Edie comes out the front door.



Edie: "Hey, guys. Whatcha doing out here?"



Susan: "Uh, just talking."



Edie: "Oh, well, come on in. I've got something to show you."



Susan: "Oh, no, that's okay."



Edie: "Come on! You'll love this."



Edie goes back inside and Karl and Susan follow a few steps behind.



Susan: "Wait until I leave to tell her, 'cause she's gonna kill me."



They walk into Edie's living room. Dr. Ron is sitting there.



Susan: "Well, I should go."



She turns to leave and Karl stops her.



Edie: "I'm not gonna scream or cry or pound your faces in with a mallet, which, Lord knows, is my right. But what I will say is that you two are the most reprehensible excuses for human beings that I have ever met!" (to Dr. Ron) "Do you have anything to add?"



Dr. Ron picks up a vase, empties it and hands the vase to Edie.



Edie: "Right. What the hell!"



Edie throws the vase and Karl and Susan duck. The vase crashes against the stairs. Karl grabs Susan's arm and pulls her out of the house.



Wisteria Lane - Daytime



Andrew is shooting baskets in his driveway. Lynette drives up in a brand new SUV. Andrew goes over to Lynette's driveway.



Andrew: "Hey, Mrs. Scavo. That's a sweet ride."



Lynette: "Yeah, you think so? Why don't you come over here for a second? I'd like to pick your brain. You're the demographic that my client is interested in so you'd actually be doing me a favor if you drove it around for a couple hours and told me what you thought. Do you mind?"



Andrew: "Are you kidding me?"



Lynette: "I can't believe you are old enough to drive. I still remember when you were ten years old. I paid you a dollar to rake our leaves."



Andrew: "Yeah. Yeah, you were pretty cheap. Is this set up for mp3?"



Lynette: "Uh, all the bells and whistles. But listen, I really wanted to tell you how sorry I am."



Andrew: "Hmm?"



Lynette: "Your lawyer came to see me. I'm going to be deposed. It's going to be hard for me..."



She gestures at the Van de Kamp house.



Andrew: "Yeah. Yeah, I know. You just have to remember she's a different person when she drinks."



Lynette: "She must be. It's hard for me to imagine the Bree I know capable of hurting you."



Andrew: "Yeah. Do you have the keys?"



Lynette: "Oh. Sure. Anyway, I just I feel so guilty that this all went on in your house, right under our nose. So if there is anything I can do to help you..."



Andrew: "Well, can you get a discount on these?"



Lynette: "Um, actually, yeah. One of the perks. Even so, it's a little out of the price range of a high school student."



Andrew: "Well, if you tell my lawyer the truth, I don't think money's gonna be a problem."



Susan's House



Edie and Karl are at the front door.



Susan: "Hi. What's going on?"



Edie walks in, past Susan, without saying a word.



Karl: "Edie wants to discuss our little deception."



Susan: "Exactly how ugly is this gonna get?"



Edie (from the other room): "How long does it take to shut a door?"



Susan's Living Room



Susan and Karl sit next to each other on the couch while Edie paces in front of them.



Edie: "I can forgive your trickery. I can forgive the humiliation. But what I can't forgive is the complete and utter lack of faith in me! I mean, having Susan get married for insurance was my idea! Okay, so if I'd known that everything had gotten all screwed up, of course I would've agreed."



Karl: "Look, Edie, in retrospect, yes, we didn't think. We didn't handle this the way mature adults should have."



Susan: "He's right. We behaved like children. Naughty, stupid children."



Edie: "Well, that makes me feel better that you could admit that, because when naughty children misbehave, they know that they're gonna get punished. Don't they?"



Karl: "Punished?"



Susan: "At this point, I'd like to point out that, uh, it was Karl who proposed."



Edie: "Karl. You are gonna throw me an elaborate wedding."



Karl: "Yes, of course, anything, baby. How elaborate?"



Edie: "Well, figure out exactly what it is that you could afford, and triple it." (to Susan) "As for you…;



Susan: "Okay, now remember, I'm broke."



Edie: "I'm well aware of your church mouse status. I don't intend to lift a finger during the planning and execution of this crushingly expensive wedding."



Susan: "No. No, of course not. And anything I can do to help, uh, you know, I would, I could help with the engagement party. How's that?"



Edie: "Well, I wasn't planning on inviting you. But, I will need a bartender. Oh, oh, and, um, make sure you come in through the back door."



Conference Room



Mr. Bormanis, Andrew, Lynette, and a stenographer are sitting when Bree walks in.



Mr. Bormanis: "You're just in time. Mrs. Scavo has been sworn in so we're all ready to start."



Lynette: "Hey."



Mr. Bormanis: "All right, we are now on the record."



Lynette: "Okay."



Mr. Bormanis: "Isn't it true that while your children were in Bree's care that she passed out drunk and allowed them to wander off to a downtown business district?"



Lynette: "My kids don't wander. They scurry, like rats."



Mr. Bormanis: "Excuse me?"



Lynette: "Do you know a rat can fit through a hole the size of a quarter? Anyway, my children have that trick down, too."



Mr. Bormanis: "Mrs. Scavo, are you saying that you don't hold Mrs. Van de Kamp responsible for endangering your children?"



Lynette: "No, I don't hold her responsible. Bree Van de Kamp and I have known each other a long time. I trust her completely. She's a wonderful friend and a fantastic mother. She puts the rest of us to shame."



Andrew: "She's lying! Are you gonna let her get away with this crap?"



Mr. Bormanis: "Please. Do you consider Mrs. Van de Kamp to have a drinking problem?"



Lynette: "No."



Mr. Bormanis: "Then why did you line empty wine bottles up on her front stoop?"



Lynette: "I was helping Bree with her recycling."



Mr. Bormanis: "Do I need to remind you of the potential consequences of perjury?"



Lynette: "No, you don't. In fact, I hate liars."



She looks at Andrew.



Outside Peter's House - Daytime



Peter is getting out of his car when his cell phone rings.



Peter: "Hello?"



Bree's Kitchen



Bree: "Peter. Hi, it's Bree."



Peter: "Hey, Bree. You know, um, if you feel like you're gonna need a drink, you should call Donna."



Bree: "No! No, I, I don't feel like I'm gonna drink. And if I did, I certainly would call Donna. I mean, she and I are just, we're just really clicking."



Peter: "Oh, that's good. So why are you calling?"



Bree: "I know it's really late notice, but a friend of mine, uh, got engaged and she's throwing a party, and I thought, um, maybe you'd like to come."



Peter: "Bree..."



Bree: "Well, you're not my sponsor anymore, so I assume this is allowable. I mean, it's just a casual get-together. And they're having sushi. You do like sushi, don't you?"



Peter: "Bree..."



Bree: "Okay, Peter, I just really need us to be friends. When I'm with you, I'm not myself, which is a good thing. I can, I can relax when I'm with you in a way that I can't when I'm with other people. With them, I have to pretend that I have it all together but, you know that I don't, so it's just so much easier. Come on, it's just a, it's just a dumb old party."



Peter: "Bree, do not call me again."



Edie's House



Paul walks in with a gift.



Edie: "Paul! I am so glad you made it."



Paul: "I appreciate the invitation, Edie. Although, frankly, I'm a little surprised to get it, considering how people in this neighborhood feel about me."



Edie: "Oh. You know me. I like to be inclusive. Ooh! It's heavy."



Susan walks by carrying a tray for discarded drinks. Edie puts her drink on the tray.



Edie: "Uh, unh-unh. This is flat. I think I'd like, um, a Rusty Nail."



Susan: "A what now?"



Edie: "It's a cocktail. Well, I'm not really sure what's in it. But it sounds obscure and complicated, so chop-chop."



Carlos, Lynette, and Gabrielle are having a drinks.



Carlos (on his cell phone): "Be right there. Hey, hey. Put that down. We gotta go. Our birth mother just went into labor."



Gabrielle: "What?"



Lynette: "That's fantastic!"



Carlos: "Yeah, can you believe it? We're gonna be parents. I'll go get the car. Come on."



Carlos leaves.



Gabrielle: "We were supposed to have four weeks. She promised me the baby wasn't due for four more weeks. We don't have anything! We don't, we don't have diapers, and we don't have the stuff babies drink."



Lynette: "Formula."



Gabrielle: "Exactly. We're not ready! You know, this is a total inconvenience."



Lynette: "Welcome to parenthood. Come on."



Susan, behind a bar, hands Julie a book.



Susan: "This is your father's bartender bible. See if you can find a recipe for a Rusty Nail. "



Julie: "Okay. Um, mom?"



Julie hands Susan an old picture of her and Karl that she pulled out of the book.



Susan: "Where'd you find that?"



Julie: "It was stuck in here between a Pink Squirrel and a Pisco Sour."



Susan: "Oh. Well, why is your father keeping this?"



Julie: "Why do you think?"



Edie's Bedroom



Karl is packing. Susan walks in and closes the door.



Karl: "Hey, Susie."



Susan: "Karl, this marriage, our marriage, this fake marriage, that's what it is, right? Fake."



Karl: "What are you talking about?"



Susan holds up the picture.



Susan: "What's this?"



Karl: "Nothing."



Susan: "Yeah? Okay, then, repeat after me. 'Our marriage is fake, and I'm going to marry the woman I really love, Edie Britt.'"



Karl: "If that's what you want me to say."



Susan: "No, no no, no! It's not about what I want you to say. You have to want to say that you want to marry Edie."



Karl: "Don't worry about this, Susie."



Karl takes the picture and puts it into his pocket.



Susan: "Why are you hanging on to that?"



Karl: "I need to look at it from time to time."



Susan: "Why?"



Karl: "Consider it my punishment for screwing up the best thing that ever happened to me."



Susan: "Oh. Oh, no, no, no. This is not happening."



Karl grabs Susan and kisses her. They fall on the bed.



Susan: "Oh, Karl! Oh! Will you, are you crazy?!"



Karl: "Just tell me what to do, Susie. If you want me to marry Edie, I will. You want me to call off the wedding, I'll do it. I'll do whatever you want. I'm putty."



Edie: "Karl!"



Karl, upon hearing Edie calling him, flips Susan over the bed onto the floor, out of sight.



Susan: "Whoa!"



Edie: "What are you doing?"



Karl: "I'm, just, uh, putting away some coats."



Edie: "Oh. Well, it's time to open my presents. Let's go."



Susan peeks her head out from behind the bed and sighs.



Bar



Bree walks in and up to the bartender.



Bree: "Oh, hello."



Bartender: "Hi."



Bree: "Hi. Um, I need some advice from a professional. I'd like to get stinking drunk. Do you have anything that can accomplish that in a hurry?"



Hospital



Gabrielle and Carlos are running down the hallway in scrubs.



Gabrielle: "I forgot the Lamaze book in my purse!"



Carlos: "Oh, forget it. Come on. Let's go. We'll wing it."



They enter the delivery room. Libby is sitting up, and a nurse is holding a baby.



Gabrielle: "Oh, we missed it!"



Libby: "The kid just slipped right out."



Nurse: "Are you family?"



Libby: "They're the parents."



Carlos and Gabrielle smile.



Later, the nurse and Carlos are wrapping the baby in a pink blanket.



Nurse: "Would you like to help?"



Gabrielle: "No, thanks. You guys look like you got it covered."



Nurse: "Oh, are you sure, honey?"



Carlos: "Come on, Gaby."



Gabrielle: "I just, um, I, I don't wanna do anything to screw it up."



Nurse: "She won't break. Here."



Gabrielle: "Okay. Hi. Hi. Oh, honey, you were right."



Carlos: "About what?"



Gabrielle: "It was all worth it."



Edie's Living Room



Edie is opening her gifts.



Edie: "Serving bowls. Just what I needed, Lynette."



Lynette: "There's a gift receipt taped to the bottom of the box."



Edie: "Oh. thank god! Okay, the next one is from Felicia."



Felicia: "I do hope you like it."



Edie: "Oh, you know what they say...good things come in small packages."



Lynette: "What is it?"



Edie opens a small box and pulls out dentures.



Lynette: "Teeth?"



Felicia: "Dentures. They were my dear sister, Martha's. I'm sure none of you knew, but she had orthodontic issues from the time she was a child."



Edie: "Oh. thank you."



Felicia: "I know it's an unconventional gift for an engagement party, but you and Martha were such close friends, Edie. I wanted you to have something truly personal to remember her by since she left us so abruptly. You know, when Paul Young strangled her, crushed her windpipe, and buried her alive next to a garbage-strewn hiking trail."



Edie: "Felicia, uh, I think you've had enough."



Felicia: "I do apologize if I've offended anyone, but while you all are chit-chatting and eating these yummy hors d'oeuvres, just remember you're in the company of a murderer."



Paul Young puts down his drink and walks out of Edie's house. Felicia smiles.



Bar



Peter walks in, looking around. He sees Bree, passed out in a booth.



Peter: "Bree? Bree? Why didn't you call Donna?"



Bree: "I don't need Donna. I need you."



Peter picks Bree up and carries her out.



Peter: "You know, I don't even like redheads."



Hospital



Gabrielle is holding the baby.



Carlos: "Okay, it's my turn."



Gabrielle: "Shh. In a minute."



Carlos: "Come on, you're hogging her."



Frank walks into the delivery room.



Frank: "Tell me! You tell me who it is, Libby."



Libby: "Are you drunk?"



Frank: "Who is he, Libby? Hmm? I got to know."



Libby: "I already told you, he's just some rodeo guy. I don't even remember his name."



Frank: "Liar!"



Frank pours the liquor he is drinking on his arm and holds up a lighter.



Libby: "What are you doing?"



Frank: "I am gonna light myself on fire."



Gabrielle: "He's gonna light himself on fire with coffee liqueur?"



Carlos: "Would not have been my choice."



Frank: "Tell me his name, or I'm gonna do it!"



Libby: "Frank, you're being an idiot."



Frank: "Aah! Aah!"



Libby: "It was Dale, okay? It was Dale."



Frank: "My brother Dale? He's a kid!"



Libby: "Well, he's nineteen, Frank. He knows which end is up."



Gabrielle: "Wait, what is she saying?"



Carlos: "There's a father."



Security guards run and try to grab Frank who tries to run away.



Guard: "Hey! Hey!"



The guard and an guy in scrubs grab Frank. Gabrielle starts to walk out holding the baby.



Gabrielle: "No. I'm not giving up the baby."



Security: "Let's get him out of here."



Frank: "No! No!"



Carlos chases Gabrielle.



Carlos: "What the hell are you doing?"



Gabrielle: "Taking our baby home."



Carlos: "She's not ours. The papers aren't valid anymore. She has a father."



Gabrielle: "Do you really wanna leave this beautiful little girl with that white trash freak show? Huh? Well, come on, then."



Outside the Hospital - Nighttime



Carlos and Gabrielle run out holding the baby and two police officers run by them.



Officer #1: "Where?"



Officer #2: "Maternity. Maternity."



Officer #1: "All right."



Gabrielle's Car



Carlos rips open a box with a car seat.



Gabrielle: "Carlos, Hurry up!"



Carlos: "I'm hurrying. Man, there's a lot of straps on this thing! How does this thing go in?"



Gabrielle: "Read the instructions!"



Carlos: "Pass strap 'a' through strap 'b,' making sure that the harness clip is at the chest level. Well, which damn one is the harness clip?"



Gabrielle: "That is after the baby is in. You have to connect it to the car first! I told you we should've got an S.U.V.!"



Carlos: "Okay, stop yelling! This is very complicated."



Gabrielle: "Oh, for god's sakes. Just take the baby."



Gabrielle snaps the seat belts, locking in the car seat.



Carlos: "Wow."



Gabrielle: "Here. We're good to go. Give me the baby."



Carlos: "You know this isn't gonna end well. You know, they're just gonna try and take her back."



Gabrielle: "Maybe. But we don't have to make it easy for them."



Carlos: "Gaby, I…;



Gabrielle: "Look, just buckle up!"



They drive away.



Wisteria Lane - Nighttime



"Temptation comes to all of us. Whether or not we succumb depends on our ability to recognize its disguise."



Susan's Living Room



Susan is sitting in front of the lit fireplace. She touches her lips.



"Sometimes it arrives in the form of an old flame, flickering back to life."



Bree's Dining Room



Peter is feeding Bree coffee.



"Or a new friend who could end up being so much more."



Gabrielle's House



Gabrielle is holding the baby, looking at it lovingly, as Carlos looks out the window.



"Or a young child who awakens feelings we didn't know we had. And so we give in to temptation, all the while knowing come morning, we'll have to suffer the consequences."



~ The End ~

关键字:绝望主妇第二季

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