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The Devil's Dictionary-Part8_Ambrose Bierce(1842-1914)_English Literature(文学名著)-第2页

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EVERLASTING, adj. Lasting forever. It is with no small diffidence

that I venture to offer this brief and elementarydefinition, for I am



not unaware of the existence of a bulky volume by a sometime Bishop of

Worcester, entitled, _A Partial Definition of the Word "Everlasting,"



as Used in the Authorized Version of the Holy Scriptures_. His book

was once esteemed of great authority in the Anglican Church, and is



still, I understand, studied with pleasure to the mind and profit of

the soul.



EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other

things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc. "The



exception proves the rule" is an expression constantly upon the lips

of the ignorant, who parrot it from one another with never a thought



of its absurdity. In the Latin, "_Exceptio probat regulam_" means

that the exception _tests_ the rule, puts it to the proof, not



_confirms_ it. The malefactor who drew the meaning from this

excellent dictum and substituted a contrary one of his own exerted an



evil power which appears to be immortal.

EXCESS, n. In morals, an indulgence that enforces by appropriate



penalties the law of moderation.

Hail, high Excess -- especially in wine,



To thee in worship do I bend the knee

Who preach abstemiousness unto me --



My skull thy pulpit, as my paunch thy shrine.

Precept on precept, aye, and line on line,



Could ne'er persuade so sweetly to agree

With reason as thy touch, exact and free,



Upon my forehead and along my spine.

At thy command eschewing pleasure's cup,



With the hot grape I warm no more my wit;

When on thy stool of penitence I sit



I'm quite converted, for I can't get up.

Ungrateful he who afterward would falter



To make new sacrifices at thine altar!

EXCOMMUNICATION, n.



This "excommunication" is a word

In speech ecclesiastical oft heard,



And means the damning, with bell, book and candle,

Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal --



A rite permitting Satan to enslave him

Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.



Gat Huckle

EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to



enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the

judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of



no effect. Following is an extract from an old book entitled, _The

Lunarian Astonished_ -- Pfeiffer & Co., Boston, 1803:



LUNARIAN: Then when your Congress has passed a law it goes

directly to the Supreme Court in order that it may at once be



known whether it is constitutional?

TERRESTRIAN: O no; it does not require the approval of the



Supreme Court until having perhaps been enforced for many

years somebody objects to its operation against himself -- I



mean his client. The President, if he approves it, begins to

execute it at once.



LUNARIAN: Ah, the executive power is a part of the legislative.

Do your policemen also have to approve the local ordinances



that they enforce?




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