酷兔英语

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as Dr. Mary Walker and other reformers have done with their coattails

in our own day -- an evidence that revolutions sometimes go backward.



HANGMAN, n. An officer of the law charged with duties of the highest

dignity and utmostgravity, and held in hereditary disesteem by a



populace having a criminal ancestry. In some of the American States

his functions are now performed by an electrician, as in New Jersey,



where executions by electricity have recently been ordered -- the

first instance known to this lexicographer of anybody questioning the



expediency of hanging Jerseymen.

HAPPINESS, n. An agreeablesensation arising from contemplating the



misery of another.

HARANGUE, n. A speech by an opponent, who is known as an harrangue-



outang.

HARBOR, n. A place where ships taking shelter from stores are exposed



to the fury of the customs.

HARMONISTS, n. A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from



Europe in the beginning of the last century and were distinguished for

the bitterness of their internal controversies and dissensions.



HASH, x. There is no definition for this word -- nobody knows what

hash is.



HATCHET, n. A young axe, known among Indians as a Thomashawk.

"O bury the hatchet, irascible Red,



For peace is a blessing," the White Man said.

The Savage concurred, and that weapon interred,



With imposing rites, in the White Man's head.

John Lukkus



HATRED, n. A sentimentappropriate to the occasion of another's

superiority.



HEAD-MONEY, n. A capitation tax, or poll-tax.

In ancient times there lived a king



Whose tax-collectors could not wring

From all his subjects gold enough



To make the royal way less rough.

For pleasure's highway, like the dames



Whose premises adjoin it, claims

Perpetual repairing. So



The tax-collectors in a row

Appeared before the throne to pray



Their master to devise some way

To swell the revenue. "So great,"



Said they, "are the demands of state

A tithe of all that we collect



Will scarcely meet them. Pray reflect:

How, if one-tenth we must resign,



Can we exist on t'other nine?"

The monarch asked them in reply:



"Has it occurred to you to try

The advantage of economy?"



"It has," the spokesman said: "we sold

All of our gray garrotes of gold;



With plated-ware we now compress

The necks of those whom we assess.



Plain iron forceps we employ

To mitigate the miser's joy



Who hoards, with greed that never tires,

That which your Majesty requires."



Deep lines of thought were seen to plow




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