Desperate Housewives 0120 Original Airdate on ABC: 01-MAY-2005

[INT: Solis House-Day] (Carlos and Gabrielle talking.)

Carlos: I want a child.

Gabrielle: We made a deal. No kids.

(Shots of Carlos changing Gabrielle' s birth control pills.)

[INT: Underground Garage-Night] (Shots of Mike meeting with the policeman to receive the file.)

Sullivan: The file on Noah's daughter.

(Shots of Mike looking through the file and stopping at Paul Young's name on the list of people who bought the toy chest.)

[INT :Young House-Living Room-Night]

( Shots of Edie and Susan searching Paul's house. We see the video which Susan just puts into play as they are shocked by a noise at the door.)

Edie: What are we looking for exactly?

Susan: What was that?

(Shots of Susan jumping behind the sofa.)

[INT: Pharmacy -Day] (Rex is challenging George in the pharmacy.)

Rex: Bree is a lady, a very beautiful, classy lady. Remember they tend to end up with doctors, not pharmacists.

(George looks at him as if he wants to kill him. Then we see George throwing a bottle of pills in the bin.)

End of Recap

[INT: Mayer House-Susan's Bedroom-Night] (Susan is writing in bed, she stops and looks at a photo of her and baby Julie on her bedside table.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: Since she was a little girl, Susan Meyer wanted to be a mother in the worst way.

(We fade into a series of flashbacks.)

[INT: Old Mayer House-Day]

(Susan, in an old house places baby Julie on the sofa carefully.)

Susan: You're so cute, yeah.

(She goes to fetch a bottle from the other side of the room.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: And from the first day she brought Julie home from the hospital she was.

(When she turns back, the baby is gone.)

Susan: Oh! Oh! How did you get down there? That's not funny.

(Susan picks up baby Julie from the floor.)

[INT: Old Mayer House-Day]

(This is a different flashback-Susan is getting all the required baby stuff together to go out. She is incredibly flustered. She throws a towel over her shoulder, picks up her bag and leaves the house.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: Despite her desire to do well by her daughter,

(Baby Julie starts crying.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: Susan suffered through countless failures.

(Susan hears the baby crying and comes back.)

Susan: I am so sorry. How did I forget you?

(Susan picks up the baby and attempts to leave for the second time.)

[EXT: Park-the Roundabout-Day] (Susan is pushing young Julie on the roundabout and having a great time.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: Of course it took Susan a few years to realise that even the best of parents make mistakes now and then.

(Susan looks down to brush dirt from her dungarees. When she looks up she realises that the roundabout is going around without her daughter being on it. she rushes round to where her daughter fell off to comfort her.)

[INT: Mayer House-Susan's Bedroom-Night] (We return to the present and hears a strange noise outside.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: But now that Julie was a teenage girl, Susan had started to realise-

(Susan gets up and goes to the window. As she looks out she sees Zach standing in her garden throwing pebbles at a window further down her house. She is not impressed with what she sees.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: There was no room for error.

[INT: Mayer House -Julie's Bedroom -Night] (Susan enters her daughter's room to find her lying in bed with a pillow over her head, trying to ignore the noise at her window.)

Susan: Julie, what is Zach doing out there? I thought I told you not to speak to him anymore?

Julie: I'm not! That's why he's throwing gravel at my window.

Susan: I'm going to handle this once and for all .

(Susan goes over to Julie's window.)

[EXT: Mayer House -Garden-Night] (Zach picks up a handful of pebbles from the garden and throws them all up at Julie's window, which is now open as Susan tells him off.)

Susan: Zach! What do you think you are? Argh! argh! (screams as the rocks hit her in the face.)

(Julie is shocked by her mother's screams and goes to the window. Zach is standing sheepishly in the garden and gives her a little wave.)

[INT: Mayer House -Living Room-Night] (Susan is lying on the sofa as Julie puts drops in her eyes. Zach is pacing in the background trying to apologise for his actions.)

Zach: Mrs Meyer, I'm so sorry. It's just-well, one pebble wasn't working, so I tried a whole handful .

Susan: Ow ow.

Zach: Look, I'll make it up to you.

Susan: (angry) How? Are you going to give me your corneas ?

Julie: Mom, lay back.

Zach: I just wanted to talk to Julie, she hasn't been returning my phone calls.

Julie: (fed up) Well, I'm here now. What do you want?

Zach: C'on, Julie, I just want to see you again. You know, talk, hang out.

Julie: Maybe it would be better if we just cooled it for a while, okay?

(Susan is in the background trying to look in the mirror to see if there is any permanent damage done.)

Zach: Why?

Susan: (sarcastically) Well, you just threw rocks in her mother's face. How's that for a start?

(Zach gets disheartened and leaves with his head down low. Susan has made an eye wash and puts it to her eye and tips her head back.)

Julie: Thank you so much. I have been trying to find a way to break up with him for weeks, you finally gave me an excuse.

Mary Alice Voiceover: Yes, Susan had failed many times as a mother?

Julie: You did good, mom.

Mary Alice Voiceover: So she took her victories where she found them.

Susan: You're welcome.

Opening Credits

[EXT: Wisteria Lane-Day] (Over head and establishing shots of a sunny wisteria lane, birds are chirping in the background.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: Spring comes every year to wisteria lane. It's the time when flowers start to bloom. When butterflies emerge from their cocoons . When bees begin to search for nectar .

[EXT: Flower show-Day]

(George smells a beautiful pink orchid and looks over his shoulder where we see Bree and Rex.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: Spring is also the time when a young man's fancy turns to obsession .

(George goes over to Bree and Rex.)

George: Hello there.

Bree: (shocked to see him) Oh, my heavenly days. Rex, look, it's George.

George: It's great to see you Bree, Rex.

Rex: George.

George: (to Rex) So how's your health?

Rex: Not good, and my cardiologist is an idiot.

Bree: The doctor upped his dosage twice and it's still not helping.

(Rex is not amused that his wife is telling the man he hates about his health.)

George: I'm sure it will all work itself out . You know, it's funny running into you both. I happen to have extra tickets to a bonsai exposition in Mount Pleasant Friday night. Would you like to go?

Bree: (accepts straight away) I would love to. Rex?

Rex: A whole evening of bonsai trees? Wouldn't it be easier to just shoot me?

George: (straight faced) Probably.

(George laughs, Bree joins in and touches George on his shoulder. George goes to put his hand over hers and is thrilled by her touch.)

Bree: Well, why don't we just go by ourselves then?

Rex: Uh, actually Bree we have that thing Friday night.

Bree: What thing? We don't have a thing.

George: Actually, I think what your husband is trying to say is that he doesn't want you going out with me.

Bree: Rex, are you still jealous?

Rex: No.

Bree: It's true that we dated during the separation, but George and I are just friends now, aren't we?

George: Strictly platonic . But if you feel threatened?

Rex: I don't feel threatened. (obviously lying)

Bree: Good, then it's a date.

(Bree links arms with both Rex and George and they walk away.)

George: So are you going to make a purchase today?

Bree: Do you know, I've finally convinced Rex to buy his first orchid .

George: Make sure you study up . I hate people who own precious flowers and don't know how to take proper care of them. (obvious subtext going on here, that they're really talking about Bree.)

Rex: You know what I hate? Weeds. They just pop up out of nowhere and you have to work so hard to get rid of them.

George: I find that with the right chemicals you can get rid of anything. (to Bree) I'll see you Friday.

[INT:Car Shop-Day]

(Gabrielle is lovingly running her hand over a gorgeous blue convertible.)

Sales Assistant: Mrs Solis, what a surprise. We haven't seen you in here for quite some time.

Gabrielle: Yes, yes, I know. My husband and I went through a downsizing phase. But we've snapped out of it. Life is good. And this would make it so much better.

Sales Assistant: Excellent. Slip inside, see how that feels.

(She opens the door and Gabrielle slips into the drivers side.)

Gabrielle: Oh, I would love to have this in my driveway by Saturday. I'm having a big barbeque and I want everyone to see it.

Sales Assistant: How exciting, what's the occasion?

Gabrielle: I'm throwing my husband a going-away party.

Sales Assistant: Really, where's he going?

Gabrielle: (doesn't want to say that he's going to jail) It's-it's a sort of- a government sponsored sabbatical-

Sales Assistant: How long is he going to be gone?

Gabrielle: Eight months. (quietly to herself) Six with good behaviour.

(The sales assistant hears the "six with good behaviour" part and looks a bit confused Gabrielle smiles, but suddenly her face scrunches up-the smell of the car is making her nauseous.)

Sales Assistant: Isn't the leather interior wonderful?

Gabrielle: It is. Its is. (she covers her nose trying to block the smel) It's just the smell is a little intense .

Sales Assistant: That's because it was imported from Italy. It's made of 100% Italian calf .

(Gabrielle nods and tries to smile but ultimately ends up spilling her lunch in the passenger seat. The sales assistant looks disgusted.)

[INT: Car shop-Day] (Gabrielle is now out of the car and there is a team of cleaners in the car trying to remove the sick.)

Gabrielle: I am so sorry, it just hit me out of nowhere. It is so weird, smells have been making me nauseous lately.

Sales Assistant: Ribs tender ? achy back?

Gabrielle: Yeah, why has it been going around?

Sales Assistant: Only for centuries. I went through it all when I was carrying my eldest . The truth is, (looks at the car that Gabrielle was just sick in) you're never going to fit a child safety seat in the back of that tiny spider anyway. The four doors are much roomier.

(She heads off to show Gabrielle the alternative cars. Gabrielle doesn't follow her though.)

Gabrielle: What? Wait? You think I'm pregnant ? No, I'm not pregnant.

Sales Assistant: Oh, you just have all the symptoms . I just assumed.

Gabrielle: Well, you assumed wrong.

Sales Assistant: Well, I'm sorry.

Gabrielle: I'm on the pill for god's sakes.

Sales Assistant: Okay .(highly uncomfortable)

Gabrielle: And another thing, I don't want a four door. I want a sexy little convertible. And I want to buy one. Right now.

Sales Assistant: I'll go start the paperwork.

Gabrielle: Well, not this one. 'Cos I vomited in this one.

Sales Assistant: (acting as if she's placating the crazy lady she's dealing with) We'll find you a fresh one.

(Gabrielle smiles as the sales assistant walks off, but starts to look worried as the thought she could be pregnant goes around her head.)

[INT: Peterson's - Tom's Office -Day] (Lynette walks into the office carrying a file. She is all smiles and nods hi to the receptionist.)

Tom: Lynette!

Lynette: (sees Tom working with a woman, whose back is turned to her) You forgot your Helprin file.

(The woman turns around and Lynette is in total shock as she recognises her.)

Annabel: Oh, my god, Lynette.

Mary Alice Voiceover: If there was one person Lynette never expected to see again, it was Annabel Foster. (Annabel smiles at Lynette who looks as if she's about to faint from shock.)

[INT: Peterson's -Elevator -Day] (The elevator pings and the doors of the elevator open to show us a couple making out, it's Tom and Annabel. They stock when they realise that the doors are open, not wanting anyone to see.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: Eight years earlier, Annabel had begged Tom to marry her, but he told her he wasn't the marrying kind.

(The elevator doors ping again and we see Annabel and Tom talking intimately in the elevator with their heads touching, they are obviously in a relationship and don't care who sees them.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: Then one-day Tom happened to meet a rising young executive by the name of Lynette Linquist.

(Lynette enters the elevator, she's wearing a suit, not like the Lynette we know now. Annabel gives Tom a last kiss and leaves the elevator. Tom and Lynette glance at each other. The doors shut.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: And after a few torrid weeks, Tom decided perhaps he was the marrying kind after all.

(The elevator doors ping again and we see Tom and Lynette making out even more heatedly than he was with Annabel in the previous scene. Tom only stops kissing Lynette to close the doors, and they get back to kissing again.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: Causing an embittered Annabel to move back to Chicago permanently.

(The elevator doors ping again and open to an empty elevator. Annabel gets into the elevator alone, carrying a box of items from her cleared out desk. She looks MAD!)

[INT: Peterson's -Tom's Office-Day] (We flash back to the present.)

Mary Alice Voiceover: Or so Lynette had hoped.

(Lynette is still standing there shell shocked as Annabel comes over to her and gives her a hug.)

Annabel: You look fantastic.

Lynette: Oh, thank you. And you. You're here. In the office. Tom's office.

Annabel: Yeah, going on three months now. Didn't Tom tell you? (She almost seems to be taunting her here.)

Lynette: It uh, must have slipped his mind .

(Both turn to look at Tom.)

Tom: Huh?

Annabel: Aaah, afraid to tell the wife you're working with the ex, eh? I guess that makes me your dirty little secret. (She's teasing him.)

(Tom laughs with Annabel at this. Lynette can't believe what she's seeing. And when he looks at Lynette, he knows he's stuffed up and is in for it when he gets home.)

Lynette: Well, I'll let you get back to work. I'll see you later.

Tom: Can't wait.

Lynette: I almost forgot, your file. Here. (Lynette literally throws the file at Tom's head.)

Tom: Wow. (Nervous laughter by both Tom and Annabel)

[EXT: Wisteria Lane-Britt Building Site-Day] (Edie is looking over some blueprints for her new house, with builders and Mike working in the background. Paul approaches her.)

Edie: Hey, Paul, what's up?

Paul: Something's been nagging at me, Edie, and I wanted to talk to you about it.

Edie: Okay.

(Mike is watching closely the conversation between these two.)

Paul: That night I found you in my house, why were you really there?

Edie: You know why, I came to drop off your key.

(Mike is faking work as he eavesdrops.)

Paul: Some things were moved around in my living room. What were you looking for?

Edie: (acts confused) What are you talking about?

Paul: Do I have to call the police?

Edie: (her face hardens) Do whatever you want.

Paul: Suit yourself. (Paul walks off, but Edie worries about what to do, she doesn't want to get arrested, so she calls him back.)

Edie: Okay, okay. Susan made me do it.

(Mike stops faking when he hears Susan's name mentioned.)

Edie: (Once she starts she can't stop) She has this fixation on why Mary Alice killed herself and she keeps blathering on about blackmail notes and dead babies. Oh, and she got really hot and bothered when she found the name Angela written on one of your videotapes.

Paul: Did she find what she was looking for?

Edie: No, you came home before she had a chance to watch the video.

Paul: I see.

Edie: She sort of thinks you're evil.

Paul: Thank you, Edie.

(Paul leaves and Mike comes up to Edie to try and find out what was happening.)

Mike: What was that all about?

Edie: Susan Meyer's obsession with Mary Alice nearly got me arrested. And now Paul's after her. If I liked her better I'd warn her. But, you know-

[INT: Coffee Shop-Day] (Susan is collecting her coffee.)

Susan: (to the woman who hands her the coffee) Thanks.

(She sees Mike approaching outside. She gets flustered and tries to avoid him by sitting down with a group of women, whose conversation stops when she sits down. They all look at her, wondering what's going on.)

Mike: Susan?

(Susan knows she's caught, but still tries to fake her way out of the situation.)

Susan: I'll talk to you girls later.

Mike: Still avoiding me, huh?

Susan: No, no. What do you want?

Mike: I heard that you and Edie broke into Paul Young's house.

Susan: Who told you that?

Mike: Edie.

(Susan knows she's been caught out.)

Susan: Well, yeah, we did. We were just looking. It doesn't matter, it was dumb.

Mike: Listen, I want you to stay away from that guy.

Susan: Well, I was planning on doing that anyway.

Mike: Good. (He turns to leave but Susan stops him.)

Susan: Mike, I know why I was planning to stay away from him, but why do you want me to stay away from him?

Mike: I just know he's a bad guy. So please don't mess with him.

Susan: I won't (he looks at her, like "yeah right"). I promise.

[INT: Van Den Kemp House-Kitchen/ Dining Room-Day]

(Bree is making up a flower arrangement when Rex approaches her.)

Rex: So, I've been thinking about the pharmacist.

Bree: George. What about him?

Rex: I don't think you should go out with him.

Bree: Please don't be this way. He's the only friend I have who is interested in cultural things.

Rex: Bree! I'm worried because he is obviously still in love with you.

Bree: No. He just wants to be friends. He told me so.

Rex: What else would a man in love say? He's desperate to spend time with you.

Bree: He does not seem desperate to me.

Rex: I saw the way his hands trembled when you touched his shoulder.

Bree: They did? (She's thrilled by this news.)

Rex: When we first started dating the same thing happened to me.

Bree: I don't remember that. (She's pleased at his confession.)

Rex: Listen, continuing to see him would just give him false hope.

Bree: Well, I certainly don't want to hurt him, again.

Rex: No, you don't. I even think it would be a good idea to switch pharmacies.

Bree: Really? (pauses what she's doing) Well, okay. You know what I'm going to miss most about him? George always has a way of making me feel good about myself.

Rex: Yeah, he's a terrific guy.

(Bree walks away with the new flowers and smiles as she turns to ask Rex.)

Bree: Honey, do your hands still tremble when they touch me?

Rex: No! (don't be silly) But, come on, we've been married 18 years.

Bree: Yes, we have. (Bree sighs at the answer her husband gave her.). And you still don't know when I need you to lie.

(Bree leaves, and Rex feels bad. Rex shakes out more of his pills, to take one.)

[INT: Pharmacy-Day]

(Gabrielle searches through the aisles to find a pregnancy test, she's really on edge.)

Gabrielle: Excuse me. This home pregnancy test-is it a good one?

Ginger: (not really interested) I guess.

Gabrielle: Okay, do you have a rest room?

Ginger: It's for employees only.

(George overhears the conversation and knowing that Gabrielle is a friend of Bree's is very accommodating.)

George: It's right over there, Mrs Solis. Help yourself.

Gabrielle: Thank you.

George: (in a nasty voice to Ginger) What did I tell you about being rude to customers? You'll stick a smile on your face or I'll keep you in back stocking shelves where no one has to look at you.

(Bree enters, looking for George.)

George: (all smiles again after berating Ginger) Bree, what are you doing here? Didn't we just fill Dr Van Den Kemp's prescription last week?

Bree: George, as it turns out I won't be able to go with you to the bonsai expo.

George: Why not?

Bree: I think it would be a mistake for us to spend too much time together.

George: Dr Van Den Kemp said something about me. What was it?

Bree: It doesn't matter.

George: Please, tell me.

Bree: He said you're still in love with me.

George: That, that's stupid. I'm not in love with you. I'm not. The truth is, I'm in love with Ginger. (all said without a hint of feeling.)

Bree: Ginger? The stock girl?

George: Yes, it's very serious. (They both look towards Ginger, who stands there looking awkward and uncomfortable.)

Bree: (She's very excited by this news and doesn't click that he's lying) Why didn't you tell me?

George: Well, we're taking it slow. But she is definitely the one

Bree: Oh my goodness, well, this changes everything. A friend of mine is having a barbeque for her husband on Saturday and I think you should come.

George: Really?

Bree: Yes. And bring Ginger.

George: Ginger? I don't think she can make it.

Bree: Well, you have to bring Ginger, because if Rex sees the two of you together, then he'll relax.

Gabrielle (off screen): SON OF A bitch!!!

(Bree and George turn in shock to see Gabrielle storm out of the toilet.)

Gabrielle: You are out of toilet paper. (to Bree) Bree I'll call you later.

(Everyone in the store watches as hurricane Gabrielle blazes through.)

[INT: Scavo House-Living Room-Night]

(Tom comes home from work, calls out for his wife.)

Tom: Lynette? Honey, are you home?

Lynette: (from behind him, by the windows) Three months?

Tom: God, you cared the hell out of me.

Lynette: Were you ever going to tell me?

Tom: I wanted to, but I kept putting it off. I knew how you'd react

Lynette: Congratulations. You read me like a book. Why would you hire that woman?

Tom: Technically Peterson found her. I just vouched for her.

Lynette: Tom!

Tom: Come on honey, I'm just helping her out. It's the least I can do, look, she was devastated when I left her for you. I felt bad.

Lynette: Do you still have feelings for her?

Tom: (puts his hands up) Alright, I'm not talking to you. (He leaves to go upstairs.)

Lynette: C'on, you can tell me. You still care about her, don't you, just a teeny tiny little bit?

Tom: I was just trying to be a good guy. That's all.

Lynette: Well, you can't work with her.

Tom: What do you want me to do? Quit?

Lynette: Talk to Peterson, maybe he can get her transferred. Weren't you guys talking about setting something up in Belize?

Tom: You're crazy.

Lynette: No. I'm serious. If she stays, I will haunt your office. I will bring you lunch everyday. I will bring the kids to visit. I will change diapers on your desk. Every birthday cake in the break room, every retirement party, I will be there. Watching her.

Tom: Well, I'd better get you a parking space. She's staying.

(Lynette stares after him. She can't believe what Tom just said.)

[INT: Mayer House-Kitchen-Day]

(Sophie is hammering hanging beads over the doorway.)

Sophie: Don't you think it spices up the room?

(Susan doesn't look convinced. The doorbell goes before she has to answer her mother.)

[EXT: Wisteria Lane -Outside Mayer House -Day]

(Zach is delivering a pot plant to apologise for the other night.)

Zach: Oh, I was just leaving you a gift. To apologise for, you know, throwing gravel in your face.

Susan: (She picks up the plan) You didn't have to do that.

Zach: No, I kind of did. You see I want us to be friends.

Susan: Yeah, well, that's not going to happen.

Zach: Why not?

Susan: Aside from you nearly blinding me. Several weeks ago you freaked out in my house: you screamed, you threw furniture around.

Zach: Okay, look, I realise I was out of line that night. But I was upset. And we have to get over that, for Julie's sake.

Susan: (doesn't quite understand) For Julie's sake?

Zach: How do you think it makes her feel that her mother and her boyfriend can't even get along?

Susan: (She says this quietly, to try and say what she has to without upsetting Zach) Zach, Julie does not think of you as her boyfriend. In fact I don't think she wants anything to do with you.

Zach: She said that?

Susan: Yeah.

Zach: I don't believe you.

Susan: (gives him back the plant) Believe whatever you want.

(Susan turns to go back into her house. Zach is angry and goes to follow her.)

Zach: Well, if she said that, it's because you tell her stuff about me that's not true.

Paul (from across the street): Zach! Come here.

(Mrs Tilman is watering plants outside and watches all the commotion.)

Paul: Right now!

Zach: Please. Don't ruin this for me.

(Mrs Tilman watches Zach walk back across the street utterly dejected and we fade into a flashback.)

[INT: Mrs Tilman's House -Day - Past] (Mrs Tilman is pouring tea for her and her sister. Mrs Huber is looking at photographs on her table.)

Mrs Huber: (off screen) How do you know Mary Alice?

Mrs Tilman: Who?

Mrs Huber: Mary Alice Young. She lives next door to me in Fairview. She's standing right here in this picture with you. (shows her sister the picture)

Mrs Tilman: That's Angela Forrest, we worked together at the rehab centre fifteen years ago.

Mrs Huber: Don't be dense, Felicia. Don't you think I even know my own neighbour?

Mrs Tilman: (confused, but wonders) Does this Mary Alice have children?

Mrs Huber: A teenager. A boy.

(Mrs Huber sits down opposite her sister, and when she sees the look on Mrs Tilman's face, she pries for all the gossip.)

Mrs Huber: What?

Mrs Tilman: Angela and I worked together with a very disturbed young woman who gave birth to a baby boy. About a year later Angela and her husband disappeared. (Mrs Huber is hooked to the story) Not long after that, I heard that the child was missing too. People said that it was just a coincidence, but in my heart I always hoped that she had given the child a proper home.

Mrs Huber: Are you saying she stole the baby?

Mrs Tilman: Don't look shocked, Martha, it makes your face look fat. (Now we know why Mrs Huber acts as she does with a relationship with her sister like this.)

Mrs Tilman: The biological mother was a drug addict ! If Angela really is your neighbour, which I doubt, then that child was very lucky.

(fade back to present)

[EXT - Wisteria Lane -Mrs Tilman's House -Day]

(Tilman continues to watch Zach walk back across the street to his father.)

[INT: Peterson's -Break Room-Day] (Annabel pours herself a cup of tea.)