POVERTY
You shall suffer the same if you are beaten!
CHREMYLUS
Do you think twenty deaths a
sufficiently large stake?
BLEPSIDEMUS
Good enough for her, but for us two would suffice.
POVERTY
You won't escape, for is there indeed a single valid
argument to
oppose me with?
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
To beat her in this
debate, you must call upon all your wits. Make
no allowances and show no weakness!
CHREMYLUS
It is right that the good should be happy, that the
wicked and the
impious, on the other hand, should be
miserable; that is a truth, I
believe, which no one will gainsay. To realize this condition of
things is a proposal as great as it is noble and useful in every
respect, and we have found a means of attaining the object of our
wishes. If Plutus recovers his sight and ceases from wandering about
unseeing and at
random, he will go to seek the just men and never
leave them again; he will shun the perverse and ungodly; so, thanks to
him, all men will become honest, rich and pious. Can anything better
be
conceived for the public weal?
BLEPSIDEMUS
Of a
certainty, no! I bear
witness to that. It is not even
necessary she should reply.
CHREMYLUS
Does it not seem that everything is
extravagance in the world,
or rather
madness, when you watch the way things go? A crowd of rogues
enjoy
blessings they have won by sheer
injustice, while more honest
folks are
miserable, die of
hunger, and spend their whole lives with
you. Now, if Plutus became clear-sighted again and drove out
Poverty, it would be the greatest
blessing possible for the human
race.
POVERTY
Here are two old men, whose brains are easy to
confuse, who assist
each other to talk
rubbish and drivel to their hearts' content. But if
your wishes were realized, your profit would be great! Let Plutus
recover his sight and divide his favours out
equally to all, and
none will ply either trade or art any longer; all toil would be done
away with. Who would wish to
hammer iron, build ships, sew, turn,
cut up leather, bake bricks,
bleach linen, tan hides, or break up
the soil of the earth with the
plough and
garner the gifts of Demeter,
if he could live in
idleness and free from all this work?
CHREMYLUS
What
nonsense all this is! All these trades which you just mention
will be plied by our slaves.
POVERTY
Your slaves! And by what means will these slaves be got?
CHREMYLUS
We will buy them.
POVERTY
But first say, who will sell them, if
everyone is rich?
CHREMYLUS
Some
greedydealer from Thessaly-the land which supplies so many.
POVERTY
But if your
system is
applied, there won't be a single
slave-
dealer left. What rich man would risk his life to devote himself
to this
traffic? You will have to toil, to dig and
submit yourself
to all kinds of hard labour; so that your life would be more
wretched even than it is now.
CHREMYLUS
May this
prediction fall upon yourself!
POVERTY
You will not be able to sleep in a bed, for no more will ever be
manufactured; nor on carpets, for who would weave them, if he had
gold? When you bring a young bride to your
dwelling, you will have
no essences
wherewith to
perfume her, nor rich embroidered cloaks dyed
with dazzling colours in which to clothe her. And yet what is the
use of being rich, if you are to be deprived of all these
enjoyments? On the other hand, you have all that you need in
abundance, thanks to me; to the
artisan I am like a
severe mistress,
who forces him by need and
poverty to seek the means of earning his
livelihood.
CHREMYLUS
And what good thing can you give us, unless it be burns in the
bath, and swarms of brats and old women who cry with
hunger, and
clouds uncountable of lice, gnats and flies, which hover about the
wretch's head, trouble him, awake him and say, "You will be hungry,
but get up!" Besides, to possess a rag in place of a
mantle, a
pallet of rushes swarming with bugs, that do not let you close your
eyes, for a bed; a
rotten piece of matting for a
coverlet; a big stone
for a pillow, on which to lay your head; to eat mallow roots instead
of bread, and leaves of withered radish instead of cake; to have
nothing but the cover of a broken jug for a stool, the stave of a
cask, and broken at that, for a kneading-trough, that is the life
you make for us! Are these the
mighty benefits with which you
pretend to load mankind?
POVERTY
It's not my life that you describe,; you are attacking the
existence
beggars lead.
CHREMYLUS
Is Beggary not Poverty's sister?
POVERTY
Thrasybulus and Dionysius are one and the same according to you.
No, my life is not like that and never will be. The
beggar, whom you
have depicted to us, never possesses anything. The poor man lives
thriftily and
attentive to his work: he has not got too much, but he
does not lack what he really needs.
CHREMYLUS
Oh! what a happy life, by Demeter! to live sparingly, to toil
incessantly and not to leave enough to pay for a tomb!
POVERTY
That's it! jest, jeer, and never talk seriously! But what you
don't know is this, that men with me are worth more, both in mind
and body, than with Plutus. With him they are gouty, big-bellied,
heavy of limb and scandalously stout; with me they are thin,
wasp-waisted, and terrible to the foe.
CHREMYLUS
No doubt it's by starving them that you give them that waspish
waist.
POVERTY
As for behaviour, I will prove to you that
modesty dwells with
me and
insolence with Plutus.
CHREMYLUS
Oh the sweet
modesty of stealing and burglary.
POVERTY
Look at the orators in our republics; as long as they are poor,
both state and people can only praise their uprightness; but once they
are fattened on the public funds, they
conceive a
hatred for
justice, plan intrigues against the people and attack the democracy.
CHREMYLUS
That is
absolutely true, although your tongue is very vile. But it
matters not, so don't put on those
triumphant airs; you shall not be
punished any the less for having tried to
persuade me that
povertyis worth more than
wealth.
POVERTY
Not being able to refute my
arguments, you
chatter at
random and
exert yourself to no purpose.
CHREMYLUS
Then tell me this, why does all mankind flee from you?
POVERTY
Because I make them better. Children do the very same; they flee
from the wise counsels of their fathers. So difficult is it to see
one's true interest.
CHREMYLUS
Will you say that Zeus cannot
discern what is best? Well, he takes
Plutus to himself...
BLEPSIDEMUS
...and banishes Poverty to the earth.
POVERTY
Ah me! how purblind you are, you old fellows of the days of
Cronus! Why, Zeus is poor, and I will clearly prove it to you. In
the Olympic games, which he founded, and to which he convokes the
whole of Greece every four years, why does he only crown the
victorious athletes with wild olive? If he were rich he would give
them gold.
CHREMYLUS
That's the way he shows that he clings to his
wealth; he is
sparing with it, won't part with any
portion of it, only bestows
baubles on the victors and keeps his money for himself.
POVERTY
But
wealth coupled to such
sordid greed is yet more shameful
than
poverty.
CHREMYLUS
May Zeus destroy you, both you and your chaplet of wild olive!
POVERTY
Thus you dare to
maintain that Poverty is not the fount of all
blessings!
CHREMYLUS
Ask Hecate whether it is better to be rich or starving; she will
tell you that the rich send her a meal every month and that the poor
make it disappear before it is even served. But go and hang yourself
and don't breathe another
syllable. I will not be convinced against my
will.
POVERTY
"Oh! citizens of Argos! do you hear what he says?"
CHREMYLUS
Invoke Pauson, your boon
companion, rather.
POVERTY
Alas! what is to become of me?
CHREMYLUS
Get you gone, be off quick and a pleasant journey to you.
POVERTY
But where shall I go?
CHREMYLUS
To gaol; but hurry up, let us put an end to this.
POVERTY (as she departs)
One day you will recall me.
CHREMYLUS
Then you can return; but disappear for the present. I prefer to be
rich; you are free to knock your head against the walls in your rage.
BLEPSIDEMUS
And I too
welcomewealth. I want, when I leave the bath all
perfumed with essences, to feast
bravely with my wife and children and
to fart in the faces of toilers and Poverty.
CHREMYLUS
So that hussy has gone at last! But let us make haste to put
Plutus to bed in the Temple of Asclepius.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Let us make haste; else some bothering fellow may again come to
interrupt us.
CREMYLUS (loudly)
Cario, bring the
coverlets and all that I have got ready from
the house; let us conduct the god to the
temple,
taking care to
observe all the proper rites.
(CARIO comes out of the house with a
bundle under one arm and leading PLUTUS with the other.
CHREMYLUS and BLEPSIDEMUS join him and all four of them depart.)
(Interlude of dancing by the CHORUS.)
CARIO