by a low, grated door; or even of having their lamp,
their only lamp, extinguished by a sudden gust of wind,
and of being left in total darkness. In the meanwhile,
they proceeded on their journey without any mischance,
and were within view of the town of Keynsham, when a halloo
from Morland, who was behind them, made his friend pull up,
to know what was the matter. The others then came close
enough for conversation, and Morland said, "We had
better go back, Thorpe; it is too late to go on today;
your sister thinks so as well as I. We have been exactly
an hour coming from Pulteney Street, very little more
than seven miles; and, I suppose, we have at least eight
more to go. It will never do. We set out a great deal
too late. We had much better put it off till another day,
and turn round."
"It is all one to me," replied Thorpe rather angrily;
and
instantly turning his horse, they were on their way
back to Bath.
"If your brother had not got such a d-- beast to drive,"
said he soon afterwards, "we might have done it very well.
My horse would have trotted to Clifton within the hour,
if left to himself, and I have almost broke my arm with
pulling him in to that cursed broken-winded jade's pace.
Morland is a fool for not keeping a horse and gig of
his own."
"No, he is not," said Catherine warmly, "for I am
sure he could not afford it."
"And why cannot he afford it?"
"Because he has not money enough."
"And whose fault is that?"
"Nobody's, that I know of." Thorpe then said something
in the loud, incoherent way to which he had often recourse,
about its being a d-- thing to be miserly; and that if
people who rolled in money could not afford things,
he did not know who could, which Catherine did not even
endeavour to understand. Disappointed of what was to
have been the
consolation for her first disappointment,
she was less and less disposed either to be agreeable
herself or to find her
companion so; and they returned
to Pulteney Street without her
speaking twenty words.
As she entered the house, the
footman told her that a
gentleman and lady had catted and inquired for her a few
minutes after her
setting off; that, when he told them she
was gone out with Mr. Thorpe, the lady had asked whether
any message had been left for her; and on his
saying no,
had felt for a card, but said she had none about her,
and went away. Pondering over these heart-rending tidings,
Catherine walked slowly
upstairs. At the head of them
she was met by Mr. Allen, who, on
hearing the reason
of their
speedy return, said, "I am glad your brother
had so much sense; I am glad you are come back.
It was a strange, wild scheme."
They all spent the evening together at Thorpe's.
Catherine was disturbed and out of spirits; but Isabella
seemed to find a pool of
commerce, in the fate of
which she shared, by private
partnership with Morland,
a very good
equivalent for the quiet and country air
of an inn at Clifton. Her
satisfaction, too, in not
being at the Lower Rooms was
spoken more than once.
"How I pity the poor creatures that are going there! How
glad I am that I am not
amongst them! I wonder whether
it will be a full ball or not! They have not begun
dancing yet. I would not be there for all the world.
It is so
delightful to have an evening now and then
to oneself. I dare say it will not be a very good ball.
I know the Mitchells will not be there. I am sure I
pity everybody that is. But I dare say, Mr. Morland,
you long to be at it, do not you? I am sure you do.
Well, pray do not let anybody here be a
restraint on you.
I dare say we could do very well without you; but you men
think yourselves of such consequence."
Catherine could almost have accused Isabella of being
wanting in
tenderness towards herself and her sorrows,
so very little did they appear to dwell on her mind,
and so very inadequate was the comfort she offered.
"Do not be so dull, my dearest creature," she whispered.
"You will quite break my heart. It was
amazingly" target="_blank" title="ad.惊人地;惊奇地">
amazingly shocking,
to be sure; but the Tilneys were entirely to blame.
Why were not they more
punctual? It was dirty, indeed,
but what did that
signify? I am sure John and I should
not have
minded it. I never mind going through anything,
where a friend is
concerned; that is my disposition,
and John is just the same; he has
amazing strong feelings.
Good heavens! What a
delightful hand you have got! Kings,
I vow! I never was so happy in my life! I would fifty times
rather you should have them than myself."
And now I may
dismiss my
heroine to the
sleepless couch, which is the true
heroine's portion;
to a pillow strewed with thorns and wet with tears.
And lucky may she think herself, if she get another
good night's rest in the course of the next three months.
CHAPTER 12
"Mrs. Allen," said Catherine the next morning,
"will there be any harm in my
calling on Miss Tilney today?
I shall not be easy till I have explained everything."
"Go, by all means, my dear; only put on a white gown;
Miss Tilney always wears white."
Catherine
cheerfully complied, and being
properly equipped,
was more
impatient than ever to be at the pump-room,
that she might inform herself of General Tilneys lodgings,
for though she believed they were in Milsom Street,
she was not certain of the house, and Mrs. Allen's wavering
convictions only made it more
doubtful. To Milsom Street she
was directed, and having made herself perfect in the number,
hastened away with eager steps and a
beating heart
to pay her visit, explain her conduct, and be forgiven;
tripping
lightly through the church-yard, and resolutely
turning away her eyes, that she might not be obliged to see
her
beloved Isabella and her dear family, who, she had
reason to believe, were in a shop hard by. She reached
the house without any
impediment, looked at the number,
knocked at the door, and inquired for Miss Tilney.
The man believed Miss Tilney to be at home, but was not
quite certain. Would she be pleased to send up her name?
She gave her card. In a few minutes the servant returned,
and with a look which did not quite
confirm his words,
said he had been
mistaken, for that Miss Tilney was
walked out. Catherine, with a blush of mortification,
left the house. She felt almost persuaded that Miss
Tilney was at home, and too much offended to admit her;
and as she
retired down the street, could not withhold
one glance at the drawing-room windows, in
expectationof
seeing her there, but no one appeared at them.
At the bottom of the street, however, she looked back again,
and then, not at a window, but issuing from the door,
she saw Miss Tilney herself. She was followed by
a gentleman, whom Catherine believed to be her father,
and they turned up towards Edgar's Buildings.
Catherine, in deep mortification, proceeded on her way.
She could almost be angry herself at such angry incivility;
but she checked the resentful
sensation; she remembered
her own
ignorance. She knew not how such an offence as hers
might be classed by the laws of
worldlypoliteness, to what
a degree of unforgivingness it might with
propriety lead,
nor to what rigours of rudeness in return it might justly
make her amenable.
Dejected and humbled, she had even some thoughts of not
going with the others to the theatre that night; but it
must be confessed that they were not of long continuance,
for she soon recollected, in the first place, that she was
without any excuse for staying at home; and, in the second,
that it was a play she wanted very much to see.
To the theatre
accordingly they all went; no Tilneys
appeared to
plague or please her; she feared that,
amongst the many perfections of the family, a fondness
for plays was not to be ranked; but perhaps it was because
they were habituated to the finer performances of the
London stage, which she knew, on Isabella's authority,
rendered everything else of the kind "quite horrid."
She was not deceived in her own
expectation of pleasure;
the
comedy so well suspended her care that no one,
observing her during the first four acts, would have supposed
she had any wretchedness about her. On the beginning
of the fifth, however, the sudden view of Mr. Henry Tilney
and his father, joining a party in the opposite box,
recalled her to
anxiety and
distress. The stage could
no longer
excitegenuine merriment--no longer keep her
whole attention. Every other look upon an average was
directed towards the opposite box; and, for the space
of two entire scenes, did she thus watch Henry Tilney,
without being once able to catch his eye. No longer could
he be suspected of
indifference for a play; his notice was
never
withdrawn from the stage during two whole scenes.
At length, however, he did look towards her, and he
bowed--but such a bow! No smile, no continued observance
attended it; his eyes were immediately returned to their
former direction. Catherine was
restlessly miserable;
she could almost have run round to the box in which he sat
and forced him to hear her
explanation. Feelings rather
natural than
heroic possessed her; instead of considering
her own
dignity injured by this ready condemnation--instead
of
proudly resolving, in
consciousinnocence, to show her
resentment towards him who could harbour a doubt of it,
to leave to him all the trouble of seeking an
explanation,
and to
enlighten him on the past only by avoiding his sight,
or flirting with somebody else--she took to herself all
the shame of misconduct, or at least of its appearance,
and was only eager for an opportunity of explaining
its cause.
The play concluded--the curtain fell--Henry Tilney
was no longer to be seen where he had
hitherto sat, but his
father remained, and perhaps he might be now coming round
to their box. She was right; in a few minutes he appeared,
and, making his way through the then thinning rows,
spoke with like calm
politeness to Mrs. Allen and her friend.
Not with such
calmness was he answered by the latter:
"Oh! Mr. Tilney, I have been quite wild to speak to you,
and make my apologies. You must have thought me so rude;
but indeed it was not my own fault, was it, Mrs. Allen?
Did not they tell me that Mr. Tilney and his sister were
gone out in a phaeton together? And then what could I do?
But I had ten thousand times rather have been with you;
now had not I, Mrs. Allen?"
"My dear, you tumble my gown," was Mrs. Allen's reply.
Her
assurance, however,
standing sole as it did,
was not thrown away; it brought a more cordial,
more natural smile into his
countenance, and he replied
in a tone which retained only a little
affected reserve:
"We were much obliged to you at any rate for wishing us
a pleasant walk after our passing you in Argyle Street:
you were so kind as to look back on purpose."