penitential method: the good that it does and the taint of justice.
SCEPTER, n. A king's staff of office, the sign and
symbol of his
authority. It was
originally" target="_blank" title="ad.本来;独创地">
originally a mace with which the
sovereignadmonished his
jester and vetoed
ministerial measures by breaking the
bones of their proponents.
SCIMETAR, n. A curved sword of
exceeding keenness, in the conduct of
which certain Orientals
attain a
surprising proficiency, as the
incident here
related will serve to show. The
account is translated
from the Japanese by Shusi Itama, a famous
writer of the thirteenth
century.
When the great Gichi-Kuktai was Mikado he condemned to
decapitation Jijiji Ri, a high officer of the Court. Soon after
the hour appointed for
performance of the rite what was his
Majesty's surprise to see
calmly approaching the
throne the man
who should have been at that time ten minutes dead!
"Seventeen hundred impossible dragons!" shouted the enraged
monarch. "Did I not
sentence you to stand in the market-place and
have your head struck off by the public executioner at three
o'clock? And is it not now 3:10?"
"Son of a thousand
illustrious deities," answered the
condemned
minister, "all that you say is so true that the truth is
a lie in
comparison. But your
heavenly Majesty's sunny and
vitalizing wishes have been pestilently disregarded. With joy I
ran and placed my
unworthy body in the market-place. The
executioner appeared with his bare scimetar, ostentatiously
whirled it in air, and then, tapping me
lightly upon the neck,
strode away, pelted by the
populace, with whom I was ever a
favorite. I am come to pray for justice upon his own dishonorable
and treasonous head."
"To what
regiment of executioners does the black-boweled
caitiff belong?" asked the Mikado.
"To the
gallant Ninety-eight Hundred and Thirty-seventh -- I
know the man. His name is Sakko-Samshi."
"Let him be brought before me," said the Mikado to an
attendant, and a
half-hour later the
culprit stood in the
Presence.
"Thou
bastard son of a three-legged hunchback without thumbs!"
roared the
sovereign -- "why didst thou but
lightly tap the neck
that it should have been thy pleasure to sever?"
"Lord of Cranes of Cherry Blooms," replied the executioner,
unmoved, "command him to blow his nose with his fingers."
Being commanded, Jijiji Ri laid hold of his nose and trumpeted
like an
elephant, all expecting to see the severed head flung
violently from him. Nothing occurred: the
performance prospered
peacefully to the close, without incident.
All eyes were now turned on the executioner, who had grown as
white as the snows on the
summit of Fujiama. His legs trembled
and his
breath came in gasps of terror.
"Several kinds of spike-tailed brass lions!" he cried; "I am a
ruined and disgraced swordsman! I struck the
villain feebly
because in flourishing the scimetar I had
accidentally passed it
through my own neck! Father of the Moon, I
resign my office."
So
saying, he gasped his top-knot, lifted off his head, and
advancing to the
throne laid it
humbly at the Mikado's feet.
SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is
commonly edited by a fool. Many
persons of some small
distinctioncompile scrap-books containing
whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to
collect. One of these egotists was addressed in the lines following,
by Agamemnon Melancthon Peters:
Dear Frank, that scrap-book where you boast
You keep a record true
Of every kind of peppered roast
That's made of you;
Wherein you paste the printed gibes
That revel round your name,
Thinking the
laughter of the scribes
Attests your fame;
Where all the pictures you arrange
That comic pencils trace --
Your funny figure and your strange
Semitic face --
Pray lend it me. Wit I have not,
Nor art, but there I'll list
The daily drubbings you'd have got
Had God a fist.
SCRIBBLER, n. A
professionalwriter whose views are antagonistic to
one's own.
SCRIPTURES, n. The
sacred books of our holy religion, as
distinguished from the false and
profanewritings on which all other
faiths are based.
SEAL, n. A mark impressed upon certain kinds of documents to attest
their authenticity and authority. Sometimes it is stamped upon wax,
and attached to the paper, sometimes into the paper itself. Sealing,
in this sense, is a survival of an ancient custom of inscribing
important papers with cabalistic words or signs to give them a magical
efficacy independent of the authority that they represent. In the
British museum are preserved many ancient papers,
mostly of a
sacerdotal
character, validated by necromantic pentagrams and other
devices, frequently
initial letters of words to
conjure with; and in
many instances these are attached in the same way that seals are
appended now. As nearly every reasonless and
apparently meaningless
custom, rite or
observance of modern times had
origin in some remote
utility, it is
pleasing to note an example of ancient nonsense
evolving in the process of ages into something really useful. Our
word "sincere" is derived from _sine cero_, without wax, but the
learned are not in
agreement as to whether this refers to the absence
of the cabalistic signs, or to that of the wax with which letters were
formerly closed from public scrutiny. Either view of the matter will
serve one in immediate need of an hypothesis. The
initials L.S.,
commonly appended to signatures of legal documents, mean _locum
sigillis_, the place of the seal, although the seal is no longer used
-- an
admirable example of conservatism distinguishing Man from the
beasts that
perish. The words _locum sigillis_ are
humbly suggested
as a
suitable motto for the Pribyloff Islands
whenever they shall take
their place as a
sovereign State of the American Union.
SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an
involuntary change of
environment. For fish it is made strong and
coarse, but women are
more easily taken with a singularly
delicatefabric weighted with
small, cut stones.
The devil casting a seine of lace,
(With precious stones 'twas weighted)
Drew it into the
landing place
And its
contents calculated.
All souls of women were in that sack --
A draft
miraculous, precious!
But ere he could throw it across his back
They'd all escaped through the meshes.
Baruch de Loppis
SELF-ESTEEM, n. An
erroneous appraisement.
SELF-EVIDENT, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
SELFISH, adj. Devoid of
consideration for the
selfishness of others.
SENATE, n. A body of
elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and
misdemeanors.
SERIAL, n. A
literary work, usually a story that is not true,
creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine.
Frequently appended to each
installment is a "synposis of preceding
chapters" for those who have not read them, but a direr need is a
synposis of succeeding chapters for those who do not intend to read
_them_. A synposis of the entire work would be still better.
The late James F. Bowman was
writing a serial tale for a weekly
paper in collaboration with a
genius whose name has not come down to
us. They wrote, not jointly but
alternately, Bowman supplying the
installment for one week, his friend for the next, and so on, world
without end, they hoped. Unfortunately they quarreled, and one Monday
morning when Bowman read the paper to prepare himself for his task, he
found his work cut out for him in a way to surprise and pain him. His
collaborator had embarked every
character of the
narrative on a ship