first
banquet to-day.
BLEPYRUS
Are we going to
banquet?
PRAXAGORA
Why, undoubtedly! Furthermore, I propose abolishing the whores.
BLEPYRUS
And what for?
PRAXAGORA
It's clear enough why; so that, instead of them, we may have the
first-fruits of the young men. It is not meet that tricked-out
slaves should rob free-born women of their pleasures. Let the
courtesans be free to sleep with the slaves.
BLEPYRUS
I will march at your side, so that I may be seen and that everyone
may say, "Look at the Dictator's husband!"
(He follows PRAXAGORA into their house.)
CHREMES
As for me, I shall arrange my
belongings and take inventory of
them, in order that I may take them to the market-place.
(He departs.)
(There is an interlude of dancing by the CHORUS, after which
CHREMES returns with his
belongings and arranges them in a long
line.)
CHREMES
Come
hither, my beautiful sieve, I have nothing more precious than
you, come, all clotted with the flour of which I have poured so many
sacks through you; you shall act the part of Canephorus in the
procession of my chattels. Where is the sunshade
carrier? Ah! this
stew-pot shall take his place. Great gods, how black it is! it could
not be more so if Lysicrates had boiled the drugs in it with which
be dyes his hair. Hither, my beautiful mirror. And you, my tripod,
bear this urn for me; you shall be the water-bearer; and you, cock,
whose morning song has so often roused me in the middle of the night
to send me hurrying to the Assembly, you shall be my flute-girl.
Scaphephorus, do you take the large basin, place in it the
honeycombs and twine the olive-branches over them, bring the tripods
and the phial of
perfume; as for the
humble crowd of little pots, I
will just leave them behind.
CITIZEN (watching CHREMES from a distance)
What folly to carry one's goods to the common store; I have a
little more sense than that. No, no, by Posidon, I want first to
ponder and calculate over the thing at
leisure. I shall not be fool
enough to strip myself of the fruits of my toil and
thrift, if it is
not for a very good reason; let us see first which way things turn.
(He walks over to CHREMES) Hi! friend, what means this display of
goods? Are you moving or are you going to pawn your stuff?
CHREMES
Neither.
CITIZEN
Why then are you
setting all these things out in line? Is it a
procession that you are starting off to Hiero, the public crier?
CHREMES
No, but in
accordance with the new law that has been
decreed, I am
going to carry all these things to the market-place to make a gift
of them to the state.
CITIZEN
Oh! bah! you don't mean that.
CHREMES
Certainly.
CITIZEN
Oh! Zeus the Deliverer! you
unfortunate man!
CHREMES
Why?
CITIZEN
Why? It's as clear as noonday.
CHREMES
Must the laws not be obeyed then?
CITIZEN
What laws, you poor fellow?
CHREMES
Those that have been
decreed.
CITIZEN
Decreed! Are you mad, I ask you?
CHREMES
Am I mad?
CITIZEN
Oh! this is the
height of folly!
CHREMES
Because I obey the law?
CITIZEN
Is that the duty of a smart man?
CHREMES
Absolutely.
CITIZEN
Say rather of a ninny.
CHREMES
Don't you propose
taking what belongs to you to the common stock?
CITIZEN
I'll take good care I don't until I see what the majority are
doing.
CHREMES
There's but one opinion,
namely, to
contribute every single thing one
has.
CITIZEN
I am
waiting to see it, before I believe that.
CHREMES
At least, so they say in every street.
CITIZEN (sardonically)
And they will go on
saying so.
CHREMES
Everyone talks of contributing all he has.
CITIZEN (in the same tone)
And will go on talking of it.
CHREMES
You weary me with your doubts and dubitations.
CITIZEN (in the same tone)
Everybody else will doubt it.
CHREMES
The pest seize you!
CITIZEN (in the same tone)
It will take you. (Then seriously) What? give up your goods! Is
there a man of sense who will do such a thing? Giving is not one of
our customs. Receiving is another matter; it's the way of the gods
themselves. Look at the position of their hands on their statues; when
we ask a favour, they present their hands turned palm up so as not
to give, but to receive.
CHREMES
Wretch, let me do what is right. Come, I'll make a
bundle of all
these things. Where is my strap?
CITIZEN
Are you really going to carry them in?
CHREMES
Undoubtedly, and there are my two tripods strung together already.
CITIZEN
What folly! Not to wait to see what the others do, and then...
CHREMES
Well, and then what?
CITIZEN
...wait and put it off again.
CHREMES
What for?
CITIZEN
That an
earthquake may come or an ill-omened flash of lightning,
that a black cat may run across the street and no one carry in
anything more, you fool!
CHREMES
It would be a fine thing if I were to find no room left for
placing all this.
CITIZEN
You are much more likely to lose your stuff. As for placing it,
you can be at ease, for there will be room enough as long as a month
hence.
CHREMES
Why?
CITIZEN
I know these people; a
decree is
readily passed, but it is not
so easily attended to.
CHREMES
All will
contribute their property, my friend.
CITIZEN
But what if they don't?
CHREMES
But there is no doubt that they will.
CITIZEN (insistently)
But anyhow, what if they don't?
CHREMES
Do not worry; they will.
CITIZEN
And what if they oppose it?
CHREMES
We shall compel them to do so.
CITIZEN
And what if they prove the stronger?
CHREMES
I shall leave my goods and go off.
CITIZEN
And what if they sell them for you?
CHREMES
The
plague take you!
CITIZEN
And if it does?
CHREMES
It will be a good riddance.
CITIZEN (in an
incredulous tone)
You are really bent on contributing, then?
CHREMES
'Pon my soul, yes! Look, there are all my neighbours carrying in
all they have.
CITIZEN (sarcastically)
Oh yes, it's Antisthenes; he's the type that would
contribute!
He would just as soon spend the next month sitting on the can.
CHREMES
The pest seize you!
CITIZEN
Will Callimachus, the
chorus-master,
contribute anything?
CHREMES
Why, more than Callias!
CITIZEN
The man must want to spend all his money!
CHREMES
How you weary me!
CITIZEN
Ah! I weary you? But,
wretch, see what comes of
decrees of this
kind. Don't you remember the one reducing the price of salt?
CHREMES
Why, certainly I do.
CITIZEN
And do you remember that about the
copper coinage?
CHREMES
Ah! that cursed money did me enough harm. I had sold my grapes and
had my mouth stuffed with pieces of
copper; indeed I was going to