Claud. You speak this to fetch me in, my lord.
Pedro. By my troth, I speak my thought.
Claud. And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.
Bene. And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine.
Claud. That I love her, I feel.
Pedro. That she is
worthy, I know.
Bene. That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor know how she
should be
worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me.
I will die in it at the stake.
Pedro. Thou wast ever an
obstinateheretic in the
despite of
beauty.
Claud. And never could
maintain his part but in the force of his
will.
Bene. That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me
up, I
likewise give her most
humble thanks; but that I will have
a rechate winded in my
forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible
baldrick, all women shall
pardon me. Because I will not do them
the wrong to
mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust
none; and the fine is (for the which I may go the finer), I will
live a bachelor.
Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.
Bene. With anger, with
sickness, or with
hunger, my lord; not with
love. Prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get
again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen
and hang me up at the door of a brothel house for the sign of
blind Cupid.
Pedro. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt
prove a
notable argument.
Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me; and
he that hits me, let him be clapp'd on the shoulder and call'd
Adam.
Pedro. Well, as time shall try.
'In time the
savage bull doth bear the yoke.'
Bene. The
savage bull may; but if ever the
sensible Benedick bear
it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my
forehead, and
let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as they write
'Here is good horse to hire,' let them
signify under my sign
'Here you may see Benedick the married man.'
Claud. If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.
Pedro. Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his
quiver in Venice, thou
wilt quake for this shortly.
Bene. I look for an
earthquake too then.
Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the
meantime,
good Signior Benedick,
repair to Leonato's,
commend me to him and
tell him I will not fail him at supper; for indeed he hath made
great preparation.
Bene. I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and
so I
commit you--
Claud. To the
tuition of God. From my house--if I had it--
Pedro. The sixth of July. Your
loving friend, Benedick.
Bene. Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your
discourse is
sometime guarded with fragments, and the guards are but slightly
basted on neither. Ere you flout old ends any further, examine
your
conscience. And so I leave you. Exit.
Claud. My liege, your Highness now may do me good.
Pedro. My love is thine to teach. Teach it but how,
And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn
Any hard lesson that may do thee good.
Claud. Hath Leonato any son, my lord?
Pedro. No child but Hero; she's his only heir.
Dost thou
affect her, Claudio?
Claud.O my lord,
When you went
onward on this ended action,
I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye,
That lik'd, but had a rougher task in hand
Than to drive
liking to the name of love;
But now I am return'd and that war-thoughts
Have left their places
vacant, in their rooms
Come thronging soft and
delicate desires,
All prompting me how fair young Hero is,
Saying I lik'd her ere I went to wars.
Pedro. Thou wilt be like a lover
presentlyAnd tire the
hearer with a book of words.
If thou dost love fair Hero,
cherish it,
And I will break with her and with her father,
And thou shalt have her. Wast not to this end
That thou began'st to twist so fine a story?
Claud. How
sweetly you do
minister to love,
That know love's grief by his complexion!
But lest my
liking might too sudden seem,
I would have salv'd it with a longer treatise.
Pedro. What need the
bridge much broader than the flood?
The fairest grant is the necessity.
Look, what will serve is fit. 'Tis once, thou lovest,
And I will fit thee with the
remedy.
I know we shall have revelling to-night.
I will assume thy part in some disguise
And tell fair Hero I am Claudio,
And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart
And take her
hearing prisoner with the force
And strong
encounter of my amorous tale.
Then after to her father will I break,
And the
conclusion is, she shall be thine.
In practice let us put it
presently. Exeunt.
Scene II.
A room in Leonato's house.
Enter [at one door] Leonato and [at another door, Antonio]
an old man, brother to Leonato.
Leon. How now, brother? Where is my cousin your son? Hath he
provided this music?
Ant. He is very busy about it. But, brother, I can tell you strange
news that you yet dreamt not of.
Leon. Are they good?
Ant. As the event stamps them; but they have a good cover, they
show well
outward. The Prince and Count Claudio, walking in a
thick-pleached alley in mine
orchard, were thus much overheard by
a man of mine: the Prince discovered to Claudio that he loved my
niece your daughter and meant to
acknowledge it this night in a
dance, and if he found her accordant, he meant to take the
present time by the top and
instantly break with you of it.
Leon. Hath the fellow any wit that told you this?
Ant. A good sharp fellow. I will send for him, and question him
yourself.
Leon. No, no. We will hold it as a dream till it appear itself; but
I will
acquaint my daughter
withal, that she may be the better
prepared for an answer, if peradventure this be true. Go you and
tell her of it. [Exit Antonio.]
[Enter Antonio's Son with a Musician, and others.]
[To the Son] Cousin, you know what you have to do.
--[To the Musician] O, I cry you mercy, friend. Go you with me,
and I will use your skill.--Good cousin, have a care this busy
time. Exeunt.
Scene III.
Another room in Leonato's house.]
Enter Sir John the Bastard and Conrade, his companion.
Con. What the goodyear, my lord! Why are you thus out of
measuresad?
John. There is no
measure in the occasion that breeds;
thereforethe
sadness is without limit.
Con. You should hear reason.
John. And when I have heard it, what blessings brings it?
Con. If not a present
remedy, at least a patient sufferance.
John. I wonder that thou (being, as thou say'st thou art, born
under Saturn) goest about to apply a moral medicine to a
mortifying
mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when
I have cause, and smile at no man's jests; eat when I have
stomach, and wait for no man's
leisure; sleep when I am drowsy,
and tend on no man's business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no
man in his humour.
Con. Yea, but you must not make the full show of this till you may
do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against
your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace, where
it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair
weather that you make yourself. It is needful that you frame the
season for your own harvest.
John. I had rather be a
canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace,
and it better fits my blood to be disdain'd of all than to
fashion a
carriage to rob love from any. In this, though I cannot
be said to be a
flattering honest man, it must not be denied but
I am a plain-dealing
villain. I am trusted with a
muzzle and
enfranchis'd with a clog;
therefore I have decreed not to sing in
my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I
would do my
liking. In the
meantime let me be that I am, and seek
not to alter me.
Con. Can you make no use of your discontent?
John. I make all use of it, for I use it only.
Enter Borachio.
Who comes here? What news, Borachio?
Bora. I came yonder from a great supper. The Prince your brother is
royally entertain'd by Leonato, and I can give you intelligence
of an intended marriage.
John. Will it serve for any model to build
mischief on?
What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?
Bora. Marry, it is your brother's right hand.
John. Who? the most
exquisite Claudio?
Bora. Even he.
John. A proper squire! And who? and who? which way looks he?
Bora. Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.
John. A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?
Bora. Being entertain'd for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty
room, comes me the Prince and Claudio, hand in hand in sad
conference. I whipt me behind the arras and there heard it agreed
upon that the Prince should woo Hero for himself, and having
obtain'd her, give her to Count Claudio.
John. Come, come, let us
thither. This may prove food to my
displeasure. That young start-up hath all the glory of my
overthrow. If I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way.
You are both sure, and will
assist me?
Con. To the death, my lord.
John. Let us to the great supper. Their cheer is the greater that
I am subdued. Would the cook were o' my mind! Shall we go prove
what's to be done?
Bora. We'll wait upon your lordship.
Exeunt.
ACT II. Scene I.
A hall in Leonato's house.
Enter Leonato, [Antonio] his Brother, Hero his Daughter, and
Beatrice his Niece, and a Kinsman; [also Margaret and Ursula].
Leon. Was not Count John here at supper?
Ant. I saw him not.
Beat. How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him but I am
heart-burn'd an hour after.
Hero. He is of a very
melancholy disposition.
Beat. He were an excellent man that were made just in the midway
between him and Benedick. The one is too like an image and says
nothing, and the other too like my lady's
eldest son, evermore
tattling.
Leon. Then half Signior Benedick's tongue in Count John's mouth,
and half Count John's
melancholy in Signior Benedick's face--
Beat. With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and money enough in
his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world--if 'a