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POVERTY

You shall suffer the same if you are beaten!
CHREMYLUS

Do you think twenty deaths a sufficiently large stake?
BLEPSIDEMUS

Good enough for her, but for us two would suffice.
POVERTY

You won't escape, for is there indeed a single valid argument to
oppose me with?

LEADER OF THE CHORUS
To beat her in this debate, you must call upon all your wits. Make

no allowances and show no weakness!
CHREMYLUS

It is right that the good should be happy, that the wicked and the
impious, on the other hand, should be miserable; that is a truth, I

believe, which no one will gainsay. To realize this condition of
things is a proposal as great as it is noble and useful in every

respect, and we have found a means of attaining the object of our
wishes. If Plutus recovers his sight and ceases from wandering about

unseeing and at random, he will go to seek the just men and never
leave them again; he will shun the perverse and ungodly; so, thanks to

him, all men will become honest, rich and pious. Can anything better
be conceived for the public weal?

BLEPSIDEMUS
Of a certainty, no! I bear witness to that. It is not even

necessary she should reply.
CHREMYLUS

Does it not seem that everything is extravagance in the world,
or rather madness, when you watch the way things go? A crowd of rogues

enjoy blessings they have won by sheer injustice, while more honest
folks are miserable, die of hunger, and spend their whole lives with

you. Now, if Plutus became clear-sighted again and drove out
Poverty, it would be the greatest blessing possible for the human

race.
POVERTY

Here are two old men, whose brains are easy to confuse, who assist
each other to talk rubbish and drivel to their hearts' content. But if

your wishes were realized, your profit would be great! Let Plutus
recover his sight and divide his favours out equally to all, and

none will ply either trade or art any longer; all toil would be done
away with. Who would wish to hammer iron, build ships, sew, turn,

cut up leather, bake bricks, bleach linen, tan hides, or break up
the soil of the earth with the plough and garner the gifts of Demeter,

if he could live in idleness and free from all this work?
CHREMYLUS

What nonsense all this is! All these trades which you just mention
will be plied by our slaves.

POVERTY
Your slaves! And by what means will these slaves be got?

CHREMYLUS
We will buy them.

POVERTY
But first say, who will sell them, if everyone is rich?

CHREMYLUS
Some greedydealer from Thessaly-the land which supplies so many.

POVERTY
But if your system is applied, there won't be a single

slave-dealer left. What rich man would risk his life to devote himself
to this traffic? You will have to toil, to dig and submit yourself

to all kinds of hard labour; so that your life would be more
wretched even than it is now.

CHREMYLUS
May this prediction fall upon yourself!

POVERTY
You will not be able to sleep in a bed, for no more will ever be

manufactured; nor on carpets, for who would weave them, if he had
gold? When you bring a young bride to your dwelling, you will have

no essences wherewith to perfume her, nor rich embroidered cloaks dyed
with dazzling colours in which to clothe her. And yet what is the

use of being rich, if you are to be deprived of all these
enjoyments? On the other hand, you have all that you need in

abundance, thanks to me; to the artisan I am like a severe mistress,
who forces him by need and poverty to seek the means of earning his

livelihood.
CHREMYLUS

And what good thing can you give us, unless it be burns in the
bath, and swarms of brats and old women who cry with hunger, and

clouds uncountable of lice, gnats and flies, which hover about the
wretch's head, trouble him, awake him and say, "You will be hungry,

but get up!" Besides, to possess a rag in place of a mantle, a
pallet of rushes swarming with bugs, that do not let you close your

eyes, for a bed; a rotten piece of matting for a coverlet; a big stone
for a pillow, on which to lay your head; to eat mallow roots instead

of bread, and leaves of withered radish instead of cake; to have
nothing but the cover of a broken jug for a stool, the stave of a

cask, and broken at that, for a kneading-trough, that is the life
you make for us! Are these the mighty benefits with which you

pretend to load mankind?
POVERTY

It's not my life that you describe,; you are attacking the
existence beggars lead.

CHREMYLUS
Is Beggary not Poverty's sister?

POVERTY
Thrasybulus and Dionysius are one and the same according to you.

No, my life is not like that and never will be. The beggar, whom you
have depicted to us, never possesses anything. The poor man lives

thriftily and attentive to his work: he has not got too much, but he
does not lack what he really needs.

CHREMYLUS
Oh! what a happy life, by Demeter! to live sparingly, to toil

incessantly and not to leave enough to pay for a tomb!
POVERTY

That's it! jest, jeer, and never talk seriously! But what you
don't know is this, that men with me are worth more, both in mind

and body, than with Plutus. With him they are gouty, big-bellied,
heavy of limb and scandalously stout; with me they are thin,

wasp-waisted, and terrible to the foe.
CHREMYLUS

No doubt it's by starving them that you give them that waspish
waist.

POVERTY
As for behaviour, I will prove to you that modesty dwells with

me and insolence with Plutus.
CHREMYLUS

Oh the sweet modesty of stealing and burglary.
POVERTY

Look at the orators in our republics; as long as they are poor,
both state and people can only praise their uprightness; but once they

are fattened on the public funds, they conceive a hatred for
justice, plan intrigues against the people and attack the democracy.

CHREMYLUS
That is absolutely true, although your tongue is very vile. But it

matters not, so don't put on those triumphant airs; you shall not be
punished any the less for having tried to persuade me that poverty

is worth more than wealth.
POVERTY

Not being able to refute my arguments, you chatter at random and
exert yourself to no purpose.

CHREMYLUS
Then tell me this, why does all mankind flee from you?

POVERTY
Because I make them better. Children do the very same; they flee

from the wise counsels of their fathers. So difficult is it to see
one's true interest.

CHREMYLUS
Will you say that Zeus cannot discern what is best? Well, he takes

Plutus to himself...
BLEPSIDEMUS

...and banishes Poverty to the earth.
POVERTY

Ah me! how purblind you are, you old fellows of the days of
Cronus! Why, Zeus is poor, and I will clearly prove it to you. In

the Olympic games, which he founded, and to which he convokes the
whole of Greece every four years, why does he only crown the

victorious athletes with wild olive? If he were rich he would give
them gold.

CHREMYLUS
That's the way he shows that he clings to his wealth; he is

sparing with it, won't part with any portion of it, only bestows
baubles on the victors and keeps his money for himself.

POVERTY
But wealth coupled to such sordid greed is yet more shameful

than poverty.
CHREMYLUS

May Zeus destroy you, both you and your chaplet of wild olive!
POVERTY

Thus you dare to maintain that Poverty is not the fount of all
blessings!

CHREMYLUS
Ask Hecate whether it is better to be rich or starving; she will

tell you that the rich send her a meal every month and that the poor
make it disappear before it is even served. But go and hang yourself

and don't breathe another syllable. I will not be convinced against my
will.

POVERTY
"Oh! citizens of Argos! do you hear what he says?"

CHREMYLUS
Invoke Pauson, your boon companion, rather.

POVERTY
Alas! what is to become of me?

CHREMYLUS
Get you gone, be off quick and a pleasant journey to you.

POVERTY
But where shall I go?

CHREMYLUS
To gaol; but hurry up, let us put an end to this.

POVERTY (as she departs)
One day you will recall me.

CHREMYLUS
Then you can return; but disappear for the present. I prefer to be

rich; you are free to knock your head against the walls in your rage.
BLEPSIDEMUS

And I too welcomewealth. I want, when I leave the bath all
perfumed with essences, to feast bravely with my wife and children and

to fart in the faces of toilers and Poverty.
CHREMYLUS

So that hussy has gone at last! But let us make haste to put
Plutus to bed in the Temple of Asclepius.

BLEPSIDEMUS
Let us make haste; else some bothering fellow may again come to

interrupt us.
CREMYLUS (loudly)

Cario, bring the coverlets and all that I have got ready from
the house; let us conduct the god to the temple, taking care to

observe all the proper rites.
(CARIO comes out of the house with a

bundle under one arm and leading PLUTUS with the other.
CHREMYLUS and BLEPSIDEMUS join him and all four of them depart.)

(Interlude of dancing by the CHORUS.)
CARIO



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