1X18: CHILDREN WILL LISTEN

Original Airdate on ABC: 10-APR-2005

[INT: Hospital -Corridor -Night]

(Mama Solis wakes up and walks through the hospital corridor.)

Mama Solis: Is anybody here?

(Mama Solis falls down the stairs, whilst a nurse smokes around the corner.)

[INT: Hospital-Office -Day]

Doctor: It appears there may have been a break down in our chain of care.

(The doctor pushes a piece of paper across the desk to Gabrielle, it contains details of a settlement.)

Gabrielle: Are you trying to buy us off?

[INT: Van Den Camp House -Andrew's Room -Night]

Bree: There's this place called Camp Hennessy.

Andrew: I'm not going to any stupid camp for juvenile delinquents.

(Two large men take Andrew away.)

Bree: You don't have a choice.

[EXT: Lake -Night]

(Paul throws the wrapped up chest into the lake.)

[INT: Police Station -Day]

(Policeman shows pictures of the chest to a carpenter.)

Policeman: We pulled it out of Rock water Lake.

Carpenter: I must have sold several hundred of these, just like it. We have a list of customers' names on file.

[EXT: Lake-Night]

[EXT: Young House-Night]

(Paul and Zach are arguing.)

Zach: I won't tell anyone. I'll keep your secret, dad?

[EXT: Solis House -Garden -Day]

(Gabrielle comes outside, runs her fingers through her hair & smoothes her dress.)

(Gabrielle collects the mail, next door neighbor is playing catch with his son, but stops to look at her.)

(Gabrielle stops the baseball with her shoe, and gives the ball back to the boy.)

(Gabrielle watches Carlos smiling at the father and son playing together.)

[INT: Solis House -Gabrielle and Carlos-Bedroom-Night]

(Gabrielle and Carlos are in bed, Gabrielle is putting on hand cream and Carlos is reading.)

Gabrielle: I'm so lucky to have you,

Carlos: **huh** OK, I'll bite.

(He puts book down)

Carlos: Why are you so lucky?

Gabrielle: Because I don't want to have kids and you do.

Carlos: That.

Gabrielle: Most men would leave over something like that, and you're still here. I'm grateful. I know the sacrifice you're making.

Carlos: There's still a little part of me that's hoping to change your mind. Once you had a baby I think that you would love it so much.

Gabrielle: Honey. It's not going to happen.

Carlos: You never know.

Gabrielle: No, sometimes you do.

Carlos: Well, it is a sacrifice. But you're worth it.

(Gabrielle leans over and kisses him.)

[split screen: multiple shots of Gabrielle and Carlos having sex and Carlos' prior tampering with Gabrielle's birth control, changing the pills.]

Opening Credits

[EXT. Wisteria Lane-multiple shows of children playing- Day]

Mary Alice Voiceover: Saturdays on Wisteria Lane belong to the children. And whilst most would spend the day practicing their sports and riding their bikes and jumping their ropes, others were no longer engaged in child's play. Indeed some children were being forced to grow up very quickly.

[EXT. Young House -Garden-Day]

( Zach is raking leaves and Paul is talking to policemen.)

Policeman #1: Sorry to bother you on the weekend, we just have a few questions for you.

Paul: About what?

Policeman #2: Twelve years ago, your late wife purchased a toy chest.

Paul: Toy chest?

Policeman #1: Yeah, it was about this big, had dancing bears on it.

Paul: Gosh, sorry.

Policeman #2: The craftsman who makes these chests keeps a list of customers. Apparently you purchased one in August 1992.

Policeman #1: Yeah, we'd like to know where that chest is now.

Paul: Wow. I, um, wish I could help you but I don't recall any toy chest.

Zach: I remember. Yeah, it had little bears and balloons on it, right?

Policeman #1: Yes son, that's right.

Zach: Yeah, we threw that chest away when I was little. I was standing on it and it just busted. Remember, dad?

Paul: Vaguely.

Policeman #1: I guess that's all then. Thank you both for your time

(The policemen turn, about to walk away.)

Zach: Hey what's the deal with this chest anyway?

Policeman #1: One just like you had washed up on Torch Lake. Had a woman in it

Zach: Woman?

(The policemen leave.)

Policeman #1: She was all chopped up.

Paul: Obviously we need to talk.

(Shot of Mrs. Tilman holding shears and looking suspiciously at the two Young men.)

[INT: Young House -Living Room -Day]

Zach: You lied to me. You said that it was a man in the box.

Paul: No I didn't lie.

Zach: Well, the policeman said it was a woman's body, of course you were lying.

Paul: I told you that a private detective came to take you away from us; I never said it was a man.

Zach: You didn't?

Paul: No.

Zach: Well, I thought that I...

Paul: No.

Zach: Stop, Please dad stop. Look, I know that you're lying to me. OK, I know that you're lying.

Paul: For the last time. Someone came and tried to take you away from us.

Zach: Yes, a woman, a woman came.

Paul: Yes, she tried to steal you. From the only family you'd ever known and we couldn't let that happen and we didn't and that is the truth.

[INT :Van Den Camp House -Living Room -Day]

(Bree is packing a care package for Andrew.)

Rex: We can't cancel now it's two days away.

Bree: Rex, I'm not going and that's all there is to it.

Rex: Counselling is part of the treatment at Camp Hennessy, you knew that.

Bree: Nowhere in their brochure did it say that we were expected to attend.

Rex: What's Andrew going to think if you don't show up?

Bree: Well, I'm making him this care package. I mean he'll know I'm thinking about him.

(Bree picks up a box of home made cakes.)

Rex: Why are you putting in lemon squares? They told us not to send them sweets.

Bree: Well, I don't understand why.

Rex: I guess they feel baked goods from mom undermine the boot camp experience.

Bree: Fine, I won't send them but I think it's a stupid rule.

(Bree puts down the box.)

Rex: So, are you going to this thing or not?

Bree: No.

Rex: Why?

Bree: Because the minute I get there, Andrew will start attacking me for abandoning him and I don't want to hear it.

Rex: There's no reason to feel guilty you know. You did everything you could for him.

Bree: I don't feel guilty.

Rex: OK.

(Rex walks away, and Bree picks up the box of sweets, puts them in the package and seals it up.)

[INT: Scavo House-Kitchen-Day]

(Lynette is on the telephone, attempting to get ready for a day-out, has curlers in her hair and the boys are running wild.)

Lynette (on telephone): Please Christy, there is no way that I can get another babysitter this late in the day.

(Parker is ripping the petals off flowers)

Lynette (to Parker): Parker, knock it off.

Parker: No.

Lynette: Because I'm having drinks with friends I used to work with and they never call and if I blow them off that's it. I'm dead to them. No, I can't call Patty Binks, because she steals things. Dammit, Christy, you're thirteen years old, you've got a lot of trips to the mall ahead of you. Ok, ok, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I raised my voice, I'm calm. I'm starting to think this is about money so what is it that'll make it worth your while? A hundred? That's extortion, there's no way in hell that I'm gonna. Hello, hello?

Lynette (to Parker): Parker, I swear I will spank you, knock it off.

Lynette (on telephone): Hi, Mrs. Binks, is Patty there? Thank you.

[INT: Solis House-Living Room -Day]

(Gabrielle is returning from a shopping trip to find her husband and a lawyer in the living room)

Gabrielle: Hi honey, I'm back.

Carlos: Hey sweetie. This is Mr. Steinberg, the attorney from the hospital.

Gabrielle: Oh, have we met?

Mr. Steinberg: Yes, Mrs. Solis, we've met.

Carlos: Don't you remember, it was after Mama died. Apparently the hospital was negligent and agreed to a seven figure settlement cheque. A cheque I was never told about.

Gabrielle: Oh that. Mr. Steinberg?.

Mr. Steinberg: I was just leaving.

(Gabrielle and Carlos wait until Mr. Steinberg closes the door before they start arguing.)

Carlos: What were you thinking?

Gabrielle: Wait, just let me explain.

Carlos: No, why the hell didn't you tell me?

Gabrielle: Because I couldn't trust you to make the right decision.

Carlos: No, the right decision was to use that money for my lawyers. We could have fought the indictment and then I wouldn't have had to take the plea bargain.

Gabrielle: If you didn't take the plea deal the government would have seized the settlement.

Carlos: Oh, we could have fought that in court.

Gabrielle: Exactly and then you would have blown all the money on the lawyers.

Carlos: Who cares! If there was a chance I didn't have to go to jail?

Gabrielle: You had Laotian convicts sewingcasual wear for 2 cents an hour. Don't you think you deserve a time out?

Carlos: Eight months! Thanks to you I'm going away for eight months.

Gabrielle: And when you get out we're going to have money to start over with. Thanks to me.

(She retrieves her shopping from the chair.)

Gabrielle: You know once you calm down, you're going to realise I did the right thing and when that happens, I'd appreciate an apology.

(Walks away leaving Carlos dumbfounded.)

[INT: Mayer House -Kitchen- Day]

(Susan is painting at the kitchen table, and Julie goes to the sink to make a drink, sees a fender bender outside the window.)

Julie: Grandma's here.

(Susan joins her daughter at the window.)

Susan: Now that is just perfect. Stay put.

[EXT: Wisteria Lane -Outside Mayer House-Day]

Sophie: (To Mike) I am so sorry.

Susan: Hey mom.

(Mike looks at Sophie in shock as he realizes who she is)

Sophie: Oh hey Susie. Oops, I goofed.

Susan: What happened?

Sophie: You know me, no depth perceptionwhatsoever. The state shouldn't have issued me a license.

Mike: So you're Susan's mom?

Sophie: Yeah. I'm Sophie Bremner. And you are-

Mike: Mike Delfino.

Sophie: Oh, you're Mike? Oh my god. Susan's told me so much about you. Well, don't just stand there, give me a hug!

(Mike looks awkwardly" title="a.笨拙地；棘手地">awkwardly at Susan as her mother hugs him.)

Susan: Mom, Mike and I aren't together anymore.

Sophie: Oh, sorry. I guess I just made this pretty awkward, huh.

Susan: Yeah, you really did. So let's go call the insurance company.

Sophie: Well, it's nice meeting you anyway, Mike.

Mike: You too. And I never would've guessed you were Susan's Mom.

Sophie: I know I look too young. I got pregnant when I was a tiny teenager.

Susan: (embarrassed) Okay.

Sophie: It was the first time I got drunk. Ever! Can you believe it?

Susan: Let's go.

Sophie: Her father was a marine you know. Afterward he gave me three of his medals.

Susan: Mom!

Sophie: What?

Susan: Let's go inside and call the insurance company.

Sophie: Oh, right.

(Sophie walks into the house, Susan starts to follow but turns back to Mike)

Susan (to Mike): What are you smiling about?

Mike: I used to have all these questions about how you got to be the way you are. They're all just answered.

[EXT: Wisteria Lane-Outside the Van Den Camp House-Day]

(Bree is fetching the post. Lynette is all dressed up, with the children in tow- searching desperately for someone to baby-sit)

Lynette: Hi. (laughs) Hi.

(Bree tries to sneak back into the house without being caught.)

Bree: Hi. What's going on?

Lynette: Oh, um, my babysitter cancelled

Bree: Oh Lynette, I'm so swamped today. My house is a mess and I've got millions of errands to run.

Lynette: Please hear me out, this is important. Today I have a chance to rejoin the human race for a few hours, there are actual adults waiting for me with margaritas.Look I'm in a dress, I have make up on.

Bree: If it were any other day.

(Lynette is desperate by this point.)

Lynette: Oh for God's sake Bree, I'm wearing panty-hose.

Bree: Bring them in.

Lynette: Thank you, thank you. Alright in you go.

[INT: Mayer House-Kitchen-Day]

(Susan and her mom are cooking.)

Susan: And then the police showed me his mug shots.

Sophie: No!

Susan: Yes! Mike served time for selling drugs and manslaughter

Sophie: I can't believe it.

Susan: Well, it's true.

Sophie: And he had such nice manners, you know.

Susan: I know.

Sophie: Susie, I don't want you worrying too much about this Mike thing. The right man will come along. Just give it time.

Susan: I think I would have given up entirely if it weren't for you and Morty.

Sophie: Morty?

Susan: Yeah, you know, it's the third time around for both of you, and you're really clicking. It gives me hope.

(Susan's eyes are watering from the onion she's chopping.)

Susan: What's wrong?

Sophie: Nothing, nothing. Um, I'm just tired.

Susan: You're not tired. You took a nap. What is it?

Sophie: I left Morty.

Susan: What? Why?

Sophie: Because he shoved me.

Susan: Morty? No!!

Sophie: You think I'm lying? Huh! Fine!

Susan: Why would he shove you?

Sophie: Because I confronted him. About how much time he's spending at the damned pancake restaurant. If that's where he's really been.

Susan: Oh, you can't be serious? Morty?

Sophie: You think that men his age don't have needs? You should see the waitresses he hires. Every year they get younger and younger.

Susan: Alright, maybe you just feel that way because every year you get older and older.

Sophie: Well, that's a horrible thing to say.

Susan: I'm sorry.

Sophie: I'm not that old.

Susan: I said I was sorry.

Sophie: People think we're sisters.

Susan: Well, that's because you tell people that.

Sophie: One time! You've got to let go of that.

Susan: Okay, look; I'm just saying I don't think Morty cheated on you.

Sophie: Well, he did shove me. The least you can do is be supportive.

Susan: Alright, alright.

Sophie: He also threw a book at me.

Susan: Oh, come on!

Sophie: Huh!

Susan: I mean-He shouldn't have done that.

Sophie: Thank you.

[INT: Van Den Camp House? Dining Room- Day]

(The baby (Penny) is in her pram, while two of the boys are scribbling over coloring books, while Porter is in the kitchen reaching for the fresh cookies.)

Bree: Porter, honey, those cookies are hot. Just wait a few minutes and I'll give you one when they're cool, okay.

(Bree turns back to the boys coloring in.)

Bree: You know pictures are prettier if you colour inside the lines.

(The boys pause then go back to their scribbling.)

Bree: Well, art is subjective.

(turns back to the kitchen.)

Bree: Porter, what did I tell you?

Porter: But I'm hungry.

Bree: Well, then I will fix you a very nice bowl of peaches and cottage cheese.

Porter: Ew, Barf!

Bree: Don't be common, young man. Now come on, if you play around with those cookies one more time I'll have to spank you.

(Porter returns to the table.)

Parker: We don't get spanked.

Bree: (unbelieving) Really?!

Porter: Mommy always says she's going to but she never does.

Bree: Well, I'm not your mommy and if you mess around in my house you will get spanked. Now be good.

(Bree goes to check on the baby. Porter sneaks up to steal a cookie, the tray falls.)

(Bree takes a deep breath when she sees the cookies on the floor.)

Porter: It was an accident.

Bree: Porter, I warned you.

Porter: I'm sorry. I'll be good.

Bree: Those cookies were made from scratch. Your fate is sealed. Come here.

(Reaches for him, and pulls him with her to the table. She sits down and places him over her knee and spanks him.)

Porter: No, no. Ow ow, ow ow.

(The boys watch open mouthed as their brother gets spanked.)

[INT: Solis House -Living Room -Day]

(Gabrielle is filing her nails, Carlos places a piece of paper on the coffee table.)

Gabrielle: What's that?

Carlos: It's called a post nuptial agreement. It's a legal document that-

Gabrielle: No, I know what a post-nup is, what is it doing on my coffee table?

Carlos: Well, I can forgive that stunt you pulled with the settlement cheque. If I'm sure that you'll really be around when I get out of jail.

Gabrielle: Hmm, so the post-nup changes the terms of the pre-nup so that-

Carlos: So if you try to divorce me while I'm gone, you'll get nothing.

Gabrielle: You don't trust me?

Carlos: I'm afraid not.

Gabrielle: Well, that's too bad. Cos I'm not signing that piece of paper.

(Carlos puts a pen on top of the paper and stands beside the sofa she's sat on.)

Carlos: You're a very beautiful woman. Gabrielle. But, you're not very bright. If you don't sign it, I'll pull the plug on the settlement agreement, divorce you. And then you get 50% of our current savings, which is basically nothing.

Gabrielle: So what do you expect to happen right now, Carlos? I sign the papers and jump into your arms.

Carlos: This doesn't mean I don't love you. You know I think you're the perfect woman.

Gabrielle: Oh, but I'm not. I have flaws.

Carlos: Flaws?

Gabrielle: Uh huh. I'll even give you an example. Remember the time you were in jail and you told me about your secret compartment and you told me to burn the papers that I found in there. Well, me being pretty and therefore stupid, I forgot.

Carlos: You didn't burn the papers?

Gabrielle: Worse. I read them.

(Gabrielle gets up and confronts Carlos)

Carlos: Okay, okay.

Gabrielle: You have some nerve talking about trust when you have a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands.

Carlos: That was a safety net for both of us.

Gabrielle: I'll bet.

Carlos: Have you told anyone else about this?

Gabrielle: No, but I could. Hey, isn't that why the prosecution didn't have a case against you? They couldn't find the profits you made. So if I were you, Carlos, I wouldn't mention the words divorce, trust or post- nup ever again. You don't wanna piss me off.

(Carlos is angry and throws a vase at the wall, where it smashes.)

Gabrielle: I know baby, it hurts to lose.

[INT: Scavo House -Kitchen-Day]

(Lynette, Susan, Sophie, Bree and Gabrielle are sitting down for an afternoon of poker.)

Susan: Ante up.

Sophie: Well, look at me, finally in on one of your legendary poker parties. Susan's always telling me how much fun you girls have.

Susan: The rules are simple. We play for cash. The dealer picks the game and unsubstantiated gossip is encouraged.

Sophie: Ahhh.

Lynette: Bree, thanks again for watching my boys. You sure they weren't too much to handle?

Bree: Oh no, we had a wonderful time. Although I think Porter had a little less fun. Okay, I'll bet.

Gabrielle: So Sophie, Susan said you're going to the spa tomorrow. Is that an all day thing?

Lynette: What do you mean Porter had less fun? I'll raise.

Bree: Well, Porter was misbehaving so I had to punish him.

Sophie: So yes, Susan is treating me to an entire day of beau-

Lynette: Now when you say punishment, what exactly are you talking about?

Bree: Oh, I had to spank him. Alright I will re-raise.

Lynette: You spanked my son?!

(The table falls silent.)

Sophie: Las prises spa. Yep, that's where we're going.

Bree: Lynnette, is there a problem?

Lynette: Tom and I don't believe in hitting our kids, I thought you knew that.