out with fear, lest it should not lay hold on me, these words did
sound suddenly within my heart: HE IS ABLE. But methought, this

word ABLE, was spoke loud unto me; it showed a GREAT WORD, it
seemed to be writ in GREAT LETTERS, and gave such a jostle to my

fear and doubt (I mean for the time it tarried with me, which was
about a day) as I never had from that, all my life, either before

or after. Heb. vii. 25.
204. But one morning as I was again at prayer, and trembling under

the fear of this, THAT NO WORD OF GOD COULD HELP ME, that piece of
a sentence darted in upon me, MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT. At this,

methought I felt some stay, as if there might be hopes. But, oh!
how good a thing it is for God to send His word! for, about a

fortnight before, I was looking on this very place, and then I
thought it could not come near my soul with comfort, therefore I

threw down my book in a pet: then I thought it was not large
enough for me; no, not large enough; but now it was as if it had

arms of grace so wide, that it could not only enclose me, but many
more such as I besides.

205. By these words I was sustained, yet not without exceeding
conflicts, for the space of seven or eight weeks; for my peace

would be in it, and out, sometimes twenty times a day; comfort now,
and trouble presently; peace now, and before I could go a furlong,

as full of fear and guilt as ever heart could hold. And this was
not only now and then, but my whole seven weeks' experience: for

this about THE SUFFICIENCY OF GRACE, and THAT of ESAU'S parting
with his birthright, would be like a pair of scales within my mind;

sometimes one end would be uppermost, and sometimes again the
other; according to which would be my peace or trouble.

206. Therefore I did still pray to God, that He would come in with
this scripture more fully on my heart; to wit, that He would help

me to apply the whole sentence, for as yet I could not: that He
gave, that I gathered; but farther I could not go, for as yet it

only helped me to hope there might be mercy for me; MY GRACE IS
SUFFICIENT: And though it came no farther, it answered my former

question, to wit, That there was hope; yet because FOR THEE was
left out, I was not contented, but prayed to God for that also.

Wherefore, one day, when I was in a meeting of God's people, full
of sadness and terror; for my fears again were strong upon me; and,

as I was now thinking, my soul was never the better, but my case
most sad and fearful, these words did with great power suddenly

break in upon me; MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR THEE, MY GRACE IS
SUFFICIENT FOR THEE, MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR THEE, three times

together: And oh! methought that every word was a mighty word unto
me; as MY, and GRACE, and SUFFICIENT, and FOR THEE; they were then,

and sometimes are still, far bigger than others be.
207. At which time my understanding was so enlightened, that I was

as though I had seen the Lord Jesus look down from heaven, through
the tiles upon me, and direct these words unto me. This sent me

mourning home; it broke my heart, and filled me full of joy, and
laid me low as the dust; only it stayed not long with me, I mean in

this glory and refreshing comfort; yet it continued with me for
several weeks, and did encourage me to hope: but as soon as that

powerful operation of it was taken from my heart, that other, about
ESAU, returned upon me as before: so my soul did hang as in a pair

of scales again, sometimes up, and sometimes down; now in peace,
and anon again in terror.

208. Thus I went on for many weeks, sometimes comforted, and
sometimes tormented; and especially at sometimes my torment would

be very sore, for all those scriptures forenamed in the HEBREWS,
would be set before me, as the only sentences that would keep me

out of heaven. Then again I would begin to repent that ever that
thought went through me; I would also think thus with myself: WHY,

HOW MANY SCRIPTURES ARE THERE AGAINST ME? THERE ARE BUT THREE OR
FOUR; AND CANNOT GOD MISS THEM, AND SAVE ME FOR ALL THEM?

Sometimes again I would think, OH! IF IT WERE NOT FOR THESE THREE
OR FOUR WORDS, NOW HOW MIGHT I BE COMFORTED! And I could hardly

forbear at some times, to wish them out of the book.
209. Then methought I should see as if both PETER and PAUL, and

JOHN, and all the writers, did look with scorn upon me, and hold me
in derision; and as if they had said unto me, ALL OUR WORDS ARE

TRUTH, ONE OF AS MUCH FORCE AS ANOTHER: IT IS NOT WE THAT HAVE CUT
YOU OF, BUT YOU HAVE CAST AWAY YOURSELF. THERE IS NONE OF OUR

SENTENCES THAT YOU MUST TAKE HOLD UPON, BUT THESE AND SUCH AS
THESE; IT IS IMPOSSIBLE, Heb. vi.; THERE REMAINS NO MORE SACRIFICE

FOR SIN, Heb. x. AND IT HAD BEEN BETTER FOR THEM NOT TO HAVE KNOWN
THE WILL OF GOD, THAN AFTER THEY HAD KNOWN IT, TO TURN FROM THE

HOLY COMMANDMENT DELIVERED UNTO THEM, 2 Peter ii. 21. FOR THE
SCRIPTURES CANNOT BE BROKEN. John x. 35.

210. These, as the elders of the city of refuge, I saw, were to be
judges both of my case and me, while I stood with the AVENGER of

blood at my heels, trembling at their gate for deliverance; also
with a thousand fears and mistrusts, I doubted that they would shut

me out for ever. Joshua xx. 3. 4.
211. Thus I was confounded, not knowing what to do, or how to be

satisfied in this question, WHETHER THE SCRIPTURES COULD AGREE IN
THE SALVATION OF MY SOUL? I quaked at the apostles; I knew their

words were true, and that they must stand for ever.
212. And I remember one day, as I was in divers frames of spirit,

and considering that these frames were according to the nature of
several scriptures that came in upon my mind; if this of grace,

then was I quiet; but of that of ESAU, then tormented. Lord,
thought I, IF BOTH THESE SCRIPTURES SHOULD MEET IN MY HEART AT

ONCE, I WONDER WHICH OF THEM WOULD GET THE BETTER OF ME. So
methought I had a longing mind that they might come both together

upon me; yea, I desired of God they might.
213. Well, about two or three days after, so they did indeed; they

bolted both upon me at a time, and did work and struggle strangely
in me for a while; at last that about ESAU'S birthright began to

wax weak, and withdraw, and vanish; and this, about the sufficiency
of grace prevailed with peace and joy. And as I was in a muse

about this thing, that scripture came in upon me, MERCY REJOICETH
AGAINST JUDGMENT. James ii. 13.

214. This was a wonderment to me; yet truly, I am apt to think it
was of God; for the word of the law and wrath, must give place to

the word of life and grace; because, though the word of
condemnation be glorious, yet the word of life and salvation doth

far exceed in glory. 2 Cor. iii. 8-11. MARK ix. 5-7. JOHN vi.
37. Also that MOSES and ELIAS must both vanish, and leave Christ

and His saints alone.
215. This scripture also did now most sweetly visit my soul; AND

HIM THAT COMETH TO ME, I WILL IN NO WISE CAST OUT. Oh! the comfort
that I had from this word, IN NO WISE! As who should say, BY NO

MEANS, FOR NOTHING WHATEVER HE HATH DONE. But Satan would greatly
labour to pull this promise from me, telling of me, THAT CHRIST DID

NOT MEAN ME AND SUCH AS I, BUT SINNERS OF A LOWER RANK, THAT HAD
NOT DONE AS I HAD DONE. But I would answer him again, SATAN, HERE

IS IN THESE WORDS NO SUCH EXCEPTION; BUT HIM THAT COMES, HIM, ANY
HIM: HIM THAT COMETH TO ME I WILL IN NO WISE CAST OUT. And this I

well remember still, that of all the slights that Satan used to
take this scripture from me, yet he never did so much as put this

question, BUT DO YOU COME ARIGHT? And I have thought the reason
was, because he thought I knew full well what coming aright was;

for I saw that to come aright, was to come as I was, a vile and