life is but a slumber, in comparison with that above. At this time

also I saw more in these words, HEIRS OF GOD, Rom. viii. 17, than
ever I shall be able to express while I live in this world: HEIRS

OF GOD! God Himself is the portion of the saints. This I saw and
wondered at, but cannot tell you what I saw.

260. Again, as I was at another time very ill and weak, all that
time also the tempter did beset me strongly (for I find he is much

for assaulting the soul; when it begins to approach towards the
grave, then is his opportunity), labouring to hide from me my

former experience of God's goodness: also setting before me the
terrors of death, and the judgment of God, insomuch that at this

time, through my fear of miscarrying for ever (should I now die), I
was as one dead before death came, and was as if I had felt myself

already descending into the pit; methought I said, There were no
way, but to hell I must: but behold, just as I was in the midst of

those fears, these words of the angel's carrying LAZARUS into
ABRAHAM'S bosom darted in upon me, as who should say, SO IT SHALL

BE WITH THEE WHEN THOU DOST LEAVE THIS WORLD. This did sweetly
revive my spirit, and help me to hope in God; which when I had with

comfort mused on a while, that word fell with great weight upon my
mind, O DEATH, WHERE IS THY STING? O GRAVE, WHERE IS THY VICTORY?

1 Cor. xv. 55. At this I became both well in body and mind at
once, for my sickness did presentlyvanish, and I walked

comfortably in my work for God again.
261. At another time, though just before I was pretty well and

savoury in my spirit, yet suddenly there fell upon me a great cloud
of darkness, which did so hide from me the things of God and

Christ, that I was as if I had never seen or known them in my life:
I was also so overrun in my soul with a senseless heartless frame

of spirit, that I could not feel my soul to move or stir after
GRACE and LIFE by CHRIST; I was as if my loins were broken, or as

if my hands and feet had been tied or bound with chains. At this
time also I felt some weakness to seize upon my outward man, which

made still the other affliction the more heavy and uncomfortable to
me.

262. After I had been in this condition some three or four days,
as I was sitting by the fire, I suddenly felt this word to sound in

my heart, I MUST GO TO JESUS. At this my former darkness and
atheism fled away, and the blessed things of heaven were set in my

view. While I was on this sudden thus overtaken with surprise,
Wife (said I), is there ever such a scripture, I MUST GO TO JESUS?

She said, she could not tell; therefore I sat musing still, to see
if I could remember such a place: I had not sat above two or three

minutes, but that came bolting in upon me, AND TO AN INNUMERABLE
COMPANY OF ANGELS; and withal, Hebrews twelfth, about the mount

SION, was set before mine eyes. Heb. xii. 22-24.
263. Then with joy I told my wife, O! NOW I KNOW, I KNOW! But

that night was a good night to me, I never had but few better; I
longed for the company of some of God's people, that I might have

imparted unto them what God had showed me. Christ was a precious
Christ to my soul that night; I could scarce lie in my bed for joy,

and peace, and triumph, through Christ. This great glory did not
continue upon me until morning, yet the twelfth of the Author to

the Hebrews, Heb. xii. 22, 23, was a blessedscripture to me for
many days together after this.

264. The words are these: YE ARE COME TO MOUNT SION, AND UNTO THE
CITY OF THE LIVING GOD, THE HEAVENLY JERUSALEM, AND TO AN

INNUMERABLE COMPANY OF ANGELS, TO THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY AND CHURCH
OF THE FIRST-BORN, WHICH ARE WRITTEN IN HEAVEN; AND TO GOD THE

JUDGE OF ALL, AND TO THE SPIRITS OF JUST MEN MADE PERFECT, AND TO
JESUS THE MEDIATOR OF THE NEW COVENANT, AND TO THE BLOOD OF

SPRINKLING, THAT SPEAKETH BETTER THINGS THAN THAT OF ABEL. Through
this blessedsentence the Lord led me over and over, first to this

word, and then to that; and showed me wonderful glory in every one
of them. These words also have oft since that time, been great

refreshment to my spirit. Blessed be God for having mercy on me.
A BRIEF ACCOUNT OF THE AUTHOR'S CALL TO THE WORK OF THE MINISTRY

265. And now I am speaking my experience, I will in this place
thrust in a word or two concerning my preaching" target="_blank" title="n.说教 a.说教的">preaching the word, and of

God's dealing with me in that particular also. For after I had
been about five or six years awakened, and helped myself to see

both the want and worth of Jesus Christ our Lord, and also enabled
to venture my soul upon Him; some of the most able among the saints

with us, I say, the most able for judgment and holiness of life, as
they conceived, did perceive that God had counted me worth to

understand something of His will in His holy and blessed word, and
had given me utterance in some measure, to express what I saw to

others, for edification; therefore they desired me, and that with
much earnestness, that I would be willing, at sometimes to take in

hand, in one of the meetings, to speak a word of exhortation unto
them.

266. The which, though at the first it did much dash and abash my
spirit, yet being still by them desired and entreated, I consented

to their request, and did twice at two several assemblies (but in
private), though with much weakness and infirmity, discover my gift

amongst them; at which they not only seemed to be, but did solemnly
protest, as in the sight of the great God, they were both affected

and comforted; and gave thanks to the Father of mercies, for the
grace bestowed on me.

267. After this, sometimes, when some of them did go into the
country to teach, they would also that I should go with them;

where, though as yet, I did not nor durst not, make use of my gift
in an open way, yet more privately, still, as I came amongst the

good people in those places, I did sometimes speak a word of
admonition unto them also; the which they, as the other, received

with rejoicing at the mercy of God to me-ward, professing their
souls were edified thereby.

268. Wherefore, to be brief; at last, being still desired by the
church, after some solemn prayer to the Lord, with fasting, I was

more particularly called forth, and appointed to a more ordinary
and public preaching" target="_blank" title="n.说教 a.说教的">preaching of the word, not only to and amongst them that

believed, but also to offer the gospel to those who had not yet
received the faith thereof; about which time I did evidently find

in my mind a secret pricking forward thereto; though I bless God,
not for desire of vain-glory; for at that time I was most sorely

afflicted with the fiery darts of the devil, concerning my eternal
state.

269. But yet could not be content, unless I was found in the
exercise of my gift, unto which also I was greatly animated, not

only by the continual desires of the godly, but also by that saying
of PAUL to the CORINTHIANS: I BESEECH YOU, BRETHREN (YE KNOW THE

HOUSEHOLD OF STEPHANAS, THAT IT IS THE FIRST FRUITS OF ACHAIA, AND
THAT THEY HAVE ADDICTED THEMSELVES TO THE MINISTRY OF THE SAINTS)

THAT YE SUBMIT YOURSELVES UNTO SUCH, AND TO EVERY ONE THAT HELPETH
WITH US, AND LABOURETH. 1 Cor. xvi. 15, 16.

270. By this text I was made to see that the Holy Ghost never
intended that men who have gifts and abilities, should bury them in

the earth, but rather did command and stir up such to the exercise
of their gift, and also did commend those that were apt and ready

so to do. THEY HAVE ADDICTED THEMSELVES TO THE MINISTRY OF THE
SAINTS. This scripture, in these days, did continually run in my

mind, to encourage me, and strengthen me in this my work for God; I
have also been encouraged from several other scriptures and

examples of the godly, both specified in the word, and other
ancient histories: ACTS viii. 4 and xviii. 24, 25, etc.; 1 PET.

iv. 10; ROM. xii. 6; FOX'S ACTS and MON.
271. Wherefore, though of myself of all the saints the most

unworthy; yet I, but with great fear and trembling at the sight of
my own weakness, did set upon the work, and did according to my

gift, and the proportion of my faith, preach that blessedgospel
that God had showed me in the holy word of truth: which when the