"No better and no worse," she said. "He coughed all last night again
fit to kill himself. Poor gentleman, he coughs and spits till it is
piteous. My husband and I often wonder to each other where he gets the
strength from to cough like that. It goes to your heart. What a cursed
complaint it is! He has no strength at all. I am always afraid I shall
find him dead in his bed some morning. He is every bit as pale as a
waxen Christ. DAME! I watch him while he dresses; his poor body is as
thin as a nail. And he does not feel well now; but no matter. It's all
the same; he wears himself out with
running about as if he had health
and to spare. All the same, he is very brave, for he never complains
at all. But really he would be better under the earth than on it, for
he is
enduring the agonies of Christ. I don't wish that myself, sir;
it is quite in our interests; but even if he didn't pay us what he
does, I should be just as fond of him; it is not our own interest that
is our
motive.
"Ah, mon Dieu!" she continued, "Parisians are the people for these
dogs' diseases. Where did he catch it, now? Poor young man! And he is
so sure that he is going to get well! That fever just gnaws him, you
know; it eats him away; it will be the death of him. He has no notion
whatever of that; he does not know it, sir; he sees nothing----You
mustn't cry about him, M. Jonathan; you must remember that he will be
happy, and will not suffer any more. You ought to make a neuvaine for
him; I have seen wonderful cures come of the nine days' prayer, and I
would
gladly pay for a wax taper to save such a gentle creature, so
good he is, a paschal lamb----"
As Raphael's voice had grown too weak to allow him to make himself
heard, he was compelled to listen to this
horrible loquacity. His
irritation, however, drove him out of bed at length, and he appeared
upon the
threshold.
"Old scoundrel!" he shouted to Jonathan; "do you mean to put me to
death?"
The
peasant woman took him for a ghost, and fled.
"I
forbid you to have any
anxietywhatever about my health," Raphael
went on.
"Yes, my Lord Marquis," said the old servant, wiping away his tears.
"And for the future you had very much better not come here without my
orders."
Jonathan meant to be
obedient, but in the look full of pity and
devotion that he gave the Marquis before he went, Raphael read his own
death-warrant. Utterly disheartened, brought all at once to a sense of
his real position, Valentin sat down on the
threshold, locked his arms
across his chest, and bowed his head. Jonathan turned to his master in
alarm, with "My Lord----"
"Go away, go away," cried the
invalid.
In the hours of the next morning, Raphael climbed the crags, and sat
down in a mossy cleft in the rocks,
whence he could see the narrow
path along which the water for the
dwelling was carried. At the base
of the hill he saw Jonathan in conversation with the Auvergnate. Some
malicious power interpreted for him all the woman's forebodings, and
filled the
breeze and the silence with her
ominous words. Thrilled
with
horror, he took
refuge among the highest summits of the
mountains, and stayed there till the evening; but yet he could not
drive away the
gloomy pre
sentiments awakened within him in such an
unfortunate manner by a cruel solicitude on his account.
The Auvergne
peasant herself suddenly appeared before him like a
shadow in the dusk; a perverse freak of the poet within him found a
vague
resemblance between her black and white
stripedpetticoat and
the bony frame of a spectre.
"The damp is falling now, sir," said she. "If you stop out there, you
will go off just like
rotten fruit. You must come in. It isn't healthy
to breathe the damp, and you have taken nothing since the morning,
besides."
"TONNERRE DE DIEU! old witch," he cried; "let me live after my own
fashion, I tell you, or I shall be off
altogether. It is quite bad
enough to dig my grave every morning; you might let it alone in the
evenings at least----"
"Your grave, sir! I dig your grave!--and where may your grave be? I
want to see you as old as father there, and not in your grave by any
manner of means. The grave! that comes soon enough for us all; in the
grave----"
"That is enough," said Raphael.
"Take my arm, sir."
"No."
The feeling of pity in others is very difficult for a man to bear, and
it is hardest of all when the pity is deserved. Hatred is a tonic--it
quickens life and stimulates
revenge; but pity is death to us--it
makes our
weakness weaker still. It is as if
distress simpered
ingratiatingly at us;
contempt lurks in the
tenderness, or
tendernessin an
affront. In the centenarian Raphael saw
triumphant pity, a
wondering pity in the child's eyes, an officious pity in the woman,
and in her husband a pity that had an interested
motive; but no matter
how the
sentiment declared itself, death was always its import.
A poet makes a poem of everything; it is tragical or
joyful, as things
happen to strike his
imagination; his lofty soul rejects all half-
tones; he always prefers vivid and
decided colors. In Raphael's soul
this
compassion produced a terrible poem of
mourning and
melancholy.
When he had wished to live in close
contact with nature, he had of
course forgotten how
freely natural emotions are expressed. He would
think himself quite alone under a tree,
whilst he struggled with an
obstinate coughing fit, a terrible
combat from which he never issued
victorious without utter
exhaustion afterwards; and then he would meet
the clear, bright eyes of the little boy, who occupied the post of
sentinel, like a
savage in a bent of grass; the eyes scrutinized him
with a
childish wonder, in which there was as much
amusement as
pleasure, and an
indescribablemixture of
indifference and interest.
The awful BROTHER, YOU MUST DIE, of the Trappists seemed constantly
legible in the eyes of the
peasants with whom Raphael was living; he
scarcely knew which he dreaded most, their unfettered talk or their
silence; their presence became
torture.
One morning he saw two men in black prowling about in his
neighborhood, who furtively
studied him and took observations. They
made as though they had come there for a
stroll, and asked him a few
indifferent questions, to which he returned short answers. He
recognized them both. One was the cure and the other the doctor at the
springs; Jonathan had no doubt sent them, or the people in the house
had called them in, or the scent of an approaching death had drawn
them
thither. He
beheld his own
funeral, heard the chanting of the
priests, and counted the tall wax candles; and all that lovely
fertilenature around him, in whose lap he had thought to find life once more,
he saw no longer, save through a veil of crape. Everything that but
lately had
spoken of length of days to him, now prophesied a speedy
end. He set out the next day for Paris, not before he had been
inundated with
cordial wishes, which the people of the house uttered
in
melancholy and
wistful tones for his benefit.
He
traveled through the night, and awoke as they passed through one of
the pleasant
valleys of the Bourbonnais. View after view swam before
his gaze, and passed rapidly away like the vague pictures of a dream.
Cruel nature spread herself out before his eyes with tantalizing
grace. Sometimes the Allier, a
liquid shining
ribbon, meandered
through the distant
fertilelandscape; then followed the steeples of
hamlets, hiding
modestly in the depths of a
ravine with its yellow
cliffs; sometimes, after the
monotony of vineyards, the watermills of
a little
valley would be suddenly seen; and everywhere there were
pleasant chateaux,
hillside villages, roads with their fringes of
queenly poplars; and the Loire itself, at last, with its wide sheets
of water sparkling like diamonds amid its golden sands. Attractions
everywhere, without end! This nature, all astir with a life and
gladness like that of
childhood, scarcely able to
contain the impulses
and sap of June, possessed a fatal
attraction for the darkened gaze of
the
invalid. He drew the blinds of his
carriage windows, and betook
himself again to slumber.
Towards evening, after they had passed Cesne, he was awakened by
lively music, and found himself confronted with a village fair. The
horses were changed near the marketplace. Whilst the postilions were
engaged in making the
transfer, he saw the people dancing merrily,
pretty and
attractive girls with flowers about them, excited youths,
and finally the jolly wine-flushed countenances of old
peasants.
Children prattled, old women laughed and chatted; everything spoke in
one voice, and there was a
holidaygaiety about everything, down to