Desperate Housewives - Episode 02.07 - Color and Light

Wisteria Lane - Daytime

A young mother takes her daughter out of her van and they walk up to a neighbor's house.

"It is often said that necessity is the mother of invention. This is how mothers came to invent play dates. So occasionally they could have a little time for themselves."

Another young mother answers the door. The little girl enters the house. The first mother begins to walk back to her van.

Mother #1: "If you need me, I'll be at the salon."

"But there are some mothers who don't get to take advantage of this maternalinnovation. Mothers like Lynette Scavo..."

Lynette, pushing Penny in a stroller, flanked by Porter, Preston and Parker come up the street.

"...who was no longer able to rest on weekends..."

Lynette: "Guys, stop it! Stop it, I mean it, come on!"

"...because her twins no longer received play date invitations. Ever since they had convinced Sasha Eden's boy that a pair of magic wings would allow him to fly."

Flashback Sasha Eden is sitting on the grass with her son wrapping his injured ankle. Sasha is looking up angrily at the Scavo balcony where Parker and Preston are looking down at them.

"And they had double dared Sharon Chasin's boy to ride his bike blindfolded."

Flashback Sharon Chasin is tending to an injury on her son's hand. She angrily looks toward the street where the twins are standing by a light pole with a broken bike at their feet.

"And they had encouraged Lisa Seigmann's boy to try an exciting new game called, toss the Brick.'"

Flashback Lisa Siegmann's son is laying on the grass next to a broken brick. Lisa is placing an ice pack on her son's forehead and looks angrily toward the Scavo twins who are standing innocently near a pile of bricks.

"The Scavo twins had become persona-non-grata..."

Present day Lynette is sitting in the park dreamily watching all the other mothers and their kids playing peacefully together.

"...and Lynette's secret dream of being able to take an occasional nap on Saturdays was growing dimmer and dimmer."

Lynette is startled by the sound of her twins yelling. She sees their legs, entangled with other legs behind a fence. She runs toward them and finds another younger set of twins wrestling with her twins.

"Until one day..."

Lynette: "Hey, hey, hey, Porter, Preston, knock it off. All right, did you hear me, I said stop it. Stand up. Stand up! Come here!"

She pulls the kids apart and pulls the other twins toward her.

Lynette: "I'm so sorry. Did my sons beat you up?"

Jimmy/PJ: "No, we were beating them up."

Lynette: "Is that true? Did they beat you up?"

Parker/Preston: "Ah, it didn't hurt that much."

Jimmy and PJ's mother, Norma, comes running up.

Norma: "Jimmy, PJ, what are you doing? What have I told you about ganging up on people?" (to Lynette) "I am so sorry."

Lynette: "Ah, no, it's, it's okay. Believe me, my boys can take care of themselves."

Norma: "If they got hurt at all, I'll pay for the doctor bills."

Lynette: "No, not to worry. I got the feeling they were sort of enjoying themselves."

Norma: "Really?"

Lynette nods yes. Jimmy's mother looks at Parker and Preston.

Norma: "What would you say to bringing your boys over to my house and letting them hang out with mine some time?"

Lynette smiles.

"And that's how Lynette finally got what she needed..."

Lynette's House

Lynette is taking a nap on the couch when the doorbell rings.

"...time for herself, and play dates for her kids."

Lynette goes to the door. Norma is standing there with Parker and Preston. Both boys are banged up and Preston is holding a tissue to his nose.

Norma: "I'm sorry, but my boys decided to have a rock fight with your boys."

Preston: "It was fun!"

"Play dates she was determined to keep..."

Lynette: "Well, they look fine to me."

"...at all costs."

The boys go into the house and Norma turns to leave.

Lynette: "Same time next week?"

Norma: "Okay."

Opening Credits

"Cameras are simple tools designed to capture images. Images that tell us more about ourselves than we realize."

Focus on a photo of Bree, Mary Alice, Gabrielle, Lynette, and Susan.

"They remind us of the long journey we've taken."

Focus on a picture of Susan, Karl, and Julie.

"The loved ones who traveledalongside of us."

Focus on a picture of the entire Scavo family.

"Those we lost along the way."

Focus on the wedding picture of Bree and Rex.

"And those waiting for us on the road ahead."

Gabrielle's House

Focus on a sonogram photo with a coffee cup on top of it. Someone picks up the dish and the photo is revealed to be labeled Gabrielle Solis. Edie, Susan, Bree and Gabrielle are sitting around the table having ice cream.

Edie: "Okay, how am I supposed to eat with a uterus staring me in the face?"

Susan: "Oh, Gabby, I didn't know you got a sonogram. Let me see. Oh!"

Susan wipes the photo with her sleeve.

Bree: "Honey, you need to put that in a frame or something."

Gabrielle: "I don't think so."

Bree: "Oh come on, that's a picture of your baby. You can't tell me you're not a little bit excited."

Gabrielle throws the picture into a drawer.

Gabrielle: "Fine, I'm pregnant. Whee! Now come on, we are supposed to be cheering up Susan. This is a time of crisis and I think you need another scoop of mint chocolate chip."

Susan: "Thanks."

Edie: "Susan. Why are you so eerily calm? Mike Delfino just dumped you. The Susan Mayer I know would be a blubbering mess right now. Oh, come on, trot her on out. She's fun to watch."

Susan: "Actually, I think I'm starting to feel pretty Zen about the whole thing."

Bree: "Well, I think Mike will calm down in a couple of days and come to his senses."

Susan: "No, I came between the man and his son. There's a huge betrayal. I, I can't even blame him for hating me."

Gabrielle: "But Zach was starting to obsess with Julie again."

Bree: "Exactly. You're a mother trying to protect her child. It's a natural impulse."

Susan: "Over the past couple of days, I gave myself a long hard look in the mirror and I did not like what I saw."

Edie: "I'm with you. Carry on."

Susan: "I just think if I start acting like an adult for once, maybe, who knows, somewhere down the line, Mike and I at least can be friends."

Edie: "All right, you're not Zen. You're numb."

Susan: "I'm fine. You got any pie?"

Gabrielle: "Not unless we make some."

Susan: "I can wait."

Lynette's House

Norma and Leonard are dropping off their kids for a play date. Jimmy and PJ run inside.

Tom: "Whoa!"

Norma: "So if you need us, we'll be at home just having a quiet evening."

Sounds of something breaking come from inside the house.

Tom: "Funny, we're expecting quite the opposite."

Leonard: "Well, don't forget, next week it's our turn. We'll taking Porter and...;

Norma: "...Preston...;

Leonard: "...Preston off your hands all weekend."

Lynette: "Rest assured, we have not forgotten. See ya!"

Norma: "Bye."

Lynette: "Don't worry."

Porter and Preston are coming downstairs.

Tom: "Whoa, guys. Whoa, why aren't you upstairs with PJ and Jimmy?"

Preston: "They're watching this dumb video they brought"

Porter: "It's boring."

Lynette: "Well, you should be polite and watch it too. You know they're your guests."

The boys continue going downstairs.

Tom: "Guys!"

Scavo Children's Room

Parker and the twins are watching a video tape.

Lynette: "Hey, guys. We got snacks!"

Leonard (on the TV, wearing boxer shorts): "We're good to go. Okay, ready?"

Norma: (on the TV, wearing a bra and panties) "Okay."

Leonard (on the TV): "All right, hang on now, I'm just getting up."

Lynette: "Guys, what is this?"

Jimmy/PJ: "A movie. Mommy and Daddy made it."

On the TV screen, Norma and Leonard are on the bed, almost naked.

Leonard: "Whoa. What's under there?"

Norma: "Peek a boo! Peek a boo!"

Lynette: "Oh my god! Oh my god, where's the off button?"

Lynette runs to the TV and tried to turn off the tape.

Tom: "It's, it's underneath the panel thing."

Lynette: "Well, it's stuck. Get the remote! Get the remote!"

Lynette blocks the TV and Tom scrambles around for the remote.

Parker: "What's wrong?"

Lynette: "Oh, uh..."

Tom: "I found it."

Tom pushes a button on the remote. The TV turns off.

Lynette: "Oh."

Parker: "So can we have the cocoa now?"

Lynette nods yes and looks toward Tom.

Boutique

Outside the dressing room.

Vern: "Well, what do you think?"

Gabrielle comes out of the dressing room wearing a turquoise blue dress.

Gabrielle: "It is glorious. I have to have it."

Vern: "I'm not sure you deserve Dolce and Gabbana."

Gabrielle: "Vern."

Vern: "You never call, you never write."

Gabrielle: "I know I haven't been to the store lately but I've been a little busy getting my husband out of jail."

Vern: "That's such a white-trash thing to say."

Gabrielle: "Luckily, the judge dropped the hate crime charge. So now all Carlos has to do is serve out the slave labor thing. He'll be out in six months."

Vern: "If he's still in the hoosgow, why do you need the fancy party dress."

Gabrielle: "Because some of my model friends are coming down from New York on Friday so I have to look better than ever. I can't have them thinking I moved to the suburbs and I shop at strip malls."

Vern: "When they see this dress they will crumple to the floor like the Botox tags they are."

Gabrielle: "Good. You know what? It's a little snug."

Vern: "Yeah, I see that. I have the same thing in a zero, why not go up a size?"

Gabrielle: "Because I wear a double zero, you twerp!"

Vern: "Why are you getting snippy?"

Gabrielle: "Because you just called me fat!"

Vern: "Honey, you're pregnant. Your body's changing."

Gabrielle: "But I'm only three months pregnant. Women don't show at three months."

Vern: "Some women do. Do you want the larger size or not?"

Gabrielle: "I'm just not gonna eat for two days."

Vern: "Okay, you totally deserve to wear Dolce and Gabana."

Wisteria Lane - Daytime

Susan approaches Mike's house. She hears Edie yelling and looks over. Edie and Karl are coming out the front door. Edie grabs Karl by the arm.

Edie: "I want an explanation, Karl, do you hear me?"

Karl: "Edie, you just better get the hell off my back, so help me..."

Edie: "Oh. Oh, so what are you gonna do? I'd like to hear this. Big man, big threat."

Karl: "Back off, just back the hell off!"

Edie: "What am I..."

Susan knocks on Mike's door.

Susan: "Hi. Okay, so I got the box on things you left on my porch."

Mike: "Yeah, I figured you'd want your stuff back."

Susan: "Thanks. That's great. 'Cause if you decided to hang on to my Joni Mitchell CDs I'd have to come after you with a club. You're right, it's not funny. Actually, I did want to see if you were aware that you gave me back the Valentine's Day card that I made you."

Mike: "I was aware, yeah."

Susan: "Oh. Well, I mean when two people split up, normally they don't give things back like Valentine's Day cards. If, if, you can throw it away. Just please don't give it back to me, it's tacky."

She hands the card to him and he takes it.

Mike: "I'm sorry."

Susan: "That's okay. People make....;

Mike tosses the card in a trash can by the door.

Susan: "...mistakes."

Mike: "Anything else?"

Susan: "Look, are you sure this is what you want to do? I mean, I understand that you don't want our relationship to continue, you have made that clear. But I sort of thought down the long corridors of time, maybe you and I could be friends, and if you keep acting like this..."

Mike: "Susan, it's over. On every level. Okay, I've, I've moved on. You should do the same."

They both turn as Edie continues to yell at Karl, who has already gotten in his car.

Edie: "You miserable son of a bitch! If I have secrets, I'm a hell of a lot better at keeping them than you are!"

Karl speeds by in his convertible.

Susan: "Well I'll say one thing for us. Even with all our problems we're not acting like that."

Susan turns back toward Mike, who closes the door in her face.

Empty House

George escorts Bree blindfolded into the empty living room.

Bree: "Okay, I'm starting to get the feeling that we are not going to a yard sale."

George: "That was just a clever ruse to get you into my car. Are you ready for your surprise?"

Bree: "Um hmm."

George removes the blindfold. Bree looks all around.

Bree: "Oh. George, this is just, uh, an empty house. Why is this a surprise?"

George: "I just bought it."

Bree: "Oh, my god! Congratulations. Oh George, I didn't even know you were looking."

Two women come out of the door down the hall.

Francine Williams: "Hurry, Ceal, they're here."

Ceal: "Coming. Hey Georgie."

George: "Bree, I'd like you to meet my mother."

Francine: "George never introduces me to anyone. So I knew you were special."

George: "And this is Ceal, my mother's friend and the real estate agent who sold me the house."

Ceal: "Hi."

Bree: "Hi."

Francine: "Well, we're gonna go in the back, so George can, you know."

The ladies leave the room.

George: "So, you really like it?"

Bree: "Uh, I do, I really do."

George: "Good, 'cause, uh, I was sorta hoping that you might like to live here. Bree," (he pulls out a ring) "will you marry me?"

Bree: "Huh?"

George: "I love you and I think I know how you feel about me. So why wait?"

Bree: "George, Rex hasn't even been dead for two months."

George: "Yes, but if his death has taught us anything, it's that life is short. It's dumb to play it safe. If we see a chance for happiness we should grab it and hold on tight."

Bree: "See, I thought we were going to a yard sale."

George: "Please, just say the word and you'll make me the happiest guy on earth."

Francine and Ceal, carrying glasses of champagne, enter the room.

Francine: "Congratulations, you two."

Ceal: "Mazel tov!"

George: "Guys, wait, she hasn't said yes yet."

Francine: "Oh."

Ceal: "I told you we should wait."

The ladies leave again.

George: "So, Bree. What do you say?"

Bree: "See, George, um, the thing is..."

Bree sees Francine and Ceal peeking around the corner.

Bree: "...okay."

George: "You will? You'll marry me?"

Bree: "Okay."

He grabs Bree and hugs her.

Francine: "Oh.. Ah. Oh my baby! Oh."

The three of them hug and Bree grabs a glass of champagne and drinks it all down.

Susan's House - Nighttime

Someone knocks on Susan's door.

Susan: "Who is it?"

Karl: "It's your ex-husband."

Susan: "Oh, Karl. What do you want?"

Susan opens the door and Karl is there with all his suitcases.

Karl: "Uh, Edie and I just broke up."

Susan: "Oh. Well, come on in."

Susan and Karl sit at the dining room table drinking wine.

Karl: "I'm sorry to come over on such short notice. But, I couldn't face going to a hotel."

Susan: "Oh, that's okay. Julie's staying at a friend's tonight. You can sleep in her room."

Karl: "The sofa's fine, thanks."

Susan: "So am I allowed to ask what happened?"

Karl: "You could ask, but I won't tell."

Susan: "Why not?"

Karl: "'Cause it's embarrassing."

Susan: "Karl, did you cheat again?"

Karl: "No."

Susan: "Did she cheat?"

Karl: "No."

Susan: "You finally saw her without her makeup?"

Karl: "Susan."

Susan: "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

Karl: "Yeah. Haven't been working for quite a while. This was inevitable."

Susan: "Well, these days anybody going through a break-up gets my sympathy."

Karl: "That's right. I heard you made the plumber angry."

Susan: "No, I made the plumber furious. That is definitely over. So there will be no gloating from me."

Karl: "Here's to no gloating."

They clink their wine glasses together.

Susan: "Actually, I'm trying to keep a positiveoutlook on the whole thing. Um, last night I started writing and, well, I think there's a book in there."

Karl: "A book?"

Susan: "Yeah."

Karl: "Like one of your children's books?"

Susan: "Nope. This one's for adults about all my failed relationships."

Karl: "You're not writing about me, are you?"

Susan: "You're, like, the first fourteen chapters."

Karl: "Are you gonna be fair?"

Susan: "I'm gonna be honest."

Karl: "I was afraid of that."

Dr. Goldfine's Office

Bree: "It was just awful. George had a ring. His mother and her friend were there with champagne. If I had said no, it would have devasted him."

Dr. Goldfine: "So you agreed to marry him just to be polite?"

Bree: "Well, obviously there's a down side to having good manners."

Dr. Goldfine: "So, when will you tell him how you really feel?"

Bree: "That's why I wanted to talk to you. I mean, part of me just keeps thinking maybe I should just do it."

Dr. Goldfine: "Do it? You mean actually marry him?"

Bree: "Well, I know it sounds rash, but, well, there's something comfortable about George. We share the same tastes and interests. Oh, and best of all, he loves the opera."

Dr. Goldfine: "The opera?"

Bree: "Yes, we saw Aida last week and we both cried buckets. It was fun. George loves art, poetry, and music. It would be nice to be married to someone who looks for beauty in the world like I do. I don't know. That's why I'm here. I don't know what to do, Dr. Goldfine."

Dr. Goldfine: "Bree, you've said many times how comfortable you are with George, but you don't feel for him the way you felt for Rex."

Bree: "No. True love is great, but at this point in my life, I think I'd rather just go to the opera."

Susan's House

Susan and Karl are still drinking at the dining room table. Both appear a little bit drunk.

Karl: "You need another glass. Let's finish this off..."

Susan: "Oh no, no wait, no wait, no wait. Four glasses is my limit."

Karl: "If you help me finish off this bottle, I'll tell you what happened between me and Edie."

Susan: "Hit me."

Karl: "Edie was making the bed and found a picture I kept under the mattress. A picture I didn't want her to see."

Susan: "What was it?"

Karl: "It was a picture of you."

Susan: "Why would you...?"

Karl: "Because it's something I like to take a look at every now and then."

Susan: "Wow."

Karl leans over and kisses Susan.

Susan (laughing): "What the hell was that?"

Karl: "That was something I've been wanting to do for quite some time."

Susan: "Oh, that's just you rebounding from Edie."

Karl: "So, you're on the rebound from the plumber. No harm, no foul."

Susan: "Karl. It'd be so weird."

Karl: "Just two old friend who suddenly find themselves single. There's nothing weird about us helping each other out to be a little less lonely."

Lynette's House - Daytime

Norma arrives to pick up her twins.

Norma: "Thanks so much for taking care of the boys. I'll be back on Friday to pick your guys up. Leonard and I are gonna take them all to the water park."

Lynette: "Yeah, um, before that happens..."

Norma: "And we're gonna be able to take Penny soon, aren't we? She's getting so big. Peekaboo, peekaboo, peekaboo."

Lynette: "Yeah, okay, enough of that."

Norma: "Is there something wrong?"

Lynette: "Actually, yes. We've agonized whether to tell you this, Norma, but one of your private videos made its way into Jimmy and P.J.'s bag."

Norma: "Please tell me the kids didn't see it."

Tom: "Oh, no, don't worry. I caught it, I caught it right before you took off your bra."

Norma: "I have to go."

Lynette: "Oh, Norma. Norma, we just thought you needed to know what happened."

Tom: "Seriously, we're, we're cool with it so long as you keep it away from the kids."

Norma: "I told Leonard this was gonna happen!"

Norma runs to her car and gets in quickly.

Norma: "Jimmy, P.J., close the door! Are we all buckled up?"

She speeds away and Lynette shouts after the car.