酷兔英语

章节正文
文章总共2页
BEDFORD. After I had propounded to the church, that my desire was



to walk in the order and ordinances of Christ with them, and was

also admitted by them: while I thought of that blessedordinance



of Christ, which was His last supper with His disciples before His

death, that scripture, DO THIS IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME, Luke xxii. 19,



was made a very precious word unto me; for by it the Lord did come

down upon my conscience with the discovery of His death for my



sins; and as I then felt, did as if He plunged me in the virtue of

the same. But behold, I had not been long a partaker at that



ordinance, but such fierce and sad temptations did attend me at all

times therein, both to blaspheme the ordinance, and to wish some



deadly thing to those that then did eat thereof: that lest I

should at any time be guilty of consenting to these wicked and



fearful thoughts, I was forced to bend myself all the while, to

pray to God to keep me from such blasphemies: and also to cry to



God to bless the bread and cup to them, as it went from mouth to

mouth. The reason of this temptation, I have thought since, was,



because I did not with that reverence that became me at first,

approach to partake thereof.



254. Thus I continued for three quarters of a year, and could

never have rest nor ease: but at the last the Lord came in upon my



soul with that same scripture, by which my soul was visited before:

and after that, I have been usually very well and comfortable in



the partaking of that blessedordinance; and have, I trust, therein

discerned the Lord's body, as broken for my sins, and that His



precious blood hath been shed for my transgressions.

255. Upon a time I was something inclining to a consumption,



wherewith about the spring I was suddenly and violently seized,

with much weakness in my outward man; insomuch that I thought I



could not live. Now began I afresh to give myself up to a serious

examination after my state and condition for the future, and of my



evidences for that blessed world to come: for it hath, I bless the

name of God, been my usual course, as always, so especially in the



day of affliction, to endeavour to keep my interest in the life to

come, clear before mine eyes.



256. But I had no sooner began to recall to mind my former

experience of the goodness of God to my soul, but there came



flocking into my mind an innumerable company of my sins and

transgressions; amongst which these were at this time most to my



affliction; namely, my deadness, dulness, and coldness in holy

duties; my wanderings of heart, of my wearisomeness in all good



things, my want of love to God, His ways and people, with this at

the end of all, ARE THESE THE FRUITS OF CHRISTIANITY? ARE THESE



TOKENS OF A BLESSED MAN?

257. At the apprehensions of these things my sickness was doubled



upon me; for now I was sick in my inward man, my soul was clogged

with guilt; now also was my former experience of God's goodness to



me, quite taken out of my mind, and hid as if they had never been,

or seen: now was my soul greatly pinched between these two



considerations, LIVE I MUST NOT, DIE I DARE NOT. Now I sunk and

fell in my spirit, and was giving up all for lost; but as I was



walking up and down in the house as a man in a most woeful state,

that word of God took hold of my heart, YE ARE JUSTIFIED FREELY BY



HIS GRACE, THROUGH THE REDEMPTION THAT IS IN CHRIST JESUS. Rom.

iii. 24. But oh! what a turn it made upon me!



258. Now was I as one awaked out of some troublesome sleep and

dream; and listening to this heavenlysentence, I was as if I had



heard it thus expounded to me: SINNER, THOU THINKEST, THAT BECAUSE

THY SINS AND INFIRMITIES, I CANNOT SAVE THY SOUL; BUT BEHOLD MY SON



IS BY ME, AND UPON HIM I LOOK, AND NOT ON THEE, AND SHALL DEAL WITH

THEE ACCORDING AS I AM PLEASED WITH HIM. At this I was greatly



lightened in my mind, and made to understand, that God could

justify a sinner at any time; it was but His looking upon Christ,



and imputing His benefits to us, and the work was forthwith done.

259. And as I was thus in a muse, that scripture also came with



great power upon my spirit, NOT BY WORKS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS THAT WE

HAVE DONE, BUT ACCORDING TO HIS MERCY HE HATH SAVED US, ETC. 2



Tim. i. 9; Tit. iii. 5. Now was I got on high, I saw myself within

the arms of grace and mercy; and though I was before afraid to



think of a dying hour, yet, now I cried, LET ME DIE: Now death was

lovely and beautiful in my sight, for I saw WE SHALL NEVER LIVE



INDEED, TILL WE BE GONE TO THE OTHER WORLD. Oh! methought this




文章总共2页
文章标签:名著  

章节正文