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And sacked himself strangely in checks instead;

Denuded his chin, but retained at each ear



A whisker that looked like a blasted career.

He painted his neck an incarnadine hue



Each morning and varnished it all that he knew.

The moony monocular set in his eye



Appeared to be scanning the Sweet Bye-and-Bye.

His head was enroofed with a billycock hat,



And his low-necked shoes were aduncous and flat.

In speech he eschewed his American ways,



Denying his nose to the use of his A's

And dulling their edge till the delicate sense



Of a babe at their temper could take no offence.

His H's -- 'twas most inexpressibly sweet,



The patter they made as they fell at his feet!

Re-outfitted thus, Mr. Splurge without fear



Began as Lord Splurge his recouping career.

Alas, the Divinity shaping his end



Entertained other views and decided to send

His lordship in horror, despair and dismay



From the land of the nobleman's natural prey.

For, smit with his Old World ways, Lady Cadde



Fell -- suffering Caesar! -- in love with her dad!

G.J.



LORE, n. Learning -- particularly that sort which is not derived from

a regular course of instruction but comes of the reading of occult



books, or by nature. This latter is commonly designated as folk-lore

and embraces popularly myths and superstitions. In Baring-Gould's



_Curious Myths of the Middle Ages_ the reader will find many of these

traced backward, through various people son converging lines, toward a



common origin in remoteantiquity. Among these are the fables of

"Teddy the Giant Killer," "The Sleeping John Sharp Williams," "Little



Red Riding Hood and the Sugar Trust," "Beauty and the Brisbane," "The

Seven Aldermen of Ephesus," "Rip Van Fairbanks," and so forth. The



fable with Goethe so affectingly relates under the title of "The Erl-

King" was known two thousand years ago in Greece as "The Demos and the



Infant Industry." One of the most general and ancient of these myths

is that Arabian tale of "Ali Baba and the Forty Rockefellers."



LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the

latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his



election"; and of that eminent man, the poet Gilder, that he has "lost

his mind." It is in the former and more legitimate sense, that the



word is used in the famous epitaph:

Here Huntington's ashes long have lain



Whose loss is our eternal gain,

For while he exercised all his powers



Whatever he gained, the loss was ours.

LOVE, n. A temporaryinsanity curable by marriage or by removal of



the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.

This disease, like _caries_ and many other ailments, is prevalent only



among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous

nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from



its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the

physician than to the patient.



LOW-BRED, adj. "Raised" instead of brought up.

LUMINARY, n. One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not



writing about it.

LUNARIAN, n. An inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from



Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits. The Lunarians have been

described by Lucian, Locke and other observers, but without much



agreement. For example, Bragellos avers their anatomical identity

with Man, but Professor Newcomb says they are more like the hill






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