presented himself to me in the full splendour
of the uniform of the Line
infantry. Attached
to his third
button was a little
bronze chain, on
which hung a double lorgnette. Epaulettes of
incredible size were bent
backwards and upwards
in the shape of a cupid's wings; his boots
creaked; in his left hand he held cinnamon-
coloured kid gloves and a forage-cap, and with
his right he kept every moment twisting his
frizzled tuft of hair up into tiny curls. Com-
placency and at the same time a certain diffi-
dence were depicted upon his face. His festal
appearance and proud gait would have made me
burst out laughing, if such a
proceeding had
been in
accordance with my intentions.
He threw his cap and gloves on the table and
began to pull down the skirts of his coat and to
put himself to rights before the looking-glass. An
enormous black
handkerchief, which was twisted
into a very high stiffener for his
cravat, and the
bristles of which supported his chin, stuck out an
inch over his
collar. It seemed to him to be
rather small, and he drew it up as far as his ears.
As a result of that hard work -- the
collar of his
uniform being very tight and
uncomfortable --
he grew red in the face.
"They say you have been courting my
princessterribly these last few days?" he said, rather
carelessly and without looking at me.
"'Where are we fools to drink tea!'"[1] I
answered, repeating a pet
phrase of one of the
cleverest rogues of past times, once
celebrated in
song by Pushkin.
[1] A popular
phrase,
equivalent to: "How should I think
of doing such a thing?"
"Tell me, does my uniform fit me well? . . .
Oh, the cursed Jew! . . . How it cuts me
under the armpits! . . . Have you got any
scent?"
"Good
gracious, what more do you want?
You are reeking of rose pomade as it is."
"Never mind. Give me some" . . .
He poured half a phial over his
cravat, his
pocket-
handkerchief, his sleeves.
"You are going to dance?" he asked.
"I think not."
"I am afraid I shall have to lead off the
mazurka with Princess Mary, and I scarcely know
a single figure" . . .
"Have you asked her to dance the mazurka
with you?"
"Not yet" . . .
"Mind you are not forestalled" . . .
"Just so, indeed!" he said,
striking his fore-
head. "Good-bye. . . I will go and wait for
her at the entrance."
He seized his forage-cap and ran.
Half an hour later I also set off. The street
was dark and deserted. Around the assembly
rooms, or inn --
whichever you prefer -- people
were thronging. The windows were lighted up,
the strains of the regimental band were borne to
me on the evening
breeze. I walked slowly; I
felt melancholy.
"Can it be possible," I thought, "that my sole
mission on earth is to destroy the hopes of others?
Ever since I began to live and to act, it seems
always to have been my fate to play a part in the
ending of other people's dramas, as if, but for me,
no one could either die or fall into despair! I
have been the
indispensable person of the fifth
act; unwillingly I have played the
pitiful part of
an executioner or a
traitor. What object has fate
had in this? . . . Surely, I have not been
appointed by
destiny to be an author of middle-
class tragedies and family romances, or to be a
collaborator with the purveyor of stories -- for the
'Reader's Library,'[1] for example? . . . How
can I tell? . . . Are there not many people who,
in
beginning life, think to end it like Lord Byron
or Alexander the Great, and, nevertheless,
remain Titular Councillors[2] all their days?"
[1] Published by Senkovski, and under the censorship of the
Government.
[2] Civil servants of the ninth (the lowest) class.
Entering the
saloon, I concealed myself in a
crowd of men, and began to make my observa-
tions.
Grushnitski was
standing beside Princess Mary
and
saying something with great
warmth. She
was listening to him absent-mindedly and looking
about her, her fan laid to her lips. Impatience
was depicted upon her face, her eyes were
searching all around for somebody. I went
softly behind them in order to listen to their
conversation.
"You
torture me, Princess!" Grushnitski
was
saying. "You have changed
dreadfully since
I saw you last" . . .
"You, too, have changed," she answered, casting
a rapid glance at him, in which he was
unable to
detect the
latent sneer.
"I! Changed? . . . Oh, never! You know
that such a thing is impossible! Whoever has
seen you once will bear your
divine image with
him for ever."
"Stop" . . .
"But why will you not let me say to-night
what you have so often listened to with con-
descension -- and just recently, too?" . . .
"Because I do not like repetitions," she
answered, laughing.
"Oh! I have been
bitterly mistaken! . . .
I thought, fool that I was, that these epaulettes,
at least, would give me the right to hope. . .
No, it would have been better for me to have
remained for ever in that
contemptible soldier's
cloak, to which, probably, I was
indebted for your
attention" . . .
"As a matter of fact, the cloak is much more
becoming to you" . . .
At that moment I went up and bowed to
Princess Mary. She blushed a little, and went on
rapidly:
"Is it not true, Monsieur Pechorin, that the
grey cloak suits Monsieur Grushnitski much
better?" . . .
"I do not agree with you," I answered:
"he is more youthful-looking still in his
uniform."
That was a blow which Grushnitski could not
bear: like all boys, he has pretensions to being an
old man; he thinks that the deep traces of
passions upon his
countenance take the place of
the lines scored by Time. He cast a furious
glance at me, stamped his foot, and took himself
off.
"Confess now," I said to Princess Mary: "that
although he has always been most
ridiculous, yet
not so long ago he seemed to you to be inter-
esting . . . in the grey cloak?" . . .
She cast her eyes down and made no reply.
Grushnitski followed the Princess about during
the whole evening and danced either with her or
vis-a-vis. He devoured her with his eyes, sighed,
and wearied her with prayers and reproaches.
After the third quadrille she had begun to hate
him.
"I did not expect this from you," he said,
coming up to me and
taking my arm.
"What?"
"You are going to dance the mazurka with
her?" he asked in a
solemn tone. "She ad-
mitted it" . . .
"Well, what then? It is not a secret,
is it"?*
"Of course not. . . I ought to have expected
such a thing from that chit -- that flirt. . . I
will have my
revenge, though!"
"You should lay the blame on your cloak, or
your epaulettes, but why
accuse her? What
fault is it of hers that she does not like you any
longer?" . . .
"But why give me hopes?"
"Why did you hope? To desire and to strive
after something -- that I can understand! But
who ever hopes?"
"You have won the wager, but not quite," he
said, with a
malignant smile.
The mazurka began. Grushnitski chose no one
but the Princess, other cavaliers chose her every
minute:
obviously a
conspiracy against me --
all the better! She wants to talk to me, they are
preventing her -- she will want to twice as
much.
I squeezed her hand once or twice; the
second time she drew it away without
saying a
word.
"I shall sleep badly to-night," she said to me
when the mazurka was over.
"Grushnitski is to blame for that."
"Oh, no!"
And her face became so
pensive, so sad, that I
promised myself that I would not fail to kiss her
hand that evening.
The guests began to
disperse. As I was handing
Princess Mary into her
carriage, I rapidly pressed
her little hand to my lips. The night was dark
and nobody could see.
I returned to the
saloon very well satisfied
with myself.
The young men, Grushnitski
amongst them,
were having supper at the large table. As
I came in, they all fell silent:
evidently they
had been talking about me. Since the last
ball many of them have been sulky with me,
especially the captain of dragoons; and now,
it seems, a
hostile gang is
actually being
formed against me, under the command of
Grushnitski. He wears such a proud and
courageous air. . .