introduced her; and on
reflection I began to see that it wouldn't
work
properly. I had made a mistake, and those were not the
surroundings in which she was most fitted to shine. However, it
really did not matter much; I had other palaces to place at her
disposal--plenty of 'em; and on a further
acquaintance with and
knowledge of her tastes, no doubt I could find something to suit
her.
There was a real Arabian one, for
instance, which I visited but
rarely--only just when I was in the fine Oriental mood for it; a
wonder of silk hangings, fountains of rosewater, pavilions, and
minarets. Hundreds of silent, well-trained slaves thronged the
stairs and alleys of this
establishment, ready to fetch and carry
for her all day, if she wished it; and my brave soldiers would be
spared the indignity. Also there were processions through the
bazaar at odd moments--processions with camels, elephants, and
palanquins. Yes, she was more suited for the East, this
imperious young person; and I determined that
thither she should
be
personally conducted as soon as ever might be.
I reached the fence and climbed up two bars of it, and leaning
over I looked this way and that for my twin-souled
partner of the
morning. It was not long before I caught sight of her, only a
short distance away. Her back was towards me and--well, one can
never
foresee exactly how one will find things--she was talking
to a Boy.
Of course there are boys and boys, and Lord knows I was never
narrow. But this was the parson's son from an adjoining village,
a red-headed boy and as common a little beast as ever stepped.
He
cultivated ferrets--his only good point; and it was evidently
through the
medium of this art that he was basely supplanting me,
for her head was bent absorbedly over something he carried in his
hands. With some trepidation I called out, "Hi!" But answer
there was none. Then again I called, "Hi!" but this time with a
sickening sense of
failure and of doom. She replied only by a
complex
gesture,
decisive in
import if not easily described. A
petulant toss of the head, a jerk of the left shoulder, and a
backward kick of the left foot, all delivered at once--that was
all, and that was enough. The red-headed boy never even
condescended to glance my way. Why, indeed, should he? I
dropped from the fence without another effort, and took my way
homewards along the weary road.
Little
inclination was left to me, at first, for any solitary
visit to my accustomed palace, the pleasures of which I had so
recently tasted in company; and yet after a minute or two I found
myself, from habit, sneaking off there much as usual. Presently
I became aware of a certain
solace and
consolation in my
newly-recovered
independence of action. Quit of all
female whims
and fanciful restrictions, I rowed, sailed, or punted, just as I
pleased; in the Chocolate-room I
cracked and nibbled the hard
sticks, with a certain
contempt for those who preferred the soft,
veneered article; and I mixed and quaffed
countless fizzy drinks
without dread of any prohibitionist. Finally, I swaggered into
the park, paraded all my soldiers on the
terrace, and, bidding
them take the time from me, gave the order to fire off all the
guns.
THE MAGIC RING
Grown-up people really ought to be more careful. Among
themselves it may seem but a small thing to give their word and
take back their word. For them there are so many compensations.
Life lies at their feet, a party-coloured india-rubber ball; they
may kick it this way or kick it that, it turns up blue, yellow,
or green, but always coloured and glistening. Thus one sees it
happen almost every day, and, with a jest and a laugh, the thing
is over, and the disappointed one turns to fresh pleasure, lying
ready to his hand. But with those who are below them, whose
little globe is swayed by them, who rush to build star-pointing
alhambras on their most
casual word, they really ought to be more
careful.
In this case of the
circus, for
instance, it was not as if we had
led up to the subject. It was they who began it entirely--
prompted
thereto by the local newspaper. "What, a
circus!" said
they, in their irritating,
casual way: "that would be nice to
take the children to. Wednesday would be a good day. Suppose we
go on Wednesday. Oh, and pleats are being worn again, with rows
of deep braid," etc.
What the others thought I know not; what they said, if they said
anything, I did not
comprehend. For me the house was bursting,
walls seemed to cramp and to
stifle, the roof was jumping and
lifting. Escape was the
imperative thing--to escape into the
open air, to shake off bricks and
mortar, and to
wander in the
unfrequented places of the earth, the more
properly to take in
the
passion and the promise of the giddy situation.
Nature seemed prim and staid that day and the globe gave no
hint that it was flying round a
circus ring of its own. Could
they really be true, I wondered, all those bewildering things I
had heard tell of
circuses? Did long-tailed ponies really walk
on their hind-legs and fire off pistols? Was it humanly possible
for clowns to perform one-half of the bewitching drolleries
recorded in history? And how, oh, how dare I
venture to believe
that, from off the backs of
creamy Arab steeds, ladies of more
than
earthly beauty discharged themselves through paper hoops?
No, it was not
altogether possible, there must have been some
exaggeration. Still, I would be content with very little, I
would take a low percentage--a very small
proportion of the
circus myth would more than satisfy me. But again, even
supposing that history were, once in a way, no liar, could it be
that I myself was really fated to look upon this thing in the
flesh and to live through it, to
survive the
rapture? No, it was
altogether too much. Something was bound to happen, one of us
would develop measles, the world would blow up with a loud
explosion. I must not dare, I must not
presume, to
entertain the
smallest hope. I must
endeavoursternly to think of something
else.
Needless to say, I thought, I dreamed of nothing else, day or
night. Waking, I walked arm-in-arm with a clown, and
cracked a
portentous whip to the brave music of a band. Sleeping, I
pursued--perched astride of a coal-black horse--a
princess all
gauze and spangles, who always managed to keep just one
unattainable length ahead. In the early morning Harold and I,
once fully awake, cross-examined each other as to the
possibilities of this or that
circustradition, and exhausted the
lore long ere the first housemaid was
stirring. In this
state of exaltation we slipped
onward to what promised to be a
day of all white days--which brings me right back to my text,
that
grown-up people really ought to be more careful.
I had known it could never really be; I had said so to myself a
dozen times. The
vision was too
sweetlyethereal for embodiment.
Yet the pang of the disillusionment was none the less keen and
sickening, and the pain was as that of a corporeal wound. It
seemed strange and foreboding, when we entered the breakfast-
room, not to find everybody cracking whips, jumping over chairs,
and whooping. In ecstatic
rehearsal of the wild
reality to come.
The situation became grim and pallid indeed, when I caught the
expressions "garden-party" and "my mauve tulle," and realized
that they both referred to that very afternoon. And every
minute, as I sat silent and listened, my heart sank lower and
lower, descending relentlessly like a clock-weight into my boot
soles.
Throughout my agony I never dreamed of resorting to a direct
question, much less a
reproach. Even during the period of joyful
anticipation some fear of breaking the spell had kept me from any
bald
circus talk in the presence of them. But Harold, who was
built in quite another way, so soon as he discerned the drift of
their conversation and heard the knell of all his hopes, filled
the room with wail and clamour of bereavement. The grinning