Proposing with the Prince and Claudio.
Whisper her ear and tell her, I and Ursley
Walk in the
orchard, and our whole discourse
Is all of her. Say that thou overheard'st us;
And bid her steal into the pleached bower,
Where honeysuckles, ripened by the sun,
Forbid the sun to enter--like favourites,
Made proud by
princes, that advance their pride
Against that power that bred it. There will she hide her
To listen our propose. This is thy office.
Bear thee well in it and leave us alone.
Marg. I'll make her come, I
warrant you,
presently. [Exit.]
Hero. Now, Ursula, when Beatrice doth come,
As we do trace this alley up and down,
Our talk must only be of Benedick.
When I do name him, let it be thy part
To praise him more than ever man did merit.
My talk to thee must be how Benedick
Is sick in love with Beatrice. Of this matter
Is little Cupid's
crafty arrow made,
That only wounds by hearsay.
[Enter Beatrice.]
Now begin;
For look where Beatrice like a lapwing runs
Close by the ground, to hear our conference.
[Beatrice hides in the arbour].
Urs. The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish
Cut with her golden oars the silver stream
And
greedilydevour the
treacherous bait.
So angle we for Beatrice, who even now
Is couched in the woodbine coverture.
Fear you not my part of the dialogue.
Hero. Then go we near her, that her ear lose nothing
Of the false sweet bait that we lay for it.
[They approach the arbour.]
No, truly, Ursula, she is too disdainful.
I know her spirits are as coy and wild
As haggards of the rock.
Urs. But are you sure
That Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely?
Hero. So says the Prince, and my new-trothed lord.
Urs. And did they bid you tell her of it, madam?
Hero. They did
entreat me to
acquaint her of it;
But I persuaded them, if they lov'd Benedick,
To wish him
wrestle with affection
And never to let Beatrice know of it.
Urs. Why did you so? Doth not the gentleman
Deserve as full, as
fortunate a bed
As ever Beatrice shall couch upon?
Hero. O god of love! I know he doth
deserveAs much as may be yielded to a man:
But Nature never fram'd a woman's heart
Of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice.
Disdain and scorn ride sparkling in her eyes,
Misprizing what they look on; and her wit
Values itself so highly that to her
All matter else seems weak. She cannot love,
Nor take no shape nor
project of affection,
She is so self-endeared.
Urs. Sure I think so;
And
therefore certainly it were not good
She knew his love, lest she'll make sport at it.
Hero. Why, you speak truth. I never yet saw man,
How wise, how noble, young, how
rarely featur'd,
But she would spell him
backward. If fair-fac'd,
She would swear the gentleman should be her sister;
If black, why, Nature,
drawing of an antic,
Made a foul blot; if tall, a lance ill-headed;
If low, an agate very vilely cut;
If
speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds;
If silent, why, a block moved with none.
So turns she every man the wrong side out
And never gives to truth and
virtue that
Which simpleness and merit purchaseth.
Urs. Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable.
Hero. No, not to be so odd, and from all fashions,
As Beatrice is, cannot be commendable.
But who dare tell her so? If I should speak,
She would mock me into air; O, she would laugh me
Out of myself, press me to death with wit!
Therefore let Benedick, like cover'd fire,
Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly.
It were a better death than die with mocks,
Which is as bad as die with tickling.
Urs. Yet tell her of it. Hear what she will say.
Hero. No; rather I will go to Benedick
And
counsel him to fight against his passion.
And truly, I'll
devise some honest slanders
To stain my cousin with. One doth not know
How much an ill word may empoison liking.
Urs. O, do not do your cousin such a wrong!
She cannot be so much without true judgment
(Having so swift and excellent a wit
As she is priz'd to have) as to refuse
So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick.
Hero. He is the only man of Italy,
Always excepted my dear Claudio.
Urs. I pray you be not angry with me, madam,
Speaking my fancy: Signior Benedick,
For shape, for
bearing,
argument, and valour,
Goes
foremost in report through Italy.
Hero. Indeed he hath an excellent good name.
Urs. His
excellence did earn it ere he had it.
When are you married, madam?
Hero. Why, every day to-morrow! Come, go in.
I'll show thee some attires, and have thy
counselWhich is the best to furnish me to-morrow.
[They walk away.]
Urs. She's lim'd, I
warrant you! We have caught her, madam.
Hero. If it prove so, then
loving goes by haps;
Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.
Exeunt [Hero and Ursula].
[Beatrice advances from the arbour.]
Beat. What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?
Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorn so much?
Contempt, farewell! and
maiden pride, adieu!
No glory lives behind the back of such.
And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,
Taming my wild heart to thy
loving hand.
If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee
To bind our loves up in a holy band;
For others say thou dost
deserve, and I
Believe it better than reportingly. Exit.
Scene II.
A room in Leonato's house.
Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, and Leonato.
Pedro. I do but stay till your marriage be
consummate, and then go
I toward Arragon.
Claud. I'll bring you
thither, my lord, if you'll
vouchsafe me.
Pedro. Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your
marriage as to show a child his new coat and
forbid him to wear
it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from
the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth.
He hath twice or
thrice cut Cupid's bowstring, and the little
hangman dare not shoot at him. He hath a heart as sound as a
bell; and his tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks,
his tongue speaks.
Bene. Gallants, I am not as I have been.
Leon. So say I. Methinks you are sadder.
Claud. I hope he be in love.
Pedro. Hang him, truant! There's no true drop of blood in him to be
truly touch'd with love. If he be sad, he wants money.
Bene. I have the toothache.
Pedro. Draw it.
Bene. Hang it!
Claud. You must hang it first and draw it afterwards.
Pedro. What? sigh for the toothache?
Leon. Where is but a
humour or a worm.
Bene. Well, every one can master a grief but he that has it.
Claud. Yet say I he is in love.
Pedro. There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy
that he hath to strange disguises; as to be a Dutchman to-day, a
Frenchman to-morrow; or in the shape of two countries at once, as
a German from the waist
downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from
the hip
upward, no
doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this
foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you
would have it appear he is.
Claud. If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing
old signs. 'A brushes his hat o' mornings. What should that bode?
Pedro. Hath any man seen him at the barber's?
Claud. No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him, and the
old
ornament of his cheek hath already stuff'd
tennis balls.
Leon. Indeed he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.
Pedro. Nay, 'a rubs himself with civet. Can you smell him out by
that?
Claud. That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in love.
Pedro. The greatest note of it is his melancholy.
Claud. And when was he wont to wash his face?
Pedro. Yea, or to paint himself? for the which I hear what they say
of him.
Claud. Nay, but his jesting spirit, which is new-crept into a
lutestring, and now govern'd by stops.
Pedro. Indeed that tells a heavy tale for him. Conclude, conclude,
he is in love.
Claud. Nay, but I know who loves him.
Pedro. That would I know too. I
warrant, one that knows him not.
Claud. Yes, and his ill conditions; and in
despite of all, dies for
him.
Pedro. She shall be buried with her face
upwards.
Bene. Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old signior, walk
aside with me. I have
studied eight or nine wise words to speak
to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear.
[Exeunt Benedick and Leonato.]
Pedro. For my life, to break with him about Beatrice!
Claud. 'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played their
parts with Beatrice, and then the two bears will not bite one
another when they meet.
Enter John the Bastard.
John. My lord and brother, God save you.
Pedro. Good den, brother.
John. If your
leisure serv'd, I would speak with you.
Pedro. In private?
John. If it please you. Yet Count Claudio may hear, for what I
would speak of concerns him.
Pedro. What's the matter?
John. [to Claudio] Means your
lordship to be married tomorrow?
Pedro. You know he does.
John. I know not that, when he knows what I know.
Claud. If there be any
impediment, I pray you discover it.
John. You may think I love you not. Let that appear
hereafter, and
aim better at me by that I now will
manifest. For my brother, I