I know someone who will come and seat himself at the foot of the
tribunal,
holding a supplicant's bough in his hand and surrounded by
his wife and children, for all the world like the Heraclidae of
Pamphilus.
CHREMYLUS
Not at all, poor fool! But, thanks to me,
worthy folk alone
shall be rich henceforth.
BLEPSIDEMUS
What are you
saying? Have you then
stolen so much as all that?
CHREMYLUS
Oh your insults will be the death of me.
BLEPSIDEMUS
You're the one who is courting death.
CHREMYLUS
Not so, you
wretch, since I have Plutus.
BLEPSIDEMUS
You have Plutus? Which one?
CHREMYLUS
The god himself.
BLEPSIDEMUS
And where is he?
CHREMYLUS
There.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Where?
CHREMYLUS
Indoors.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Indoors?
CHREMYLUS
Aye, certainly.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Get you gone! Plutus in your house?
CHREMYLUS
Yes, by the gods I
BLEPSIDEMUS
Are you telling the truth?
CHREMYLUS
I am.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Swear it by Hestia.
CHREMYLUS
I swear it by Posidon.
BLEPSIDEMUS
The god of the sea?
CHREMYLUS
Yes, and by all the other Posidons, such there be.
BLEPSIDEMUS
And you don't send him to us, to your friends?
CHREMYLUS
We've not got to that point yet.
BLEPSIDEMUS
What do you say? Is there no chance of sharing?
CHREMYLUS
Why, no. We must first.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Do what?
CHREMYLUS
...
restore him his sight.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Restore whom his sight? Speak!
CHREMYLUS
Plutus. It must be done, no matter how.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Is he then really blind?
CHREMYLUS
Yes, undoubtedly.
BLEPSIDEMUS
I am no longer surprised he never came to me.
CHREMYLUS
If it please the gods, he'll come there now.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Must we not go and seek a physician?
CHREMYLUS
Seek physicians at Athens? Nay! there's no art where there's no
fee.
BLEPSIDEMUS (
running his eyes over the audience)
Let's look carefully.
CHREMYLUS (after a
thorough survey)
There is not one.
BLEPSIDEMUS
It's a
positive fact; I don't know of one.
CHREMYLUS
But I have thought the matter well over, and the best thing is
to make Plutus lie in the Temple of Asclepius.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Unquestionably that's the very best thing. Hurry and lead him away
to the
temple.
CHREMYLUS
I am going there.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Then hurry up.
CHREMYLUS
That's just what I am doing.
(They are just leaving when POVERTY comes
running in;
she is a picture of squalor and the two men
recoil in horror.)
POVERTY
Unwise, perverse, unholy men! What are you
daring to do, you
pitiful,
wretched mortals? Whither are you flying? Stop! I command it!
BLEPSIDEMUS
Oh! great gods!
POVERTY
My arm shall destroy you, you
infamous beings! Such an attempt
is not to be borne; neither man nor god has ever dared the like. You
shall die!
CHREMYLUS
And who are you? Oh! what a
ghastly pallor!
BLEPSIDEMUS
Perhaps it's some Erinys, some Fury, from the theatre; there's a
kind of wild
tragic look in her eyes.
CHREMYLUS
But she has no torch.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Let's knock her down!
POVERTY
Who do you think I am?
CHREMYLUS
Some wine-shop
keeper or egg-woman. Otherwise you would not have
shrieked so loud at us, who have done nothing to you.
POVERTY
Indeed? And have you not done me the most
deadlyinjury by seeking
to
banish me from every country?
CHREMYLUS
Why, have you not got the Barathrum left? But who are you?
Answer me quickly!
POVERTY
I am one that will
punish you this very day for having wanted to
make me disappear from here.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Might it be the tavern-
keeper in my neighbourhood, who is always
cheating me in measure?
POVERTY
I am Poverty, who have lived with you for so many years.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Oh! great Apollo! oh, ye gods! whither shall I fly?
(He starts to run away.)
CHREMYLUS
Here! what are you doing! You coward! Are going to leave me here?
BLEPSIDEMUS (still
running)
Not I.
CHREMYLUS
Stop then! Are two men to run away from one woman?
BLEPSIDEMUS
But, you
wretch, it's Poverty, the most
fearfulmonster that
ever drew breath.
CHREMYLUS
Stay where you are, I beg of you.
BLEPSIDEMUS
No no! a thousand times, no!
CHREMYLUS
Could we do anything worse than leave the god in the lurch and fly
before this woman without so much as ever
offering to fight?
BLEPSIDEMUS
But what weapons have we? Are we in a condition to show fight?
Where is the breastplate, the buckler, that this
wretch has not
pawned?
CHREMYLUS
Be at ease. Plutus will
readilytriumph over her threats unaided.
POVERTY
Dare you reply, you scoundrels, you who are caught red-handed at
the most
horrible crime?
CHREMYLUS
As for you, you cursed jade, you
pursue me with your abuse, though
I have never done you the slightest harm.
POVERTY
Do you think it is doing me no harm to
restore Plutus to the use
of his eyes?
CHREMYLUS
Is this doing you harm, that we
shower blessings on all men?
POVERTY
And what do you think will ensure their happiness?
CHREMYLUS
Ah! first of all we shall drive you out of Greece.
POVERTY
Drive me out? Could you do mankind a greater harm?
CHREMYLUS
Yes-if I gave up my
intention to deliver them from you.
POVERTY
Well, let us discuss this point first. I propose to show that I am
the sole cause of all your blessings, and that your safety depends
on me alone. If I don't succeed, then do what you like to me.
CHREMYLUS
How dare you talk like this, you impudent hussy?
POVERTY
Agree to hear me and I think it will be very easy for me to
prove that you are entirely on the wrong road, when you want to make
the just men wealthy.
BLEPSIDEMUS
Oh!
cudgel and rope's end, come to my help!
POVERTY
Why such wrath and these shouts, before you hear my arguments?
BLEPSIDEMUS
But who could listen to such words without exclaiming?
POVERTY
Any man of sense.
CHREMYLUS
But if you lose your case, what
punishment will you
submit to?
POVERTY
Choose what you will.
CHREMYLUS
That's all right.