he'll focus on. In fact, I think three anecdotes from Rex's childhood is more than enough."



She hands the Reverend several of the sheets.



Reverend: "Um, that, that seems fair."



Phyllis: "Well, whatever you think is appropriate."



Reverend: "Fine."



Phyllis: "I just thought if we were going to focus on a time in Rex's life, that we might as well focus on the happiest time."



Reverend: "Let's talk flowers. Now I know lilies are traditional, but I think I can get you a deal on some white roses."



Bree: "Reverend, if you don't call her on that incredibly insensitive comment, I'm gonna lose it."



Reverend: "I'm sure she didn't mean it the way it sounded."



Phyllis: "I knew exactly what I was saying."



Reverend: "Ladies!"



Bree: "The happiest time in Rex's life was not his childhood. He loved being a husband and he loved being a father."



Phyllis: "He may have loved being a father, but your marriage was a disaster."



Bree: "Phyllis, is there something you'd like to say?"



Phyllis: "You made the last years of Rex's life miserable and now he's dead and he'll never have another chance at happiness."



Bree: "You are no longer invited to the funeral."



Phyllis: "What?"



Reverend: "You're not serious?"



Bree: "Oh, yes, I am. I am going to hire security, and those security men are going to have sticks and if you so much as set foot in that sanctuary, they will be instructed to beat you with those sticks"



Reverend: "Bree, this is your grief talking."



Bree: "Reverend, if you don't back me up on this, so help me, I will pull the funeral out of your church."



Reverend: "Bree!"



Bree: "I am not kidding. I will go nondenominational so fast, it will make your head spin."



Bree smiles at Phyllis and walks out of the room.



Edie's Construction Site



Edie is drinking coffee as Susan approaches.



Edie: "Ugh. [she throws the cup away] Susan! I heard what happened with Zach. How are you doing?"



Susan: "Fine. Is Mike here?"



Edie: "Inside. Jeez. You must have been terrified. I mean, he put poor Felicia in the hospital. Did he pistol whip you?"



Susan: "No."



Edie: "Oh, come on. You can tell me. Did he slap you around?"



Susan: "No."



Edie: "Well, don't get me wrong. I'm, I'm thrilled that you're okay. It's just that when someone holds someone else hostage, they usually rough 'em up a little."



Susan: "It wasn't like that."



Edie: "Oh. Not even a little kicking?"



Susan: "Edie!"



Edie walks toward the house and passes Mike coming out.



Edie: "Someone to see you."



Mike: "Well, hey, how's it goin'?"



Susan: "Good. There's a rumor going around that you don't wanna press charges against Zach. Is that true?"



Mike: "Yeah."



Susan: "Wow. Um, I find that confusing."



Mike: "Look, if we make a big deal out of this, he could end up going to prison."



Susan: "He held a gun to my face, so I'm thinking, good."



Mike: "I've been to prison. He couldn't handle it."



Susan: "Who cares?"



Mike: "I care."



Susan: "Well, you should care more about me. I'm your girlfriend. We're moving in together. He's just a neighbor. You don't even know Zach."



Mike: "I know enough about him to know that deep down, he's a good kid."



Susan: "Mike, he wanted to kill you."



Mike: "But he didn't."



Susan: "You never asked me why Zach wanted to shoot you. Aren't you curious?"



Mike: "Does it matter?"



Susan: "Zach said you kidnapped his father so you could kill him."



Mike: "I didn't kill Paul Young."



Susan: "I didn't think you did. Now tell me why Zach does."



Mike: "I found some evidence that suggested that Paul murdered Deirdre. Sixteen years ago, Deirdre had a baby, and Paul and Mary Alice Young kidnapped him and raised him as their own. Deirdre tracked him down here to Wisteria Lane and demanded her baby back."



Susan: "So Paul killed her?"



Mike: "Actually, it was Mary Alice."



Susan: "Oh, my God."



Edie comes out of the house and hands Mike his cell phone.



Edie: "Mike? I answered your phone. It's the police."



Mike: "Yeah. Delfino. You did? Okay, I can be there in 20 minutes. [he hangs up] Zach's dead. They want me to come identify the body."



Morgue



Mike and Susan approach a covered body.



Officer Romslo: "Thanks for coming down. Since the kid's father is missing, we didn't know who else to call. So, you folks ready?"



Mike nods. A medical examiner lifts the covering over the body. A blond teenager with spiked hair lies on the table. Mike walks away from the table.



Susan: "That's not Zach."



Officer Romslo: "You're sure?"



Susan: "He had a gun in my face for six hours. I know what he looks like."



Susan turns and looks over at Mike.



Susan: "Can you give us a minute?"



Officer Romslo: "Sure."



Susan walks over to Mike.



Susan: "Zach is your son, isn't he?"



Mike: "Yeah. I'm pretty sure."



Susan: "How long have you known?"



Mike: "Paul Young told me. Deirdre got pregnant before I went to jail and, um, told me she had an abortion. Guess she lied."



Susan: "I see."



Mike: "When I took Paul out to the desert, and I was so angry, I just wanted to hurt him the way they hurt Deirdre. But then when he told me that he and Mary Alice had taken care of Deirdre's baby, my baby, that rage just went away. Kept me from doing something really stupid."



Susan: "Wow. I'm gonna take a cab home, okay?"



Susan leaves.



Bree's House



Bree is cleaning the kitchen counter.



Andrew: "Mom, Grandma's leaving, all right? You have to talk to her."



Bree: "No, I don't. If you heard the things that she said to me-"



Andrew: "Look, I'm sure she was a real bitch, okay? But she's family. That makes her our bitch. Let her say good-bye to dad."



Bree: "She went out of her way to be cruel to me. I don't want her at the funeral."



Danielle (crying): "Mom, if you don't let Grandma come, I will never forgive you."



Andrew: "Did I ask for your help? You know dad would want her there."



Bree removes her cleaning gloves and walks into the front hall where Phyllis is standing by her bags.



Bree: "It's true Rex and I did not have the perfect marriage, but for eighteen years I tried my very best, and for that I am entitled to your respect."



Phyllis: "Of course you are. Of course I respect you."



Bree: "Well, then why did you say those things to me?"



Phyllis: "I guess I thought it would be easier to be angry at you than to be angry with Rex. I mean, what was he thinking, leaving me?"



She begins to cry and Bree hugs her.



Bree: "I do want you to come to the funeral."



Phyllis: "Oh, you don't know what that means to me, Bree. Thank you."



She begins walking up the stairs, then stops and turns back to Bree.



Phyllis: "Someone should get my luggage."



Lynette's House



Lynette is in a black suit carrying her briefcase and Penny.



Lynette: "Okay, let's get outta here. Tom?"



Tom: "Yeah?"



She turns and sees Tom lying on the floor.



Lynette: "What's the matter?"



Tom: "My back - I threw it out. I was holding Parker upside down."



Lynette puts Penny into the playpen and grabs Tom's feet.



Lynette: "Okay. Come on. Give me your feet."



Lynette pushes his feet toward his body. A cracking noise is heard and Tom groans.



Lynette: "How's that? Is that better?"



Tom: "Honey, can you push the interview? Because I don't think I'm gonna be able to take care of Penny like this."



Lynette: "Don't do this to me. I don't have time to make a phone call, and I promised that woman I would not let the kids interfere with this job."



Tom: "But that was a stupid promise."



Lynette pushes Tom's legs toward his body again and he grunts.



Lynette: "Remember that time when you were away in Tucson, and I had a 104 fever, but I still managed to take the kids trick-or-treating?"



Tom: "Honey, I don't think that's helping."



Lynette: "Tom, being a mom is like being an E.R. doctor. There are no days off, so get up! Get up!"



Tom: "Okay."



He tries to stand, but can't move.



Lynette: "Jeez, are you crying?"



Tom: "Just a little. I'll be fine. You just go. Just go."



Lynette: "Oh, for god sakes!"



Lynette picks up Penny and the diaper bag.



Tom: "Give 'em hell, honey!"



Lynette: "You!"



Lynette leaves, carrying Penny.



Advertising Agency



Lynette rushes into the office, carrying Penny. A male secretary is at the font desk.



Secretary: "Hi, Mrs. Scavo. You can wait inside. They'll be right in."



Lynette: "Great. Listen, uh..."



Secretary: "Stu."



Lynette: "Stu. You look like a bright, uh, responsible young man, and I bet you just love kids. Am I right?"



Stu stares at Penny.



Nina's Office



Lynette waits in Nina's office. Nina and Ed enter.



Lynette: "Ah."



Nina: "Oh. Ed Ferrara, Lynette Scavo."



Lynette: "Thanks so much for having me in."



Ed: "Nice to meet you. Please, sit."



Lynette: "Thank you."



Ed: "We're gonna have to make this quick. I gotta leave in five to catch a plane. I got Celtic tickets on the floor."



Ed crumples up some paper and tosses it toward a little basketball net over the trash can. He makes the shot.



Ed: "It's a great …? I see you worked with the Donahues. You know, I snaked the Oslo candy account from 'em last year. [He tosses another crumpled paper and the basketball net and makes it.] So you've done a lot of copy work?"



Lynette: "I have. But when I moved over to Cenn and Simmons?



Lynette can see Stu holding Penny up in the air.



Lynette: "I got to do a broader range of campaigns."



She sees Stu lay Penny down on the edge of the desk as he goes over to talk to a pretty young lady.



Lynette: "Um...T... uh, V...and...uh... radio...uh, billboards."



She sees Penny crying.



Lynette: "Could you excuse me for a minute?"



Lynette runs out to the outer office.



Ed: "What's going on?"



Nina: "I have no idea."



Lynette picks up Penny.



Lynette: "Stu, you are an idiot. You're an idiot, an absolute idiot."



She rushes back into Nina's office, carrying Penny.



Lynette: "Hi. Guys, I'd like you to meet Penny. She gives me all my best ideas."



Nina: "You brought your baby to the interview?"



Lynette: "It won't be an ongoing thing."



Nina: "You bet it won't."



Ed: "Nina, it's fine. Any chance we can get that little lady to be quiet?"



Lynette: "Not until I change her diaper. Could you just give me two minutes?"



Ed: "Sorry. Plane."



Lynette: "Well, then watch me multitask."



She throws the diaper bag at Nina and lays Penny on the sofa and continues talking while removing Penny's dirty diaper.



Lynette: "Here's how I see it. You guys run a really good shop, but if you want your agency to go to the next level, you have to focus on two things. First, you've gotta win some awards. Do some P.S.A.s, pro bono stuff, whatever it takes, because whether they admit it or not, clients care about what's in your trophy case. Two, your web site. It's the first thing a client's gonna look at, and it's hard to navigate. There's no site map. It just wasn't built for people who grew up without computers. There. And third, I don't have a third. Yeah, so that's it."



Ed: "Okay, you're in."



Lynette: "Seriously?"



Ed: "Yeah. Take the office across the hall. I gotta run."



Ed leaves the office. Nina looks shocked.



Lynette: "Well, all right!"



Lynette tosses the dirty diaper toward the basketball net. The diaper hits the glass wall above it and falls on the rug.



Lynette: "Okay, obviously, I'm gonna clean that up."



Jail Visiting Room



Gabrielle hands Carlos a piece of paper labeled "DNA Testing."



Gabrielle: "Here it is in black and white. It's your kid. What? Why aren't you smiling?"



Carlos: "It's not enough."



Gabrielle: "What, you want a father's day card?"



Carlos: "You knew the one thing that I demanded was fidelity, and you still went out and screwed around behind my back."



Gabrielle: "You knew the one thing I didn't want was a child, and you still tricked me into getting pregnant!"



Carlos: "It's not the same thing."



Gabrielle: "Damn straight. What you did was worse."



Carlos: "We're not very nice people, are we?"



Gabrielle: "No, we're not."



Carlos: "Oh, when we got married, I thought we were gonna be so happy."



Gabrielle: "Me too. Look on the bright side. At least we're still rich."



Carlos: "Thank god for that."



Mike's House



Mike comes out his door for his newspaper. Susan is sitting there and startles him.



Susan: "So it occurred to me that I was really rude at the morgue. When you told me about Zach, I was so busy freaking out, I never actually congratulated you."



Mike: "Congratulated me?"



Susan: "I know how much you've always wanted a child, and now you have one."



Mike: "Thanks."



Susan: "Obviously, um, it was quite a shock, but it's good news any way you slice it."



Susan stands up and approaches Mike. He can see that she's crying.



Mike: "What's wrong?"



Susan: "So naturally you'll be wanting to have a relationship with him, and that, that takes time, a lot of time."



Mike: "Susan."



Susan: "And out of all the mixed-up teenagers in the world, Zach is just the one kid that I can't be around. I can't have Julie around him. So, um, what I'm trying to say is..."



Mike: "We can't move in together."



Susan: "But I am so happy for you. Really, you have a child, and that is good for you."



Mike: "Isn't there any way?"



Susan: "No. No, I'm so sorry. I'll, I'll, um, I'll see you around."



Susan rushes away as Mike watches her leave.



Church



Betty plays the organ as the Reverend leads the Van De Kamps in. Phyllis looks down at Rex in the open coffin and smiles. Danielle approaches and sees the teddy bear in the coffin with Rex. Andrew looks into the coffin, then walks to his seat. Bree approaches. She looks and sees that Rex is wearing the orange tie. She looks at Phyllis. Bree walks over to the pew and sits down. Betty stops playing the organ.



Reverend: "Today we've come together to celebrate the life of Dr. Rex Van de Kamp."



Bree stares at Rex lying in the coffin.



Bree (to Phyllis): "What is he wearing?"



Phyllis: "What?"



Reverend: "A life filled with love and laughter and most importantly?."



Bree: "I left him an hour ago, and he was wearing Ralph Lauren."



Phyllis: "But it's what Rex would have wanted. He loved that prep school."



Reverend: "But whichever coat he was wearing, Rex always brought an irresistible enthusiasm and a single-minded determination to..."



Later in the service, the Reverend is still talking.



Reverend: "So as we mourn the passing of Rex Van de Kamp, we give thanks to God, for we do not grieve as those who have no hope but as those who place their trust in God."



Bree stares at the coffin. Betty begins playing a hymn. Everyone stands. Two men begin covering Rex in the coffin and lowering the lid. Bree jumps up.



Bree: "Wait!"



The organ stops abruptly.



Bree: "Do not close that coffin."



Bree walks slowly down the aisle of the church, glancing down each pew. She stops at Lynette and Tom.



Bree: "Give me your tie."



Tom: "What?"



Bree: "Give me your tie!"



Lynette: "Give it to her! Give it to her!"



Tom removes his tie quickly and hands it to Bree. Bree walks back to the coffin with it. Everyone stares. Bree uncovers Rex, removes the orange tie, lifts Rex up, and puts Tom's tie on Rex. She lays Rex back down, and ties the tie.



Bree: "You look magnificent."



The Reverend signals at Betty. Betty begins playing and Bree walks out of the church into the sunlight.



Wisteria Lane - Daytime



Susan, Lynette, Bree and Gabrielle are walking home together.



Susan: "So it looks like Mary Alice killed Zach's birth mother in order to keep her from taking Zach away."



Lynette: "Oh, my god. I mean, I knew Mary Alice had killed herself over something big, but wow. Can you imagine living with that guilt?"



Gabrielle: "Isn't it bizarre that Paul and Mary Alice had this secret all those years, and we didn't even know about it?"



Susan: "No, not really. I mean, what do we actually know about our neighbors? I mean, we can tell if they keep their lawns nice or they take their trash cans in, but when they do those things, we stop asking questions 'cause if people are good neighbors..."



Bree: "...we don't really care what happens behind closed doors."



As they walk by the Applewhite house, piano music is heard.



"It had been one year since my suicide"



Lynette: "Makes you wonder, doesn't it?"



"And a lot had changed on Wisteria Lane. There were new flowers, new houses and new neighbors, the kind anyone would want living right next door."



Betty's House



Betty is playing the piano. Matthew enters the room, holding a tray with food on it.



Matthew: "Is that another hymn?"



Betty: "I know. It's silly, but playing those songs today at the funeral just got me in the mood. This is your grandmother's favorite. Did you remember butter?"



Matthew: "I make up this tray every night."



Betty: "Of course you do. I'm sorry. Oh, look you added a flower."



Matthew: "Thought it'd be nice."



Betty: "How'd I get so lucky to have a child like you? You really do try to think about others. That flower is a small act of kindness you thought no one would notice, and yet you did it anyway. Says a lot about how you were raised."



Matthew: "Well, I guess you did your job."



Betty: "I guess so. I'll get the tray. You take the gun."



She hands a revolver to Matthew and picks up the tray. They walk to the basement. Matthew tucks the gun in his back waistband. They go downstairs. Betty steps aside as Matthew unlocks a padlocked door. Betty enters a room and places the tray on a table. She turns the tray around as though facing it toward someone. She walks to the door and looks back at the rose on the tray.



Betty: "It really is a lovely gesture."



She walks out of the room and Matthew relocks the door. A hand reaches for the glass on the tray. A thick leather strap is wrapped around the wrist.



~ The End ~

关键字:绝望主妇第二季

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