blacksmith.



ARRAYED, pp. Drawn up and given an orderlydisposition, as a rioter

hanged to a lamppost.



ARREST, v.t. Formally to detain one accused of unusualness.

God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.



_The Unauthorized Version_

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom



it greatly affects in turn.

"Eat arsenic? Yes, all you get,"



Consenting, he did speak up;

"'Tis better you should eat it, pet,



Than put it in my teacup."

Joel Huck



ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related as

follows by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J.



One day a wag -- what would the wretch be at? --

Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT,



And said it was a god's name! Straight arose

Fantastic priests and postulants (with shows,



And mysteries, and mummeries, and hymns,

And disputations dire that lamed their limbs)



To serve his temple and maintain the fires,

Expound the law, manipulate the wires.



Amazed, the populace that rites attend,

Believe whate'er they cannot comprehend,



And, inly edified to learn that two

Half-hairs joined so and so (as Art can do)



Have sweeter values and a grace more fit

Than Nature's hairs that never have been split,



Bring cates and wines for sacrificial feasts,

And sell their garments to support the priests.



ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by

long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased



to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.

ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which



one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia



City, Nevada, he is called the Washoe Canary, in Dakota, the Senator,

and everywhere the Donkey. The animal is widely and variously



celebrated in the literature, art and religion of every age and

country; no other so engages and fires the human imagination as this



noble vertebrate. Indeed, it is doubted by some (Ramasilus, _lib.

II., De Clem._, and C. Stantatus, _De Temperamente_) if it is not a



god; and as such we know it was worshiped by the Etruscans, and, if we

may believe Macrobious, by the Cupasians also. Of the only two



animals admitted into the Mahometan Paradise along with the souls of

men, the ass that carried Balaam is one, the dog of the Seven Sleepers



the other. This is no small distinction. From what has been written

about this beast might be compiled a library of great splendor and



magnitude, rivalling that of the Shakespearean cult, and that which

clusters about the Bible. It may be said, generally, that all



literature is more or less Asinine.

"Hail, holy Ass!" the quiring angels sing;



"Priest of Unreason, and of Discords King!"

Great co-Creator, let Thy glory shine:



God made all else, the Mule, the Mule is thine!"

G.J.



AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked

a pocket with his tongue.



AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and

commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate



dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an

island.



AVERNUS, n. The lake by which the ancients entered the infernal

regions. The fact that access to the infernal regions was obtained by



a lake is believed by the learned Marcus Ansello Scrutator to have

suggested the Christian rite of baptism by immersion. This, however,



has been shown by Lactantius to be an error.

• follower [´fɔləuə] n.追随者，信徒；执行者 (初中英语单词)


• politics [´pɔlitiks] n.政治(学)；政治活动 (初中英语单词)


• premier [´premiə] n.总理 a.首要的 (初中英语单词)


• polite [pə´lait] a.有礼貌的；温和的 (初中英语单词)


• recognition [,rekəg´niʃən] n.认出；认识；承认 (初中英语单词)


• compound [kəm´paund] n.&a.混合(的) v.合成 (初中英语单词)


• statesman [´steitsmən] n.政治家，国务活动家 (初中英语单词)


• criminal [´kriminəl] a.犯罪的 n.罪犯 (初中英语单词)


• sovereign [´sɔvrin] a.至高无上的 n.君主 (初中英语单词)


• supreme [su:´pri:m, sju:-] a.最高的，无上的 (初中英语单词)


• temple [´tempəl] n.庙宇；寺院；太阳穴 (初中英语单词)


• international [,intə´næʃənəl] a.国际的，世界的 (初中英语单词)


• exception [ik´sepʃən] n.例外；反对，异议 (初中英语单词)


• contact [´kɔntækt] n.接触；联系 v.联络 (初中英语单词)


• priest [pri:st] n.教士；牧师；神父 (初中英语单词)


• formerly [´fɔ:məli] ad.从前，以前 (初中英语单词)


• victim [´viktim] n.牺牲者；受害者 (初中英语单词)


• reference [´refərəns] n.参考；参照；出处 (初中英语单词)


• female [´fi:meil] a.女(性)的 n.女人 (初中英语单词)


• expensive [ik´spensiv] a.费钱的，昂贵的 (初中英语单词)


• sentiment [´sentimənt] n.情绪；多愁善感 (初中英语单词)


• foundation [faun´deiʃən] n.建立；基金；地基 (初中英语单词)


• mercury [´mə:kjuri] n.汞；水银柱 (初中英语单词)


• gratitude [´grætitju:d] n.感激，感谢 (初中英语单词)


• instinct [´instiŋkt] n.本能；直觉；天资 (初中英语单词)


• guilty [´gilti] a.有罪的；心虚的 (初中英语单词)


• tailor [´teilə] n.裁缝 vt.裁制(衣服) (初中英语单词)


• orderly [´ɔ:dəli] a.整洁的 n.勤务兵 (初中英语单词)


• disposition [,dispə´ziʃən] n.安排；性情；倾向 (初中英语单词)


• origin [´ɔridʒin] n.起源；由来；出身 (初中英语单词)


• maintain [mein´tein] vt.维持；保持；继续 (初中英语单词)


• attain [ə´tein] v.取得；到达；成为 (初中英语单词)


• severe [si´viə] a.严厉的；苛刻的 (初中英语单词)


• singer [´siŋə] n.歌手，演唱者 (初中英语单词)


• literature [´litərətʃə] n.文学；文献；著作 (初中英语单词)


• imagination [i,mædʒi´neiʃən] n.想象(力) (初中英语单词)


• paradise [´pærədais] n.天堂；乐园 (初中英语单词)


• distinction [di´stiŋkʃən] n.差别；特征；卓越 (初中英语单词)


• splendor [´splendə] n.壮丽 =splendour (初中英语单词)


• hammer [´hæmə] n.锤子 v.重击 (初中英语单词)


• industrial [in´dʌstriəl] a.工业的，产业的 (初中英语单词)


• continent [´kɔntinənt] n.大陆，陆地 (初中英语单词)


• ingenious [in´dʒi:niəs] a.富于创新的；巧妙的 (高中英语单词)


• resemblance [ri´zembləns] n.类似；肖像；外表 (高中英语单词)


• cherish [´tʃeriʃ] vt.珍爱；怀有(感情) (高中英语单词)


• tenderly [´tendəli] ad.娇嫩地；柔和地 (高中英语单词)


• pretence [pri´tens] n.假装；托词；无理要求 (高中英语单词)


• distinguished [di´stiŋgwiʃt] a.卓越的，著名的 (高中英语单词)


• jewish [´dʒu:iʃ] a.犹太人(似)的 (高中英语单词)


• faithfully [´feiθfəli] ad.忠实地；诚恳地 (高中英语单词)


• allegiance [ə´li:dʒəns] n.忠诚，效忠 (高中英语单词)


• sweetness [´swi:tnis] n.甜蜜；芳香；亲切 (高中英语单词)


• plunder [´plʌndə] v.&n.掠夺；盗窃 (高中英语单词)


• secretly [´si:kritli] ad.秘密地；隐蔽地 (高中英语单词)


• offering [´ɔfəriŋ] n.提供；礼物；捐献 (高中英语单词)


• ridiculous [ri´dikjuləs] a.荒谬的；可笑的 (高中英语单词)


• grease [gri:s] n.脂肪；油脂 vt.涂油 (高中英语单词)


• thoughtfully [´θɔ:tfuli] ad.深思地；体贴地 (高中英语单词)


• imaginary [i´mædʒinəri] a.想象的；虚构的 (高中英语单词)


• detain [di´tein] vt.留住；拘留 (高中英语单词)


• related [ri´leitid] a.叙述的；有联系的 (高中英语单词)


• simplicity [sim´plisiti] n.简单；朴素 (高中英语单词)


• temptation [temp´teiʃən] n.引诱，诱惑(物) (高中英语单词)


• nevada [ne´vɑ:də] n.内华达 (高中英语单词)


• dakota [də´kəutə] n.&a.达科他人(语) (高中英语单词)


• donkey [´dɔŋki] n.驴子；蠢人；顽固的人 (高中英语单词)


• access [´ækses] n.接近；通路；进入 (高中英语单词)


• learned [´lə:nid] a.有学问的，博学的 (高中英语单词)


• providence [´prɔvidəns] n.天意，天命，上帝 (英语四级单词)


• rightly [´raitli] ad.正义地；正确地 (英语四级单词)


• thieves [θi:vz] thief的复数 (英语四级单词)


• separately [´sepəritli] ad.分离地；孤独地 (英语四级单词)


• alligator [´æligeitə] n.短鼻鳄鱼(皮) (英语四级单词)


• whereupon [,weərə´pɔn] ad.在什么上面；因此 (英语四级单词)


• right-hand [´rait´hænd] a.右手的，右边的 (英语四级单词)


• attachment [ə´tætʃmənt] n.附着；附件；爱慕 (英语四级单词)


• formally [´fɔ:məli] ad.形式地，正式地 (英语四级单词)


• definition [,defi´niʃən] n.限定；定义；明确 (英语四级单词)


• wretch [retʃ] n.不幸的人；卑鄙的人 (英语四级单词)


• ascribe [ə´skraib] vt.归因于；把…归于 (英语四级单词)


• vicious [´viʃəs] a.不道德的；刻毒的 (英语四级单词)


• canary [kə´neəri] n.金丝雀 (英语四级单词)


• baptism [´bæptizəm] n.洗礼 (英语四级单词)


• adherent [əd´hiərənt] n.拥护者 a.粘着的 (英语六级单词)


• reproof [ri´pru:f] n.谴责；责备 (英语六级单词)


• crocodile [´krɔkədail] n.鳄鱼；假慈悲的人 (英语六级单词)


• intestine [in´testin] a.内部的；国内的 n.肠 (英语六级单词)


• populace [´pɔpjuləs] n.平民；大众；人口 (英语六级单词)


• ecclesiastical [i,kli:zi´æstikəl] n.基督教会的；教士的 (英语六级单词)


• affected [ə´fektid] a.做作的；假装的 (英语六级单词)


• arsenic [´ɑ:sənik] n.砷 (英语六级单词)


• infernal [in´fə:nəl] a.地狱的，恶魔似的 (英语六级单词)