LADY BRACKNELL. Every
luxury that money could buy, including
christening, had been lavished on you by your fond and doting
parents.
JACK. Then I was christened! That is settled. Now, what name was
I given? Let me know the worst.
LADY BRACKNELL. Being the
eldest son you were naturally christened
after your father.
JACK. [Irritably.] Yes, but what was my father's Christian name?
LADY BRACKNELL. [Meditatively.] I cannot at the present moment
recall what the General's Christian name was. But I have no doubt
he had one. He was
eccentric, I admit. But only in later years.
And that was the result of the Indian
climate, and marriage, and
indigestion, and other things of that kind.
JACK. Algy! Can't you
recollect what our father's Christian name
was?
ALGERNON. My dear boy, we were never even on
speaking terms. He
died before I was a year old.
JACK. His name would appear in the Army Lists of the period, I
suppose, Aunt Augusta?
LADY BRACKNELL. The General was
essentially a man of peace, except
in his
domestic life. But I have no doubt his name would appear in
any military directory.
JACK. The Army Lists of the last forty years are here. These
delightful records should have been my
constant study. [Rushes to
bookcase and tears the books out.] M. Generals . . . Mallam,
Maxbohm, Magley, what
ghastly names they have - Markby, Migsby,
Mobbs, Moncrieff! Lieutenant 1840, Captain, Lieutenant-Colonel,
Colonel, General 1869, Christian names, Ernest John. [Puts book
very quietly down and speaks quite calmly.] I always told you,
Gwendolen, my name was Ernest, didn't I? Well, it is Ernest after
all. I mean it naturally is Ernest.
LADY BRACKNELL. Yes, I remember now that the General was called
Ernest, I knew I had some particular reason for disliking the name.
GWENDOLEN. Ernest! My own Ernest! I felt from the first that you
could have no other name!
JACK. Gwendolen, it is a terrible thing for a man to find out
suddenly that all his life he has been
speaking nothing but the
truth. Can you
forgive me?
GWENDOLEN. I can. For I feel that you are sure to change.
JACK. My own one!
CHASUBLE. [To MISS PRISM.] Laetitia! [Embraces her]
MISS PRISM. [Enthusiastically.] Frederick! At last!
ALGERNON. Cecily! [Embraces her.] At last!
JACK. Gwendolen! [Embraces her.] At last!
LADY BRACKNELL. My
nephew, you seem to be displaying signs of
triviality.
JACK. On the
contrary, Aunt Augusta, I've now realised for the
first time in my life the vital Importance of Being Earnest.
TABLEAU
End