酷兔英语

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of government, they will forcibly compel us...
CHREMES

To do what?
BLEPYRUS

...to lay them.
CHREMES

And if we are not able?
BLEPYRUS

They will give us no dinner.
CHREMES

Well then, do your duty; dinner and love-making form a double
enjoyment.

BLEPYRUS
Ah! but I hate compulsion.

CHREMES
But if it is for the public good, let us resign ourselves. It's an

old saying that our absurdest and maddest decrees always somehow
turn out for our good. May it be so in this case, oh gods, oh

venerable Pallas! But I must be off; so, good-bye to you!
(Exit.)

BLEPYRUS
Good-bye, Chremes.

(He goes back into his house.)
CHORUS (returning from the Assembly, still dressed like men;

singing)
March along, go forward. Is there some man following us? Turn

round, examine everywhere and keep a good look-out; be on your guard
against every trick, for they might spy on us from behind. Let us make

as much noise as possible as we tramp. It would be a disgrace for
all of us if we allowed ourselves to be caught in this deed by the

men. Come, wrap yourselves up well, and search both right and left, so
that no mischance may happen to us. Let us hasten our steps; here we

are close to the meeting-place whence we started for the Assembly, and
here is the house of our leader, the author of this bold scheme, which

is now decreed by all the citizens. Let us not lose a moment in taking
off our false beards, for we might be recognized and denounced. Let us

stand under the shadow of this wall; let us glance round sharply
with our eye to beware of surprises, while we quickly resume our

ordinary dress. Ah! here is our leader, returning from the Assembly.
Hasten to relieve your chins of these flowing manes. Look at your

comrades yonder; they have already made themselves women again some
while ago.

(They remove the beards as PRAXAGORA and the other women enter
from the right through the Orchestra.)

PRAXAGORA
Friends, success has crowned our plans. But off with these

cloaks and these boots quick, before any man sees you; unbuckle the
Laconian straps and get rid of your staffs; (to the LEADER) and you

help them with their toilet. As for myself, I am going to slip quietly
into the house and replace my husband's cloak and other gear where I

took them from, before he can suspect anything.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS

There! it's done according to your bidding. Now tell us how we can
be of service to you, so that we may show you our obedience, for we

have never seen a cleverer woman than you.
PRAXAGORA

Wait! I only wish to use the power given me in accordance with
your wishes; for, in the market-place, in the midst of the shouts

and danger, I appreciated your indomitable courage.
(Just as she is about to enter the house BLEPYRUS appears in the

doorway.)
BLEPYRUS

Eh, Praxagora! where are you coming from?
PRAXAGORA

How does that concern you, dear?
BLEPYRUS

Why, greatly! what a silly question!
PRAXAGORA

You don't think I have come from a lover's?
BLEPYRUS

No, perhaps not from only one.
PRAXAGORA

You can make yourself sure of that.
BLEPYRUS

And how?
PRAXAGORA

You can see whether my hair smells of perfume.
BLEPYRUS

What? cannot a woman possibly be laid without perfume, eh!
PRAXAGORA

The gods forfend, as far as I am concerned.
BLEPYRUS

Why did you go off at early dawn with my cloak?
PRAXAGORA

Acompanion, a friend who was in labour, had sent to fetch me.
BLEPYRUS

Could you not have told me?
PRAXAGORA

Oh, my dear, would you have me caring nothing for a poor woman
in that plight?

BLEPYRUS
A word would have been enough. There's something behind all this.

PRAXAGORA
No, I call the goddesses to witness! I went running off; the

poor woman who summoned me begged me to come, whatever might betide.
BLEPYRUS

And why did you not take your mantle? Instead of that, you carry
of mine, you throw your dress upon the bed and you leave me as the

dead are left, bar the chaplets and perfumes.
PRAXAGORA

It was cold, and I am frail and delicate; I took your cloak for
greater warmth, leaving you thoroughly warm yourself beneath your

coverlets.
BLEPYRUS

And my shoes and staff, those too went off with you?
PRAXAGORA

I was afraid they might rob me of the cloak, and so, to look
like a man, I put on your shoes and walked with a heavy tread and

struck the stones with your staff.
BLEPYRUS

D'you know you have made us lose a sextary of wheat, which I
should have bought with the triobolus of the Assembly?

PRAXAGORA
Be comforted, for she had a boy.

BLEPYRUS
Who? the Assembly?

PRAXAGORA
No, no, the woman I helped. But has the Assembly taken place then?

BLEPYRUS
Did I not tell you of it yesterday?

PRAXAGORA
True; I remember now.

BLEPYRUS
And don't you know the decrees that have been voted?

PRAXAGORA
No indeed.

BLEPYRUS
Go to! you can live on lobster from now on, for they say the

government is handed over to you.
PRAXAGORA

To do what-to spin?
BLEPYRUS

No, that you may rule...
PRAXAGORA

What?
BLEPYRUS

...over all public business.
PRAXAGORA (as she exclaims this CHREMES reappears)

Oh! by Aphrodite how happy Athens will be!
BLEPYRUS

Why so?
PRAXAGORA

For a thousand reasons. None will dare now to do shameless
deeds, give false testimony or lay informations.

BLEPYRUS
Stop! in the name of the gods! Do you want me to die of hunger?

CHREMES
Good sir, let your wife speak.

PRAXAGORA
There will be no more thieves, nor envious people, no more rags

nor misery, no more abuse and no more prosecutions and law-suits.
CHREMES

By Posidon! that's grand, if it's true!
PRAXAGORA

I shall prove it and you shall be my witness and even he (pointing
to Blepyrus) will have no objections to raise.

CHORUS (singing)
You have served your friends, but now it behoves you to apply your

ability and your care to the welfare of the people. Devote the
fecundity of your mind to the public weal; adorn the citizens' lives

with a thousand enjoyments and teach them to seize every favourable
opportunity. Devise some ingenious method to secure the much-needed

salvation of Athens; but let neither your acts nor your words recall
anything of the past, for 'tis only innovations that please.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS
But do not fail to put your plans into execution immediately; it's

quick action that pleases the audience.
PRAXAGORA

I believe my ideas are good, but what I fear is that the public
will cling to the old customs and refuse to accept my reforms.

CHREMES
Have no fear about that. Love of novelty and disdain for

traditions, these are the dominating principles among us.
PRAXAGORA (to the audience)

Let none contradict nor interrupt me until I have explained my
plan. I want all to have a share of everything and all property to

be in common; there will no longer be either rich or poor; no longer
shall we see one man harvesting vast tracts of land, while another has

not ground enough to be buried in, nor one man surround himself with a
whole army of slaves, while another has not a single attendant; I

intend that there shan only be one and the same condition of life
for all.

BLEPYRUS
But how do you mean for all?

PRAXAGORA (impatiently)
You'll eat dung before I do!

BLEPYRUS
Won't the dung be common too?

PRAXAGORA
No, no, but you interrupted me too soon. This is what I was

going to say; I shall begin by making land, money, everything that
is private property, common to all. Then we shall live on this

common wealth, which we shall take care to administer with wise
thrift.

BLEPYRUS
And how about the man who has no land, but only gold and silver

coins, that cannot be seen?
PRAXAGORA

He must bring them to the common stock, and if he fails he will be
a perjured man.

BLEPYRUS


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