PART II.
CHAPTER I.
CURATE.
By Mr. Hare's
account, no
priest of any Church could more fervently
address himself to his
functions than Sterling now did. He went about
among the poor, the
ignorant, and those that had need of help;
zealously forwarded schools and beneficences;
strove, with his whole
might, to
instruct and aid whosoever suffered
consciously in body, or
still worse
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unconsciously in mind. He had charged himself to make the
Apostle Paul his model; the perils and voyagings and
ultimatemartyrdom of Christian Paul, in those old ages, on the great scale,
were to be translated into detail, and become the practical
emblem of
Christian Sterling on the coast of Sussex in this new age. "It would
be no longer from Jerusalem to Damascus," writes Sterling, "to Arabia,
to Derbe, Lystra, Ephesus, that he would travel: but each house of
his appointed Parish would be to him what each of those great cities
was,--a place where he would bend his whole being, and spend his heart
for the
conversion, purification,
elevation of those under his
influence. The whole man would be forever at work for this purpose;
head, heart, knowledge, time, body, possessions, all would be directed
to this end." A high enough model set before one:--how to be
realized!--Sterling hoped to realize it, to struggle towards realizing
it, in some small degree. This is Mr. Hare's report of him:--
"He was
continually devising some fresh
scheme for improving the
condition of the Parish. His aim was to
awaken the minds of the
people, to
arouse their
conscience, to call forth their sense of moral
responsibility, to make them feel their own sinfulness, their need of
redemption, and thus lead them to a
recognition of the Divine Love by
which that redemption is offered to us. In visiting them he was
diligent in all weathers, to the risk of his own health, which was
greatly impaired
thereby; and his
gentleness and
considerate care for
the sick won their
affection; so that, though his stay was very short,
his name is still, after a dozen years, cherished by many."
How beautiful would Sterling be in all this; rushing forward like a
host towards
victory; playing and pulsing like
sunshine or soft
lightning; busy at all hours to perform his part in
abundant and
super
abundant measure! "Of that which it was to me personally,"
continues Mr. Hare, "to have such a fellow-laborer, to live constantly
in the freest
communion with such a friend, I cannot speak. He came
to me at a time of heavy
affliction, just after I had heard that the
Brother, who had been the sharer of all my thoughts and feelings from
childhood, had bid
farewell to his
earthly life at Rome; and thus he
seemed given to me to make up in some sort for him whom I had lost.
Almost daily did I look out for his usual hour of coming to me, and
watch his tall
slender form walking rapidly across the hill in front
of my window; with the
assurance that he was coming to cheer and
brighten, to rouse and stir me, to call me up to some
height of
feeling, or down to some depth of thought. His
lively spirit,
responding instantaneously to every
impulse of Nature and Art; his
generous ardor in
behalf of
whatever is noble and true; his scorn of
all meanness, of all false pretences and
conventionalbeliefs,
softened as it was by
compassion for the victims of those besetting
sins of a
cultivated age; his never-flagging impetuosity in pushing
onward to some unattained point of duty or of knowledge: all this,
along with his gentle, almost reverential
affectionateness towards his
former tutor, rendered my
intercourse with him an unspeakable
blessing; and time after time has it seemed to me that his visit had
been like a
shower of rain, bringing down
freshness and
brightness on
a dusty
roadside hedge. By him too the
recollection of these our
daily meetings was cherished till the last."[11]
There are many poor people still at Herstmonceux who
affectionately
remember him: Mr. Hare especially makes mention of one good man
there, in his young days "a poor cobbler," and now
advanced to a much
better position, who
gratefully ascribes this
outward and the other
improvements in his life to Sterling's
generousencouragement and
charitable care for him. Such was the curate life at Herstmonceux.
So, in those
actual leafy lanes, on the edge of Pevensey Level, in
this new age, did our poor New Paul (on hest of certain
oracles)
diligently study to comport himself,--and struggle with all his might
_not_ to be a moonshine shadow of the First Paul.
It was in this summer of 1834,--month of May,
shortly after arriving
in London,--that I first saw Sterling's Father. A stout broad
gentleman of sixty,
perpendicular in attitude, rather showily dressed,
and of
gracious,
ingenious and
slightlyelaborate manners. It was at
Mrs. Austin's in Bayswater; he was just
taking leave as I entered, so
our
interview lasted only a moment: but the figure of the man, as
Sterling's father, had already an interest for me, and I remember the
time well. Captain Edward Sterling, as we
formerly called him, had
now quite dropt the military title, nobody even of his friends now
remembering it; and was known, according to his wish, in political and
other circles, as Mr. Sterling, a private gentleman of some figure.
Over whom hung,
moreover, a kind of
mysterious nimbus as the
principalor one of the
principal writers in the _Times_, which gave an
interesting chiaroscuro to his
character in society. A potent,
profitable, but somewhat
questionable position; of which, though he
affected, and sometimes with anger,
altogether to disown it, and
rigorously insisted on the rights of anonymity, he was not unwilling
to take the honors too: the private pecuniary advantages were very
undeniable; and his
reception in the Clubs, and
occasionally in higher
quarters, was a good deal modelled on the
universalbelief in it.
John Sterling at Herstmonceux that afternoon, and his Father here in
London, would have offered strange contrasts to an eye that had seen
them both. Contrasts, and yet concordances. They were two very
different-looking men, and were following two very different modes of
activity that afternoon. And yet with a strange family
likeness, too,
both in the men and their activities; the central
impulse in each, the
faculties
applied to
fulfil said
impulse, not at all dissimilar,--as
grew
visible to me on farther knowledge.
CHAPTER II.
NOT CURATE.
Thus it went on for some months at Herstmonceux; but thus it could not
last. We said there were already
misgivings as to health, &c. in
September:[12] that was but the fourth month, for it had begun only in
June. The like clouds of
misgiving, flights of dark vapor, chequering
more and more the bright sky of this promised land, rose heavier and
rifer month after month; till in February following, that is in the
eighth month from starting, the sky had grown quite overshaded; and
poor Sterling had to think practically of
departure from his promised
land again,
finding that the goal of his
pilgrimage was _not_ there.
Not there,
wherever it may be! March again,
therefore; the abiding
city, and post at which we can live and die, is still ahead of us, it
would appear!
"Ill-health" was the
external cause; and, to all parties
concerned, to
Sterling himself I have no doubt as completely as to any, the one
determining cause. Nor was the ill-health
wanting; it was there in
too sad
reality. And yet
properly it was not there as the burden; it
was there as the last ounce which broke the camel's back. I take it,
in this as in other cases known to me, ill-health was not the
primarycause but rather the
ultimate one, the summing-up of
innumerable far
deeper
conscious and un
conscious causes,--the cause which could boldly
show itself on the surface, and give the casting vote. Such was often
Sterling's way, as one could observe in such cases: though the most
guileless, undeceptive and
transparent of men, he had a noticeable,
almost childlike
faculty of self-deception, and usually substituted
for the
primary determining
motive and set of
motives, some
ultimateostensible one, and gave that out to himself and others as the ruling
impulse for important changes in life. As is the way with much more
ponderous and
deliberate men;--as is the way, in a degree, with all
men!
Enough, in February, 1835, Sterling came up to London, to
consult with
his physicians,--and in fact in all ways to consider with himself and
friends,--what was to be done in regard to this Herstmonceux business.
The
oracle of the physicians, like that of Delphi, was not exceedingly
determinate: but it did bear, what was a
sufficiently undeniable
fact, that Sterling's
constitution, with a
tendency to pulmonary
ailments, was ill-suited for the office of a
preacher; that total
abstinence from
preaching for a year or two would clearly be the safer
course. To which effect he writes to Mr. Hare with a tone of
sorrowful
agitation; gives up his
clerical duties at
Herstmonceux;--and never resumed them there or
elsewhere. He had been
in the Church eight months in all: a brief section of his life, but
an important one, which colored several of his
subsequent years, and
now
strangely colors all his years in the memory of some.
This we may
account the second grand
crisis of his History.
Radicalism, not long since, had come to its consummation, and
vanished
from him in a
tragic manner. "Not by Radicalism is the path to Human
Nobleness for me!" And here now had English Priesthood risen like a
sun, over the waste ruins and
extinct volcanoes of his dead Radical