Have to my widow; and if she be froward,
Then hast thou taught Hortensio to be untoward. Exit
ACT V. SCENE I.
Padua. Before LUCENTIO'S house
Enter BIONDELLO, LUCENTIO, and BIANCA; GREMIO
is out before
BIONDELLO. Softly and
swiftly, sir, for the
priest is ready.
LUCENTIO. I fly, Biondello; but they may chance to need the at
home,
therefore leave us.
BIONDELLO. Nay, faith, I'll see the church a your back, and then
come back to my master's as soon as I can.
Exeunt LUCENTIO, BIANCA, and BIONDELLO
GREMIO. I
marvel Cambio comes not all this while.
Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, VINCENTIO, GRUMIO,
and ATTENDANTS
PETRUCHIO. Sir, here's the door; this is Lucentio's house;
My father's bears more toward the market-place;
T
hither must I, and here I leave you, sir.
VINCENTIO. You shall not choose but drink before you go;
I think I shall command your
welcome here,
And by all
likelihood some cheer is toward. [Knocks]
GREMIO. They're busy within; you were best knock louder.
[PEDANT looks out of the window]
PEDANT. What's he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?
VINCENTIO. Is Signior Lucentio within, sir?
PEDANT. He's within, sir, but not to be
spoken withal.
VINCENTIO. What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two to make
merry withal?
PEDANT. Keep your hundred pounds to yourself; he shall need none so
long as I live.
PETRUCHIO. Nay, I told you your son was well
beloved in Padua. Do
you hear, sir? To leave
frivolous circumstances, I pray you tell
Signior Lucentio that his father is come from Pisa, and is here
at the door to speak with him.
PEDANT. Thou liest: his father is come from Padua, and here looking
out at the window.
VINCENTIO. Art thou his father?
PEDANT. Ay, sir; so his mother says, if I may believe her.
PETRUCHIO. [To VINCENTIO] Why, how now, gentleman!
Why, this is flat knavery to take upon you another man's name.
PEDANT. Lay hands on the
villain; I believe 'a means to cozen
somebody in this city under my
countenance.
Re-enter BIONDELLO
BIONDELLO. I have seen them in the church together. God send 'em
good shipping! But who is here? Mine old master, Vicentio! Now we
are
undone and brought to nothing.
VINCENTIO. [Seeing BIONDELLO] Come
hither, crack-hemp.
BIONDELLO. I hope I may choose, sir.
VINCENTIO. Come
hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?
BIONDELLO. Forgot you! No, sir. I could not forget you, for I never
saw you before in all my life.
VINCENTIO. What, you
notoriousvillain, didst thou never see thy
master's father, Vincentio?
BIONDELLO. What, my old
worshipful old master? Yes, marry, sir; see
where he looks out of the window.
VINCENTIO. Is't so, indeed? [He beats BIONDELLO]
BIONDELLO. Help, help, help! Here's a
madman will murder me.
Exit
PEDANT. Help, son! help, Signior Baptista! Exit from above
PETRUCHIO. Prithee, Kate, let's stand aside and see the end of this
controversy. [They stand aside]
Re-enter PEDANT below; BAPTISTA, TRANIO, and SERVANTS
TRANIO. Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?
VINCENTIO. What am I, sir? Nay, what are you, sir? O
immortal gods!
O fine
villain! A
silkendoublet, a
velvet hose, a
scarlet cloak,
and a copatain hat! O, I am
undone! I am
undone! While I play the
good husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at the
university.
TRANIO. How now! what's the matter?
BAPTISTA. What, is the man lunatic?
TRANIO. Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your habit, but
your words show you a
madman. Why, sir, what 'cerns it you if I
wear pearl and gold? I thank my good father, I am able to
maintain it.
VINCENTIO. Thy father! O
villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.
BAPTISTA. You mistake, sir; you mistake, sir. Pray, what do you
think is his name?
VINCENTIO. His name! As if I knew not his name! I have brought him
up ever since he was three years old, and his name is Tranio.
PEDANT. Away, away, mad ass! His name is Lucentio; and he is mine
only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vicentio.
VINCENTIO. Lucentio! O, he hath murd'red his master! Lay hold on
him, I
charge you, in the Duke's name. O, my son, my son! Tell
me, thou
villain, where is my son, Lucentio?
TRANIO. Call forth an officer.
Enter one with an OFFICER
Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista, I
charge you
see that he be forthcoming.
VINCENTIO. Carry me to the gaol!
GREMIO. Stay, Officer; he shall not go to prison.
BAPTISTA. Talk not, Signior Gremio; I say he shall go to prison.
GREMIO. Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be cony-catch'd in
this business; I dare swear this is the right Vincentio.
PEDANT. Swear if thou dar'st.
GREMIO. Nay, I dare not swear it.
TRANIO. Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.
GREMIO. Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.
BAPTISTA. Away with the dotard; to the gaol with him!
VINCENTIO. Thus strangers may be hal'd and abus'd. O monstrous
villain!
Re-enter BIONDELLO, with LUCENTIO and BIANCA
BIONDELLO. O, we are spoil'd; and yonder he is! Deny him, forswear
him, or else we are all
undone.
Exeunt BIONDELLO, TRANIO, and PEDANT, as fast as may be
LUCENTIO. [Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.
VINCENTIO. Lives my sweet son?
BIANCA. Pardon, dear father.
BAPTISTA. How hast thou offended?
Where is Lucentio?
LUCENTIO. Here's Lucentio,
Right son to the right Vincentio,
That have by marriage made thy daughter mine,
While
counterfeit supposes blear'd thine eyne.
GREMIO. Here's packing, with a
witness, to
deceive us all!
VINCENTIO. Where is that
damnedvillain, Tranio,
That fac'd and brav'd me in this matter so?
BAPTISTA. Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?
BIANCA. Cambio is chang'd into Lucentio.
LUCENTIO. Love
wrought these miracles. Bianca's love
Made me exchange my state with Tranio,
While he did bear my
countenance in the town;
And happily I have arrived at the last
Unto the wished haven of my bliss.
What Tranio did, myself enforc'd him to;
Then
pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.
VINCENTIO. I'll slit the
villain's nose that would have sent me to
the gaol.
BAPTISTA. [To LUCENTIO] But do you hear, sir? Have you married my
daughter without asking my good will?
VINCENTIO. Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to; but I
will in to be revenged for this
villainy. Exit
BAPTISTA. And I to sound the depth of this knavery. Exit
LUCENTIO. Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.
Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA
GREMIO. My cake is dough, but I'll in among the rest;
Out of hope of all but my share of the feast. Exit
KATHERINA. Husband, let's follow to see the end of this ado.
PETRUCHIO. First kiss me, Kate, and we will.
KATHERINA. What, in the midst of the street?
PETRUCHIO. What, art thou asham'd of me?
KATHERINA. No, sir; God
forbid; but asham'd to kiss.
PETRUCHIO. Why, then, let's home again. Come, sirrah, let's away.
KATHERINA. Nay, I will give thee a kiss; now pray thee, love, stay.
PETRUCHIO. Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate:
Better once than never, for never too late. Exeunt
SCENE II.
LUCENTIO'S house
Enter BAPTISTA, VINCENTIO, GREMIO, the PEDANT,
LUCENTIO, BIANCA, PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, HORTENSIO,
and WIDOW. The SERVINGMEN with TRANIO, BIONDELLO, and GRUMIO,
bringing in a
banquetLUCENTIO. At last, though long, our jarring notes agree;
And time it is when raging war is done
To smile at scapes and perils overblown.
My fair Bianca, bid my father
welcome,
While I with self-same kindness
welcome thine.
Brother Petruchio, sister Katherina,
And thou, Hortensio, with thy
loving widow,
Feast with the best, and
welcome to my house.
My
banquet is to close our stomachs up
After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down;
For now we sit to chat as well as eat. [They sit]
PETRUCHIO. Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!
BAPTISTA. Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.
PETRUCHIO. Padua affords nothing but what is kind.
HORTENSIO. For both our sakes I would that word were true.
PETRUCHIO. Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.
WIDOW. Then never trust me if I be afeard.
PETRUCHIO. YOU are very
sensible, and yet you miss my sense:
I mean Hortensio is afeard of you.
WIDOW. He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.
PETRUCHIO. Roundly replied.
KATHERINA. Mistress, how mean you that?
WIDOW. Thus I
conceive by him.
PETRUCHIO. Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?
HORTENSIO. My widow says thus she
conceives her tale.
PETRUCHIO. Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.
KATHERINA. 'He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.'
I pray you tell me what you meant by that.
WIDOW. Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,
Measures my husband's sorrow by his woe;
And now you know my meaning.
KATHERINA. A very mean meaning.
WIDOW. Right, I mean you.
KATHERINA. And I am mean, indeed,
respecting you.
PETRUCHIO. To her, Kate!
HORTENSIO. To her, widow!
PETRUCHIO. A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.
HORTENSIO. That's my office.
PETRUCHIO. Spoke like an officer- ha' to thee, lad.
[Drinks to HORTENSIO]
BAPTISTA. How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?
GREMIO. Believe me, sir, they butt together well.
BIANCA. Head and butt! An hasty-witted body
Would say your head and butt were head and horn.
VINCENTIO. Ay,
mistress bride, hath that awakened you?
BIANCA. Ay, but not frighted me;
therefore I'll sleep again.
PETRUCHIO. Nay, that you shall not; since you have begun,
Have at you for a bitter jest or two.
BIANCA. Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush,
And then
pursue me as you draw your bow.