EUELPIDES
It's not you we are jeering at.
EPOPS
At what, then?
EUELPIDES
Why, it's your beak that looks so
ridiculous to us.
EPOPS
This is how Sophocles outrages me in his tragedies. Know, I once
was Tereus.
EUELPIDES
You were Tereus, and what are you now? a bird or a peacock?
EPOPS
I am a bird.
EUELPIDES
Then where are your feathers? I don't see any.
EPOPS
They have fallen off.
EUELPIDES
Through illness?
EPOPS
No. All birds moult their feathers, you know, every winter, and
others grow in their place. But tell me, who are you?
EUELPIDES
We? We are mortals.
EPOPS
From what country?
EUELPIDES
From the land of the beautful galleys.
EPOPS
Are you dicasts?
EUELPIDES
No, if anything, we are anti-dicasts.
EPOPS
Is that kind of seed sown among you?
EUELPIDES
You have to look hard to find even a little in our fields.
EPOPS
What brings you here?
EUELPIDES
We wish to pay you a visit.
EPOPS
What for?
EUELPIDES
Because you
formerly were a man, like we are,
formerly you had
debts, as we have,
formerly you did not want to pay them, like
ourselves;
furthermore, being turned into a bird, you have when flying
seen all lands and seas. Thus you have all human knowledge as well
as that of birds. And hence we have come to you to beg you to direct
us to some cosy town, in which one can
repose as if on thick
coverlets.
EPOPS
And are you looking for a greater city than Athens?
EUELPIDES
No, not a greater, but one more pleasant to live in.
EPOPS
Then you are looking for an
aristocratic country.
EUELPIDES
I? Not at all! I hold the son of Scellias in horror.
EPOPS
But, after all, what sort of city would please you best?
EUELPIDES
A place where the following would be the most important
business: transacted.-Some friend would come knocking at the door
quite early in the morning
saying, "By Olympian Zeus, be at my house
early. as soon as you have bathed, and bring your children too. I am
giving a feast, so don't fail, or else don't cross my
threshold when I
am in distress."
EPOPS
Ah! that's what may be called being fond of hardships! (To
PITHETAERUS) And what say you?
PITHETAERUS
My tastes are similar.
EPOPS
And they are?
PITHETAERUS
I want a town where the father of a handsome lad will stop in
the street and say to me reproachfully as if I had failed him, "Ah! Is
this well done, Stilbonides? You met my son coming from the bath after
the
gymnasium and you neither spoke to him, nor kissed him, nor took
him with you, nor ever once felt his balls. Would anyone call you an
old friend of mine?"
EPOPS
Ah! wag, I see you are fond of
suffering. But there is a city of
delights such as you want. It's on the Red Sea.
EUELPIDES
Oh, no. Not a sea-port, where some fine morning the Salaminian
galley can appear, bringing a process-server along. Have you no
Greek town you can propose to us?
EPOPS
Why not choose Lepreum in Elis for your settlement?
EUELPIDES
By Zeus! I could not look at Lepreum without
disgust, because of
Melanthius.
EPOPS
Then, again, there is the Opuntian Locris, where you could live.
EUELPIDES
I would not be Opuntian for a
talent. But come, what is it like to
live with the birds? You should know pretty well.
EPOPS
Why, it's not a
disagreeable life. In the first place, one has
no purse.
EUELPIDES
That does away with a lot of roguery.
EPOPS
For food the gardens yield us white sesame, myrtle-berries,
poppies and mint.
EUELPIDES
Why, 'tis the life of the newly-wed indeed.
PITHETAERUS
Ha! I am
beginning to see a great plan, which will
transfer the
supreme power to the birds, if you will but take my advice.
EPOPS
Take your advice? In what way?
PITHETAERUS
In what way? Well, firstly, do not fly in all directions with open
beak; it is not
dignified. Among us, when we see a
thoughtless man, we
ask, "What sort of bird is this?" and Teleas answers, "It's a man
who has no brain, a bird that has lost his head, a creature you cannot
catch, for it never remains in any one place."
EPOPS
By Zeus himself! your jest hits the mark. What then is to be done?
PITHETAERUS
Found a city.
EPOPS
We birds? But what sort of city should we build?
PITHETAERUS
Oh, really, really! you talk like such a fool! Look down.
EPOPS
I am looking.
PITHETAERUS
Now look up.
EPOPS
I am looking.
PITHETAERUS
Turn your head round.
EPOPS
Ah! it will be pleasant for me if I end in twisting my neck of!
PITHETAERUS
What have you seen?
EPOPS
The clouds and the sky.
PITHETAERUS
Very well! is not this the pole of the birds then?
EPOPS
How their pole?
PITHETAERUS
Or, if you like it, their place. And since it turns and passes
through the whole
universe, it is called 'pole.' If you build and
fortify it, you will turn your pole into a city. In this way you
will reign over mankind as you do over the grasshoppers and you will
cause the gods to die of rabid hunger
EPOPS
How so?
PITHETAERUS
The air is between earth and heaven. When we want to go to Delphi,
we ask the Boeotians for leave of passage; in the same way, when men
sacrifice to the gods, unless the latter pay you
tribute, you exercise
the right of every nation towards strangers and don't allow the
smoke of the sacrifices to pass through your city and territory.
EPOPS
By earth! by snares! by network! by cages! I never heard of
anything more cleverly conceived; and, if the other birds
approve, I
am going to build the city along with you.
PITHETAERUS
Who will explain the matter to them?
EPOPS
You must yourself. Before I came they were quite
ignorant, but
since have lived with them I have taught them to speak.
PITHETAERUS
But how can they be gathered together?
EPOPS
Easily. I will
hasten down to the
thicket to waken my dear
Procne and as soon as they hear our voices, they will come to us hot
wing.
PITHETAERUS
My dear bird, lose no time, please! Fly at once into the
thicketand
awaken Procne.
(EPOPS rushes into the
thicket.)
EPOPS (from within; singing)
Chase off
drowsy sleep, dear
companion. Let the
sacred hymn gush
from thy
divinethroat in melodious strains; roll forth in soft
cadence your
refreshing melodies to
bewail the fate of Itys, which has
been the cause of so many tears to us both. Your pure notes rise
through the thick leaves of the yew-tree right up to the
throne of
Zeus, where Phoebus listens to you, Phoebus with his golden hair.
And his ivory lyre responds to your
plaintive accents; he gathers
the choir of the gods and from their
immortal lips pours forth a
sacred chant of
blessed voices.
(The flute is played behind the scene, imitating the song of the
nightingale.)
PITHETAERUS
Oh! by Zeus! what a
throat that little bird possesses. He has
filled the whole
thicket with honey-sweet melody!
EUELPIDES
Hush!
PITHETAERUS
What's the matter?
EUELPIDES
Be still!
PITHETAERUS
What for?