酷兔英语

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HERACLES
Mortal! we who greet you are three gods.

PITHETAERUS
Wait a bit till I have prepared my silphium pickle.

HERACLES
What are these meats?

PITHETAERUS
These are birds that have been punished with death for attacking

the people's friends.
HERACLES

And you are going to season them before answering us?
PITHETAERUS (looking up from his work for the first time)

Ah! Heracles! welcome, welcome! What's the matter?
POSIDON

The gods have sent us here as ambassadors to treat for peace.
PITHETAERUS (ignoring this)

There's no more oil in the flask.
HERACLES

And yet the birds must be thoroughly basted with it.
POSIDON

We have no interest to serve in fighting you; as for you, be
friends and we promise that you shall always have rain-water in your

pools and the warmest of warm weather. So far as these points go we
are plenipotentiaries.

PITHETAERUS
We have never been the aggressors, and even now we are as well

disposed for peace as yourselves, provided you agree to one
equitable condition. namely, that Zeus yield his sceptre to the birds.

If only this is agreed to, I invite the ambassadors to dinner.
HERACLES

That's good enough for me. I vote for peace.
POSIDON

You wretch! you are nothing but a fool and a glutton. Do you
want to dethrone your own father?

PITHETAERUS
What an error. Why, the gods will be much more powerful if the

birds govern the earth. At present the mortals are hidden beneath
the clouds, escape your observation, and commit perjury in your

name; but if you had the birds for your allies, and a man, after
having sworn by the crow and Zeus, should fail to keep his oath, the

crow would dive down upon him unawares and pluck out his eye.
POSIDON

Well thought of, by Posidon!
HERACLES

My notion too.
PITHETAERUS (to TRIBALLUS)

And you, what's your opinion?
TRIBALLUS

Nabaisatreu.
PITHETAERUS

D'you see? he also approves. But listen, here is another thing
in which we can serve you. If a man vows to offer a sacrifice to

some god, and then procrastinates, pretending that the gods can
wait, and thus does not keep his word, we shall punish his stinginess.

POSIDON
Ah! and how?

PITHETAERUS
While he is counting his money or is in the bath, a kite will

relieve him, before he knows it, either in coin or in clothes, of
the value of a couple of sheep, and carry it to the god.

HERACLES
I vote for restoring them the sceptre.

POSIDON
Ask Triballus.

HERACLES
Hi Triballus, do you want a thrashing?

TRIBALLUS
Sure, bashum head withum stick.

HERACLES
He says, "Right willingly."

POSIDON
If that be the opinion of both of you, why, I consent too.

HERACLES
Very well! we accord you the sceptre.

PITHETAERUS
Ah! I was nearly forgetting another condition. I will leave Here

to Zeus, but only if the young Basileia is given me in marriage.
POSIDON

Then you don't want peace. Let us withdraw.
PITHETAERUS

It matters mighty little to me. Cook, look to the gravy.
HERACLES

What an odd fellow this Posidon is! Where are you off to? Are we
going to war about a woman?

POSIDON
What else is there to do?

HERACLES
What else? Why, conclude peace.

POSIDON
Oh! you blockhead! do you always want to be fooled? Why, you are

seeking your own downfall. If Zeus were to die, after having yielded
them the sovereignty, you would be ruined, for you are the heir of all

the wealth he will leave behind.
PITHETAERUS

Oh! by the gods! how he is cajoling you. Step aside, that I may
have a word with you. Your uncle is getting the better of you, my poor

friend. The law will not allow you an obolus of the paternal property,
for you are a bastard and not a legitimate child.

HERACLES
I a bastard! What's that you tell me?

PITHETAERUS
Why, certainly; are you not born of a stranger woman? Besides,

is not Athene recognized as Zeus' sole heiress? And no daughter
would be that, if she had a legitimate brother.

HERACLES
But what if my father wished to give me his property on his

death-bed, even though I be a bastard?
PITHETAERUS

The law forbids it, and this same Posidon would be the first to
lay claim to his wealth, in virtue of being his legitimate brother.

Listen; thus runs Solon's law: "A bastard shall not inherit, if
there are legitimate children; and if there are no legitimate

children, the property shall pass to the nearest kin."
HERACLES

And I get nothing whatever of the paternal property?
PITHETAERUS

Absolutely nothing. But tell me, has your father had you entered
on the registers of his phratry?

HERACLES
No, and I have long been surprised at the omission.

PITHETAERUS
Why do you shake your fist at heaven? Do you want to fight? Why,

be on my side, I will make you a king and will feed you on bird's milk
and honey.

HERACLES
Your further condition seems fair to me. I cede you the young

damsel.
POSIDON

But I, I vote against this opinion.
PITHETAERUS

Then it all depends on the Triballus. (To the TRIBALLUS) What do
you say?

TRIBALLUS
Givum bird pretty gel bigum queen.

HERACLES
He says give her.

POSIDON
Why no, he does not say anything of the sort, or else, like the

swallows he does not know how to walk.
PITHETAERUS

Exactly so. Does he not say she must be given to the swallows?
POSIDON (resignedly)

All right, you two arrange the matter; make peace, since you
wish it so; I'll hold my tongue.

HERACLES
We are of a mind to grant you all that you ask. But come up

there with us to receive Basileia and the celestial bounty.
PITHETAERUS

Here are birds already dressed, and very suitable for a nuptial
feast.

HERACLES
You go and, if you like, I will stay here to roast them.

PITHETAERUS
You to roast them? you are too much the glutton; come along with

us.
HERACLES

Ah! how well I would have treated myself!
PITHETAERUS

Let some one bring me a beautiful and magnificent tunic for the
wedding.

(The tunic is brought. PITHETAERUS and the three gods depart.)
CHORUS (singing)

At Phanae, near the Clepsydra, there dwells a people who have
neither faith nor law, the Englottogastors, who reap, sow, pluck the

vines and the figs with their tongues; they belong to a barbaric race,
and among them the Philippi and the Gorgiases are to be found; 'tis

these Englottogastorian Philippi who introduced the custom all over
Attica of cutting out the tongue separately at sacrifices.

(A MESSENGER enters.)
MESSENGER (in tragic style)

Oh, you, whose unbounded happiness I cannot express in words,
thrice happy race of airy birds, receive your king in your fortunate

dwellings. More brilliant than the brightest star that illumes the
earth, he is approaching his glittering golden palace; the sun

itself does not shine with more dazzling glory. He is entering with
his bride at his side, whose beauty no human tongue can express; in

his hand he brandishes the lightning, the winged shaft of Zeus;
perfumes of unspeakablesweetnesspervade the ethereal realms. 'Tis

a gloriousspectacle to see the clouds of incense wafting in light
whirlwinds before the breath of the zephyr! But here he is himself.

Divine Muse! let thy sacred lips begin with songs of happy omen.
(PITHETAERUS enters, with a crown on his head; he is accompanied

by BASILEIA.)
CHORUS (singing)

Fall back! to the right! to the left! advance! Fly around this
happy mortal, whom Fortune loads with her blessings. Oh! oh! what

grace! what beauty! Oh, marriage so auspicious for our city! All
honour to this man! 'tis through him that the birds are called to such

glorious destinies. Let your nuptial hymns, your nuptial songs,
greet him and his Basileia! 'Twas in the midst of such festivities

that the Fates formerly united Olympian Here to the King who governs
the gods from the summit of his inaccessiblethrone. Oh! Hymen! oh!

Hymenaeus! Rosy Eros with the golden wings held the reins and guided
the chariot; 'twas he, who presided over the union of Zeus and the

fortunate Here. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
PITHETAERUS

I am delighted with your songs, I applaud your verses. Now
celebrate the thunder that shakes the earth, the flaminglightning

of Zeus and the terrible flashing thunderbolt.
CHORUS (singing)

Oh, thou golden flash of the lightning! oh, ye divine shafts of


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