FOR OF JUDGMENT, AND FIERY INDIGNATION, WHICH SHALL DEVOUR THE



ADVERSARIES. Heb. x. 26, 27. AS ESAU, WHO FOR ONE MORSEL OF MEAT,

SOLD HIS BIRTHRIGHT. FOR YE KNOW HOW THAT AFTERWARD, WHEN HE WOULD



HAVE INHERITED THE BLESSING, HE WAS REJECTED; FOR HE FOUND NO PLACE

OF REPENTANCE, THOUGH HE SOUGHT IT CAREFULLY WITH TEARS. Heb. xii.



16, 17.

197. Now was the word of the gospel forced from my soul; so that



no promise or encouragement was to be found in the Bible for me:

and now would that saying work upon my spirit to afflict me,



REJOICE NOT, O ISRAEL, FOR JOY, AS OTHER PEOPLE. Hos. ix. 1. For

I saw indeed, there was cause of rejoicing for those that held to



Jesus; but for me, I had cut myself off by my transgressions, and

left myself neither foot-hold, or hand-hold, among all the stays



and props in the precious word of life.

198. And truly, I did now feel myself to sink into a gulph, as an



house whose foundation is destroyed; I did liken myself in this

condition, unto the case of some child that was fallen into a mill-



pit, who though it could make some shift to scramble and sprawl in

the water, yet because it could find neither hold for hand nor



foot, therefore at last it must die in that condition. So soon as

this fresh assault had fastened on my soul, that scripture came



into my heart, This FOR MANY DAYS. Dan. x. 14. And indeed I found

it was so; for I could not be delivered, nor brought to peace



again, until well nigh two years and a half were completely

finished. Wherefore these words, though in themselves, they tended



to discouragement, yet to me, who feared this condition would be

eternal, they were at some times as an help and refreshment to me.



199. For, thought I, MANY DAYS are not for ever, MANY DAYS will

have an end; thereforeseeing I was to be afflicted not a few but



MANY DAYS, yet I was glad it was but FOR MANY DAYS. Thus, I say, I

would recall myself sometimes, and give myself an help, for as soon



as ever the words came into my mind, at first, I knew my trouble

would be long, yet this would be but sometimes; for I could not



always think on this, nor ever be helped by it, though I did.

200. Now while the scriptures lay before me, and laid sin anew at



my door, that saying, in Luke xviii. 1, with others, did encourage

me to prayer: then the tempter laid again at me very sore,



suggesting, THAT NEITHER THE MERCY OF GOD, NOR YET THE BLOOD OF

CHRIST, DID AT ALL CONCERN ME, NOR COULD THEY HELP ME FOR MY SIN;



THEREFORE IT WAS BUT IN VAIN TO PRAY. Yet, thought I, I WILL PRAY.

BUT, said the tempter, YOUR SIN IS UNPARDONABLE. Well, said I, I



WILL PRAY. 'Tis to no boot, said he. Yet said I, I WILL PRAY. So

I went to prayer to God; and while I was at prayer, I uttered words



to this effect: LORD, SATAN TELLS ME, THAT NEITHER THY MERCY, NOR

CHRIST'S BLOOD, IS SUFFICIENT TO SAVE MY SOUL: LORD, SHALL I



HONOUR THEE MOST, BY BELIEVING THOU WILT, AND CANST? OR HIM, BY

BELIEVING THOU NEITHER WILT NOT NOR CANST? LORD, I WOULD FAIN



HONOUR THEE, BY BELIEVING THOU WILT AND CANST.

201. And as I was thus before the Lord, that scripture fastened on



my heart (O man, great is thy faith), Matt. xv. 28, even as if one

had clapped me on the back, as I was on my knees before God: yet I



was not able to believe this, that this was a prayer of faith, till

almost six months after; for I could not think that I had faith, or



that there should be a word for me to act faith on; therefore I

should still be, as sticking in the jaws of desperation, and went



mourning up and down in a sad condition.

202. There was nothing now that I longed for more than to be put



out of doubt, as to this thing in question, and as I was vehemently

desiring to know, if there was indeed hope for me, these words came



rolling into my mind, WILL THE LORD CAST OFF FOR EVER? AND WILL HE

BE FAVOURABLE NO MORE? IS HIS MERCY CLEAN GONE FOR EVER? DOTH HIS



PROMISE FAIL FOR EVERMORE? HATH GOD FORGOTTEN TO BE GRACIOUS?

HATH HE IN ANGER SHUT UP HIS TENDER MERCIES? Ps. lxxvii. 7-9. And



all the while they run in my mind, methought I had still this as

the answer, 'TIS A QUESTION WHETHER HE HATH OR NO: IT MAY BE HE



HATH NOT. Yea, the interrogatory seemed to me to carry in it a

sure affirmation that indeed He had not, nor would so cast off, but



would be favourable: that His promise doth not fail, and that He

had not forgotten to be gracious, nor would in anger shut up tender



mercy. Something also there was upon my heart at the same time,

which I cannot now call to mind, which, with this text, did sweeten



my heart, and make me conclude, that His mercy might not be quite

gone, nor clean gone for ever.



203. At another time I remembered, I was again much under this

question, WHETHER THE BLOOD OF CHRIST WAS SUFFICIENT TO SAVE MY



SOUL? in which doubt I continued from morning, till about seven or

eight at night: and at last, when I was, as it were, quite worn

• christ [kraist] n.基督 int.天啊! (初中英语单词)


• driven [´driv(ə)n] drive 的过去分词 (初中英语单词)


• whatever [wɔt´evə] pron.&a.无论什么 (初中英语单词)


• fearful [´fiəfəl] a.可怕的；担心的 (初中英语单词)


• advantage [əd´vɑ:ntidʒ] n.优势；利益 (初中英语单词)


• therefore [´ðeəfɔ:] ad.&conj.因此；所以 (初中英语单词)


• relief [ri´li:f] n.救济；援救；减轻 (初中英语单词)


• consideration [kən,sidə´reiʃən] n.考虑；原因；体谅 (初中英语单词)


• release [ri´li:s] vt&n.释放；放松；赦免 (初中英语单词)


• obtain [əb´tein] v.获得；买到；得到承认 (初中英语单词)


• sentence [´sentəns] n.判决 vt.宣判；处刑 (初中英语单词)


• withdraw [wið´drɔ:] v.收回；撤销；撤退 (初中英语单词)


• despair [di´speə] vi.&n.绝望 (初中英语单词)


• retain [ri´tein] vt.保持；保留；留住 (初中英语单词)


• lightning [´laitniŋ] n.闪电 a.突然的 (初中英语单词)


• pardon [´pɑ:dən] n.&vt.原谅；饶恕；赦免 (初中英语单词)


• reward [ri´wɔ:d] n.&v.报答；报酬；奖赏 (初中英语单词)


• affection [ə´fekʃən] n.友爱；慈爱 (初中英语单词)


• agreement [ə´gri:mənt] n.同意；一致；协议 (初中英语单词)


• disappointment [,disə´pɔintmənt] n.失望；挫折 (初中英语单词)


• blessing [´blesiŋ] n.祝福 (初中英语单词)


• foundation [faun´deiʃən] n.建立；基金；地基 (初中英语单词)


• assault [ə´sɔ:lt] vt.袭击；殴打 n.攻击 (初中英语单词)


• gracious [´greiʃəs] a.和蔼可亲的；任慈的 (初中英语单词)


• salvation [sæl´veiʃən] n.救助；拯救 (高中英语单词)


• grudge [grʌdʒ] vt.&n.吝啬；怨恨 (高中英语单词)


• banish [´bæniʃ] vt.流放；消除(顾虑等) (高中英语单词)


• bitterness [´bitənis] n.苦味；辛酸；苦难 (高中英语单词)


• sweetness [´swi:tnis] n.甜蜜；芳香；亲切 (高中英语单词)


• repent [ri´pent] v.后悔；悔改；悔悟 (高中英语单词)


• encouragement [in´kʌridʒmənt] n.鼓励；赞助；引诱 (高中英语单词)


• forgiveness [fə´givnis] n.原谅，饶恕；宽仁 (高中英语单词)


• beseech [bi´si:tʃ] v.恳求，哀求 (高中英语单词)


• everlasting [,evə´lɑ:stiŋ] a.永久的，无尽的 (高中英语单词)


• strove [strəuv] strive的过去式 (高中英语单词)


• whilst [wailst] conj.当…时候；虽然 (高中英语单词)


• esteem [i´sti:m] n.尊重 vt.认为；感到 (高中英语单词)


• notwithstanding [,nɔtwiθ´stændiŋ] prep.&conj.虽然；还是 (高中英语单词)


• refreshment [ri´freʃmənt] n.精神爽快 (高中英语单词)


• heavenly [´hevənli] a.天的，天空的 (高中英语单词)


• indignation [,indig´neiʃən] n.愤慨；气愤 (高中英语单词)


• devour [di´vauə] vt.吞食；毁坏 (高中英语单词)


• gospel [´gɔspəl] n.福音；信条；真理 (高中英语单词)


• saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ] n.言语；言论；格言 (高中英语单词)


• israel [´izreiəl] n.以色列 (高中英语单词)


• rejoicing [ri´dʒɔisiŋ] n.高兴；欢呼 (高中英语单词)


• scramble [´skræmbəl] v.&n.爬；争夺；炒(蛋) (高中英语单词)


• seeing [si:iŋ] see的现在分词 n.视觉 (高中英语单词)


• saviour [´seiviə] n.救星；救助者 (英语四级单词)


• grievous [´gri:vəs] a.痛苦的；严重的 (英语四级单词)


• barbarous [´bɑ:bərəs] a.野蛮的；不规范的 (英语四级单词)


• filthy [´filθi] a.污秽的，肮脏的 (英语四级单词)


• wherefore [´weəfɔ:] ad.为什么；因此 (英语四级单词)


• morsel [´mɔ:səl] n.佳肴 vt.少量地分配 (英语四级单词)


• afflict [ə´flikt] vt.使痛苦；折磨 (英语四级单词)


• scripture [´skriptʃə] n.手稿；文件；经典 (英语四级单词)


• desperation [,despə´reiʃən] n.铤而走险，拼命 (英语四级单词)


• evermore [,evə´mɔ:] ad.永远，始终 (英语四级单词)


• undone [,ʌn´dʌn] a.未完成的，没有做的 (英语六级单词)


• methought [mi´θɔ:t] methinks的过去式 (英语六级单词)


• fitness [fitnis] n.适合；健康 (英语六级单词)


• horribly [´hɔrəbli] ad.恐怖地 (英语六级单词)


• repentance [ri´pentəns] n.悔悟，悔改；忏悔 (英语六级单词)


• birthright [´bə:θrait] n.生来就有的权利 (英语六级单词)


• sprawl [sprɔ:l] vi.(伸开手足)坐着 (英语六级单词)


• discouragement [dis´kʌrridʒmənt] n.挫折，气馁 (英语六级单词)