Pat: "Excuse me. Ed's waiting for you guys."



Lynette: "Great! Great!"



Tom: "Just let my résumé speak for itself."



Lynette: "Uh, just let your résumé speak for itself?"



Tom: "Yeah."



Lynette: "Okay!"



Later, Ed, Tom, and Lynette are in Ed's office.



Ed: "Oh! You worked the Poncer Cheese accounts? Those angry mouse spots? They were hilarious!"



Tom: "I was on that from the beginning. "



Ed (imitating a mouse): "'Warning, do not eat the cheese! The cheese is evil!' I love that! You've got a great résumé."



Tom: "Thank you."



Lynette: "Yeah, gosh, it is. It's quite impressive. Oh wow, I see you worked for Bellfore and Barrasso. That's a great shop."



Tom: "Yeah, I put my time in."



Lynette: "Uh-huh, and when were you there? Because you forgot to list your dates of employment for that one."



Tom: "Um, that was a few years back."



Lynette: "Uh-huh. And how long did you stay?"



Tom: "Just about five months, actually."



Lynette: "What, did you get recruited by another firm? Did somebody cherry-pick ya?"



Tom: "No, I was fired."



Lynette: "Oh."



Tom: "Yeah, but honestly, I was happy to leave because they didn't get my sense of humor. I actually pitched a version of the cheese is evil there first. They hated it."



Ed: "Idiots! Well, their loss, right?"



Tom: "Yep."



Ed: "And I see you won a Clio for the Thompson's Salad Dressing spot. That was very cool."



Lynette: "So did you do that solo?"



Tom: "Actually, no. My wife helped me on that one. Um, she's in advertising, too. But if you were to ask her, I'm sure she'd tell you she did the whole thing all by herself."



Ed: "Credit hog, huh? I know the type. You know what, Tom? I like you."



Lynette: "Ed."



Ed: "And I'm not usually one for hiring in the room."



Lynette: "No, no, no, no, no, we never hire in the room."



Ed: "But we're in a time crunch, and we need someone now. I think you're the guy. Lynette, you got any issues?"



Lynette: "Well, um, let me just call in a few references before we make anything official."



Ed: "Sure! Sure! We'll be in touch, okay? 'The cheese is evil!' Oh, god, I love that."



Church



Gabrielle enters and speaks to a Priest.



Gabrielle: "Oh, um, I'm looking for Father Crowley. Do you know where he is?"



Priest: "Um, he's in the confessional."



Gabrielle enters the confessional.



Father Crowley: "How long has it been since your last confession?"



Gabrielle: "Who cares? Father, it's me."



Father Crowley: "Gabrielle?"



Gabrielle: "Yeah. Look, I need you to do something for me. I need you to get rid of Sister Mary Bernard."



Father Crowley: "What? Why?"



Gabrielle: "Because she's ruining my marriage."



Father Crowley: "Sister Mary?"



Gabrielle: "Yes! At first it started with the love letters while he was in prison, and the next thing I know, they're spending day and night together, sneaking off to private bible study, and, and one-on-one spiritual consultation."



Father Crowley: "Gabrielle-"



Gabrielle: "And if that wasn't enough, he is saying her name in his sleep. 'Hold me, Sister Mary, hold me? It's disgusting. He's like a lovesick puppy."



Father Crowley: "Do you have reason to believe that your husband and Sister Mary are having sex? Speak from the heart, Gabrielle. This is just between me, you, and God."



Gabrielle: "Yeah. Yep. They're having sex. Carlos confessed everything right before he asked for an annulment."



Father Crowley leaves the confessional. Gabrielle steps out, just as another priest passes her and enters the confessional Father Crowley just left. Gabrielle goes back into the confessional.



Gabrielle: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."



Priest: "How long since your last confession?"



Gabrielle: "Mm, not that long ago. Look, I sorta told a fib, so how many ail Marys? is that gonna set me back?"



Bree's House



Danielle is lying on her bed, crying, when Bree walks in.



Danielle: "Go away!"



Bree: "Oh, honey, what happened wasn't my fault. There's no way I could've predicted how Betty would react."



Danielle: "Oh, please, you knew something bad would happen. You wanted all this to blow up in my face."



Bree: "Oh, honey, why would I want that?"



Danielle: "Because you're jealous that my life's just getting started and yours is over."



Bree: "Danielle, that's ridiculous, sweetheart."



Danielle: "Daddy's dead. You drove your boyfriend to suicide. You're getting older by the minute, and soon you'll be so dried up and bitter that no man will ever want to touch you ever again."



Bree: "Danielle!"



Danielle: "And now you're determined to ruin my life so I have to stay with you here and keep you company while you turn into an old fossil."



Bree: "All I ever wanted was for you to be happy."



Danielle: "Don't just want it. Make it happen."



Bree slowly leaves, then comes back in a few seconds later.



Bree: "Danielle, I don't feel much like cooking tonight. I'm, I'm thinking of ordering a pizza."



Danielle: "I want Canadian bacon. Please."



Bree: "All right."



Betty's House



Matthew comes in, looks at Betty, and goes upstairs.



Caleb: "He's mad at you 'cause you hit him."



Betty: "Well, I feel bad about that. But when I consider the risks he was taking..."



Caleb: "It's a shame he can't see that girl. She's so pretty."



Betty: "What did you say about Danielle?"



Caleb: "I said that she..."



Betty: "You know I don't want you thinking about things like that."



Caleb: "I'm sorry. I didn't. I'm sorry."



Betty: "It's okay. It's okay. Go on and run up to your room. Read the comics I got you. And, Caleb? If I ever catch you looking at that Van De Kamp girl, I'll hit you twice as hard as I hit your brother, and I won't feel bad about it. Okay?"



Caleb: "Okay."



Susan's House - Nighttime



Susan and Dr. Ron are having dinner. Susan watches as Dr. Ron tries cutting the meat on his plate.



Susan: "So this whole splenectomy thing, you feel good about it, huh?"



Dr. Ron: "Yeah, yeah, I told you. It's a routinesurgery. You're gonna be fine."



Susan: "Right, right. Actually, I sort of meant, um, do you personally feel confident?"



Dr. Ron: "What do you mean?"



Susan: "Well, you know, you're gonna be hacking into me, and I just wanted to make sure that you feel ready."



Dr. Ron: "I've never taken out a spleen before. But believe me, it's no big deal. Spleen, gallbladder, it's all the same."



Susan: "Okay, red flag! See, I didn't go to medical school, but I'm thinking, not all the same."



Dr. Ron: "Susan, I know what I'm doing. You're gonna have to trust me. Okay?"



Susan: "I would like to. But I gotta be honest, the fact that you can't even cut that steak isn't helping."



Dr. Ron: "That's not fair. You overcooked it, and, frankly, it's not the freshest meat."



Susan: "Well, neither am I. I've got thirty-five years on that cow."



Dr. Ron: "Wait, Susan, are you saying you don't want me to be your surgeon?"



Susan: "I'm sorry. I don't mean this to sound the wrong way. I just, I would be more comfortable with an experiencedsurgeon."



Dr. Ron: "That's okay. I understand."



Susan: "Thank you."



Dr. Ron: "I should really be going."



Susan: "What? I didn't even serve dessert yet. You said you understood!"



Dr. Ron: "No, I do, I do. I respect your decision to see another doctor, but you know what? You need to respect that my feelings are hurt."



Susan: "What? You want me to put my life on the line to service your ego?"



Dr. Ron: "I save lives every day. I cut. I save. I cut. I save. That's what I do, and if that gives me an out-of-control ego, well, maybe I need that to cut into another human being."



Lynette's House - Nighttime



Tom is sitting at the table, reading the paper. Lynette comes home.



Lynette: "Hey."



Tom: "Hey. Dinner's ready."



He points to a covered dinner plate on the table.



Lynette: "Oh."



Tom: "So did you call around? Check on my references?"



Lynette: "I told Ed you were my husband, and he was cool with that. He really wants to hire you. So, who am I to stand in the way?"



Tom: "Really? So I got the job?"



Lynette: "On one condition. If you take this job, you are never allowed to bring up what happened before with your promotion."



Tom: "That's it? Deal."



Lynette: "No, it's not a deal. I need a solemn vow that you will never throw that in my face ever again. Because if you do, you will unleash demons that you do not wanna meet."



Tom: "I get it."



Lynette: "And what I really need from you is to be forgiven."



Tom: "Actually, I already had."



Lynette uncovers her plate and Tom pours her some wine.



Lynette: "This dinner is really good."



Tom: "Thank you."



He leans over and kisses Lynette, who has tears in her eyes.



Tom: "Thank you."



Betty's House - Daytime



In the second-story bedroom, Caleb is tearing the paper off of the window. He sees Bree approaching his mother in the front yard.



Bree: "Hi, Betty."



Betty: "Hello."



Bree: "I wanted to talk to you about what happened the other day with the kids."



Betty: "I told you, we will be moving soon. There's nothing to worry about."



Bree: "Well, my fear is that if we keep them apart, they'll try that much harder to be together. I mean, you know how teenagers can be, and, well, a lot can happen in a couple of weeks."



Betty: "I'll make a deal with you. If you control yours, I will control mine."



Bree: "How about some old-fashioned chaperoning? That way they can, um, still see each other, and we won't have to be the villains."



Bree looks up to the second floor and sees Caleb standing in the window.



Betty: "When it comes to my son's best interests, I'm not afraid of being the villain. I assumed that you would feel the same way, Bree."



Bree: "Now that you mention it, I guess I do. I have to go. I have some, um, muffins in the oven."



Bree hurries off.



Bree's House - Daytime



Bree is going through her recycling stack of old newspapers. She finds the one with Caleb's picture on the front, takes it into the house, and picks up the phone.



Danielle: "Mom, what's wrong?"



Bree: "It's the Applewhites. I don't want you to go near them."



Danielle: "What?"



Bree: "Do you remember the man they arrested, the one that broke into Gabrielle's and escaped from the mental hospital? He's there. I saw him in their window. They're hiding him."



Danielle: "You're kidding."



Bree: "No, I'm not. And I forbid you to go over there."



She speaks into the phone.



Bree: "Lynette, hi, it's Bree. Uh, listen, call me when you get this message, and please come to poker tonight. I have some big news about the Applewhites."



Gabrielle's House - Daytime



Carlos is on the phone.



Carlos: "All right. Bye."



Gabrielle: "Who was that?"



Carlos: "Sister Mary. They just transferred her to a parish in Fairbanks, Alaska."



Gabrielle: "You're kidding me. Why?"



Carlos: "She doesn't know. The diocese wouldn't even give her a reason."



Gabrielle: "Ah, Vatican politics. What's wrong?"



Gabrielle sees the annulment pamphlet sticking out of Carlos? bible. She pulls it out.



Carlos: "I think I'm just coming down with a migraine."



Gabrielle: "Oh, well, maybe you should go lie down. I'm gonna be out for a while."



Carlos: "All right."



Hospital



Susan is sitting in the waiting room. Dr. Ron and another doctor are approaching. Dr. Ron sees Susan.



Dr. Ron (to the other doctor): "I'll see you there. "



Dr. Ron enters the waiting room.



Dr. Ron: "Susan? What are you doing here?"



Susan: "We need to talk."



Dr. Ron: "Okay, all right, but, look, I just got out of surgery."



Susan: "I've been waiting for three hours. After you stormed out the other night, I started to doubt myself. I started to think, see, you know, maybe I should just ignore my better instincts, and I should let Dr. Ron gut me like a fish.'"



Dr. Ron: "Susan."



Susan: "I mean, why not? 'Cause all my life I have jumped through hoops to keep men from leaving. But I'm not doing it anymore. So, tough luck, pally. You just missed out on a good thing."



She snaps her fingers in front of his face.



Dr. Ron: "Susan. You've been here for three hours?"



Susan: "Yeah."



Dr. Ron: "Well, two hours ago, flowers, champagne, and an apology note were delivered to your doorstep."



Susan: "Really?"



Dr. Ron: "Look, I put our relationship at risk, all right? And it was stupid. I haven't felt this way about somebody in a long time. Susan, I really like you. And because of that, I, I can't be your doctor, let alone your surgeon. I mean, there's a pretty good reason why they make those rules. Listen, I hope you forgive me, all right? Because I'll hate myself if I lose you."



Susan: "Wow. I wouldn't want you to hate yourself."



Dr. Ron: "No."



Susan: "And I am so sorry about that snap thing. I was just trying to be theatrical."



Wisteria Lane Park - Daytime



Matthew: "I got your note. What's going on?"



Danielle: "Are you hiding someone in your house?"



Matthew: "What?"



Danielle: "My mom saw someone in your second story window. She thinks it's the guy who broke into Mrs. Solis'."



Matthew: "Damn it, Caleb."



Danielle: "Is that his name?"



Matthew: "Has she told anybody else?"



Danielle: "She left messages on her friends' machines. They're coming over soon to get details."



Matthew: "We're gonna have to leave tonight. This is..."



Danielle: "Why? What's going on?"



Matthew: "I would love to tell you, believe me, I would. But I can't."



Danielle: "If you trust me, I could help you. My family has secrets, too."



Matthew: "What my brother did, it's bad."



Danielle: "Last year my brother did something really awful, and my parents covered it up for him. If anyone were to ever find out, Andrew and my mom could go to jail. So you don't have to worry about me judging you. Tell me your secrets. I'll understand."



Matthew: "Okay. But you tell me yours first."



Church



Sister Mary is scrubbing the floors on her hands and knees when Gabrielle walks in.



Sister Mary: "What are you doing here?"



Gabrielle: "I heard you were being transferred so I came to say good-bye."



Sister Mary: "Come to gloat is more like it."



Gabrielle: "No, we've had our differences, but that doesn't mean I'm happy to see you shipped off to Alaska. Brr."



Sister Mary: "You had something to do with this, didn't you?"



Gabrielle: "Me? Oh, I'm just a humble sinner. You're the one with all the power around here, all the annulment major."



Sister Mary stands up and removes her apron.



Sister Mary: "Is that why you did it? Well, getting rid of me isn't gonna change anything. Carlos will do what he wants. The problems in your marriage aren't going away."



Gabrielle: "Maybe not, but you certainly are. You missed a spot."



Gabrielle begins to walk away from Sister Mary. Sister Mary throws the brush in her hand and hits Gabrielle on the back of the head.



Gabrielle: "Ah! Oh. That was a mistake."



Gabrielle walks back and slaps Sister Mary's face.



Gabrielle: "There. I think we're all done here."



Gabrielle starts to walk away. Sister Mary grabs her by the hair and pulls her back and starts spinning her around. Another nun and some children enter the church. Sister Mary starts to choke Gabrielle. Gabrielle reaches behind her and hits Sister Mary with her purse. The other nun runs out for help. Sister Mary and Gabrielle release each other, then charge at each other. Gabrielle pushes Sister Mary to the table with all the lit candles. Sister Mary's sleeve catches fire. Sister Mary screams.



Gabrielle: "Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Hold on!"



Gabrielle runs, pulls down a "Jesus Saves" banner and wraps it around Sister Mary. She pushes Sister Mary to the floor and tries to pat out the flames. The flames are out.



Gabrielle: "Are you okay?"



Gabrielle tries to help Sister Mary up and Sister Mary bites her on the arm. Gabrielle screams and they roll around on the floor in front of the children. A priest enters the room and begins pulling them apart.



Priest: "Stop fighting now! Stop fighting! Ladies! No!"



Outside Gabrielle's House - Daytime



Gabrielle pulls in. Carlos comes outside. Gabrielle is in total disarray.



Carlos: "What the hell were you thinking?"



Gabrielle: "Uh, depends. What have you heard?"



Carlos: "I got a call from the church. They said you attacked Sister Mary!"



Gabrielle: "Yeah, that's about right."



Carlos: "What are you thinking?"



Gabrielle: "I wasn't, but I was thinking about it on the way over here. And I realized the ass I should be kicking is yours."



Carlos: "Mine?"



Gabrielle: "Yes! Sister Mary manipulated you into threatening me, but you're the idiot that fell for it."



Carlos: "I was not threatening you. I was asking for a promise."



Gabrielle: "You made me a promise, Carlos, a long time ago: till death do us part. And one day you just come home and start throwing words around like annulment. How do you think that makes me feel?"



Carlos: "Okay, I'm sorry about that. I need to have a child."



Gabrielle: "And I need to know I'm the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, not just some uterus in high heels."



Carlos: "Gabrielle, please."



Gabrielle: "No, Carlos, I am sorry. I am not gonna be blackmailed into giving birth. You have to choose. And I wish you would do it so I can move on with my life."



Carlos: "Well, of course I choose you."



Gabrielle: "I think that's the right decision. You know, I made a decision, too. The answer to your question earlier is yes."



Carlos: "Yes..."



Gabrielle: "I wanna have a baby. I wanna have a baby with you."



Bree's House - Nighttime



Bree is preparing for her poker game. The doorbell rings.



Bree: "Betty. What a surprise."



Betty: "Can I talk to you for a moment?"



Bree: "Uh, now is actually not a good time for me."



Betty: "I think it is. I wanted to chat with you before you did something foolish."



Bree: "I don't know what you mean."



Betty: "The person you saw at my house today is my other son. His name is Caleb. He didn't harm Gabrielle, and he didn't hurt the man in the car trunk. That's all you need to know."



Bree: "He's your son?"



Betty: "He's my dear son who happens to be slow. Sometimes he makes mistakes."



Bree: "But, Betty, the police are looking for him. He escaped from that facility they sent him to."



Betty: "He had help, trust me. I've always thought the maternal instinct is one of nature's most amazing gifts. I mean, the length that some mothers will go to to protect their children, it drives ordinary women to do extraordinary things. Women like me, Bree, and like you."



Bree: "What are you talking about?"



Betty: "If you breathe one word of Caleb's existence to anyone, I will tell Carlos, Gabrielle, and the police that it was your son driving the car that killed Juanita Solis and that you have been covering up his crime ever since. We're gonna be great friends, Bree. We have so much in common."



Outside Bree's House - Nighttime



Edie, Gabrielle, Susan and Lynette are approaching Bree's house.



Gabrielle: "So is that all she said?"



Lynette: "Yeah, something about the Applewhites. I'm dying of curiosity."



They ring the doorbell. Bree, inside, seems in shock after her conversation with Betty.



Betty: "It's rude to keep people waiting."



Bree answers the door.



Bree: "Hi. Come on in."



Edie: "So, spill it. What's the scoop on the Applewhites?"



Bree: "Um, about that, um..."



Gabrielle: "Oh, Bree, come on, dish already!"



Bree: "Well, perhaps I got more excited than I should have, but I recently found out that Betty Applewhite is quite the poker player, and so, I have, uh, invited her to join our weekly game."



Betty comes out of the kitchen holding a food platter.



Betty: "Hello, everybody. I hope you brought your checkbooks because I am feeling lucky."



Later, the women sit around the poker table, holding their cards.



"Everyone understands the nature of war."



Betty: "I raise."



"We also understand that victory depends on the cards that we have been dealt."



Susan folds, Gabrielle folds, Lynette folds, and finally Edie folds.



"Some, when faced with a bloody battle, simply give in."



Betty and Bree look at each other from across the table.



"But for some, surrender is unacceptable."



Betty: "Well, Bree, what are you gonna do?"



"Even though they know it will be a fight..."



Bree: "I'll raise you."



"...to the death."



~ The End ~

关键字:绝望主妇第二季

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