酷兔英语

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has on her face! (He holds his torch close to her, in order to

inspect her more closely.)
OLD WOMAN

Oh! oh! keep your distance with that torch.
CHREMYLUS (aside)

It's just as well; if a single spark were to reach her, she
would catch fire like an old olive branch.

YOUTH
I propose to have a game with you.

OLD WOMAN (eagerly)
Where, naughty boy?

YOUTH
Here. Take some nuts in your hand.

OLD WOMAN
What game is this?

YOUTH
Let's play at guessing how many ... teeth you have.

CHREMYLUS
Ah! I'll tell you; she's got three, or perhaps four.

YOUTH
Pay up; you've lost! she has only one single grinder.

OLD WOMAN
You wretch! you're not in your right senses. Do you insult me thus

before this crowd?
YOUTH

I am washing you thoroughly; that's doing you a service.
CHREMYLUS

No, no! as she is there, she can still deceive; but if this
white-lead is washed off, her wrinkles will come out plainly.

OLD WOMAN
You are only an old fool!

YOUTH
Ah! he is playing the gallant, he is playing with your tits, and

thinks I do not see it.
OLD WOMAN (to CHREMYLUS)

Oh! no, by Aphrodite, don't do that, you naughtyjealous fellow.
CHREMYLUS

Oh! most certainly not, by Hecate! Verily and indeed I would
need to be mad! But, young man, I cannot forgive you, if you cast

off this beautiful child.
YOUTH

Why, I adore her.
CHREMYLUS

But nevertheless she accuses you...
YOUTH

Accuses me of what?
CHREMYLUS

...of having told her insolently, "Once upon a time the
Milesians were brave."

YOUTH
Oh! I shall not dispute with you about her.

CHREMYLUS
Why not?

YOUTH
Out of respect for your age; with anyone but you I should not be

so easy; come, take the girl and be happy.
CHREMYLUS

see, I see; you don't want her any more.
OLD WOMAN

Nay this is a thing that cannot be allowed.
YOUTH

I cannot argue with a woman who has been laid by every one of
these thirteen thousand men.

(He points to the audience.)
CHREMYLUS

Yet, since you liked the wine, you should now consume the lees.
YOUTH

But these lees are quite rancid and fusty.
CHREMYLUS

Pass them through a straining-cloth; they'll clarify.
YOUTH

But I want to go in with you to offer these chaplets to the god.
OLD WOMAN

And I too have something to tell him.
YOUTH

Then I won't enter.
CHREMYLUS

Come, have no fear; she won't harm you.
YOUTH

That's true; I've been managing the old bark so long.
OLD WOMAN

Go in; Ill follow after you.
(They enter the house.)

CHREMYLUS
Good gods! that old hag has fastened herself to her youth like a

limpet to its rock.
(He follows them in.)

(Interlude of dancing by the CHORUS.)
(HERMES enters and begins knocking on the door.)

CARIO (opening the door)
Who is knocking at the door? Halloa! I see no one; it was then

by chance it gave forth that plaintive tone.
HERMES (to CARIO, who is about to close the door)

Cario! stop!
CARIO

Eh! friend, was it you who knocked so loudly? Tell me.
HERMES

No, I was going to knock and you forestalled me by opening.
Come, call your master quick, then his wife and his children, then his

slave and his dog, then yourself and his pig.
CARIO

And what's it all about?
HERMES

It's about this, rascal! Zeus wants to serve you all with the same
sauce and hurl the lot of you into the Barathrum.

CARIO (aside)
Have a care for your tongue, you bearer of ill tidings! (To

HERMES) But why does he want to treat us in that scurvy fashion?
HERMES

Because you have committed the most dreadful crime. Since Plutus
has recovered his sight, there is nothing for us other gods, neither

incense, nor laurels, nor cakes, nor victims, nor anything in the
world.

CARIO
And you will never be offered anything more; you governed us too

ill
HERMES

I care nothing at all about the other gods, but it's myself. I
tell you I am dying of hunger.

CARIO
That's reasoning like a wise fellow.

HERMES
Formerly, from earliest dawn, I was offered all sorts of good

things in the wine-shops,-wine-cakes, honey, dried figs, in short,
dishes worthy of Hermes. Now, I lie the livelong day on my back,

with my legs in the air, famishing.
CARIO

And quite right too, for you often had them punished who treated
you so well.

HERMES
Ah! the lovely cake they used to knead for me on the fourth of the

month!
CARIO

You recall it vainly; your regrets are useless!
HERMES

Ah! the ham I was wont to devour!
CARIO

Well then! make use of your legs and hop on one leg upon the
wine-skin, to while away the time.

HERMES
Oh! the grilled entrails I used to swallow down!

CARIO
Your own have got the colic, I think

HERMES
Oh! the delicious tipple, half-wine, half-water!

CARIO
Here, take this and be off. (He farts.)

HERMES (in tragic style)
Would you render service to the friend that loves you?

CARIO
Willingly, if I can.

HERMES
Give me some well-baked bread and a big hunk of the victims they

are sacrificing in your house.
CARIO

That would be stealing.
HERMES

Do you forget, then, how I used to take care he knew nothing about
it when you were stealing something from your master?

CARIO
Because I used to share it with you, you rogue; some cake or other

always came your way,
HERMES

Which afterwards you ate up all by yourself.
CARIO

But then you did not share the blows when I was caught.
HERMES

Forget past injuries, now you have taken Phyle. Ah! how I should
like to live with you! Take pity and receive me.

CARIO
You would leave the gods to stop here?

HERMES
One is much better off among you.

CARIO
What! you would desert Do you think that is honest?

HERMES
"Where I live well, there is my country."

CARIO
But how could we employ you here?

HERMES
Place me near the door; I am the watchman god and would shift of

the robbers.
CARIO

Shift off! Ah! but we have no love for shifts.
HERMES

Entrust me with business dealings.
CARIO

But we are rich; why should we keep a baggling Hermes?
HERMES

Let me intrigue for you.
CARIO

No, no, intrigues are forbidden; we believe in good faith.
HERMES

I will work for you as a guide.
CARIO

But the god sees clearly now, so we no longer want a guide.
HERMES

Well then, I will preside over the games. Ah! what can you
object to In that? Nothing is fitter for Plutus than to give scenic

and gymnastic games.
CARIO



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