章节正文
get married. A misanthrope I can understand - a womanthrope,
never!
CHASUBLE. [With a scholar's shudder.] Believe me, I do not
deserve so neologistic a phrase. The precept as well as the
practice of the Primitive Church was distinctly against matrimony.
MISS PRISM. [Sententiously.] That is obviously the reason why the
Primitive Church has not lasted up to the present day. And you do
not seem to realise, dear Doctor, that by persistently remaining
single, a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.
Men should be more careful; this very celibacy leads weaker vessels
astray.
CHASUBLE. But is a man not equallyattractive when married?
MISS PRISM. No married man is ever attractive except to his wife.
CHASUBLE. And often, I've been told, not even to her.
MISS PRISM. That depends on the intellectual sympathies of the
woman. Maturity can always be depended on. Ripeness can be
trusted. Young women are green. [DR. CHASUBLE starts.] I spoke
horticulturally. My metaphor was drawn from fruits. But where is
Cecily?
CHASUBLE. Perhaps she followed us to the schools.
[Enter JACK slowly from the back of the garden. He is dressed in
the deepest mourning, with crape hatband and black gloves.]
MISS PRISM. Mr. Worthing!
CHASUBLE. Mr. Worthing?
MISS PRISM. This is indeed a surprise. We did not look for you
till Monday afternoon.
JACK. [Shakes MISS PRISM'S hand in a tragic manner.] I have
returned sooner than I expected. Dr. Chasuble, I hope you are
well?
CHASUBLE. Dear Mr. Worthing, I trust this garb of woe does not
betoken some terrible calamity?
JACK. My brother.
MISS PRISM. More shameful debts and extravagance?
CHASUBLE. Still leading his life of pleasure?
JACK. [Shaking his head.] Dead!
CHASUBLE. Your brother Ernest dead?
JACK. Quite dead.
MISS PRISM. What a lesson for him! I trust he will profit by it.
CHASUBLE. Mr. Worthing, I offer you my sincere condolence. You
have at least the consolation of knowing that you were always the
most generous and forgiving of brothers.
JACK. Poor Ernest! He had many faults, but it is a sad, sad blow.
CHASUBLE. Very sad indeed. Were you with him at the end?
JACK. No. He died abroad; in Paris, in fact. I had a telegram
last night from the manager of the Grand Hotel.
CHASUBLE. Was the cause of death mentioned?
JACK. A severe chill, it seems.
MISS PRISM. As a man sows, so shall he reap.
CHASUBLE. [Raising his hand.] Charity, dear Miss Prism, charity!
None of us are perfect. I myself am peculiarlysusceptible to
draughts. Will the interment take place here?
JACK. No. He seems to have expressed a desire to be buried in
Paris.
CHASUBLE. In Paris! [Shakes his head.] I fear that hardly points
to any very serious state of mind at the last. You would no doubt
wish me to make some slight allusion to this tragic domestic
affliction next Sunday. [JACK presses his hand convulsively.] My
sermon on the meaning of the manna in the wilderness can be adapted
to almost any occasion, joyful, or, as in the present case,
distressing. [All sigh.] I have preached it at harvest
celebrations, christenings, confirmations, on days of humiliation
and festal days. The last time I delivered it was in the
Cathedral, as a charitysermon on behalf of the Society for the
Prevention of Discontent among the Upper Orders. The Bishop, who
was present, was much struck by some of the analogies I drew.
JACK. Ah! that reminds me, you mentioned christenings I think, Dr.
Chasuble? I suppose you know how to christen all right? [DR.
CHASUBLE looks astounded.] I mean, of course, you are continually
christening, aren't you?
MISS PRISM. It is, I regret to say, one of the Rector's most
constant duties in this parish. I have often spoken to the poorer
classes on the subject. But they don't seem to know what thrift
is.
CHASUBLE. But is there any particular infant in whom you are
interested, Mr. Worthing? Your brother was, I believe, unmarried,
was he not?
JACK. Oh yes.
MISS PRISM. [Bitterly.] People who live entirely for pleasure
usually are.
JACK. But it is not for any child, dear Doctor. I am very fond of
children. No! the fact is, I would like to be christened myself,
this afternoon, if you have nothing better to do.
CHASUBLE. But surely, Mr. Worthing, you have been christened
already?
JACK. I don't remember anything about it.
CHASUBLE. But have you any grave doubts on the subject?
JACK. I certainly intend to have. Of course I don't know if the
thing would bother you in any way, or if you think I am a little
too old now.
CHASUBLE. Not at all. The sprinkling, and, indeed, the immersion
of adults is a perfectly canonical practice.
JACK. Immersion!
CHASUBLE. You need have no apprehensions. Sprinkling is all that
is necessary, or indeed I think advisable. Our weather is so
changeable. At what hour would you wish the ceremony performed?
JACK. Oh, I might trot round about five if that would suit you.
CHASUBLE. Perfectly, perfectly! In fact I have two similar
ceremonies to perform at that time. A case of twins that occurred
recently in one of the outlying cottages on your own estate. Poor
Jenkins the carter, a most hard-working man.
JACK. Oh! I don't see much fun in being christened along with
other babies. It would be childish. Would half-past five do?
CHASUBLE. Admirably! Admirably! [Takes out watch.] And now,
dear Mr. Worthing, I will not intrude any longer into a house of
sorrow. I would merely beg you not to be too much bowed down by
grief. What seem to us bitter trials are often blessings in
disguise.
MISS PRISM. This seems to me a blessing of an extremely obvious
kind.
[Enter CECILY from the house.]
CECILY. Uncle Jack! Oh, I am pleased to see you back. But what
horrid clothes you have got on! Do go and change them.
MISS PRISM. Cecily!
CHASUBLE. My child! my child! [CECILY goes towards JACK; he
kisses her brow in a melancholy manner.]
CECILY. What is the matter, Uncle Jack? Do look happy! You look
as if you had toothache, and I have got such a surprise for you.
Who do you think is in the dining-room? Your brother!
JACK. Who?
CECILY. Your brother Ernest. He arrived about half an hour ago.
JACK. What nonsense! I haven't got a brother.
CECILY. Oh, don't say that. However badly he may have behaved to
you in the past he is still your brother. You couldn't be so
heartless as to disown him. I'll tell him to come out. And you
will shake hands with him, won't you, Uncle Jack? [Runs back into
the house.]
CHASUBLE. These are very joyful tidings.
MISS PRISM. After we had all been resigned to his loss, his sudden
return seems to me peculiarly distressing.
JACK. My brother is in the dining-room? I don't know what it all
means. I think it is perfectly absurd.
[Enter ALGERNON and CECILY hand in hand. They come slowly up to
JACK.]
JACK. Good heavens! [Motions ALGERNON away.]
ALGERNON. Brother John, I have come down from town to tell you
that I am very sorry for all the trouble I have given you, and that
I intend to lead a better life in the future. [JACK glares at him
and does not take his hand.]
CECILY. Uncle Jack, you are not going to refuse your own brother's
hand?
JACK. Nothing will induce me to take his hand. I think his coming
down here disgraceful. He knows perfectly well why.
CECILY. Uncle Jack, do be nice. There is some good in every one.
Ernest has just been telling me about his poor invalid friend Mr.
Bunbury whom he goes to visit so often. And surely there must be
much good in one who is kind to an invalid, and leaves the
pleasures of London to sit by a bed of pain.
JACK. Oh! he has been talking about Bunbury, has he?
CECILY. Yes, he has told me all about poor Mr. Bunbury, and his
terrible state of health.
JACK. Bunbury! Well, I won't have him talk to you about Bunbury
or about anything else. It is enough to drive one perfectly
frantic.
ALGERNON. Of course I admit that the faults were all on my side.
But I must say that I think that Brother John's coldness to me is
peculiarlypainful. I expected a more enthusiastic welcome,
especially considering it is the first time I have come here.
CECILY. Uncle Jack, if you don't shake hands with Ernest I will
never forgive you.
JACK. Never forgive me?
CECILY. Never, never, never!
JACK. Well, this is the last time I shall ever do it. [Shakes
with ALGERNON and glares.]
CHASUBLE. It's pleasant, is it not, to see so perfect a
reconciliation? I think we might leave the two brothers together.
MISS PRISM. Cecily, you will come with us.
CECILY. Certainly, Miss Prism. My little task of reconciliation
is over.
CHASUBLE. You have done a beautiful action to-day, dear child.
MISS PRISM. We must not be premature in our judgments.
CECILY. I feel very happy. [They all go off except JACK and
ALGERNON.]
JACK. You young scoundrel, Algy, you must get out of this place as
soon as possible. I don't allow any Bunburying here.
[Enter MERRIMAN.]
MERRIMAN. I have put Mr. Ernest's things in the room next to
yours, sir. I suppose that is all right?
JACK. What?
MERRIMAN. Mr. Ernest's luggage, sir. I have unpacked it and put
it in the room next to your own.
JACK. His luggage?
MERRIMAN. Yes, sir. Three portmanteaus, a dressing-case, two hat-
boxes, and a large luncheon-basket.
ALGERNON. I am afraid I can't stay more than a week this time.
JACK. Merriman, order the dog-cart at once. Mr. Ernest has been
suddenly called back to town.
MERRIMAN. Yes, sir. [Goes back into the house.]
ALGERNON. What a fearful liar you are, Jack. I have not been
called back to town at all.
JACK. Yes, you have.
ALGERNON. I haven't heard any one call me.
JACK. Your duty as a gentleman calls you back.
ALGERNON. My duty as a gentleman has never interfered with my
pleasures in the smallest degree.
JACK. I can quite understand that.
ALGERNON. Well, Cecily is a darling.
JACK. You are not to talk of Miss Cardew like that. I don't like
it.
ALGERNON. Well, I don't like your clothes. You look perfectly
ridiculous in them. Why on earth don't you go up and change? It
is perfectlychildish to be in deep mourning for a man who is
never!
CHASUBLE. [With a scholar's shudder.] Believe me, I do not
deserve so neologistic a phrase. The precept as well as the
practice of the Primitive Church was distinctly against matrimony.
MISS PRISM. [Sententiously.] That is obviously the reason why the
Primitive Church has not lasted up to the present day. And you do
not seem to realise, dear Doctor, that by persistently remaining
single, a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.
Men should be more careful; this very celibacy leads weaker vessels
astray.
CHASUBLE. But is a man not equallyattractive when married?
MISS PRISM. No married man is ever attractive except to his wife.
CHASUBLE. And often, I've been told, not even to her.
MISS PRISM. That depends on the intellectual sympathies of the
woman. Maturity can always be depended on. Ripeness can be
trusted. Young women are green. [DR. CHASUBLE starts.] I spoke
horticulturally. My metaphor was drawn from fruits. But where is
Cecily?
CHASUBLE. Perhaps she followed us to the schools.
[Enter JACK slowly from the back of the garden. He is dressed in
the deepest mourning, with crape hatband and black gloves.]
MISS PRISM. Mr. Worthing!
CHASUBLE. Mr. Worthing?
MISS PRISM. This is indeed a surprise. We did not look for you
till Monday afternoon.
JACK. [Shakes MISS PRISM'S hand in a tragic manner.] I have
returned sooner than I expected. Dr. Chasuble, I hope you are
well?
CHASUBLE. Dear Mr. Worthing, I trust this garb of woe does not
betoken some terrible calamity?
JACK. My brother.
MISS PRISM. More shameful debts and extravagance?
CHASUBLE. Still leading his life of pleasure?
JACK. [Shaking his head.] Dead!
CHASUBLE. Your brother Ernest dead?
JACK. Quite dead.
MISS PRISM. What a lesson for him! I trust he will profit by it.
CHASUBLE. Mr. Worthing, I offer you my sincere condolence. You
have at least the consolation of knowing that you were always the
most generous and forgiving of brothers.
JACK. Poor Ernest! He had many faults, but it is a sad, sad blow.
CHASUBLE. Very sad indeed. Were you with him at the end?
JACK. No. He died abroad; in Paris, in fact. I had a telegram
last night from the manager of the Grand Hotel.
CHASUBLE. Was the cause of death mentioned?
JACK. A severe chill, it seems.
MISS PRISM. As a man sows, so shall he reap.
CHASUBLE. [Raising his hand.] Charity, dear Miss Prism, charity!
None of us are perfect. I myself am peculiarlysusceptible to
draughts. Will the interment take place here?
JACK. No. He seems to have expressed a desire to be buried in
Paris.
CHASUBLE. In Paris! [Shakes his head.] I fear that hardly points
to any very serious state of mind at the last. You would no doubt
wish me to make some slight allusion to this tragic domestic
affliction next Sunday. [JACK presses his hand convulsively.] My
sermon on the meaning of the manna in the wilderness can be adapted
to almost any occasion, joyful, or, as in the present case,
distressing. [All sigh.] I have preached it at harvest
celebrations, christenings, confirmations, on days of humiliation
and festal days. The last time I delivered it was in the
Cathedral, as a charitysermon on behalf of the Society for the
Prevention of Discontent among the Upper Orders. The Bishop, who
was present, was much struck by some of the analogies I drew.
JACK. Ah! that reminds me, you mentioned christenings I think, Dr.
Chasuble? I suppose you know how to christen all right? [DR.
CHASUBLE looks astounded.] I mean, of course, you are continually
christening, aren't you?
MISS PRISM. It is, I regret to say, one of the Rector's most
constant duties in this parish. I have often spoken to the poorer
classes on the subject. But they don't seem to know what thrift
is.
CHASUBLE. But is there any particular infant in whom you are
interested, Mr. Worthing? Your brother was, I believe, unmarried,
was he not?
JACK. Oh yes.
MISS PRISM. [Bitterly.] People who live entirely for pleasure
usually are.
JACK. But it is not for any child, dear Doctor. I am very fond of
children. No! the fact is, I would like to be christened myself,
this afternoon, if you have nothing better to do.
CHASUBLE. But surely, Mr. Worthing, you have been christened
already?
JACK. I don't remember anything about it.
CHASUBLE. But have you any grave doubts on the subject?
JACK. I certainly intend to have. Of course I don't know if the
thing would bother you in any way, or if you think I am a little
too old now.
CHASUBLE. Not at all. The sprinkling, and, indeed, the immersion
of adults is a perfectly canonical practice.
JACK. Immersion!
CHASUBLE. You need have no apprehensions. Sprinkling is all that
is necessary, or indeed I think advisable. Our weather is so
changeable. At what hour would you wish the ceremony performed?
JACK. Oh, I might trot round about five if that would suit you.
CHASUBLE. Perfectly, perfectly! In fact I have two similar
ceremonies to perform at that time. A case of twins that occurred
recently in one of the outlying cottages on your own estate. Poor
Jenkins the carter, a most hard-working man.
JACK. Oh! I don't see much fun in being christened along with
other babies. It would be childish. Would half-past five do?
CHASUBLE. Admirably! Admirably! [Takes out watch.] And now,
dear Mr. Worthing, I will not intrude any longer into a house of
sorrow. I would merely beg you not to be too much bowed down by
grief. What seem to us bitter trials are often blessings in
disguise.
MISS PRISM. This seems to me a blessing of an extremely obvious
kind.
[Enter CECILY from the house.]
CECILY. Uncle Jack! Oh, I am pleased to see you back. But what
horrid clothes you have got on! Do go and change them.
MISS PRISM. Cecily!
CHASUBLE. My child! my child! [CECILY goes towards JACK; he
kisses her brow in a melancholy manner.]
CECILY. What is the matter, Uncle Jack? Do look happy! You look
as if you had toothache, and I have got such a surprise for you.
Who do you think is in the dining-room? Your brother!
JACK. Who?
CECILY. Your brother Ernest. He arrived about half an hour ago.
JACK. What nonsense! I haven't got a brother.
CECILY. Oh, don't say that. However badly he may have behaved to
you in the past he is still your brother. You couldn't be so
heartless as to disown him. I'll tell him to come out. And you
will shake hands with him, won't you, Uncle Jack? [Runs back into
the house.]
CHASUBLE. These are very joyful tidings.
MISS PRISM. After we had all been resigned to his loss, his sudden
return seems to me peculiarly distressing.
JACK. My brother is in the dining-room? I don't know what it all
means. I think it is perfectly absurd.
[Enter ALGERNON and CECILY hand in hand. They come slowly up to
JACK.]
JACK. Good heavens! [Motions ALGERNON away.]
ALGERNON. Brother John, I have come down from town to tell you
that I am very sorry for all the trouble I have given you, and that
I intend to lead a better life in the future. [JACK glares at him
and does not take his hand.]
CECILY. Uncle Jack, you are not going to refuse your own brother's
hand?
JACK. Nothing will induce me to take his hand. I think his coming
down here disgraceful. He knows perfectly well why.
CECILY. Uncle Jack, do be nice. There is some good in every one.
Ernest has just been telling me about his poor invalid friend Mr.
Bunbury whom he goes to visit so often. And surely there must be
much good in one who is kind to an invalid, and leaves the
pleasures of London to sit by a bed of pain.
JACK. Oh! he has been talking about Bunbury, has he?
CECILY. Yes, he has told me all about poor Mr. Bunbury, and his
terrible state of health.
JACK. Bunbury! Well, I won't have him talk to you about Bunbury
or about anything else. It is enough to drive one perfectly
frantic.
ALGERNON. Of course I admit that the faults were all on my side.
But I must say that I think that Brother John's coldness to me is
peculiarlypainful. I expected a more enthusiastic welcome,
especially considering it is the first time I have come here.
CECILY. Uncle Jack, if you don't shake hands with Ernest I will
never forgive you.
JACK. Never forgive me?
CECILY. Never, never, never!
JACK. Well, this is the last time I shall ever do it. [Shakes
with ALGERNON and glares.]
CHASUBLE. It's pleasant, is it not, to see so perfect a
reconciliation? I think we might leave the two brothers together.
MISS PRISM. Cecily, you will come with us.
CECILY. Certainly, Miss Prism. My little task of reconciliation
is over.
CHASUBLE. You have done a beautiful action to-day, dear child.
MISS PRISM. We must not be premature in our judgments.
CECILY. I feel very happy. [They all go off except JACK and
ALGERNON.]
JACK. You young scoundrel, Algy, you must get out of this place as
soon as possible. I don't allow any Bunburying here.
[Enter MERRIMAN.]
MERRIMAN. I have put Mr. Ernest's things in the room next to
yours, sir. I suppose that is all right?
JACK. What?
MERRIMAN. Mr. Ernest's luggage, sir. I have unpacked it and put
it in the room next to your own.
JACK. His luggage?
MERRIMAN. Yes, sir. Three portmanteaus, a dressing-case, two hat-
boxes, and a large luncheon-basket.
ALGERNON. I am afraid I can't stay more than a week this time.
JACK. Merriman, order the dog-cart at once. Mr. Ernest has been
suddenly called back to town.
MERRIMAN. Yes, sir. [Goes back into the house.]
ALGERNON. What a fearful liar you are, Jack. I have not been
called back to town at all.
JACK. Yes, you have.
ALGERNON. I haven't heard any one call me.
JACK. Your duty as a gentleman calls you back.
ALGERNON. My duty as a gentleman has never interfered with my
pleasures in the smallest degree.
JACK. I can quite understand that.
ALGERNON. Well, Cecily is a darling.
JACK. You are not to talk of Miss Cardew like that. I don't like
it.
ALGERNON. Well, I don't like your clothes. You look perfectly
ridiculous in them. Why on earth don't you go up and change? It
is perfectlychildish to be in deep mourning for a man who is
- phrase [freiz]
n.短语；词组；措词 (初中英语单词) - primitive [´primitiv] a.原始的 n.原始人 (初中英语单词)
- distinctly [di´stiŋktli] ad.清楚地，明晰地 (初中英语单词)
- obviously [´ɔbviəsli] ad.明显地；显而易见地 (初中英语单词)
- permanent [´pə:mənənt] a.永久的；不变的 (初中英语单词)
- equally [´i:kwəli] ad.相等地；平等地 (初中英语单词)
- attractive [ə´træktiv] a.有吸引力；诱人的 (初中英语单词)
- mourning [´mɔ:niŋ] n.悲伤；治丧；戴孝 (初中英语单词)
- sincere [sin´siə] a.真挚的；直率的 (初中英语单词)
- knowing [´nəuiŋ] a.会意的，心照不宣的 (初中英语单词)
- generous [´dʒenərəs] a.慷慨的；丰盛的 (初中英语单词)
- abroad [ə´brɔ:d] ad.海外；到处；广泛 (初中英语单词)
- manager [´mænidʒə] n.经理；管理人；干事 (初中英语单词)
- severe [si´viə] a.严厉的；苛刻的 (初中英语单词)
- wilderness [´wildənis] n.荒地，荒野 (初中英语单词)
- bishop [´biʃəp] n.主教 (初中英语单词)
- spoken [´spəukən] speak的过去分词 (初中英语单词)
- infant [´infənt] n.&a.婴(幼)儿 (初中英语单词)
- bother [´bɔðə] v.打扰 n.麻烦(事) (初中英语单词)
- ceremony [´seriməni] n.典礼；礼仪；客气 (初中英语单词)
- estate [i´steit] n.财产；庄园；等级 (初中英语单词)
- childish [´tʃaildiʃ] a.孩子的；幼稚的 (初中英语单词)
- blessing [´blesiŋ] n.祝福 (初中英语单词)
- extremely [ik´stri:mli] ad.极端地；非常地 (初中英语单词)
- coldness [´kəuldnis] n.寒冷；冷淡 (初中英语单词)
- forgive [fə´giv] vt.原谅，谅解，宽恕 (初中英语单词)
- fearful [´fiəfəl] a.可怕的；担心的 (初中英语单词)
- intellectual [,inti´lektʃuəl] n.知识分子 (高中英语单词)
- tragic [´trædʒik] a.悲剧的；悲惨的 (高中英语单词)
- charity [´tʃæriti] n.施舍；慈悲；博爱 (高中英语单词)
- joyful [´dʒɔifəl] a.高兴的，充满快乐的 (高中英语单词)
- sermon [´sə:mən] n.说教；训诫；讲道 (高中英语单词)
- behalf [bi´hɑ:f] n.利益 (高中英语单词)
- discontent [´diskən´tent] n.&a.不满(平)(的) (高中英语单词)
- parish [´pæriʃ] n.教区(的全体居民) (高中英语单词)
- perfectly [´pə:fiktli] ad.理想地；完美地 (高中英语单词)
- melancholy [´melənkəli] n.忧郁 a.忧郁的 (高中英语单词)
- painful [´peinfəl] a.痛(苦)的；费力的 (高中英语单词)
- enthusiastic [inθju:zi´æstik] a.热情的，热心的 (高中英语单词)
- luggage [´lʌgidʒ] n.行李；皮箱 (高中英语单词)
- precept [´pri:sept] n.箴言；教训；规则 (英语四级单词)
- maturity [mə´tjuəriti] n.成熟；完备 (英语四级单词)
- shameful [´ʃeimfəl] a.可耻的；猥亵的 (英语四级单词)
- consolation [,kɔnsə´leiʃən] n.安慰，慰问 (英语四级单词)
- peculiarly [pi´kju:liəli] ad.特有地；古怪地 (英语四级单词)
- allusion [ə´lu:ʒən] n.暗指；提及；引喻 (英语四级单词)
- intrude [in´tru:d] v.闯进；打扰；强加 (英语四级单词)
- invalid [in´vælid] n.病人 a.无效的 (英语四级单词)
- considering [kən´sidəriŋ] prep.就...而论 (英语四级单词)
- susceptible [sə´septəbəl] a.敏感的；易受影响的 (英语六级单词)
- christen [´krisən] vt.为...施洗礼 (英语六级单词)
- advisable [əd´vaizəbl] a.合适的，得当的 (英语六级单词)
- disgraceful [dis´greisful] a.可耻的；不光彩的 (英语六级单词)
- scoundrel [´skaundrəl] n.&a.无赖(的) (英语六级单词)
文章标签:名著
章节正文
京公网安备 11011202003401号
