the Monthly Rag-bag and Stolen Miscellany, intense mortification

ensued, with a fatal result. The chief laid down his notions of



the law to his brother justices, who unanimously replied, "Jest

so." The chief rejoined, that no man should jest so without being



punished for it, and charged for the prisoner, who was acquitted,

and the pun ordered to be burned by the sheriff. The bound volume



was forfeited as a deodand, but not claimed.

People that make puns are like wanton boys that put coppers on the



railroad tracks. They amuse themselves and other children, but

their little trick may upset a freight train of conversation for



the sake of a battered witticism.

I will thank you, B. F., to bring down two books, of which I will



mark the places on this slip of paper. (While he is gone, I may

say that this boy, our land-lady's youngest, is called BENJAMIN



FRANKLIN, after the celebratedphilosopher of that name. A highly

merited compliment.)



I wished to refer to two eminent authorities. Now be so good as to

listen. The great moralist says: "To trifle with the vocabulary



which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the

currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the



sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the

paternal till without remorse, and repeat the banquet of Saturn



without an indigestion."

And, once more, listen to the historian. "The Puritans hated puns.



The Bishops were notoriously addicted to them. The Lords Temporal

carried them to the verge of license. Majesty itself must have its



Royal quibble. 'Ye be burly, my Lord of Burleigh,' said Queen

Elizabeth, 'but ye shall make less stir in our realm than my Lord



of Leicester.' The gravest wisdom and the highest breeding lent

their sanction to the practice. Lord Bacon playfully declared



himself a descendant of 'Og, the King of Bashan. Sir Philip

Sidney, with his last breath, reproached the soldier who brought



him water, for wasting a casque full upon a dying man. A courtier,

who saw Othello performed at the Globe Theatre, remarked, that the



blackamoor was a brute, and not a man. 'Thou hast reason,' replied

a great Lord, 'according to Plato his saying; for this be a two-



legged animal WITH feathers.' The fatal habit became universal.

The language was corrupted. The infection spread to the national



conscience. Political double-dealings naturally grew out of verbal

double meanings. The teeth of the new dragon were sown by the



Cadmus who introduced the alphabet of equivocation. What was

levity in the time of the Tudors grew to regicide and revolution in



the age of the Stuarts."

Who was that boarder that just whispered something about the



Macaulay-flowers of literature? - There was a dead silence. - I

said calmly, I shall henceforth consider any interruption by a pun



as a hint to change my boarding-house. Do not plead my example.

If I have used any such, it has been only as a Spartan father would



show up a drunken helot. We have done with them.

- If a logical mind ever found out anything with its logic? - I



should say that its most frequent work was to build a PONS ASINORUM

over chasms which shrewd people can bestride without such a



structure. You can hire logic, in the shape of a lawyer, to prove

anything that you want to prove. You can buy treatises to show



that Napoleon never lived, and that no battle of Bunker-hill was

ever fought. The great minds are those with a wide span, which



couple truths related to, but far removed from, each other.

Logicians carry the surveyor's chain over the track of which these



are the true explorers. I value a man mainly for his primary

relations with truth, as I understand truth, - not for any



secondary artifice in handling his ideas. Some of the sharpest men

• glitter [´glitə] n.光辉 vi.闪烁，炫耀 (初中英语单词)


• writing [´raitiŋ] n.书写；写作；书法 (初中英语单词)


• writer [´raitə] n.作者；作家 (初中英语单词)


• speaker [´spi:kə] n.演讲人；代言人 (初中英语单词)


• sentiment [´sentimənt] n.情绪；多愁善感 (初中英语单词)


• hammer [´hæmə] n.锤子 v.重击 (初中英语单词)


• driven [´driv(ə)n] drive 的过去分词 (初中英语单词)


• rarely [´reəli] ad.难得；非凡地 (初中英语单词)


• sentence [´sentəns] n.判决 vt.宣判；处刑 (初中英语单词)


• interval [´intəvəl] n.间隙；(工间)休息 (初中英语单词)


• contrary [´kɔntrəri] a.相反的 n.相反 (初中英语单词)


• mental [´mentl] a.精神的；心理的 (初中英语单词)


• stupid [´stju:pid] a.愚蠢的；糊涂的 (初中英语单词)


• immense [i´mens] a.广大的，无限的 (初中英语单词)


• amount [ə´maunt] n.总数；数量 v.合计 (初中英语单词)


• triumph [´traiəmf] n.胜利 vi.得胜，战胜 (初中英语单词)


• arrangement [ə´reindʒmənt] n.整理；排列；筹备 (初中英语单词)


• character [´kæriktə] n.特性；性质；人物；字 (初中英语单词)


• plunge [plʌndʒ] v.插进 n.投入；冲击 (初中英语单词)


• circle [´sə:kəl] n.圆圈 v.环绕；盘旋 (初中英语单词)


• movement [´mu:vmənt] n.活动；运动；动作 (初中英语单词)


• differ [´difə] vi.不同；有差别 (初中英语单词)


• betray [bi´trei] vt.背叛；辜负；暴露 (初中英语单词)


• cheerful [´tʃiəful] a.快乐的；高兴的 (初中英语单词)


• principal [´prinsəpəl] a.主要的 n.负责人 (初中英语单词)


• belief [bi´li:f] n.相信；信仰，信条 (初中英语单词)


• constitution [,kɔnsti´tju:ʃən] n.宪法；体格；体质 (初中英语单词)


• essential [i´senʃəl] a.必需的 n.要素，要点 (初中英语单词)


• sacred [´seikrid] a.神圣的；庄严的 (初中英语单词)


• treatment [´tri:tmənt] n.待遇；对待；治疗 (初中英语单词)


• insult [in´sʌlt, ´insʌlt] n.&vt.侮辱；损害 (初中英语单词)


• commit [kə´mit] vt.犯(罪)；把…判处 (初中英语单词)


• lately [´leitli] ad.近来，不久前 (初中英语单词)


• humanity [hju:´mæniti] n.人类；人性；仁慈 (初中英语单词)


• volume [´vɔlju:m, ´vɑljəm] n.卷；书籍；体积；容量 (初中英语单词)


• stolen [´stəulən] steal 的过去分词 (初中英语单词)


• sheriff [´ʃerif] n.郡长；行政长官 (初中英语单词)


• freight [freit] n.运货 vt.运送；充满 (初中英语单词)


• celebrated [´selibreitid] a.著名的 (初中英语单词)


• trifle [´traifəl] n.琐事，小事；少量 (初中英语单词)


• intelligence [in´telidʒəns] n.智力；消息 (初中英语单词)


• invade [in´veid] vt.侵入；打扰；充满 (初中英语单词)


• majesty [´mædʒisti] n.壮丽；崇高；尊严 (初中英语单词)


• wisdom [´wizdəm] n.智慧，聪明，才智 (初中英语单词)


• breath [breθ] n.呼吸；气息 (初中英语单词)


• dragon [´drægən] n.龙 (初中英语单词)


• alphabet [´ælfəbet] n.字母表 (初中英语单词)


• literature [´litərətʃə] n.文学；文献；著作 (初中英语单词)


• calmly [´kɑ:mli] ad.平静地；无风浪地 (初中英语单词)


• henceforth [´hens´fɔ:θ] ad.今后；从今以后 (初中英语单词)


• interruption [intə´rʌpʃ(ə)n] n.停止，中断 (初中英语单词)


• drunken [´drʌŋkən] a.喝醉的；常醉的 (初中英语单词)


• frequent [´fri:kwənt] a.常见的，频繁的 (初中英语单词)


• lawyer [´lɔ:jə] n.律师；法学家 (初中英语单词)


• mainly [´meinli] ad.主要地；大体上 (初中英语单词)


• mistaken [mis´teikən] mistake的过去分词 (高中英语单词)


• commonly [´kɔmənli] ad.一般地；通常 (高中英语单词)


• inland [´inlənd, in´lænd] a.&n.内地的 ad.在内地 (高中英语单词)


• pleasantly [´plezntli] ad.令人愉快地；舒适地 (高中英语单词)


• distinguished [di´stiŋgwiʃt] a.卓越的，著名的 (高中英语单词)


• precisely [pri´saisli] ad.精确地；刻板地 (高中英语单词)


• accuracy [´ækjurəsi] n.准确(性)；精密度 (高中英语单词)


• blunder [´blʌndə] n.&v.(犯)大错；疏忽 (高中英语单词)


• dealing [´di:liŋ] n.交易；来往 (高中英语单词)


• mighty [´maiti] a.强有力的 ad.很 (高中英语单词)


• conceit [kən´si:t] n.自负；骄傲自满 (高中英语单词)


• liable [´laiəbəl] a.易于…的；有责任的 (高中英语单词)


• ultimate [´ʌltimit] a.最终的 n.终极；顶点 (高中英语单词)


• profitable [´prɔfitəbəl] a.有益的；有用的 (高中英语单词)


• forbidden [fə´bidn] forbid的过去分词 (高中英语单词)


• indifference [in´difrəns] n.冷淡；无足轻重 (高中英语单词)


• contempt [kən´tempt] n.轻蔑；受辱；不顾 (高中英语单词)


• nuisance [´nju:səns] n.损害；讨厌的人(事) (高中英语单词)


• decided [di´saidid] a.明显的；决定的 (高中英语单词)


• charity [´tʃæriti] n.施舍；慈悲；博爱 (高中英语单词)


• dignified [´dignifaid] a.尊贵的 (高中英语单词)


• monthly [´mʌnθli] a.每月(的) n.月刊 (高中英语单词)


• intense [in´tens] a.强烈的；紧张的 (高中英语单词)


• philosopher [fi´lɔsəfə] n.哲学家；思想家；哲人 (高中英语单词)


• eminent [´eminənt] a.卓越的；杰出的 (高中英语单词)


• banquet [´bæŋkwit] n.宴会，盛宴 (高中英语单词)


• historian [his´tɔ:riən] n.历史学家 (高中英语单词)


• sanction [´sæŋkʃən] n.&vt.批准；认可 (高中英语单词)


• descendant [di´sendənt] n.子孙，后裔 (高中英语单词)


• saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ] n.言语；言论；格言 (高中英语单词)


• infection [in´fekʃən] n.感染，影响 (高中英语单词)


• shrewd [ʃru:d] a.精明的；狡猾的 (高中英语单词)


• napoleon [nə´pəuljən] n.拿破仑 (高中英语单词)


• related [ri´leitid] a.叙述的；有联系的 (高中英语单词)


• satire [´sætaiə] n.讽刺；讽刺作品 (英语四级单词)


• moderately [´mɔdəritli] ad.适度；适中；普通 (英语四级单词)


• seemingly [´si:miŋli] ad.表面上；似乎 (英语四级单词)


• sublime [sə´blaim] a.崇高的，伟大的 (英语四级单词)


• verdict [´və:dikt] n.裁决，判决；判定 (英语四级单词)


• miller [´milə] n.磨坊主；铣床(工) (英语四级单词)


• subscription [səb´skripʃən] n.预订；预约；捐款 (英语四级单词)


• happening [´hæpəniŋ] n.事件，偶然发生的事 (英语四级单词)


• wanton [´wɔntən, ´wɑ:n-] a.顽皮的 n.&vi.荡妇 (英语四级单词)


• vehicle [´vi:ikəl] n.车辆；媒介物 (英语四级单词)


• intercourse [´intəkɔ:s] n.交际；往来；交流 (英语四级单词)


• violate [´vaiəleit] vt.违背；冒犯；侵害 (英语四级单词)


• remorse [ri´mɔ:s] n.懊悔；自责；同情 (英语四级单词)


• breeding [´bri:diŋ] n.饲养，教养 (英语四级单词)


• wasting [´weistiŋ] a.&n.浪费(的) (英语四级单词)


• boarder [´bɔ:də] n.搭伙者；寄宿者 (英语四级单词)


• logical [´lɔdʒikəl] a.逻辑(上)的 (英语四级单词)


• blameless [´bleimlis] a.无可责难的 (英语六级单词)


• lecturer [´lektʃərə] n.演讲者；讲师 (英语六级单词)


• evolve [i´vɔlv] v.进化；发展；引出；推论 (英语六级单词)


• conceited [kən´si:tid] a.自负的；自夸的 (英语六级单词)


• impersonal [im´pə:sənəl] a.不受个人感情影响的 (英语六级单词)


• resplendent [ri´splendənt] a.灿烂的；辉煌的 (英语六级单词)


• deluge [´delju:dʒ] n.大洪水 vt.泛滥 (英语六级单词)


• unanimously [ju:´næniməsli] ad.一致同意的 (英语六级单词)