ZEAL, n. A certain nervousdisorder afflicting the young and
inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl.

When Zeal sought Gratitude for his reward
He went away exclaiming: "O my Lord!"

"What do you want?" the Lord asked, bending down.
"An ointment for my cracked and bleeding crown."

Jum Coople
ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man

standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot
is not considered as having a zenith, though from this view of the

matter there was once a considerablydissent among the learned, some
holding that the posture of the body was immaterial. These were

called Horizontalists, their opponents, Verticalists. The
Horizontalist heresy was finally extinguished by Xanobus, the

philosopher-king of Abara, a zealous Verticalist. Entering an
assembly of philosophers who were debating the matter, he cast a

severed human head at the feet of his opponents and asked them to
determine its zenith, explaining that its body was hanging by the

heels outside. Observing that it was the head of their leader, the
Horizontalists hastened to profess themselves converted to whatever

opinion the Crown might be pleased to hold, and Horizontalism took its
place among _fides defuncti_.

ZEUS, n. The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter
and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog. Some explorers

who have touched upon the shores of America, and one who professes to
have penetrated a considerable distance to the interior, have thought

that these four names stand for as many distinct deities, but in his
monumental work on Surviving Faiths, Frumpp insists that the natives

are monotheists, each having no other god than himself, whom he
worships under many sacred names.

ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one
carrying the white man's burden. (From _zed_, _z_, and _jag_, an

Icelandic word of unknown meaning.)
He zedjagged so uncomen wyde

Thet non coude pas on eyder syde;
So, to com saufly thruh, I been

Constreynet for to doodge betwene.
Munwele

ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including
its king, the House Fly (_Musca maledicta_). The father of Zoology

was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother
has not come down to us. Two of the science's most illustrious

expounders were Buffon and Oliver Goldsmith, from both of whom we
learn (_L'Histoire generale des animaux_ and _A History of Animated

Nature_) that the domestic cow sheds its horn every two years.
End

• nervous [´nə:vəs] a.神经的；神经过敏的 (初中英语单词)
• passion [´pæʃən] n.激情；激怒；恋爱 (初中英语单词)
• gratitude [´grætitju:d] n.感激，感谢 (初中英语单词)
• overhead [´əuvə,hed] ad.当头 a.在头上的 (初中英语单词)
• cabbage [´kæbidʒ] n.卷心菜；洋白菜 (初中英语单词)
• considerable [kən´sidərəbəl] a.重要的；值得重视 (初中英语单词)
• interior [in´tiəriə] n.&a.内部地(的) (初中英语单词)
• distinct [di´stiŋkt] a.清楚的；独特的 (初中英语单词)
• sacred [´seikrid] a.神圣的；庄严的 (初中英语单词)
• domestic [də´mestik] a.家庭的；本国的 (初中英语单词)
• disorder [dis´ɔ:də] n.杂乱 vt.扰乱 (高中英语单词)
• considerably [kən´sidərəbli] ad.显著地；十分 (高中英语单词)
• learned [´lə:nid] a.有学问的，博学的 (高中英语单词)
• hanging [´hæŋiŋ] n.绞刑 a.悬挂着的 (高中英语单词)
• profess [prə´fes] v.声称；讲授 (高中英语单词)
• zealous [´zeləs] a.热情的；积极的 (英语四级单词)
• universally [,ju:ni´və:səli] ad.普遍地 (英语四级单词)
• goldsmith [´gəuld,smiθ] n.金匠 (英语四级单词)
• ointment [´ɔintmənt] n.软膏；药膏；油膏 (英语六级单词)
• cracked [krækt] a.有裂缝的；碎的；粗哑 (英语六级单词)
• zenith [´ziniθ] n.天顶，顶点；全盛 (英语六级单词)
• dissent [di´sent] vi.不同意；表异议 (英语六级单词)
• posture [´pɔstʃə] n.姿势 v.故作姿态 (英语六级单词)
• heresy [´herisi] n.异教，异端，邪说 (英语六级单词)
• grecian [´gri:ʃən] a.古希腊的 n.希腊人 (英语六级单词)
• uncertainly [ʌn´sə:tnli] ad.不明确地；怀疑地 (英语六级单词)