Give me leave to introduce Miss Constance Neville to your

acquaintance. Happening to dine in the neighbourhood, they called on
their return to take fresh horses here. Miss Hardcastle has just stept

into the next room, and will be back in an instant. Wasn't it lucky?
eh!

MARLOW. (Aside.) I have been mortified enough of all conscience, and
here comes something to complete my embarrassment.

HASTINGS. Well, but wasn't it the most fortunate thing in the world?
MARLOW. Oh! yes. Very fortunate--a most joyful encounter--But our

dresses, George, you know are in disorder--What if we should postpone
the happiness till to-morrow?--To-morrow at her own house--It will be

every bit as convenient--and rather more respectful--To-morrow let it
be. [Offering to go.]

MISS NEVILLE. By no means, sir. Your ceremony will displease her.
The disorder of your dress will show the ardour of your impatience.

Besides, she knows you are in the house, and will permit you to see
her.

MARLOW. O! the devil! how shall I support it? Hem! hem! Hastings,
you must not go. You are to assist me, you know. I shall be

confoundedly ridiculous. Yet, hang it! I'll take courage. Hem!
HASTINGS. Pshaw, man! it's but the first plunge, and all's over.

She's but a woman, you know.
MARLOW. And, of all women, she that I dread most to encounter.

Enter MISS HARDCASTLE, as returned from walking, a bonnet, etc.
HASTINGS. (Introducing them.) Miss Hardcastle, Mr. Marlow. I'm

proud of bringing two persons of such merit together, that only want to
know, to esteem each other.

MISS HARDCASTLE. (Aside.) Now for meeting my modest gentleman with a
demure face, and quite in his own manner. (After a pause, in which he

appears very uneasy and disconcerted.) I'm glad of your safe arrival,
sir. I'm told you had some accidents by the way.

MARLOW. Only a few, madam. Yes, we had some. Yes, madam, a good many
accidents, but should be sorry--madam--or rather glad of any

accidents--that are so agreeably concluded. Hem!
HASTINGS. (To him.) You never spoke better in your whole life. Keep

it up, and I'll insure you the victory.
MISS HARDCASTLE. I'm afraid you flatter, sir. You that have seen so

much of the finest company, can find little entertainment in an obscure
corner of the country.

MARLOW. (Gathering courage.) I have lived, indeed, in the world,
madam; but I have kept very little company. I have been but an

observer upon life, madam, while others were enjoying it.
MISS NEVILLE. But that, I am told, is the way to enjoy it at last.

HASTINGS. (To him.) Cicero never spoke better. Once more, and you
are confirmed in assurance for ever.

MARLOW. (To him.) Hem! Stand by me, then, and when I'm down, throw
in a word or two, to set me up again.

MISS HARDCASTLE. An observer, like you, upon life were, I fear,
disagreeably employed, since you must have had much more to censure

than to approve.
MARLOW. Pardon me, madam. I was always willing to be amused. The

folly of most people is rather an object of mirth than uneasiness.
HASTINGS. (To him.) Bravo, bravo. Never spoke so well in your whole

life. Well, Miss Hardcastle, I see that you and Mr. Marlow are going
to be very good company. I believe our being here will but embarrass

the interview.
MARLOW. Not in the least, Mr. Hastings. We like your company of all

things. (To him.) Zounds! George, sure you won't go? how can you
leave us?

HASTINGS. Our presence will but spoil conversation, so we'll retire to
the next room. (To him.) You don't consider, man, that we are to

manage a little tete-a-tete of our own. [Exeunt.]
MISS HARDCASTLE. (after a pause). But you have not been wholly an

observer, I presume, sir: the ladies, I should hope, have employed some
part of your addresses.

MARLOW. (Relapsing into timidity.) Pardon me, madam, I--I--I--as yet
have studied--only--to--deserve them.

MISS HARDCASTLE. And that, some say, is the very worst way to obtain
them.

MARLOW. Perhaps so, madam. But I love to converse only with the more
grave and sensible part of the sex. But I'm afraid I grow tiresome.

MISS HARDCASTLE. Not at all, sir; there is nothing I like so much as
grave conversation myself; I could hear it for ever. Indeed, I have

often been surprised how a man of sentiment could ever admire those
light airy pleasures, where nothing reaches the heart.

MARLOW. It's----a disease----of the mind, madam. In the variety of
tastes there must be some who, wanting a relish----for----um--a--um.

MISS HARDCASTLE. I understand you, sir. There must be some, who,
wanting a relish for refined pleasures, pretend to despise what they

are incapable of tasting.
MARLOW. My meaning, madam, but infinitely better expressed. And I

can't help observing----a----
MISS HARDCASTLE. (Aside.) Who could ever suppose this fellow

impudent upon some occasions? (To him.) You were going to observe,
sir----

MARLOW. I was observing, madam--I protest, madam, I forget what I was
going to observe.

MISS HARDCASTLE. (Aside.) I vow and so do I. (To him.) You were
observing, sir, that in this age of hypocrisy--something about

hypocrisy, sir.
MARLOW. Yes, madam. In this age of hypocrisy there are few who upon

strict inquiry do not--a--a--a--
MISS HARDCASTLE. I understand you perfectly, sir.

MARLOW. (Aside.) Egad! and that's more than I do myself.
MISS HARDCASTLE. You mean that in this hypocritical age there are few

that do not condemn in public what they practise in private, and think
they pay every debt to virtue when they praise it.

MARLOW. True, madam; those who have most virtue in their mouths, have
least of it in their bosoms. But I'm sure I tire you, madam.

MISS HARDCASTLE. Not in the least, sir; there's something so
agreeable and spirited in your manner, such life and force--pray, sir,

go on.
MARLOW. Yes, madam. I was saying----that there are some occasions,

when a total want of courage, madam, destroys all the----and puts
us----upon a--a--a--

MISS HARDCASTLE. I agree with you entirely; a want of courage upon
some occasions assumes the appearance of ignorance, and betrays us when

we most want to excel. I beg you'll proceed.
MARLOW. Yes, madam. Morally speaking, madam--But I see Miss Neville

expecting us in the next room. I would not intrude for the world.
MISS HARDCASTLE. I protest, sir, I never was more agreeably

entertained in all my life. Pray go on.
MARLOW. Yes, madam, I was----But she beckons us to join her. Madam,

shall I do myself the honour to attend you?
MISS HARDCASTLE. Well, then, I'll follow.

MARLOW. (Aside.) This pretty smooth dialogue has done for me.
[Exit.]

MISS HARDCASTLE. (Alone.) Ha! ha! ha! Was there ever such a sober,
sentimental interview? I'm certain he scarce looked in my face the

whole time. Yet the fellow, but for his unaccountable bashfulness, is
pretty well too. He has good sense, but then so buried in his fears,

that it fatigues one more than ignorance. If I could teach him a
little confidence, it would be doing somebody that I know of a piece of

service. But who is that somebody?--That, faith, is a question I can
scarce answer. [Exit.]

Enter TONY and MISS NEVILLE, followed by MRS. HARDCASTLE and HASTINGS.