me comfort now, or at the hour of death; but I might not therefore

choose whether I would hold my profession or no: I was bound, but



He was free; yea, 'twas my duty to stand to His word, whether He

would ever look upon me or save me at the last: wherefore, thought



I, save the point being thus, I am for going on, and venturing my

eternal state with Christ, whether I have comfort here or no; if



God doth not come in, thought I, I WILL LEAP OFF THE LADDER EVEN

BLINDFOLD INTO ETERNITY, SINK OR SWIM, COME HEAVEN, COME HELL, LORD



JESUS, IF THOU WILT CATCH ME, DO; IF NOT, I WILL VENTURE FOR THY

NAME.



338. I was no sooner fixed in this resolution, but the word

dropped upon me, DOTH JOB SERVE GOD FOR NOUGHT? As if the accuser



had said, LORD, JOB IS NO UPRIGHT MAN, BE SERVES THEE FOR BYE-

RESPECTS: HAST THOU NOT MADE AN HEDGE ABOUT HIM, ETC. BUT PUT



FORTH NOW THINE HAND, AND TOUCH ALL THAT HE HATH, AND, HE WILL

CURSE THEE TO THY FACE. How now! thought I, is this the sign of an



upright soul, to desire to serve God, when all is taken from him?

Is he a godly man that will serve God for nothing, rather than give



out! Blessed be God! then I hope I have an upright heart, for I am

resolved (God giving me strength) never to deny my profession,



though I have nothing at all for my pains: and as I was thus

considering, that scripture was set before me: Psalm xliv. 12,



etc.

339. Now was my heart full of comfort; for I hoped it was sincere:



I would not have been without this trial for much; I am comforted

every time I think of it, and I hope I shall bless God for ever,



for the teaching I have had by it. Many more of the dealings

towards me I might relate, BUT THESE OUT OF THE SPOILS WON IN



BATTLE I HAVE DEDICATED TO MAINTAIN THE HOUSE OF GOD. 1 Chron.

xxvi. 27.



THE CONCLUSION

1. OF all the temptations that ever I met with in my life, to



question the being of God, and truth of His gospel is the worst,

and the worst to be borne; when this temptation comes, it takes



away my girdle from me, and removeth the foundation from under me:

Oh! I have often thought of that word, HAVE YOUR LOINS GIRT ABOUT



WITH TRUTH; and of that, WHEN THE FOUNDATIONS ARE DESTROYED, WHAT

CAN THE RIGHTEOUS DO?



2. Sometimes, when after sin committed, I have looked for sore

chastisement from the hand of God, the very next that I have had



from Him, hath been the discovery of His grace. Sometimes when I

have been comforted, I have called myself a fool for my so sinking



under trouble. And then again, when I have been cast down, I

thought I was not wise, to give such way to comfort; with such



strength and weight have both these been upon me.

3. I have wondered much at this one thing, that though God doth



visit my soul with never so blessed a discovery of Himself, yet I

have found again, that such hours have attended me afterwards, that



I have been in my spirit so filled with darkness, that I could not

so much as once conceive what that God and that comfort was, with



which I have been refreshed.

4. I have sometimes seen more in a line of the Bible, than I could



well tell how to stand under; and yet at another time, the whole

Bible hath been to me as dry as a stick; or rather, My heart hath



been so dead and dry unto it, that I could not conceive the

refreshment, though I have looked it all over.



5. Of all fears, they are best that are made by the blood of

Christ; and of all joy, that is the sweetest that is mixed with



mourning over Christ: Oh! it is a goodly thing to be on our knees,

with Christ in our arms, before God: I hope I know something of



these things.

6. I find to this day seven abominations in my heart: 1.



Inclining to unbelief; 2. Suddenly to forget the love and mercy

that Christ manifesteth; 3. A leaning to the works of the law; 4.



Wanderings and coldness in prayer; 5. To forget to watch for that I

pray for; 6. Apt to murmur because I have no more, and yet ready to



abuse what I have; 7. I can do none of those things which God

commands me, but my corruptions will thrust in themselves. When I



would do good, evil is present with me.

7. These things I continually see and feel, and am afflicted and



oppressed with, yet the wisdom of God doth order them for my good;

1. They make me abhor myself; 2. They keep me from trusting my



heart; 3. They convince me of the insufficiency of all inherent

righteousness; 4. They show me the necessity of flying to Jesus; 5.



They press me to pray unto God; 6. They show me the need I have to

• sentence [´sentəns] n.判决 vt.宣判；处刑 (初中英语单词)


• properly [´prɔpəli] ad.适当地；严格地 (初中英语单词)


• reckon [´rekən] v.计算；认为；估计 (初中英语单词)


• invisible [in´vizəbəl] a.看不见的；无形的 (初中英语单词)


• eternal [i´tə:nəl] a.永远的；永恒的 (初中英语单词)


• christ [kraist] n.基督 int.天啊! (初中英语单词)


• portion [´pɔ:ʃən] n.嫁妆；命运 vt.分配 (初中英语单词)


• beaten [´bi:tn] beat 的过去分词 (初中英语单词)


• endure [in´djuə] vt.忍耐，忍受；坚持 (初中英语单词)


• venture [´ventʃə] n.投机 v.冒险；敢于 (初中英语单词)


• consideration [kən,sidə´reiʃən] n.考虑；原因；体谅 (初中英语单词)


• preserve [pri´zə:v] v.保藏 n.保藏物 (初中英语单词)


• fasten [´fɑ:sən] v.扎牢；闩住；钉牢 (初中英语单词)


• selfish [´selfiʃ] a.自私的，利己的 (初中英语单词)


• profession [prə´feʃən] n.职业；声明；表白 (初中英语单词)


• misery [´mizəri] n.痛苦；悲惨；穷困 (初中英语单词)


• estate [i´steit] n.财产；庄园；等级 (初中英语单词)


• hunger [´hʌŋgə] n.饥饿；渴望 (初中英语单词)


• delicate [´delikət] a.精美的；微妙的 (初中英语单词)


• therefore [´ðeəfɔ:] ad.&conj.因此；所以 (初中英语单词)


• ashamed [ə´ʃeimd] a.惭愧；不好意思 (初中英语单词)


• multitude [´mʌltitju:d] n.大群(批)；众多 (初中英语单词)


• resolution [,rezə´lu:ʃən] n.决心；坚决；果断 (初中英语单词)


• relate [ri´leit] v.阐明；使联系；涉及 (初中英语单词)


• maintain [mein´tein] vt.维持；保持；继续 (初中英语单词)


• foundation [faun´deiʃən] n.建立；基金；地基 (初中英语单词)


• conceive [kən´si:v] v.设想；表达；怀孕 (初中英语单词)


• coldness [´kəuldnis] n.寒冷；冷淡 (初中英语单词)


• thrust [θrʌst] v.&n.猛推；冲；刺；挤进 (初中英语单词)


• wisdom [´wizdəm] n.智慧，聪明，才智 (初中英语单词)


• convince [kən´vins] vt.使确信；使认识错误 (初中英语单词)


• notwithstanding [,nɔtwiθ´stændiŋ] prep.&conj.虽然；还是 (高中英语单词)


• hardship [´hɑ:dʃip] n.受苦，吃苦；苦难 (高中英语单词)


• temptation [temp´teiʃən] n.引诱，诱惑(物) (高中英语单词)


• remnant [´remnənt] n.残(剩)余 a.剩余的 (高中英语单词)


• whilst [wailst] conj.当…时候；虽然 (高中英语单词)


• shrink [ʃriŋk] v.收缩；退缩；畏缩 (高中英语单词)


• saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ] n.言语；言论；格言 (高中英语单词)


• desolate [´desəleit] a.荒凉的；孤独的 (高中英语单词)


• hereafter [hiər´ɑ:ftə] ad.&n.将来；来世 (高中英语单词)


• reproach [ri´prəutʃ] vt.&n.责备；指责；耻辱 (高中英语单词)


• ladder [´lædə] n.梯子；阶梯 (高中英语单词)


• breadth [bredθ] n.宽度，幅面，广度 (高中英语单词)


• eternity [i´tə:niti] n.永恒，来世，无穷 (高中英语单词)


• upright [´ʌprait] a.直立的 ad.直立地 (高中英语单词)


• gospel [´gɔspəl] n.福音；信条；真理 (高中英语单词)


• girdle [´gə:dl] n.腰带 vt.用带束(缠) (高中英语单词)


• goodly [´gudli] a.适意的；漂亮的 (高中英语单词)


• continually [kən´tinjuəli] ad.不断地，频繁地 (高中英语单词)


• scripture [´skriptʃə] n.手稿；文件；经典 (英语四级单词)


• rightly [´raitli] ad.正义地；正确地 (英语四级单词)


• banishment [´bæniʃmənt] n.充军；放逐；驱除 (英语四级单词)


• touching [´tʌtʃiŋ] a.动人的 prep.提到 (英语四级单词)


• parting [´pɑ:tiŋ] a.&n.分离(的) (英语四级单词)


• calves [kɑ:vz] calf的复数 (英语四级单词)


• verily [´verili] ad.真实的；肯定地 (英语四级单词)


• entreat [in´tri:t] vt.恳求，恳请 (英语四级单词)


• soberly [´səubəli] ad.严肃地；清醒地 (英语四级单词)


• partake [pɑ:´teik] v.参与；分享；同吃 (英语四级单词)


• asunder [ə´sʌndə] a.分开地；零散地 (英语四级单词)


• gallows [´gæləuz] n.绞刑架 (英语四级单词)


• savour [´seivə] n.味道；风味 v.尝到 (英语四级单词)


• wherefore [´weəfɔ:] ad.为什么；因此 (英语四级单词)


• clamber [´klæmbə] v.&n.爬；攀登 (英语四级单词)


• nought [nɔ:t] n.=naught (英语四级单词)


• blessed [´blesid] a.享福的；神圣的 (英语四级单词)


• righteous [´raitʃəs] a.正直的；正当的 (英语四级单词)


• affliction [ə´flikʃən] n.痛苦，苦恼；折磨 (英语六级单词)


• forsook [fə´suk] forsake的过去式 (英语六级单词)


• denial [di´naiəl] n.否认；拒绝 (英语六级单词)


• conceited [kən´si:tid] a.自负的；自夸的 (英语六级单词)


• methought [mi´θɔ:t] methinks的过去式 (英语六级单词)


• trusting [´trʌstiŋ] a.信任的；相信的 (英语六级单词)